Chapter 4 - Alternate Uses for a Screwdriver

Daisy was still a little dazed by the man who had just left the Boar's Nest after some kind of a closed door discussion with Boss and Rosco. He was really cute, in his own way. All tough on the outside, but with such a charming smile, that she couldn't help but think he'd be really sweet inside, if only she could get to know him.

The ringing of the payphone snapped her back to reality.

"Boar's Nest, Daisy Duke speakin'."

"Daisy, it's me. I don't want you to go worryin' too much, but I'm at Tri-County General with Bo. He's got a head injury, but the doc thinks he'll be okay."

"I'll be right there, Uncle Jesse."

"No, girl, you won't. I need you to do something else."

"But if Bo is hurt…"

"Now Daisy, Bo ain't the only one in trouble. I need you to take care of Luke."

"You mean Luke's not with you?" Daisy could not remember a time when one of the boys had been hurt and the other hadn't been right there by his side, doing everything in his power to help. Luke must be injured, too.

"No, I made him stay behind. Rosco's got some serious charges layin' against them boys this time, an' I couldn't let him come along and take a chance on him gettin' arrested. I need you to go home and tell him that Bo's gonna be all right, you hear?"

"Why can't we just call him? Then I could come there…"

"Sweetheart," Jesse interrupted as gently as his worry would allow, "I need you to go to him. He's gonna want to come here, you know that. I need you to talk to him, remind him that him gettin' caught won't do Bo no good. You understand?"

"Yes, sir," Daisy reluctantly agreed. She wanted to go to the cousin that was hurt, not the one that was worried. But she would do as her uncle asked.

Jesse understood Daisy's hesitation. He'd raised the kids in his care to have a fierce loyalty to one another. It hadn't been easy, considering that they'd come to him from three different families, each heartbroken over their losses. Not one of them had an easy childhood, each having buried their own parents before they'd even seen the inside of a school. For the most part, though, instead of letting it eat at them, they'd found the love of family in each other, and for that he was grateful. Not only had it kept them happier than they would otherwise have been, it had made them a team. Back when they were running 'shine, that teamwork had been necessary to keep ahead of the law. And now that they were out of the business, they still had to rely on one another completely. Now that Rosco Coltrane had sold his soul to one J. D. Hogg, Duke hunting season was a twelve month affair.

"Thank you, Daisy-girl. An' do it on your break, you hear me? You can't go leavin' work early for this or J. D. and Rosco'll know something's up. When you get there, you make sure that Luke stays put and lays low, you hear me?"

"Yes, sir."

Once he'd hung up the payphone, Jesse hurried back to his youngest. Though he hadn't lied to his niece, the older man hadn't told her everything. The doctor did think that Bo would be all right – once he regained consciousness, and he still hadn't.

That dumb sheriff had broken another one of his good pens, fidgeting the way he did. And, as he was wont to do, his brother-in-law had just left the poor, abused writing implement right in the middle of the commissioner's oversized desk. He was not even smart enough to hide the evidence. If Hogg didn't need a dirty lawman, he would have tossed Rosco out on his ear long ago, never mind the wrath of Lulu. His wife could run him over like a freight train and it would still be less painful than dealing with her idiot younger brother.

But if Rosco was gone, there'd be a newly elected sheriff, and whoever it was wouldn't be as easy to use as Rosco. And, worst case scenario, it would wind up being that ridiculously honest deputy, Enos, and Hogg would have to shut down all operations. Strate might not be smart, but he was like a squirrel at the birdfeeder – he wouldn't give up until he either had the seed or it was spread all over the ground. Either way, if Enos got a promotion, the commissioner would be on the losing end.

His sheriff wasn't the only thing annoying J. D. Hogg. He'd been trying to reach Jim Halloway for a couple of hours now. Whatever it was that the Duke boys had been hauling, it wasn't earning him any interest sitting in the county courthouse. And if it stayed there too long, Inspector Willet would find it. While he waited for Halloway to return to the only place Boss knew how to reach him, the fat man decided that he'd have to risk moving the goods. Or better yet, he'd make Rosco do it.

"Rosco!"

"Gijit!" The sheriff had no sooner gotten back to his demolished speed limit sign than his CB squawked again. One of these days he was going to shoot that annoying piece of electronics. Knowing the tightwad county commissioner, the stupid thing would never be replaced. And while it meant he wouldn't be able to menace Enos through the machine, at least it would put an end to this kind of frustrating interruption.

"This is Rosco Coltrane."

"Sheriff, I've got a very important job for you. You come see me."

"10-4," Rosco answered, then removed his thumb from the send button before muttering, "Ya fat meadowmuffin. One of these days you're gonna call and I'm not gonna come, you'll see." The words were barely out of his mouth when the sheriff hopped into his car and headed to town.

Luke wanted immediate resolution; every delay was wearing on his patience. After taking care of as much as he could by way of farm chores, and going the longer route of hidden off-road detours, he'd finally gotten to the building that served as Dr. Wooster's home and clinic, to find the vet was gone. Logically, Luke knew that the doctor made a lot of house calls, and that he could be anywhere. He wanted to go farm to farm looking for him, but realized the futility.

He sat on the porch steps in front of the office and tried to come up with an alternate plan. It might be hours before the vet came back, and Luke didn't want to wait that long. He needed answers before he could clear himself and his cousin, and unless he could put an end to being on the lam, he would be separated from Bo for a long time indeed. Narcotics charges would put his younger cousin behind bars for a good many years.

Having a lot of time to sit still had never been a good situation for Luke Duke. He was better at it than Bo, but not much, for even his more disciplined mind would begin to wander, given enough time. Unbidden, a childhood memory came to Jesse's eldest charge.

