There was hustle and bustle as watchdogs ran from one side of the room to the other- carrying props and sound and lighting equipment, as they prepared the stage for the big performance. Everything had been set up in the ship's auditorium earlier that day, set to the specific likings and instructions of Mister Magico the Maleficent- the hired magician that was originally suppose to perform for Lord Hater. But with his little accident, and Wander now taking over for him, the nomad had changes of his own. His zbornak buddy was giving the orders, telling them to 'move, move, move', as the show was about to start in a few minutes.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the big velvet red curtains, sat Lord Hater upfront and center in the audience. He grumbled, arms crossed, as his second in command sat right next to him.
"This is so STUPID! Why the heck would I be impressed by a fake magic show? You DO realize I can do my OWN magic, right? Powers, DUH!"
His commander beside him chuckled nervously. "Oh, I'm sure it won't be that bad..." He only wished he believed his own words. He was suddenly embarrassed that this had been all his idea- minus the part where Wander ruined everything, which he was no doubt going to.
Six other watchdogs sat in provided chairs behind them. Hater threw a glare over his shoulder when the lights dimmed and one of them cheered.
"Peepers!" He hissed to his second in command. "Why are there so many people at my NOT birthday party!"
"I don't know, sir, Wander probably invited them. Oh look, the show's about to start!" Thankfully, the overlord seemed satisfied with that answer enough not to pursue it any farther. Sylvia plopped down a few seats away from Hater, and a watchdog scurried over to sit beside her and offered her some of his popcorn.
Music flared up from speakers placed around the room, and the large curtains were pulled back to reveal a good sized stage, Wander looking far too tiny for it, standing in the center. He bowed to the audience. Sylvia and a couple watchdogs clapped.
"Thank you, thank you, ladies and gentlemen-" He took a better look at the audience. "Oh, pardon me, lady and gentlemen."
Wander stopped his squinting as he stood up straight, smile ever wide.
"First off, thank ya'll for coming! As we all know, today we have a very special birthday boy in the audience. Let's give a round of applause for Lord Hater, everybody! The most handsome lookin' feller on the ship, if I do say so."
Everyone in the audience clapped this time, though none were really enthusiastic. In fact, it just sounded sarcastic more than anything else. Hater grumbled again as he sunk deeper into his chair.
If Wander noticed any of this, he didn't let on, as he continued with the show.
"Now, without further ado, watch n' be amazed as I perform the first trick of the evening- behold!"
And they beheld, as the fuzzy magician on the stage held his hands up, one atop the other, wrapped around his thumb.
"Now, what you're about to see might get to the more squeamish folks in the audience tonight." he warned. He waited a beat in case anyone wanted to look away. When no one did, he proceeded to pull off his thumb.
He awaited the gasps of horror and shock, but none came. Nothing greeted him but silence and deadpan stares.
"Huh. Guess you've all seen that one. Not to worry, you'll be sure t'love this next one!"
The nomad magician then reached into his cape as he pulled out a red and blue scarf. With one in each hand, he began to talk to the audience once more.
"Now, this here trick is a lil' somethin' I picked up from a nice old fella from the Rumba Nebula side of space. He was a retired magician, himself; and, after me n' Syl helped him out with the lil' bug problem he was havin' in his personal garden, he INSISTED paying us back. Now, he wasn't the richest guy money wise… But what he DID have was riches in the mystical n' amazing. So we stayed with him for a few days as he taught us- Sylvia giving up sooner than later because zbornak apparently don't have enough fingers OR patience.
"Though, ya' know, I have'ta disagree on THAT one. I thought she was doin' pretty well, myself. But hey, if you wanna quit, who am I t'say anything about it? Right? Riiiight?"
Wander had paused as he addressed the audience, and was met by glares. Finally, Peepers shouted from the front row.
"Oh, for PETE'S sake- WOULD YOU JUST GET ON WITH IT?!"
"OH! Right, 'scuse me on that one. Sometimes I jus' have the habit of my mouth jus' goin' on and on. But, yeah! Have a lil' loosky at THIS!"
With a wave of his hand, the two scarves suddenly became three, as a purple one was added to the group. The crowd oo'ed.
"Ain't they just the prettiest colors? Ya know, I think I'd like a matching set."
Wander waved his hand over the three scarves once more, before bringing his hand up to the tips. As he grabbed at them and began to pull away, there was another series of gasps from the watchdogs in the audience as the three scarves became six. The nomad looked at them fondly as the audience clapped.
