Chapter 4
Amy walked into her dark apartment. She looked down at her phone. Four missed calls, three messages and a number of texts, all from Sheldon. She couldn't talk to him right now, all the words she heard from Penny and Bernadette were just repeating themselves in her head.
You don't turn him on…You don't have a good relationship… He cringes when he touches you…If he were with me he'd want it three times in a row…You don't activate that part of his brain…If he didn't have all his issues, he would be with someone hot and smart, not just smart.
Amy walked over to the bathroom and stared at herself in the mirror. Her eyes looked swollen and red. Her hair was a mess, her nose was all red from crying. She slowly took off her cardigan, unbuttoned her shirt, took off her skirt, tights and underwear and turned on the shower. Hot water…very hot. She looked down at her thigh, the skin was very red and so tender to the touch.
Amy turned towards the mirror again and stared at herself.
Do you really blame him for not being physical?
She thought of her amazingly gorgeous blue eyed boyfriend with his sweet mischievous smile. She stepped into the shower, the hot water stinging her skin. I don't blame him, she thought. He could do so much better than me. Even my own friends think so. I was so stupid to think that he would love me that way. I just wanted it so bad….
Amy put her back against the tiles, and slowly slid til she was sitting. The hot water was hitting her face, stinging her thigh. She began to cry. She cried thinking of losing Sheldon, she cried thinking that she finally had friends, but they didn't think much of her, she cried thinking she always had her work as her rock, and now she didn't even have a project to work on. She cried and cried until the water went ice cold and there were no more tears left in her.
Sheldon was worried. He had tried to contact Amy, but she was not answering her calls or texts. He was hoping that she went to her apartment, because that was where he was headed. He was currently sitting on the night bus, whose schedule seemed completely without logic.
Sheldon was thinking that he probably should have gone back to Penny's and asked Leonard for a ride to Amy's, but the thought of seeing Penny right now was not one he could stomach. His hands clenched in anger when he thought of how cruel they had been to his Amy. It puzzled him, how they would imply that he was not attracted to Amy. He smiled when he thought of her. He loved her shiny brown hair, pinned to the side with a little clip. He loved her colourful tights and her feminine skirts. He loved her layers of cardigans…it just was so uniquely her. He loved that she challenged him, that they had fun together, that he could feel completely at ease and at home with her. It was a feeling that he had never felt with anyone else before. He hated the thought of Amy crying because of the words that they had told her. He would need to seek some sort of revenge on them. He was sure that Amy and him could think of a devious plan to put them in their place. Finally, he was at Amy's stop. He rushed out of the bus and towards her building.
Knock, Knock, Knock "Amy?"
Knock, Knock, Knock "Amy?"
Knock, Knock, Knock "Amy?"
"Amy please answer the door. I know you are there. I could see the lights on in your apartment from the street."
"Sheldon, please, I can't talk now. I'll talk to you tomorrow, I promise."
"Amy, please open the door. I'm not going to leave until I see you."
"Sheldon, Please just go. I don't want to see anyone right now."
"Amy, please! If you don't open the door, you'll leave me no choice." Sheldon reached into his messenger bag, and pulled out a notched keycard and a small screwdriver. Amy started to hear a weird clicking going on with her door. She flung the door open.
"Sheldon, seriously, are you trying to pick my lock?"
Sheldon stared at Amy. Her hair was wet, and pulled into a messy ponytail on the top of her head. Her eyes looked red and swollen. She was wearing a loose t-shirt, and billowy shorts that ended mid-way up her thigh. Her thigh was covered in an angry looking red blotch.
"Amy, your leg! Have you put any medicine on it? Maybe we should get that looked at." He grabbed her hand and then gasped. "Why are you freezing cold? Your skin feels like ice!" He rushed over to the couch and grabbed a blanket and wrapped her in it. He then rushed over to the kitchen and put the kettle on the stove. "Where is your Polysporin? I don't want you getting an infection from your burn"
"I'm ok. Listen, I just really want to be alone right now."
