Blaine
The embarrassment and awkwardness sets in for both of us when Kurt's tears are all gone and he pulls back, clearing his throat. "Sorry."
"Don't worry about it. You have quite a lot to deal with right now. I get it."
"You uh... You probably need to go. I'm sure..."
"I said I'd help you, didn't I? So I'll help."
"I'll pay you the money you lost today."
"No you won't. You can... I don't know. Feed me pizza, or something."
He laughs, and wipes the last of his tears away. "Sure thing."
"I mean, not literally feed it to me..."
"I get it. But I'm still going to make up your wages."
"You are not! Please don't, Kurt. I know you're super rich, and I'm not, but please don't make me feel bad about it."
"I wasn't trying to do that, I swear."
"No, I'm sure it comes from a good place, but please... I know. Let's ask the girls what they want to do."
"What?"
"Come on." I grab his hand; it seems as though we're now comfortable enough with one another to be a little more relaxed, and pull him into the playroom, where Maggie and Alice are very cutely curled up together on the white couch, still watching the movie.
"Why did you buy a white couch for the playroom?"
"I didn't. I asked an interior designer to do it all."
"The whole house?"
"Yes."
"So none of this is actually your choice?"
"Shut up."
"Fine. Girls? Kurt has something he wants to ask."
They look up, and then past us both, trying to see the screen. In the end, I pause the movie, but there's no protest like there should be from a stubborn three year old and her big sister. I think back over what Kurt has told me. They've been passed around and treated horribly; no wonder they're just resigned to so much.
Kurt kneels in front of them, and places one hand on Maggie's knee. "So, I was wondering if you'd like to do something today?"
"Like what?"
"Like uh... We could watch a... No, no, you're watching a movie. Uh... we could... Oh! I know! We could make cookies! I make really good cookies. My dad taught me. So we could do that, or we could play a game, or we could..."
"We could take a walk?" I suggest. "Brooklyn Bridge park is right across the street."
"The park!" Alice cries, and her sister catches onto the excitement and claps her hands together.
"We like the park! Polly takes us sometimes."
"We can't do the park," Kurt says, horrified. "What if someone sees us? I'm not ready for questions, Blaine, I'm not. And I don't want their pictures..."
"You must leave the house, Kurt, surely? Put a hat on, wear some sunglasses; no one is going to suspect it's you with three kids in tow, are they?"
"Please Kurt? Alice likes the swing," Maggie says.
"I do!"
"Okay then." He nods, seemingly to convince himself he can do this. "Yes."
We eat lunch; a shameful mix of more cereal, yogurt, fruit, and cake, but the kids think it's brilliant and Joshua spends the whole time giggling. It's harder than it appears, to make it out of the house with three children; there's a stroller to wrestle with for a start, and then shoes to put on tiny feet, coats to fasten up, and then everything to take off again when Alice decides she needs to pee. It takes a long time, but we finally open the door, to find Marc returning from wherever he's been.
He's shocked to see us, and I get that, but there's still that undeniable sneer aimed in my direction before he lays a hand on Kurt's shoulder. "You shouldn't be out with them, and certainly not with him."
"We're only going to the park," Kurt tells him. "We won't be long."
"Just check no one's tipped the paps off first."
"Nope, no one has- it's just been me, Blaine, and the kids all morning, and I don't think Joshua can operate a phone yet. See you later. Can you pay those invoices while I'm gone, please? And also, contact Total TV about my shoot next week. Quinn was supposed to do it, but she's going to be out sick all weekend."
"Fine," he huffs, making me smile, and I take Maggie and Alice's hands in mine, leaving Kurt to the stroller.
"He likes you," I say as we walk down the street.
"Because he's the only other gay person you know? He does not like me."
"No, because he hates me and sees me as a threat, that's how I can tell. I knew he liked you before I knew you were gay, you fool. And anyway, I'm certainly not suggesting you date someone like him."
"You really don't like him, do you?"
"No I do not," I snap, and for some reason, I feel anger starting to build.
"Well, I have no intention of dating him," Kurt says with a laugh. "He has horrible taste in shoes."
