Matt

I rubbed my eyes, willing the sleep from my mind. I had to go in early today, Rick wanted Dimitri and I to fucking alphabetize everything in the store. Oh, and then we got to organize them by type. As if organization would help the measly business increase. Not with Rick running the place, I assure you.

At least Dimitri helped out. He was bitchy and more than a little annoying at times, but he was someone to talk to. Even if his resemblance to Mello ripped me apart. Honestly being around him made me want to run to Mello and…do something.

I stumbled sleepily out of bed, making my way to the bathroom. I finished my shower quickly, hoping to stay out of Mello's way. Actually he should be up by now.

Towel around my waist and goggles strapped to the top of my dripping hair, I went back to our room to find him. He was curled up, blond hair everywhere, with the blankets tangled around his legs. I smiled for a few moments before poking him sharply between the shoulder blades. He groaned, rolling over to bury his face in a pillow.

"Mells come on. You're going to be late for work."

He simply mumbled again, rolling onto his back and throwing his arms over his eyes. Drama queen.

"Mello, if you don't get up, I'll hide your chocolate."

"Try it and I'll break every game and game consol in this house."

Jeez it was only chocolate. Says the boy fearing for games' lives.

"Fine, I have no choice."

"What are you-"

I grabbed his side and pulled, rolling him off the bed and on to the floor. His face was priceless, but he looked a little more shocked than I though he would. Must be the surprise.

"M-Matt…" he pointed up around my waist, eyes wide.

"Mello, what are you…"

He held up the fluffy white towel that had been around my waist. I felt my cheeks heat up, grabbed the towel from his hands and ran to the bathroom.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! Why did he have to grab at THAT to help himself? He could have used toe bedside table, but no, he had to grab for my fucking crotch! Damn it, it was too early for this bull crap.

"Matt…" Mello's voice came through the door. "Can…can I come in? I need a shower." Don't we all.

Ah, what do I do about this thing! Shit!

I covered myself with my boxers, hoping Mello wouldn't notice the bulge growing between my legs. Yup, not noticeable at all. Unless you had the power of sight that is. Fuck.

He knocked again, still a bit hesitant. Might as well face the music….

I opened the door and walked straight in to Mello's chest. Nope, no way to avoid notice now.

His breath hitched as our crotch-o-regions nudged each other. Huh, interesting. He was just as…excited…as I was, if not more.

"Uh…sorry…" he mumbled before taking refuge in the bathroom. Yup too early for this.

Mello was unusually quiet on the way to work. He only glared at Dimitri before heading off for the mall.

"What's his problem?" Dimitri asked, leaning an arm on my shoulder.

"No idea." I was not telling him about the towel incident. Not now, not ever.

He was looking at me questioningly, his eyes so familiar, so similar to Mello's that I felt my cheeks blush for the second time that morning. His eyes sparkled, a momentary flash of realization coming over his features. I cringed internally, knowing the look wasn't a good sign.

"You love Mello don't you." he smirked. It wasn't a question, he knew he was right.

"Yeah." I answered regardless. No sense in denying it. I knew I was digging my own grave freely admitting to the fact but I just didn't care. Better to get things like this over with.

"I could help you, you know. To get him to love you back." OK, wasn't expecting that.

No accepting his help would mean an early death, I was sure.

"No thanks, Dimitri. I'm just going to wait it out, see if it's just a crush, you know?" Of course he knew, knew I was bullshitting him.

"Alright." He turned to leave. "You will need my help eventually though." And he had vanished to the back room.

Alrighty then…He is definitely weirder than Mello.

Mello…

He really was acting weird this morning. I mean, seeing another guy's package is awkward sure, but he was acting too off for it to just be that. Then again, we both got horny off it. Was that it? Was he upset over being turned on by another guy? That wasn't all too weird, given today's society.

Still shouldn't I be the one acting weird? It was me who had been exposed after all.

I sighed, forcing him out of my mind in order to focus on the obscene amount of games I had to organize. I really didn't get paid enough.

Dimitri followed me all day, helping mostly, but asking questions about mine and Mello's relationship and why he always walks me to and from work. I gave him the "best friends" excuse, which admittedly I made up on the spot having never needed one before, but he seemed to buy it. Though with him I couldn't be sure.