Sheldon brought two cups of tea to the couch and set it on the table. "Drink this, it will warm you up…be careful not to drop any on your leg." He softly took her hand. "Amy, what happened today?" He noticed that she would not look him in the eyes.
"Uummm..well this morning I was rushing, and I spilt coffee on my leg. I didn't realize how bad the burn was til later, cause I was in such a rush. I went down to my car and saw that someone had broken in. No real damage, but my window is a little wonky now. I got to the university to find out the funding on my addiction study had been pulled because a guy in my research team skewed the data in his favour and published a paper for his study. The university found out, and they pulled the grant. Sheldon, they completely cancelled my project. I don't know what I am going to do. I need to write new grant proposals, which can take a lot of time. I may need to go back to UCLA and try to get on some projects in the meantime."
"That is preposterous! Why would they cancel the entire project, when one person is at fault. They should simply disregard his study. This is why I hate working with people…they just complicate everything."
"They don't trust my team anymore. This whole thing has really damaged my reputation" Amy said quietly.
Sheldon noticed that Amy was still not looking at him, but looking down at the floor. "Amy, what else happened to you today?"
Amy started fidgeting with the blanket. "Ahh, just went to Penny's for girls night. Penny was pretty drunk, and her and Bernadette started fighting. I tried to step in, but then we all started fighting. With my bad day, it was just all too much, and I left crying, which you saw."
"Amy, I went up to Penny's apartment after you ran out. They told me everything."
"Everything?"
"Well, yes, I think everything"
Oh my god….Amy felt her eyes well up with tears again. She was so embarrassed, she wanted to disintegrate right into the couch. She couldn't look at him, her hands started shaking.
"Amy, what they were saying.."
"They were right, I mean, they are speaking the truth. Alcohol can be like a truth serum, it releases inhibitions, and people often speak what they really feel"
"What? Just because they are speaking what they think is the truth, doesn't make it the actual truth."
"You are an attractive man, and you could do a lot better than a mousy girl like me. Perhaps you chose me as a girlfriend, because you are not interested in having a physical relationship. I am non-threatening that way. If one day you resolved your intimacy issues, you may wish to be bonded with someone who is more on your own level in the looks department."
"Amy, you cannot possibly believe the malarkey those two were spewing out"
"It's not malarkey. It's the truth. It's been the truth of my life. I've always known that I'm not the girl that got the big romantic gestures, the flowers, the men swooning over me. That has never been me. I guess I just desperately wanted it though…I was told that if you were interested in me that way, you would have tried something by now, so I'm left to conclude that you are not really interested in me that way."
"But it's not true, I feel things…Amy…I do…for you"
"You feel affection, a closeness, a comfortableness with me. You do not however have the primal urge to rip my clothes off and have your way with me. I guess I am simply 'not the one'. I wish I was the one, but I should have left that dream buried a long time ago." Amy wiped a tear away from her eyes.
"Amy I do feel things for you…intimate things. It's just taking me some time, I'm not used to feeling this way."
"Maybe you are forcing something that simply isn't right for you. Sheldon, maybe we should terminate the"
"No! We are not terminating anything. Amy you are not thinking straight. I love you! You are making a rash decision because you are upset. You are not allowed to make any relationship decisions in this altered state. No, I will not allow it!"
"Sheldon, I'm not in some manic state. I need time…I need to sort this through in my head. Maybe we should take a month apart."
"How will that solve anything? Us being apart? No, No…a month is much too long. How about three days?"
"Three weeks."
"Two weeks final offer." Sheldon's eyes had gone red with tears. "Amy please don't do this. Don't let those two idiot's opinions wreck what we have. What we have is special."
"I agree to two weeks. Sheldon, I really need this time to think, to evaluate" Amy sniffed.
"But Amy, I love you…" Sheldon said as he embraced Amy, tears falling into her hair.
"I love you too." Amy slowly closed the door on her one true love.