That makes me laugh too, and the moment seems easier once again. We cross the street to the park, and I let go of Alice and Maggie, though they stay close by. "You can run, it's okay," I tell them.
Maggie looks at me as if I'm a lunatic, and takes my hand once more.
"Too much, too soon?" Kurt asks.
"I think it might be," I say, and then I swoop Alice up into my arms. "Let's find that playground."
They play, at the playground, which is good to see since I'd thought they might just observe, but they climb about and enjoy the slide, before heading to the sandbox. Kurt and I sit on a nearby bench, with Joshua in his stroller.
"You're not out, are you?" I ask as we watch the girls.
"Hmm, well, I guess not." We both look at the sandbox and not each other; it makes the awkwardness easier to deal with. "I mean, I'm not exactly in the closet, either. It's no secret among those that know me, or people who work with me. I just... I've never met anyone I've liked enough for it to necessitate my openness, I guess. I usually take Quinn to events, or my dad to any red carpet stuff."
"What would you say, if you were asked?"
"In an interview? I wouldn't be. It's on my list of questions that mustn't be asked. Right now I'm kinda... well, I'm at the top of my game. I haven't been asked to hide my sexuality, but studios have asked about it, and it's been strongly implied that I wouldn't get such great roles if I was out and proud."
"Wow."
"Yeah. Oddly enough, it's thought that if you're in a stable, committed relationship then the public accept you being gay much more than if you're single; there's still the misconception that gay men sleep around. That's partly why I don't want the press to know about the kids; I don't want that to lead to questions about how or why I have them but no partner, which in turn could reveal that I'm gay."
"I think...not to be mean, but I think a gay man caring for three kids is something not many people would understand."
"Right? I'm hoping this show does well, and gets renewed, because if it does, then I think I'd maybe feel more comfortable about their existence being known."
"Because you'd have job security?"
"Exactly. Is that dumb?"
"No, I get it. Tell me, did you always want to be an actor?"
"An actor, yes, but not a star. It's very different. I wanted to do Broadway, actually, so I guess that would've brought some notoriety, but not like this."
"How come you didn't?"
"Couldn't make it." He shrugs, then turns his attentions to Joshua. "I have the most ridiculous singing voice. Counter tenor. There's no roles for people like me. So I was going up for bit parts in movies just to make a living, and suddenly the director saw something he liked, and that was it. Now I'm earning more money than I could ever spend, my face is everywhere, and I'm lonely as hell." Pulling Joshua free from his stroller, he kisses his cheek and just for a moment, holds him close, blocking the world out. "Come on, let's see if he likes the swings."
I don't push Kurt to talk any more, but his words do come back to me throughout the day, and I find my heart aching for him. Sure, he owns a brownstone in Brooklyn which must be worth millions, and he seems to have a stock of cars and staff at his disposal, but I'm not sure I'd trade. Despite the constant struggle I have to get my music heard, I'd say I have relative peace and happiness in my life; a strong network of friends, a loving family, and freedom to do what I want. Kurt is a virtual prisoner, now with three young children to consider.
Joshua does like the swing, and so does Alice. Maggie is slightly more reticent, and prefers to help push the others, but for the first time, all three look happy, healthy, and relaxed, and their joy is reflected in Kurt's face too, as he smiles, laughs, and pulls goofy faces for them.
"Want me to take a picture for you?" I ask, and though Kurt hesitates, it's only for a moment before he crouches down between Alice and Joshua in the swings, and holds his arms out to Maggie. She goes willingly, squeezing him tight around his neck, so overjoyed that he is showing her some affection. The resulting photo is beautiful, and even in sunglasses and a baseball cap, Kurt's happiness is apparent.
"Let's ask someone to take one of all of us," he decides, taking my phone.
I let him search, eventually asking an older couple who clearly have no idea who he is. I'm glad. We sit on the bench; I hold Joshua and Alice, he holds Maggie, but what surprises me the most, is that Kurt takes his hat and glasses off, and puts one arm about my shoulders.
"Adorable," the woman taking the picture declares, before handing the phone back to Kurt and smoothing Maggie's hair. "What a beautiful family you have."