"Now now, folks, this is just a warm up. Wait til' the REAL magic happens. But first, let me jus' tie these pretty lil' things together~"
And he went to work tying the corners of the scarves together, until he had one long scarf chain.
"And now I'll just put them away for now..." He held out a fist, and stuffed the scarf rope into it until the whole thing was contained in one fist. The watchdogs in the audience gasped again when he opened the fist to reveal the scarves were gone.
Hater had forgotten his grumpy posture somewhere along the way, and was practically on the edge of his seat, gaping at the magician.
"It's gone! Peepers, did you see that?" Peepers rolled his eye.
"Yeah, I saw it. Sir, do keep in mind these are only tricks, merely illusions, y'know?"
"Oh, yeah, I knew that. I just. Shut up."
Wander caught the exchange, and grinned even wider. His levels of satisfaction over seeing the birthday boy genuinely enjoying himself were unmeasurable.
"Huh, now where could those silly thing have gotten off to? I coulda' sworn I- ah... ahhhhh-CHOO!" Wander let out a sizable sneeze, the scarf rope seemingly shooting out and back into his hand. He sniffled, and wiped his face with it. "Oh, pardon."
"That's amazing!" One of the watchdogs yelled. "He sneezed and he doesn't even have a nose!"
The rest of the audience ohh'd and nodded at his discovery.
Hater turned to Peepers, said nothing, but gestured strongly to the stage with an outstretched hand, as if daring him to call that just a trick. The Watchdog, however, merely rolled his eye. Whatever. Lord Hater could be roped into the parlor tricks if he wanted to. As long as it kept him happy and not on a rampage. Peepers, however, was still expecting trouble.
This was Wander, after all.
The magic man of marvel back on stage, however, was busy bowing and ignored this exchange. Once he finished, he stood up straight as he removed his hat and stuffed the scarves inside. He placed the hat back on top of his head, as he affectionately gave it a quick pat, before putting his focus back on the audience. Wander cleared his throat.
"Thank you all, you're all being a GREAT audience! And for my NEXT trick, I'm gonna need one of ya'll t'come on up and help me out. Now, hmm, whiiich one of you to choose?"
He covered his eyes some, so he could see better through the spotlight, as the nomad noted many of the troops in the audience were excited as they called out to be picked. Hater, however, found himself taken aback as he debated over whether he would even want such a thing. His hesitation must have been just enough for Wander to pick up on, as he smiled down at him from the stage, as he pointed down at the skeleton.
"How 'bout YOU, Hater? Birthday boys should ALWAYS get first pick."
"Uh, well… I don't know…"
"I promise you'll enjoooy it. What do ya say, folks, how 'bout cheering him on?"
The skeleton rolled his eyes as the watchdog soldiers began chanting out "Hate's great, best villain!" over and over. Oh man, these guys… STILL, it worked all the same, as a small smile crossed his face for a moment as he grabbed onto Wander's hand to get up. The magician smiled his biggest smile, as he proceeded to pull him up on stage with one good yank.
As soon as Hater was up, Wander turned to gesture offstage. "And if I could get my lovely assistant Sylvia t'bring me the box..."
Hater decided to ignore the fact that she'd just been sitting in the audience a moment ago, as he watched the zbornak wheel out a colorfully decorated rectangular box. She left it center stage, and smiled at Wander as he thanked her and tipped his hat, and then she left the stage to return to her seat.
"Lovely isn't the word I would have used." Peepers mumbled as she passed.
"Watch it, pipsqueak." she growled back.
Wander opened the hinged lid on the box, and stepped aside.
"If you would." He said, gesturing to the box. Hater merely gave him a look. He expected him to get in there? It looked like a coffin! Was this some sort of sick joke?
"Don't worry!" Wander whispered, sensing his trepidations. "It doesn't hurt!"
That didn't help at all, and Wander's too wide grin was making it worse. Suddenly, he heard his dumpy bodyguard yelling from the audience.
"Come on! What, are you afraid of a box, Bonehead?" It was followed by amused cackling, and he realized not all of it was hers. Hater roared, as his anger began to peak.
"I AM NOT!"
Despite his better judgement, he climbed into the box, mumbling and grumbling the entire time. It took another couple of minutes of explaining and complaining to get his head and feet stuck through the appropriate holes on either end of the box.
Once seeing that Hater was in the box as comfortably as he could be, Wander went back to addressing the audience.
"Now, for my next trick, I'm gonna pull out an oldie; but, I reassure you fine folks that this ol' dog is still a goodie! Yes, you all can probably guess, but I am going to attempt to cut this good lookin' fella in half!"