By the time Rick told us to leave, I was desperate to escape Dimitri. But Mello wasn't waiting for me.

"Hey, where's blondy?" Shit. Dimitri sat on the sidewalk at my feet. I resisted the urge to kick him.

"I don't know where Mello is Dimitri. He's usually here by now. And you're blond too you know." I didn't like the fact that Mello wasn't here and Dimitri calling him blondy just plain bugged me. but…what if he was hurt, or the cops suspected him about what happened with my father? What about that guy from the bar? Fuck.

"We need to find him." I forced as much, well, force as possible into my voice. It was unnatural for me to force anyone to do anything and Dimitri caught on and was up in a time I didn't think was possible outside games.

"I'll go, but only because you'd be useless if he's in any trouble." There was some other reason in the words but I didn't have the time or the mental capacity at the moment to sift through it. My thoughts were consumed by Mello.

We ran to the mall, a good ten blocks and more of a work out than I'd ever had, stopping just outside the doors to catch our breath. I thought my sides were going to explode, Mello would be laughing his fit ass off if he saw me like this.

Thinking of Mello brought back my determination I thought had been reserved for kicking ass at Mario. I needed to help him, or maybe I didn't. It didn't matter either way I was going to find him.

The store I knew he worked in, obvious being it was the only store that sold nothing but leather, was packed. People were stepping on each other to get to the register where a small sliver of blond was visible over the mass of bodies. Well, that made sense.

"You can go Dimitri. He's just busy. I'll wait for him out here. Sorry for bothering you like that."

I slumped against the shop window, the exertion of running taking the place of the adrenaline of worrying over Mello. Dimitri gave me a long look, assessing my condition, before nodding and turning to leave.

It was three hours before Mello finally stalked out of the store. He had a vacant look in his eye that didn't match the scowl the rest of his face held. His features softened a bit when he noticed me and all thought of this morning came rushing to the forefront of my mind, causing yet another blush to stain my cheeks. Mello's were tinted pink as well, maybe the same thoughts? No, no point getting my hopes up.

"So…how long have you been here?" he asked, helping me off the floor.

"A few hours. I got worried when you weren't there at closing. Dimitri brought me over." His scowl came back full force, but he simply nodded leading the way out.

I followed quietly, waiting for the questions I knew were forming in his mind. He was going to ask why I didn't just wait at the store, why I let Dimitri bring me here, what I was planning on doing if he had been in trouble. The questions never came though. He simply walked along in the same detached state as this morning.

It was creeping me out how little he was talking. Usually when we were together he was complaining about something, anything, even if it was completely pointless. The silence was driving me insane.

"Mells, you OK?" I placed a hand on his shoulder, trying not to let myself think about the throb of pain when he flinched away.

"Yeah. Fine." And he was silent again. He didn't say a word through dinner, and didn't even look at me until I shut off my game and said goodnight.

He looked at me as if it were his first time seeing me. As if something big had changed and he was just now realizing it. My mind was too far into the emptiness to think much on it though.

I woke up to a poke in the nose. I pushed the offending hand away weakly, wishing to fall back into my dream. Mello had been in it, older and more mature, but it was him. He was trying to say something to me, but I couldn't hear him.

The real Mello was screaming now, trying to get me out of bed. I pushed whichever part of his body was closest, vainly attempting to go back to sleep.

"Matt, having a day off does not mean you can sleep all day." Like hell it didn't. "Matty, get up."

"No." I could just imagine the pout on his face. I squeezed my eyes shut to avoid actually seeing said pout. If I did, I'd do whatever he asked.

I felt something heavy, obviously Mello, settle itself on my waist gently. Damn guy doesn't let up.

"Matt. Get up."

"I can't with you sitting on me, idiot."

"Then at least open your eyes."

I knew it was a trap. I'd open my eyes, see him hovering over me and all that damn emptiness would fill me up and I'd drown in it. I knew it all, but I opened my eyes anyway, because he asked me.

