I Have a Large, Thick Sausage

Opening Note: The title is for my coworker (henceforth to be known as The Muse or Great Lord of Pizza Ovens), who once announced that his favorite part of the day was when someone ordered a large sausage pizza on thick crust for dine in so that he could call out, "I have a large, thick sausage". Yes, it's a little immature. But think of it as someone trying to bring something imaginative to their otherwise monotonous workday.

Disclaimer: I claim no legal rights to these characters. I do not even want to own legal rights to them. They give me enough trouble already.

Dedication: To the writers on FFnet who are, in my humble opinion, the best. There are very few. I can count them on one hand.

Especially to Dualism!

Four: Seasick

"He's kind of… peristant."

"Kind of?" I asked, looking around at the two dozen plus bouquets of assorted flowers (over half of which I was allergic to).

"Okay, he's a stalker freak," Sora clarified.

He'd already explained to me that Riku was the son of another wealthy family, Miyano Industries, which pretty much partnered Peña's Paradise Pineapples. Anyway, Riku began stalking Sora when he was 15 and Sora was 14, after meeting him at a boring company social event. Riku asked Sora to marry him. Sora called Riku a pervert and immediately dumped a punchbowl of Peña's Paradise Pineapple Punch Potion Parade on his head.

Despite that, Sora managed to form a somewhat friendship with Riku, which came in useful when Sora was looking for me. It turns out dad used to work for Miyano Industries. That's how Sora found out what happened to dad and where he could find the grave.

"I didn't think he'd follow me…" Sora offered apologetically.

I would have been angry, but I thought it was amusing. Every time a new vase of flowers was delivered to the house he blushed and made me sign the form and then went into a rant about how stupid Riku was to follow him to Twilight Town and if he thought that he'd win his heart by buying out every florist's shop on Sunset Ave, he had another think coming, all while lovingly fingering the flowers. I actually thought Sora was flattered by all of this attention. I could tell he was the romantic type.

We moved all of the flowers to the back porch because my headache was getting worse, and got ready to go to the pizzeria. Sora had taken to following me there and ran around busing tables to help us, or cutting tomatoes or folding boxes. He didn't mind that he wasn't getting paid for it.

Axel was flirting with a brunette girl when we entered, and in the back her little sisters fought over whose turn it was on Princess of Heart. There were three orders waiting on the table for me, and once the girl had gone, Axel muttered that it was the most orders that had come in all day at once.

Sora gave me a half smile and went to clean up a table. The night previous we'd called Peña's Paradise Pineapples, and Sora's dad said it sounded like a good idea. We were keeping it a secret from Axel and Cid or now, though. At least until next week. We were going to Destiny Island on Highwind the next day to meet with Mr. Peña.

"Your shirt's not tucked in, Axel," I remarked while spreading cheese on an large classic vegetarian.

"Staring at my ass again, Roxas?"

I dropped the subject immediately and went back to feathering out the spinach and green olives to the edges of the pizza.

"You're breaking my heart, Roxas, ignoring me like this."

I convinced myself that I felt disgusted his voice at my ear and his hands light on my hips.

"You don't have a heart, Axel," I muttered, picking up the board and swinging around to slide the pie in the oven.

"That's mean, Roxas," he said, putting his hand over mine on the oven handle. I glared up at him.

"Instead of wasting your time on me," I said, "You should be focusing on the customers."

"What customers?" Axel questioned, glancing briefly over his shoulder before leaning closer to me. I convinced myself that I hated this closeness.

"Excuse me?"

Disappointment flashed a darker shade of jade green in Axel's eyes and he pulled away from me, turning to face the customer at the counter.

No, Riku. Sunset Plaza Pizzeria doesn't owe your Hawaiian mafia any protection money. Go away.

"Hello, Roxas."

I raised an eyebrow. "Riku Miyano. Quit sending flowers to my house. They give me a headache."

"Is this guy bothering you?" Axel sounded unlike himself. Possessive. Jealous. I convinced myself that I wasn't turned on by it.

"Sora, actually," I corrected. Riku seemed to visibly brighten at the name.

"Is he here?"

I glanced through the back and spotted him, paused with a knife half into a zucchini. He gave me a look and I winked.

"He went back home, actually," I lied. "He needed to get some clothes and stuff. He said he'd come back tomorrow."

Axel shot a puzzled look at me, but I ignored him.

"That's funny," Riku said. "I just passed the harbor, and Highwind was still there."

Shit.

"Then he's probably with our mom."

Riku bought the lie. And a personal pizza.

I'd never been on a boat. Not since I was a baby. The sea air smelled nice, but the bouncing of the waves made me sick to my stomach. Sora insisted I drink some pineapple juice, but I informed him that I was now anti-pineapple. I'd had enough. Highwind sported a huge pineapple design on her sail, the deck chairs were patterned with them, the plates and glasses were all pineapple-themed, and Sora's swimming trunks were adorned with pineapple rings. I was suffering from pineapple overload.

At least my friends were having a great time. They'd warmed up to Sora easily, and not just because he was wealthy. Sora let Pence take pictures of everything, let Hayner steer for a while, and danced with Olette.

Midcourse, he disappeared into the kitchen to make us something to eat, emerging a little later bearing a pineapple shaped tray of sandwiches.

"Hey all you people!" he sang. "Hey all you people!" Olette laughed and helped him with the pitcher of Pineapple Punch Potion Parade.

"Hey all you people! Won't you listen to me? I've just had a sandwich. No ordinary sandwich! A sandwich filled with jellyfish jelly!" I groaned. Pence began to sing along.

"Hey man, you gotta try this sandwich! It's no ordinary sandwich! It's the tastiest sandwich in the sea!"

We reached Destiny Island when the beach was at its best and spent the whole day there, swimming and surfing and building castles in the sand. I met Sora's adoptive family and together we persuaded Sora's dad to come back to Twilight Town with us to offer Cid a business deal.

The Writer

(The song is from Spongbob Squarepants. Special thanks to Waffle for writing them down for me!)