"Wait, WHAT," The skeleton shouted over the cheering crowd," I NEVER SIGNED UP FOR THIS!"
"Don't worry, Hater, you'll do fine! I promised you'd like this one, remember?"
Lord Hater watched the nomad from his end of the box, as Wander walked around it. Once on the other side, he removed his top hat as he dug deep inside. He mumbled as he searched, even going so far to tuck his head inside. With an "ah-HA!", Wander pulled himself out- a long and rusty looking saw coming out with him. Hater's eyes opened wide in alarm.
"I changed my mind! I, I want out!"
The skeleton was actually beginning to panic now, and pushed against the lid. The lid rattled, but didn't budge. Had the fuzzball locked him in there? Was this how it was going to end? The all powerful Lord Hater's entire empire crumbled, because the all powerful Lord Hater was stuck in a box?
His panic intensified when the sound of sawing began, then froze and turned into something else entirely when he saw those big eyes gazing down at him. Hater met the gaze with a sharp glare. Hopefully a threatening one. The glare faltered when Wander leaned down to murmur to him.
"Hater, have I ever told you you have got the most bea-utiful eyes?"
Flustered feelings hit the skeleton like a wave, crashing upon him as Wander leaned closer. Hater should have reminded him he was in the middle of a show. He should have reminded the nomad that they were being watched by a crowd- somebody was bound to notice his behavior!
Instead Hater found himself staring at those lips- those same lips that had been touching him not even twenty-four hours before- as he replayed the experience in his mind. The overlord grumbled as he looked away- face a dark shade of green.
"No…"
"WELL, you do, ya know." Wander sighed, as he brought both hands to his chin as he rested onto the box to look deeper into those green pools. "I could jus' look at 'em all day~"
While the act was very intimate, those words filling him with the same mix of dread and happiness he couldn't seem to get rid of, Hater found himself gasping as he looked back at the magician. If… If both hands were there…
Why did he still hear the sounds of wood being cut?
Looking behind the dirty mop of a man's head- which was hard to do in his current box-trapped state- his eyes opened up wide as he screamed.
"GYAH! How… how are you- THE SAW!"
Wander was broken from his trance with a start, shot up, and saw the saw was sawing without him.
"Huh? Oh! Whoopsie." He shrugged sheepishly at both Hater and the audience. "Doncha just hate it when magic gets away from ya?"
The watchdogs, sans Peepers, in the audience, laughed.
"Enough foolin', folks, let's get back to this here trick." Wander grabbed the handle of the saw, and finished cutting through the box. Sylvia was suddenly on stage again, and with a smirk, separated the box in two, and spun them around. The audience gasped.
Wander leaned down to Hater again, and he recoiled with a sneer.
"Hater, y'mind wigglin' your feet some so they know it's real?" He whispered.
"What? No! I'm not doing something so ridiculous!"
"Pretty please?"
"I SAID no!"
The nomad paused, for a minute… before his eyes lit up. Wander gave Hater a mischievous beam, before going down to the end of the box where the overlord's converse sneakers were sticking out. Still grinning as if he was up to no good, he began to untie and remove one of Hater's shoes.
The skeleton barked from his other end.
"What do you think you are doing?! STOP RIGHT THIS MINUTE!"
Wander ignored him, as he exposed the boney foot of the birthday boy. Reaching into his cape, the magician let forth a 'ta-da!' as he pulled out a long blue feather.
Hater did NOT like where this was going.
"Nonono, DON'T YOU DARE! Wander, I MEAN IT! I swear, if you do that, I am going to-"
Hater never got to finish his threat, the skeleton bursting into a mad fit of laughter as Wander began tickling him.
The laughter was a bonus, but it certainly did change Hater's mind about wiggling his feet. In fact they were kicking as best they could in their boxy prison. The watchdogs in the audience clapped, Sylvia was laughing and hooting for more.
"Hold your applause, please! The trick ain't over yet." Wander instructed the crowd. He was in the process of pushing the two ends back together, when both pieces of the box exploded with a bright flash of green light, colorful wooden debris showering the stage. Wander shielded his face from the flying splinters.
"ENOUGH!" Hater shouted, now free of the box, standing on the stage, and none too pleased. He looked down at himself and smirked.
"Oh, would you look at that!" He said, tone sarcastic. "It was all a fake! I'm fine!"
The skeletal overlord jumped up and down on the stage to show he was still in one piece, but the top half of him just wouldn't cooperate, lifting apart with every jump. The audience gasped in mild horror. One watchdog threw up. Hater looked at himself in horror, too, and then whipped around to glower at the magician.