Five-year-old Bo had never heard the word "orphan" before, much less applied to himself. Luke had known for a long time that that's what he and Bo were, and now Daisy was too, though he'd never said the word to his little cousin. But on that particular day, when the tow-headed boy had met Luke during school lunch hour, there was no bounce in his step and no gleam in his eye at the prospect of an hour of freedom before the whole school would return to classes.

"Bo?" Luke prompted. He knew he didn't have to say even that much. The boy would come out with it as soon as he knew his cousin was listening.

"What's an orphan, Lukas?"

The older boy sighed. Bo was already upset, that much was apparent by the way he'd used Luke's full name. There was no point in sugar coating it anyway. The younger boy did not like to be patronized, and if he thought someone was holding something back from him, his temper would flare.

"Well, it's someone whose parents died – like ours did." Luke preferred not to talk about the subject, but seeing his normally cheerful cousin so unhappy and asking for answers, he made the exception. He'd talk about it as long as Bo wanted to.

"Oh, so we are orphans then."

"Yeah…we are." Luke was old enough, back when it happened, to have understood the adults talking about the poor little boys who would never know the love of a mother or father, not since their parents had been killed in that horrible accident. Forgetting that the small, dark haired boy was even there, his extended family had talked about the details of the crash: how a truck had suddenly emerged over the crest of the mountain, on the wrong side of the road. Bo's father had swerved to avoid the larger vehicle, but there was no chance. The car clipped the 18-wheeler, and both automobiles rolled into the ditch. The truck had instantly exploded, killing everyone.

That story had made Luke angry when he was not yet five, and eavesdropping on the discussion as to who would care for the poor orphaned boys. Being reminded of that now, and seeing a mirror of his childhood sadness in his cousin's darker eyes, Luke became livid.

"Who told you that you was an orphan, Bo?"

The silent child pointed across the schoolyard at one of the larger boys in the school, then immediately regretted having done so, as Luke took off at high speed and tackled Ernie Ledbetter. The fight was quick and dirty. The noise of the two boys screaming at one another, along with the calls of the other kids, brought teachers and administrators on the run. Before he knew what had happened, Bo saw his older cousin being dragged towards the building by the principal. Ernie was also led away by one of the brawnier teachers.

Bo and Luke didn't see each other again until that night. The older boy was silent, not talking to anyone. He was also not sitting, an indication that Uncle Jesse had whipped him good. While the family ate and talked at the kitchen table, Luke stood at the mantel and poked at his food in silence. His eyes still smoldered. The nine-year old was angry at the world.

Coming out of his memories, Luke almost laughed at his childhood self. He'd had such a temper then, feeling like he'd been cheated out of his true family and his rightful home. Sometimes he'd given his uncle more than his share of grief, without even really knowing why he did it.

It wasn't until his service in the Marines, years later and far away from the farm, that he'd finally exhausted his anger in the effort simply to keep himself alive. One desperately lonely and terribly frightening night, he'd finally realized just how lucky he was to have the adoptive family that he did. For as miserable as he'd tried to make himself as a child, they'd always been there to make him feel loved, smart, and important. And the one who'd done it the best was Bo.

There was no way in hell his little cousin was going to jail. Not if Luke could stop it from happening.

Hotwiring cars was almost second nature to the Duke boys. Luke found himself suddenly wondering why he and Bo had never perfected the art of picking locks, but really, there had never been a need. From time to time they'd had to start a car without a key, but almost nothing in Hazzard was ever locked up. No one owned anything worth keeping safe, and if even they did, they probably would have shared willingly anyway. The exception, of course, was J. D. Hogg, but the boys had not really had cause to break into anything of his, preferring instead to trick the commissioner into unlocking his own doors, vaults and safes. This was different, though. Luke's need was too urgent to wait for the vet to turn up on his own and he wasn't patient enough to trick anyone. All of his brain power was focused on getting the information that he assumed would be in Dr. Wooster's office; the key to making sure Bo didn't wind up behind bars.

The frustrated young man was getting close to just forcing his way into the office, but knowing that he didn't plan to stay around and fix the door once he'd broken it kept him from doing so. He had already done so many things that would disappoint his uncle; he would at least try to be responsible in his execution of the forbidden activities. Breaking and entering was certainly something he could expect to hear about later, but if he did any damage in the process, he might as well move in with the good doctor, considering the wrath that would await him at home.

And despite the fact that he was deliberately disobeying the order to stay at the farm, Luke was doing his best to follow the more important instruction, which was laying low. Once he'd decided to pick the lock, he'd taken the General a short distance away and stashed him in a culvert between two rows of bushes. Only someone with a very keen eye would spot him, and there was nothing, eyes or otherwise, that was keen about old Rosco. Luke ought to be safe. It was Bo that was in danger.

Finally, when the screwdriver he'd brought from the General's trunk to jimmy the door managed to catch the third tumbler (and after a good many cuts and nicks to his hands), Luke found himself inside the vet's office. Ignoring the majority of the room around him for now, the Duke boy slipped the screwdriver into his back pocket, locked the door behind him, and headed for anything that looked like paperwork. Looking through a row of filing cabinets, he found surprisingly little. There didn't seem to be and real records of the animals Wooster had treated, aside from the copies of paid bills.

Deciding that now was not the time to worry about the doctor's note keeping practices, the stealthy Marine determined that desk drawers were the most likely locations for medical supply shipment records, and turned around to head that way. As he did, his sharp, blue eyes finally took in the space around him. This was not your average veterinarian's office. Luke's experience with the profession was limited, admittedly, but between common sense and the few times he'd been in such a place before, he was quite certain that some of the objects in this room did not belong here, and other things that should have been here weren't.

A second too late, the older cousin realized that Bo really was in danger, but not quite as much trouble as Luke was.