ANTONIO POV

Will looks like he's going to throw up, tears threatening to fall. The pager on his hip buzzes and he almost looks relieved that he's being called back to the hospital. He gives us a stiff nod and practically sprints for the door but doesn't quite make it before something like a sob escapes his lips and the door swings closed.

It takes me a second, but then I realize what Mouse said, 'the last time' as in, not the first time and not this time. Jay's been through this before. More than once. With an angry grunt escaping my lips, I scrub my hands over my face, then roughly through my hair, wanting to pull it all out, before clasping them on top of my head. I lean back and look at the ceiling. I want to cry. Cry for my friend and what he went through protecting our country. I take a breath to calm myself the fuck down. Eventually, I blow out some angry air and drop my head back down to look at the group and I'm slapped with reality, Jay is standing in the doorway.

The team must have noticed my reaction because almost on cue everyone turns around and looks at Jay. No one says anything. We just look at him as he calmly takes in the room. "Jay…" Erin starts, but he just turns around and goes back into the bedroom. She gets up to go after him but Mouse stops her. "Hey Erin…" He doesn't continue, just a silent communication between the two of them before he gets up and follows Jay into the room.

We're all left to just look at each other. I think we're trying to process what Mouse said and trying to come to grips with how Jay looked. We knew how badly he was beaten but taking in everything at once was beyond startling. He had stood there, wearing just the basketball shorts. All of the bruising was visible, most are darker than would seem possible, especially the bruises on his hip, ribs and collar bone. How was he even standing?

It made me realize, how much pain he must be hiding from us and that thought, again, brought tears to my eyes which I promptly rub away. The white bandages on his wrists, ankles and abdomen, although a little bloody, were a sharp contrast to the bruises on his body. All of this taking me back to how Al and Erin found him, unconscious, tied spread eagle on his bed. The sadness and worry I felt for Jay was slowly being replaced with a boiling rage at his attackers.

MOUSE POV

Jay is lying on the bed with his arm over his eyes. I just stand there and then sit at the foot of the bed. "I'm sorry Jay." Jay doesn't respond at first. I'm getting uncomfortable and then Jay finally does speak but doesn't uncover his eyes. "It's ok Mouse." He's quiet for a while. I know he is going to say something else so I stay quiet and wait. Finally when he does speak, the words fluctuate between sadness and anger.

"You were right. In fact you hit the nail on the head. This…this was so different than what I've experienced before, I don't know how to process it." He stops for a second, gathering his thoughts. I stay silent and wait. "When it was happening I was mostly thinking of the pain and getting through it but when I was in the hospital and had time to think, I started to freak out. I did feel powerless. I do feel powerless and I hate that feeling. The physical pain I can handle but I just don't know what to do with the rest. I'm not afraid of them coming at me again, I think we know that's a given. But I just don't want to feel that powerless when they do."

I get it. I get where he is coming from but this whole thing would scare the shit out of me. It is scaring the shit out of me. We all know this isn't over. We all know it doesn't make sense. We all know that there will be another attempt to fuck with Jay, hurt him or kill him. We just don't know when it's coming and if we can stop it before Jay ends up injured or dead.

Al POV

I can hear Mouse and Jay talking. I know Jay isn't mad. He's just private. He lets his past out in drips and drabs, on his own terms and only when absolutely necessary. Talking brings everything to the surface, which I am sure this has. Erin looks like she wants to curl up in a ball and cry. She takes a few breaths and then sits on her shaking hands.

It's gone quiet in the bedroom and then Mouse comes out, "He's good." He takes his seat again, immediately getting lost in his computer, trying to shove any emotion down. He isn't successful though. Everything is written all over his face. He hasn't mastered the stoic mask that Jay has perfected.

Jay walks gingerly out of the bedroom a moment later. The kid looks like hell. He's still in his baggy shorts but struggling to put on a t-shirt, until he finally gives up and throws it on the back of the couch.

"So where are we?"

No one says anything. We all just sit there looking at him. He looks like he could fall down any minute. He confirms this by holding onto the back of the couch, even though he tried to look nonchalant about it.

"Your not helping Halstead, so go back to bed and rest."

He huffs, takes a deep breath and shakes his head to clear it before he slowly makes his way to the kitchen.

Adam looks somewhere between amazed and appalled, "Is he fucking kidding?"

"Of course he's not kidding." Antonio and Erin say at the same time.

"Guys…" No one heard Jay's quiet call until he repeated it.

"Guys…guys, guys! Something's wrong. Something…"

They all run to the kitchen but Al puts out an arm and stops them before they get there. Jay's hands are gripping the counter, his head dropped, hanging towards his chest as he rocks back and forth, eyes scrunched shut.

"Hey Kid, what's going on?"

He whispers, "I can't be here…why are they here?" and then puts his forehead on the counter between his hands mumbling 'why are they here' over and over.

Erin looks at me and steps forward.

"Jay, babe…"

Jay feels her move forward and jumps back further into the small kitchen, faced etched with pain with the movement as he grabs at the wound on his stomach. I look at Hank and he looks like I feel, confused.

Erin takes another small step forward but stops when Jay backs himself against the wall.