"FIX THIS!"
"Now now, Hater, don't you worry. We'll getcha all fixed up, you'll see!"
Wander sat his top hat on the ground, as he reached in and started pulling something out. At first it looked like the nomad was about to attempt at doing another scarf trick, when instead he tugged and pulled until a large green blanket was in his hands. As quick as he could, Wander ran towards Hater as he started going around him in circles- wrapping up the skeleton. Hater squirmed and scream, as he yet again became Wander's prisoner. But around and around Wander went, until Hater resembled more like a burrito than a skeleton.
The fuzzy mop of a magician gave a reassuring smile, as he lightly patted the blanket cocoon.
"There, all nice n' snug like a bug in a rug!" A pause as he turned towards the audience. " Now, folks, this is where I need your help. That is, if ya'll don't mind. Healing is one part magic, yes, but it's also lots and lots of love. I'd like for ya'll to send Hater's way the happiest of thoughts, and shout out his name, as I wave my hands and transfer it to him. Sound good?"
Wander didn't wait for a reply as he cheered.
"Woo! Alrighty then. Ready… Set… Start sending that love!"
The audience fell silent. Peepers and Sylvia stared at the two of them, arms crossed stubbornly. A watchdog in the back coughed. Hater glared out into the audience, and with an unhappy growl, he instantly prompted the watchdogs, Peepers included this time, to start shouting and hollering, and calling his name.
"Wooo, alright! We love ya, man!" one called out.
"In a completely platonic manner!" added another.
"Yeah, totally!" called a third.
Wander grinned, and gave the small crowd a double thumbs up, and then took hold of a corner of the blanket that encompassed Hater.
"Alright, great job! Time t'witness the healin' power of love!" he called back to the audience, cheerfully. With one hard yank, the blanket was unravelled, sending Hater spinning rapidly across the stage. The skeleton eventually tripped over his own feet, as he fell face first.
Hater lifted his head, as the spinning room began to settle. He sat up into a sitting position, when the overlord looked down at his body. His robe was now attached- as if it had never been sawed through at all. Hater's hands wildly felt up his spine where he had been cut, and he gaped over at Wander, who was making his way towards him.
"I'm… I'm fine?"
"Don't I know it," Wander sighed dreamily, before turning back to the crowd. "Now how 'bout a round of applause for the birthday boy? Didn't he do great? YEAH!"
The crowd hooped and hollered as the fuzzy magician helped Hater to his feet, and then walked him off stage. After escorting the skeleton to his seat- Hater still a little dizzy and lightheaded from the ordeal, making it feel more like a strange dream than anything else- Wander dug into his cape and pulled out a bouquet of colorful flowers and handed it to him. As he did so, the nomad leaned in to whisper to him- his intoxicatingly warm breath close to the overlord's face.
"Thank you for your help, Hater. It means the world t'me t'have ya participate n' have some fun."
Wander pulled away and winked at him- the overlord not knowing how to feel about all of this. Holding the flowers, Hater sunk in his chair as the magician made his way back on stage. Still feeling warm in the face, Hater couldn't even look at anyone as he just stared at the roses in his gloved hands instead. He couldn't even stop the small smile that crossed his face as he smelled them.
Hater, however, completely missed the disturbed look his second in command was giving him. Peepers reluctantly returned his attention back to the stage, when Wander spoke up again.
"For my next, and final trick this evening - Sylvia, if you wouldn't mind." Another box, this one taller than it was wide, was wheeled onto the stage, and another lowered from the tall ceiling from a heavy metal chain, until it hung four feet from the floor. "Thaaank you!"
"Oh, great, more boxes." Commander Peepers mumbled. "How original, how does he do it."
"Today only, watch as I, a humble magician-slash-traveller of the stars, performs for you lovely folks, an exciting, heart-pounding, death defying stunt of unimaginable awesomeness!" Wander exclaimed, his voice raising louder with every word, until he was screaming by the end of it. It was obvious at least he was pumped for it, and most of the audience couldn't help but get caught up in his enthusiasm.
"I will climb into this box," He pointed to the crate suspended from the ceiling. "My hands will be handcuffed outside of the box, through these two holes here. I will have one minute, count it! One minute, t'pick the locks on my cuffs, the lock on the lid of the box, and escape, b'fore the bottom drops out, and I fall-" Wander dug deep in his cape, and pulled out a small bed of very sharp, very real spikes, and dropped it onto the stage under the box. It landed with a heavy clunk. "Onto these very uncomfortable bed of spikes!"
Hater gaped at the stage. "WHAT!"