Yup. He was right there, inches from my face, eyes smiling and shining with something I couldn't place – heh, I rhymed. I swallowed hard. I could reach up and kiss him if I wanted to. Just one quick, simple move and instantaneous pleasure. Followed by long hours of emptiness and other things I didn't want to think about.

And suddenly I was afraid. I wanted to kiss him, so much did I want to, but he would get mad. It would ruin everything. I couldn't lose him, couldn't be on my own.

I felt my cheeks burn. His were pink too. He wanted to do the same as me. He wasn't afraid though, he never was. Damn strong Mello. He would be the death of me.

His eyes slipped shut and mine followed suit, too scared and nervous to watch what was coming next.

His lips covered mine tentatively. The only time he showed how nervous he was and it was when he decided to kiss me. I pushed him up as much as I could, trying to get as much of him as I could. He leaned back, letting me sit up. He licked at my lip, asking, begging and groaned when I accepted.

And then the fear was gone. I pushed him back so we were in the reverse of how we started. He wrapped his arms around my neck, pulling me closer. My hands found their way to the zipper of his vest, pulling it sown to explore the skin beneath. He moaned into my mouth making me smirk happily.

When the need for air grew stronger than the need for each other we pulled apart, panting lightly. I rested my head on his shoulder, refusing to move off him. I could feel the empty hole where my heart had been grow a bit smaller. I knew I might regret it later, but for now I just wanted to stay here.

Sadly time had it's own opinion of what we should be doing.

"I have to get to work Matty." He didn't sound as if he cared all that much. I didn't want to let him go, but we would need money later.

"Alright." I knew I sounded breathless, and I was. I slid off him, not moving from the bed. My legs wouldn't be able to support me.

He smiled – more like smirked – down at me, leaning over to give me a quick kiss that helped push away the emptiness more.

"I'll be home later. Don't get in to any trouble, m'kay?"

"As if. When do I ever do anything wrong?"

He laughed, standing to go. I watched him, wishing we had the time to stay together for a bit longer.

As the door closed I hoped we hadn't made some kind of mistake.

Mello

I touched my lips, detached from the world. I had kissed Matt. And he didn't push me away, he kissed back. Hell, he took it further than I intended to go. And I liked it. Fuck liked, I loved it. I wanted more of it, more of him.

Now, I wasn't sure about other religions, but mine didn't accept gays very readily. They weren't unwelcome, just kind of frowned upon. Honestly I didn't understand that. They were still people – or should it be we are still people? – so why should they be denied the love of God because of who they choose to love? It didn't make sense, saying God loved everyone if certain people were told they were sinning and wouldn't get to heaven simply because they loved someone of the same sex.

What Matt and I had just done…it didn't feel sinful. It felt…natural, normal, for us at least. As if we were born to do just that. He might think I would be praying for forgiveness right now, think he made a huge mistake, but I had no intention of asking God for forgiveness. Sure, anyone but Matt and I would run to the nearest church for several hours of serious prayer, but not this time. No, this wasn't sin, but it damn well should be.

I floated through the rest of the day, not sure what I was doing half the time, mind continuously on Matt. I just wanted the day to be over, to go home. I wanted to see if he still had that fear in his eyes. He had, just before I kissed him, looked at me with such fear that I wanted to start crying. He thought he would lose me if he kissed me like that. he couldn't lose me if he wanted to, I'd follow that boy to the ends of the earth if he asked.

"Mello, get your fucking ass back to work!"

Shit.

"Sorry. Sorry."

Ever since I started working here more and more people have been coming in. the mob that was here yesterday meant it was a slow day. Usually I was able to sneak out the back because of all the people, but with as little as was there I couldn't leave.

Seeing Matt waiting for me when I left, it made me feel like I was floating in chocolate, which I was seriously deprived of with all this work. Not that I showed it to him, but I did. Dimitri though…I owed him some sort of thanks, however much it hurt my pride to admit that. He didn't have to bring Matt here, but he had. Probably thought Matt couldn't hold his own if I had needed help. Though that was pretty much true. I'm sure he could hold his own against me, maybe, but if anyone bigger came along, he's only get hurt.

But damn if I didn't love the boy for trying.

