GaryShipping
Well, of course fans are going to ship me with other characters. Who wouldn't want to be paired with me? This may be a long list, but I've got some time. Show me what you've got!
AboutTimeShipping – Gary x James
Almost time? For James to come out of the closet? Ahahahaha—! Wait…
AlabamaShipping – Gary x Daisy Oak / Gary x May Oak
Someone just offended people from Alabama… And Daisy is Green's sister, not mine. Wait, May? SERIOUSLY, GUYS?
AlmostStraightShipping – Gary x Ashley (Kanto)
Ashley? Who's that? *Is shown a picture* WAIT, THAT'S ASH? Oh my Arceus, this is going on the Internet.
ArchRivalShipping – Gary, Green (game), Green (PokéSpe), Leaf x Blue
This…is a mess…
ArroganceShipping – Gary x Drew
I don't know who Drew is… And I'm not arrogant.
ArrogantShipping / SnobShipping – Gary x Giselle
I just said I'm not arrogant! Or a snob! You guys are being mean to this poor girl… Whoever Giselle is.
AttentionSeekerShipping – Gary, Ash x Drew
Ignoring the threesome for a moment, I'm really not liking any of these names.
AugustShipping – Gary x Sammy
Sammy? Who's that? …WHAT ABOUT MY GRANDFATHER?
AwkwardHandHoldingShipping – Gary's right hand x Paul's left hand
Is this because of that one ending where we all held hands? Cause yeah, Paul was having none of that.
AzanShipping – Gary x Green (PokéSpe)
That's just weird…
BangthewangShipping / ExtremityShipping / PerfectlyNormalMaleActivityShipping / SaturdayNightShipping / SlapHappyShipping / SpankthemonkeyShipping – Gary, his left hand x his right hand
…
All of you are absolutely disgusting…
BestGlitchEverShipping – Gary x Missingno.
The glitch Pokémon? Pokémon… Poké… What is Missingno.? How would that even work?
BigGayDanceShipping – Gary x Khoury
Who the hell came up with these names?
BrunettShipping – Gary x May
Eh, I didn't have much interest in May. She was cool, though.
CavalierShipping – Gary x Dawn
Same with May, but Dawn seemed to admire me a lot for some reason. Something about my grandfather…?
ChokeTheChickenShipping – Gary x Combusken
Surely Combusken is a Pokémon, but…
I don't think my list is about the actual pairings more than these terrible names…
ConceitedShipping / ConceitShipping – Gary x Lily (Kanto)
I'm not conceited!
DarkShipping – Gary x Umbreon
Another Pokémon? Well, if Missingno. was on the list, then I can't really say I wasn't prepared…
EgoHaremShipping – Gary, Bonnie, Dawn, Iris, May, Misty x Serena
Umm…?!
EgoRivalShipping – Gary x Jessie
Jessie? Seriously, guys?
EgoShipping – Gary x Misty
What's with the mentions of "ego?". I never minded Misty much. I didn't think she really like me, anyway. She seemed to defend Ash a lot.
GarydosShipping – Gary x Gyarados
HA.
GaryMFOakShipping – Gary, Caroline, Delia, Grace (Kalos), Johanna x Professor Berlitz
Hell. No.
GirthShipping – Gary x Palkia
This is starting to get really disturbing… And I'm not even talking about the being paired with a Pokémon part…
GrandpaShipping / GrandsonShipping – Gary x Professor Oak
WHAT IN THE FLYING—?!
HandShipping / ManosShipping / SelfShipping – Gary x his left hand / Gary x his right hand / Gary, his left hand x his right hand
Are we still doing this?!
HeckShipping / HellShipping – Gary x Brock
Hell is where I'd be living if I was ever in a relationship with him. Are you kidding me?
HolyHellShipping – Gary, Brock x Arceus
Oh boy.
HolyShiShipping – Gary, Ash, Brock x Ritchie
Oh, this one is because all of our Japanese names end with a "shi;" clever…
HotMessShipping – Gary x Hilda
Hot mess? I look good! I'm not sure who Hilda is, but you guys need to stop insulting these girls.
Wait, "I look good?" Is this where the "ego" thing came from?
IncestShipping – Gary x May Oak
I'm really just not sure about this anymore.
KidnextdoorShipping – Gary x Delia
I think you guys should start paying me to continue doing this.