Commander Peepers was grinning. "Well it's about time this show picked up! This ought to be good."
Hater watched on, as Sylvia helped Wander into the smaller box. Sticking his furry orange mitts through the holes, the zbornak assistant placed a pair of handcuffs around his wrists. The skeleton could see the nomad hiss some, no doubt from the restraints being really tight. Once he was secured, Sylvia then placed a lid on top of the box- stowing away the magician as she locked him inside with two heavy-duty padlocks.
Suddenly, coming from the ceiling, was a large monitor. On it flashed sixty seconds. The assistant smirked smugly, before turning to the audience and shouting.
"Alright, start the clock!"
A flash erupted from the screen, as the timer began counting down.
Sixty… fifty-nine…
Every second a loud beeping and clattering noise followed. Hater felt his grip around the flowers tighten, as his eyes were fixated on the arms outside the box. He could see Wander had something in his hands, no doubt a bobby pin as he attempted to use it to unlock the handcuffs. The skeletal overlord, however, found himself begin to sweat as the clock continued to count down, and still Wander was not free.
Thirty-five… Thirty-four…
What was taking him so long?! Hater's breath hitched in his throat, as finally the nomad freed one of his hands. Oh, good, now he was getting somewhere- but he still only had thirty seconds left before he crashed and impaled himself on the sharp spikes below!
Hater watched the lid of the crate intently, hardly even sitting in his seat anymore. The flowers in his hand were all but crushed by that point. The counter continued to count down, and the lid didn't even rattle.
Twenty-five, twenty-four, twenty-three...
"Come on, come on..." Hater mumbled.
Nineteen, eighteen, seventeen, sixteen, fifteen, fourteen...
"Hurry up..."
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six...
"WANDER! GET OUT OF THERE!" Hater screamed, shooting up and knocking over his chair. Peepers was struggling between keeping his eyes glued to the stage (he wouldn't want to miss Wander's gruesome demise, after all), and being seriously worried for his boss. What was with him?
Five, four, three...
"NOO!" The overlord took off like a shot, leaped up onto the stage, the sound of the crate bottom swinging open just as he got there sending a bolt of fear and dread throughout him.
The room filled with a collective gasp, and then fell silent. The crate swung on its chain. Nothing had fallen out. The box was empty. Hater and the audience all cried out in alarm, as fireworks went off towards the side and over by the other box. With a flash, the red curtain in front of the box was pulled back as Wander hopped out of it.
"Ta-da! Right as rain!"
The watchdogs in the audience clapped and cheered. All of them except the commander stood on their seats as they whistled and applauded. The overlord on stage, however, merely gawked. He was… Wander was okay? He looked between one box to the other, not even seeing how such a thing was possible. The skeleton then stared at the spikes, as he pictured just what COULD have happened. It sent a shiver down his spine, making him sick as he connected it to when Wander had actually died just a couple months before. That vile sick feeling turned into rage as Hater sunk in what happened.
He had been tricked. He had been cruelly manipulated. All for a stupid magic act!
Hater growled as he spun around, stomping towards the nomad.
"You…. How DARE you!"
Years of habit propelled Wander backwards a couple steps as the overlord bared down on him. He looked up at Hater, sporting an apologetic grin.
"Aw, Hater, I'm alright! It's just a silly trick! The ol' smoke an' mirrors routine, y'know?"
"Well it isn't just a stupid trick to me!" Hater wailed. Wander was shocked and heartbroken to hear the tremble in his voice. Was he about to cry? Oh no...
"Hater, I-"
"It's like I was living that moment all over again! Don't you think I relive that moment every night in my nightmares! You- you aren't allowed to leave again! I FORBID IT! DO YOU HEAR ME!"
The fuzzy magician was scooped up and held tight, and for anyone watching, it was hard to tell if it was an embrace, or if the nomad was just being used as a furry tissue. Wander rubbed the sobbing skeleton's back, murmuring softly to him, looking himself like he was on the verge of tears.
Commander Peepers stared, stunned into silence. What was this? Hater had been acting strange, sure, but this topped it all. He glanced over at Sylvia, and the smug grin he was expecting wasn't there. The zbornak watched the same scene he was, and she looked pained, regretful. It was then that Peepers suddenly realized there was something going on, and he was the only one who had been left out of the joke.
He glared at the hairy nuisance hugging Lord Hater, future ruler of the universe. He'd done something, something horrible to his boss, and he was going to find out what.
"I'm going to get to the bottom of this, even if it kills me." The commander mumbled to himself. "And when I do, Wander won't escape his demise a third time."