Still…I had to get something for the guy. What the hell did he like? Not leather, he didn't wear any. Chocolate? No, he didn't seem the type and that would seem girly. Damn it, what the fuck do you get for someone you hate? Well he worked in a game store didn't he? Maybe he liked games. Yeah there was some new game Matt had been talking about and couldn't get yet because of some rule at work. I could get it for both of them. How much was it?

During my break, which wasn't very long the stingy bastard, I went to the game store in the mall. Why the hell didn't Matt work here anyway? It was much better than the dump he worked in now. There were several games on sale, all new, and I had no idea which one Matt had wanted. I grabbed two at random, deciding the one that looked the lamest was for Dimitri and paid trying to ignore the serious decline in my money for the week. Looks like I'm getting less chocolate this week than usual.

I stashed the games in my locker and went back to managing the mass of people buying leather. Who knew so many people shared my opinion in good clothing? Though from the looks some of the costumers, guys and girls, gave me I had a feeling they really didn't like this stuff. Whatever, made my paycheck bigger.

Today was much more crowded than yesterday so I was able to sneak out the back. I wasn't thrilled to give up something expensive like the game to Dimitri, but I had to thank him somehow. He was working today right?

Yup, he was. I could see his hair from the window. Taking a deep breath, I went in to the tiny store wasting no time in walking right over to him. I shoved the small box into his hands.

"ThanksforwalkingMatttothemalllastnight." I said all in one word. I really wasn't good at thank you's.

He smirked and I wanted to punch him so much I saw red. How dare he smirk at me when I'm thanking him. I didn't need to buy him the stupid game.

"No problem, just glad to help. He would have been useless if you had gotten yourself in any trouble. He's not to bright you know."

I knew my jaw had dropped. How dare he insult Matt like that!

"Excuse me?!"

"You're excused." I barely kept myself from hitting him.

"Matt's twice the human being you'll ever be! Sure he's not the best in a fight but he has perfectly good reasons for that! And he's one of the smartest people I've ever met-"

"You must not have met many people then."

I snapped.

I punched him as hard as I could, sending him falling back into a stack of games. Damn Matt had just organized those yesterday.

He stood, but made no move to hit me back. He just stood there smirking. I forced my breath to slow down; it would be no good if I passed out from breathing too hard.

"So, you do like him that much huh? I thought it was like that."

"Like him? I don't like him. I fucking love him."

"Oh? Well, then we have a problem."

"Oh?" I mimicked. "And what would that be?"

"Well you see, I like him too, and I'd like to, ah how should I say this, get to know him better. But by all means you can have him when I'm done."

I wouldn't hit him. I wouldn't hit him. I wouldn't hit him. Yeah fucking right. I hit him, as hard as my body would allow. He crashed into the wall, games falling over his head.

"Stay the fuck away from him! He's not some toy for you to use! He's better than that! He deserves better than someone like you!"

"Oh?" I was really getting sick of that word. "And are you much better? You can't say we don't look very much alike. Even our attitudes are alike. If I'm no good for him, what makes you think you are?"

I didn't know what to say to that. A vain part of myself wanted to say that I was ten times better than he was no matter how much we were alike. But this voice that sounded like my mother was saying that I wasn't good enough to so much as breath the same air as him. I had killed his father, taken away his family however awful they had been. I had brought him into my world of debt and pain and dangers I didn't even understand and he didn't deserve. I was no good for him.

Dimitri's smirk grew. "So you see what I mean now eh? I suggest you leave Matt alone now if you really love him. he couldn't be happy with someone like you anyway."

I felt something break in me and I didn't say anything. I turned and walked out of the small store wishing my life was different, that I was different. I pretended not to hear Dimitri when he said thank you for the game in the most horrid voice I had ever heard.

I'm not sure how long it took me to get home, but I was late if Matt's worried face was anything to go by. I tried to smile and play it off as a crowd like yesterdays. I wouldn't tell him about Dimitri. I couldn't. Had we really just kissed this morning? It seemed like so much longer.

He hugged me tight and I hugged back, holding as much of him in my mind for what might come next. I kissed him gently, not wanting to go too far too fast. He gasped at my unexpected move but kissed back with as much force as this morning. God, I loved him so much.