KnowitallShipping – Gary x Max
Max is quite the know-it-all, isn't he? And he's a little too young.
LeafGreenShipping – Gary x Leaf
I'm never going to understand why this pairing is so popular. I've never met this chick in my life. I've heard that she's pretty cool, but I've never met her! This pairing also seems to be confused with OldRivalShipping, which is with our manga counterparts Green and Blue. Which is already strange that people who look exactly like us exist…
Maybe people think Leaf and I would go good together. I dunno.
LeftHandShipping – Gary x his left hand
I don't think I'm gonna have many brain cells left by the end of this.
LoliIncestShipping – Gary, Ash x May Oak
Because I'm gonna need to scrub my mind with bleach afterwards.
MasaraTownShipping – Gary x Ash (Mirror)
Like, I'm not old enough to drink, so I have to think of something.
MilkedMyEelShipping – Gary x Eelektrik
Is my list the only one with all the rampant mentions of my dick?! I AM TEN YEARS OLD.
NarcissisticVainTotallyAboutMyselfShipping – Gary x himself
*Sighs*
OakFamilyShipping – Gary, Professor Oak, Daisy Oak x May Oak
*Internally screams*
OakKidsShipping – Gary, Green (game), Green (PokéSpe), Shigeru, Daisy Oak x May Oak
*Actually screams*
OakShipping – Gary x Tracey
Tracey's a good friend of mine, but we're not going out.
ObnoxiousShipping – Gary x Butch
I am not obnoxious!
ObnoxiousVoiceShipping – Gary, Seymour x Meowth
…My voice is not obnoxious, excuse you.
OkidoShipping – Gary x Green (game)
THERE'S ANOTHER LOOK-ALIKE?!
What do you mean I'm the one who looks like him?
OnslaughtShipping – Gary x Mewtwo
I don't even know if I care anymore about who I'm even being paired with.
OtherHandShipping – Gary x his left hand
*Facepalms*
PalletShipping – Gary x Ash
Ash? Are you kidding me? Why would I ever like him? I just like getting on his nerves. We're friendly rivals is all.
PhaedraShipping – Gary x Arceus
I should not have agreed to do this.
PimpNerdShipping – Gary x Clemont
My reputation in this fandom is horrendous.
PokéYaoiShipping – Gary, Ash, Cilan, Clemont, Drew, Paul x Trip
SEE?!
PretentiousShipping – Gary x Ursula
I'm just now realizing that I don't even know a good portion of these people.
QuiteUnusualShipping – Gary x Diancie
Yeah, I'm pretty sure everything on this list is a bit more than quite unusual.
RightHandShipping – Gary x his right hand
OH WOW, GUYS. I DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING.
SexygamechampionShipping – Gary x Cynthia
Yeah right, I wish I could score a date with this chick.
SexyIncestShipping – Gary, Daisy (Cerulean) x May Oak
Is it possible to set an entire fandom on fire?
ShigeruMiyamotoShipping – Gary x Miyamoto
Okay, that was a good one.
SpecialPikachuEditionShipping – Gary x Eevee
The author has informed you that she named this pairing because she was surprised it didn't already have a name and not because she actually ships it?
Well, that answers that question.
StubbornShipping – Gary x Chikorita
So the fandom apparently thinks I'm arrogant, conceited, egotistical, narcissistic, vain, obnoxious, pretentious and stubborn. And apparently enjoy a good wank.
Consistently.
SupportShipping – Gary x his cheerleaders
Whoa, whoa, whoa, no…
TripleBakaShipping – Gary, Ash x Barry
Oh, and now I'm stupid? I thought you guys called me a know-it-all awhile ago?!
WhyWouldYouDoThatShipping – Gary x Lenora
I have been asking that this whole time.
Final Thoughts
So now that I have been informed that people don't actually actively ship everything on this list, I'm led to think that people just want to watch me burn.
…Whatever happened to Gary Motherfuckin' Oak…?
LeafGreenShipping. Not OldRivalShipping, LeafGreenShipping.
Also, after reediting this chapter (literally almost a complete revamp of what I had previously), I'm pretty sure that Gary's chapter was the worst in terms of ship names… Like, the names got worse after editing this chapter three years after I wrote it the first time.
~Midori