"Oh, thank you. They're not..." But she is gone, and Kurt turns to me, biting his lip. "Sorry. I didn't meant to make it look like..."
"I'm not offended, Kurt. Sheesh."
"No, but..."
"Kurt, it doesn't matter what other people think. It's a good picture, look. I'm not offended if people assume we're a family. Have you seen you? If they honestly think I can land someone like you, then I'm flattered."
"Ha!" He gets to his feet, and puts his hat and glasses back on. "Come on. We passed a coffee truck back there, and I'm in need of some caffeine."
Friendship with Kurt is easy. The more time we spend together, the more we discover things we have in common, such as the fact that we're both huge comic book nerds, and we both have an unhealthy obsession with Power Rangers that didn't die in childhood. He hates football, I love it, but his dad loves it also, he tells me, and orders me to meet with him next time he's in town. We love the same food, prefer wine over beer, and enjoy the same musicals. We also, both of us, have no clue about raising children, but I do tell Kurt he's doing an admirable job today.
The kids are exhausted when we get home, and Kurt's step tracker tells him we've walked them over six thousand steps; probably a lot for little legs. I find Sesame Street on the TV, and they all flake, including Joshua, who looks adorable sitting on the couch between the two girls. Kurt and I retreat to the kitchen, which is fast becoming some kind of sanctuary, and he rubs a hand over his face.
"I'm so damn tired."
"Same, but you know what? I think you made a whole heap of progress with them, in just a few hours."
"Yeah? I don't know. I still feel on edge, like I might say or do something totally dumb at any moment."
"Eh, you might. You probably will, but I don't think you have to be perfect, by any means. I think you just have to be loving, and kind, and fun to be with, and you're doing all of that."
It feels right to hug him; like it's needed and wanted by both of us. Perhaps it is strange. Perhaps it does go on longer than a hug between two friends should, but it's certainly by no means uncomfortable; if anything, I feel totally at peace.
"Ignore me," Marc trills, coming into the kitchen. "I didn't realize you were having a moment. Kurt, you might want to see this."
We pull apart, and I lean against the counter while Kurt examines whatever's on Marc's screen. "Hmm, well, it's only on some blog, and there's no pictures or anything." He hands the phone to me, and I don't miss the look of disgust from Marc. "Blaine, what do you think?"
OMG you guys, the post reads. So I was JUST in Brooklyn Bridge Park and KURT HUMMEL was there!
There follows multiple comments, mainly asking who he was with, and eventually the original poster comes back.
IDK, with some guy and his kids. Nieces and nephews? IDK. It was cute, though.
"That's...how do they... we've been home like, ten minutes. That's insane."
"That's the world of celebrity," Kurt says morosely. He hands the phone back to Marc. "Thanks for letting me know. I'm not really bothered at this stage. The kids needed to get out, and we had fun. It is what it is."
"Hmm, well, you might wanna make sure people aren't tipping the press or fans off about where you're going or what you're doing."
"Unless you are, Marc, then no, I think that post was nothing more than a chance sighting. In fact... Hang on. Are you saying you think Blaine tipped someone off? Because that is way out of line."
"I'm not saying that," Marc lies. "It's just...you know... I realize it's easy to be flattered by all the attention, but you don't really know Blaine. No offense, Blaine."
"None taken." I step closer to Kurt, letting our arms brush together. "Kurt knows me better than you think."
My implied meaning is clear, and Marc blushes. "I'm sure."
"I mean it, Marc, don't you ever accuse Blaine of something like that ever again."
"Fine," he huffs, and I hide my face in Kurt's shoulder to keep from laughing as he flounces off.
"I'm sorry," I tell Kurt the second he's gone. "I can't help it. His words ignite some kind of childish reaction in me."
"I noticed. Making out like you're sleeping with me."
"Sorry."
"I should tell him you're not gay, but then it wouldn't be fun anymore." He winks, making me laugh with relief more than anything.
"I didn't tip anyone off, just so you know. I wouldn't even know how."
"Blaine, I mean it, I know you wouldn't do that. Please don't worry. Let's order pizza instead."
"Sure."