No, I couldn't give him up yet. I would keep him for as long as I could, Dimitri be damned. If he wanted to fight over him, then I would fight. I'd win if it killed me.

I picked him up bridal style, refusing to put him down even as he struggled and complained.

"Shush, you'll have fun, I promise." He quieted down and ran his fingers over my neck making me hold back a groan.

I placed him on my bed, sitting on him like this morning.

"Hmm, this looks familiar." He joked, laughing lightly. He was blushing deeply after being carried, it was cute.

I leaned down and kissed him again licking his lips again. He opened his mouth slowly and I was lost in heaven. My tongue explored every corner of his mouth while his explored mine nervously. I smiled and moved from his mouth to his throat. The groan was worth the movement.

I bit carefully at his pulse point, not too hard but hard enough that he would have a mark there tomorrow. Let Dimitri steal him after seeing that.

"Mell-Mello…" he gasped quietly. I smiled against his neck. I let my tongue snake out to lick down his neck to his chest, or what little there was exposed with his baggy shirt still on.

I pulled it up, he lifted his arms obediently and his shirt was off. I ran my hands over his chest slowly, enjoying the small moans and pants he made. He was so sensitive. He pulled my vest off with little problems though it was sticking to my skin from sweating so much.

I knew in the back of my mind that I was going this far partly to prove Dimitri wrong, but the other part was that I loved this boy and I wanted every bit of him I could get. He didn't seem to mind at least.

I kissed his exposed chest, biting here and there, making sure to leave marks to prove he was mine. He twisted his hand in my hair pulling me up to kiss me again. I groaned low in my throat as his tongue tangled with mine, losing myself in him.

And then I was on my back and he was on top of me. He smirked and I felt my heart jump into my throat.

"You've been holding back on me haven't you?" He smiled and kissed the skin under my ear.

"I've done no such thing. I just didn't do what I wanted."

"So you've been holding back on me."

He grinned. "Yup."

"Idiot."

He bit the spot he had just kissed and I practically screamed at the pleasure it caused. Never knew that would happen, interesting.

By the time we were spent, I knew we would both be covered in bruises the next day. He hadn't gone all the way, or even past the belt line, but we had made sure anyone who saw us knew we were taken. Funny, I never thought I would want to show off the fact that someone practically owned me. Then again, I hadn't known Matt then.

He was curled on my side, breathing returning to normal slowly. His arms were around my waist, his head on my chest. I ran my fingers through his hair, helping him sleep. I wouldn't be getting any tonight. Dimitri's words were still floating around my mind.

I knew I didn't deserve him; I just couldn't bear to part with him. He was like a magnet, as cheesy as that is. And maybe I'd lose him eventually but I wanted to savor what I had while it lasted, like my pathetic supply of chocolate.

Ah! I forgot the game!

"Hey Matt. Get up for a second. I got you something today." I couldn't keep the smile out of my voice.

He sat up groggily, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands. I got the bag from where I had dropped it in the kitchen and headed back for the bedroom.

"I don't know if it's the right one, but I knew you wanted a game and I had some free time and some money today so I thought I'd get you one. If it's not right I can take it back though." I was nervous, I had to tell him something else with the game too.

He took the bag from me, opening it quickly. I knew I had done good when his face broke out in a goofy grin.

"It's perfect Mello! I was going to have to wait till next month to get this!" he jumped over, literally, and kissed me hard it gratitude. I laughed, glad I could do something right for once.

He put the game on the nightstand and laid back down waiting for me to do the same so he could snuggle up next to me. I sighed and put my fingers in his hair again. I couldn't do it yet. I just couldn't.

Eventually his breathing evened out and he was asleep on my chest again.

"I love you Matty, I'm not going to let that thing hurt you. I promise." I whispered so he wouldn't wake up. That was just as good as telling him in my book.

A/N: i know the ending sucks i'm sorry. i wanted to get this chapter up today though cause i am beyond late with it and i'm going to be out all day tomorrow hopefully. but since i was late i threw in my bad kissing scenes! i like the first one best its sweeter. and Matty was exposed! poor poor child. lol

well everyone knows the line. Reviews are love peoples! they make people happy!