I try again, as quietly as I can so as not to spook him any more than he already is, "Jay, come on kid, tell me what's going on."

"How are you all here? Why are you here?" He is looking back and forth, terrified, body trembling, taking us all in but not seeing us. Shit.

"How is this happening? Jackson…" his voice cracks as he whispers, "you're dead I saw you die." He looks to the corner where no one is standing, in confusion. He takes his hand away from his stomach and looks at the blood that covers it.

"I couldn't keep it in. I couldn't keep the blood in and he died."

"Guys," Mouse speaks quietly from behind us, "he thinks he's in Kabul. Jackson got hit by a sniper. He was dead before we got to him. He's hallucinating."

Every jerky movement he makes is hurting him but how do we stop him without really hurting him. I can hear Atwater in the background calling for an ambulance. Then Jay has a partial moment of clarity, followed by confusion when he recognizes Voight.

"Voight?"

Voight starts to answer him but Jay doesn't give him a chance.

"This is all wrong. This is all wrong…You were in Kabul?" His head tilts to the side in confusion, "Why didn't you tell me? Why are you here?" He looks again at a group of people that isn't us. "You're all dead…" He whispers, practically in tears now…looking pack and forth in panic… "I saw you die. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I wasn't in time." Atwater, Ruzek and Tony are standing back so Jay doesn't feel threatened. He's becoming more panicked by the second but we are still at a loss for what to do. The wound on his abdomen is starting to bleed freely, soaking through his bandage and dripping down his leg.

"WHY IS EVERYONE HERE!" he practically screams. None of us really know what to do but we stay back, for now, except for Erin, who is slowly moving forward, Mouse right behind her. We don't want to panic him any more than he is and hurt himself more.

"Jay, Lieutenant. Hey, it's me, Mouse. You're okay, we're okay. We're back in Chicago. In your apartment."

"Mouse…" He whispers. We can hear the sirens in the background. "Mouse, they're all dead. I'm sorry, I'M SORRY!…" he clutches his head with both hands. Erin and Mouse take another step closer. The tears start to fall as Jay shakes his head and looks back and forth at the people he fought with and lost in Afghanistan. "Mouse, we lost them, I lost them…"

"I know bud, I know. It's going to be okay."

Jay is quiet for a moment, eyes wide, staring at the people that have haunted his dreams for years. He's slightly bent over now clutching his side, when Erin becomes part of the hallucination.

"Erin?" His breath hitches, "Erin, you can't be here." His face crumbles, "YOU CAN'T BE HERE! Why are you here." He's crying now, "Mouse! They're all dead. Why is Erin here? They're dead. Why is she here?" He tries to gesture to the people he is seeing with his bloody hand while the other braces against the wall to help keep him on his feet. "Erin," he sobs, "why are you here…Er…" The anguish in his voice is heartbreaking. The kid thinks Erin is one of the dead that are currently haunting him. Erin reaches for him when he bends over clutching his wound in pain and then tries to straighten up again. He looks at Erin and lifts his bloody, trembling hand to her cheek then crumbles to the floor.

RUZEKS POV

Holy fuck…that was the scariest thing I have ever seen and I hope somehow it is magically scrubbed from my memory. When Jay started to fall and Mouse and Erin caught him and lowered him to the ground, I thought he was dead. I had to cover my eyes so no one would see the few tears that had fallen but then I saw Kev and realized he thought the same thing.

When Brett and Dawson starting working on him, we had all backed away and gave them room to work. They had said he was okay, his heart was racing, understandably, but he was stable. When they asked what drugs he had taken, we were all at a loss for words. When they put soft restraints on him, I wanted to protest but Gabby says, sensing what all of us were feeling, "It's for his protection guys. He's going to be okay." We all watched as they pushed the gurney to the elevators, Erin by Jay's side. Voight just behind them. As soon as they were on the elevator, Voight came storming back, barking orders.

"Antonio call Will and tell him what happened and to meet us at med. Al, get Crime Scene down here. I want this area secure. DON'T touch anything. Jay didn't just start hallucinating. They've done something. Glove up. Hopefully we'll get some fingerprints if they came back and did it between when Jay was brought to the hospital and when we got back.

"It has to be something he ingested. If it was something he touched one of us would probably also be hallucinating. But have them check everything, anything Jay might have touched, ate or drank. Meet us at the hospital when they get here and know what they are looking for."

Voight's phone rings. "Voight,…Erin, Erin…slow down…what happened…are you okay? Okay, hold tight. We're coming right now."

As the phone call had progressed we were getting more and more agitated.

Al looks at his friend, "What…"

"They were jumped when they were putting Jay in the ambulance." Antonio races out of the apartment, worried about his sister. Voight barks his finally orders before racing after Antonio, "Atwater, Mouse stay here, wait for crime scene. The rest of you with me."

A minute later we are busting out of Jay's apartment running to where Gabby and Erin are crouched over Brett as she lays unconscious in the street.

"They're all okay Brett's slowly coming around," Antonio says with obvious relief. '"There's another bus coming."

"What happened?"

"The assholes were waiting in the ambulance and knocked them all out. They have Jay."