I forget entirely about my brother, and the fact that he will be expecting to pick me up from my shift so we can drive to our parents for the weekend. Of course, he calls right as the pizza and the nanny arrives, and chaos is reigning supreme.
"I'm helping Kurt out. I don't think... I don't think I'm gonna make it."
"What? You've been there all day?"
"Yeah. It's a long story, but... But I think I'm gonna be needed this whole weekend. His manager is sick, the nanny is sick, and... hold on. Alice! Alice, sweetie, don't climb up there. Kurt will get plates in a moment. Sorry. I gotta go."
"What am I supposed to tell mom and dad?"
"Just tell them something came up at work."
"Hmm, well, I hope he's paying you for babysitting his kids."
"I don't want him to pay me, you moron. He's my friend."
"Sure Blaine, whatever." I can practically hear my brother rolling his eyes at me. "A world famous celeb with childcare issues suddenly wants to be your BFF. Of course."
"You don't know him, Cooper."
"And neither do you. Just be careful, Blaine. People are always taking advantage of your good nature and I don't want it to happen again. I'll call you Monday."
"Ugh."
Kurt looks up from where he's setting pizza boxes on the table. "So am I allowed to ask where you were supposed to be this evening?"
"This weekend, actually. My brother and I were going to visit my parents."
"Blaine! You should've said."
"I forgot, in all honesty. It's been a funny kind of day. But it doesn't matter. They only live an hour upstate so I see them regularly."
"Wine?"
"I think it's needed."
"Too right." Kurt opens a bottle, then hands me a glass before raising his own. "To you. Thank you for saving me today, and thank you for what you said to your brother, about us being friends."
"We are, aren't we?"
"I'd like to think so. God knows I need one."
"Then to us," I decide, knocking our glasses together. "And friendship."
The nanny feeds Joshua and puts him to bed, while Kurt and I sit at the table with Maggie and Alice to enjoy the pizza. Maggie tells us a hundred times that she's never had takeout pizza, and once she's eaten a slice, she also tells us that she only ever wants to eat takeout pizza.
"Not gonna happen, I'm afraid," Kurt says, laughing. "Though it's a nice idea. This is just a special treat because Blaine told me to feed him pizza."
"You have to feed him!" she squeals, clapping her hands. "Feed him the pizza!"
Fueled by a second glass of wine, no doubt, as well as a need to impress my young audience, I lean over the table to Kurt, who sits opposite, and open my mouth. "Go for it."
"Well that's nice, looking into that cavernous hole," Kurt says. He rolls his eyes and picks up a slice of pizza. "Here."
I have never heard laughter like it; Alice climbs onto the table for a closer look, while Maggie shrieks and claps in between her hysterical giggles. I eat the whole slice, and by the end, both Kurt and I are helpless with laughter, too.
"You know, I always thought of feeding another adult as a sensuous experience," Kurt says, wiping at his eyes.
"Are you saying that wasn't?"
"Not at all. No." He kicks me for good measure, then takes a slice of pizza for himself.
"You want some help with that?"
"You wanna be told where to get off?"
It's a perfect evening. After dinner, Kurt helps the nanny to give the girls a bath, something I don't feel right to intrude upon, so I clear the kitchen of pizza boxes and dirty plates and then grab my jacket and wait in the hallway for him to return.
"You're going?"
"Well." I shrug. "They're going off to bed, so my work here is kinda done..."
"Right." Maybe I imagine the disappointment, and maybe I imagine the heavy sadness I feel at the thought of taking my leave, but I certainly don't imagine the awkwardness, when both of us want to say something, but neither of us seem to know what.
"Tomorrow?"
"What about it?"
"I could come by?"
"I'd like that. Um... In fact... I'd like it if you could spend the day with us again."
"Yeah. I'd like that too."
Kurt smiles. "Gimme your phone."
I hand it over without question, but I'd assumed it was so he could send the photo to himself, not so that he could put his number in. "Text me when you're on your way. Come for breakfast."
"I will do. Night, Kurt. Thanks for a great day."
"Likewise." He opens the door, and the streetlight makes his eyes shine brighter than ever. "Sleep well."