In These Dying Hours

Chapter Four

He was having a dreamless sleep. A lovely, dreamless sleep which he rarely got anymore. And as he woke up, he found himself groaning at the light that filtered in through his eyes. He groaned softly, throwing his arms over his eyes, before he stopped. The light... didn't give him a headache. He pulled his arms away, opening his golden eyes, peering up through the window to his right. He actually felt a lot better. He could look at the light without it giving him a skull-splitting headache. His nausea had gone away as well.

Slowly, Goku began to sit up, feeling like he did every morning. Drowsy, but otherwise completely fine. His eyes then snapped to his left as something stirred. His heart almost melted. Seated in the chair beside him was Sanzo. The monk's arms were crossed and his head was dropping slightly, proving he was asleep. Goku couldn't help but let a small smile catch his lips, as he leaned in to get a better look at the monk. His violet eyes were close, and his face was completely relaxed. He seemed so at peace, Goku decided that he liked the monk this way.

Daringly, he leaned forwards, brushing the monk's bangs from his eyes. Goku surveyed his sun with wide eyes, just soaking in every feature he couldn't make out from afar. "If only..." Goku thought longingly. "If only you let me get this close to you when you're awake." He leaned forwards, going in for the one thing he could only dream about. His lips were only millimeters from the monk's. Goku could feel the monk's hot breath on his lips. His heart was thundering against his ribcage. All he had to do... was... lean a bit...closer...

The monk stirred, and Goku pulled back immediately, gasping for breath, and trying to slow his heart rate. He'd never been that close to the man before. He couldn't believe he'd almost kissed him. Still, Goku couldn't risk going in again, for fear of having the monk wake up in the middle of the one-sided kiss. The last thing he wanted to do was explain why he was kissing the monk. So, Goku pulled away from the sleeping man, and got changed, before heading down for breakfast. His stomach was growling at him anyway.

---

Sanzo cracked his eyes open as the door behind him closed. How long had he been awake? He'd awoken to a hand brushing through his hair. At first, he thought it was an attacker, but immediately relaxed when he realized it was Goku. He didn't open his eyes, but instead let the monkey study his "sleeping form."

He didn't realize how startled he became as the monkey leaned in closer to him. He could feel the boy's nervous breath on his lips, when he stopped. Sanzo could only sit there as the monkey paused, possibly studying his face further.

Sanzo knew what the boy had in mind. He was going to kiss him. Yet he didn't open his eyes, didn't smack the monkey away. Instead, he stayed absolutely still, trying to give the young man the impression he was sleeping. Goku leaned in even closer, and was only millimeters from his lips. Sanzo couldn't take it anymore! He wanted to kick the monkey into hurrying up. In his desire to close the distance between them, his muscles gave an involuntary twitch, leaning towards the monkey slightly.

He realized his mistake as Goku pulled back immediately, gasping for needed air. He assumed the monkey's heart was pounding. He hated to admit it, but he could feel his own heart thundering in his chest. He felt the monkey slide from the bed, get changed and then leave him.

His hand fell to his heart, gripping the soft material of his black shirt. Why was he so worked up about this? That Goku nearly kissed him. He wasn't, he finally decided. He was just annoyed. Annoyed to realize last night, Goku had really spoke his mind. The monkey did love him. So what now? What was he supposed to do now that he knew? Sweep the monkey into his arms, and proclaim they could live together forever. Not likely. Sanzo didn't even think he was capable of love, and if he was, there was no way he would allow himself to feel like that. He had to distance himself from people. Lest history decide to repeat itself.

Sanzo closed his eyes to suppress his guilt. Koumyou Sanzo had died to protect him. His master. His father. The only person who Sanzo had ever allowed himself to get close to had been ripped from his grasp in one fell swoop. He couldn't allow that to happen to Goku. The young man had already dove to protect him on several occasions, taking hits for him that had actually knocked the monkey out of their battles for the next few days, no matter how much the monkey protested. Goku was already trying to protect him far more then Sanzo liked. He feared should he let this annoying little brat into his heart, it would only get worse. Then he would take a hit for Sanzo he would not wake up from.

Sanzo grumbled at where his train of thought was leading him, and stood. He grabbed his pack of cigarettes, and headed for the door.

He arrived downstairs to find thing unfolding as they did every morning. Enough food for a small army was spread out over the breakfast table. Hakkai, Goku and Gojyo were all seated around it. Said kappa and monkey were fighting over some sort of rice cake. Sanzo sighed, taking a seat at the table, and muttering something about being associated with idiots. Hakkai turned to him, smiling, and greeting him as he did every morning. "Hm," Sanzo growled, as he grabbed the newspaper, unfolding it and scanning the first page. "I don't see what's so good about it."

Hakkai smiled, and began pouring the blonde some coffee. "Well, Goku's recovered. Wouldn't that classify as something good?"

Sanzo glanced up at Goku as Hakkai spoke. The monkey was presently gnawing on Gojyo's hand, trying to get him to relinquish the plate of meat buns. "Whatever," he mumbled, before diving into his coffee. "As long as we can start heading west again."

Hakkai smiled knowingly.

It was going to be another lovely day.

---

Goku was really starting to worry.

At first, he didn't think much over the fact that he'd been sick. He just waved it off, his mind only really focusing on Food and Sanzo. But as he sat in the jeep, speeding across the countryside, he found that was all his mind would focus on. Sanzo was reading the newspaper, and Gojyo was asleep. There was nothing to distract him from his thoughts. And the more he thought, the more it scared him.

He replayed the weird dream with the two girls over and over in his head. Didn't they say something about this? That he would get sick. It was supposed to "clean the human toxins from his body," what the hell did that mean? It was just a coincidence, he tried to convince himself, but for some reason his mind would not accept that.

It couldn't be a coincidence. He never got sick. He didn't even get so much as a head cold. But he had been really sick. He couldn't even think straight. All he could remember from the past few days were swirling emotions and images running through his head. He couldn't focus on any of them. He also remembered hearing Sanzo's voice several times, but could never remember what had been said.

So what now? Was he going to lose the ability to sleep? Eat? Was it all true? Goku forced himself to calm. If he began to lose the ability to sleep, then it would be a cause of alarm. But for now, all he could do was brush it off as a coincidence, and get on with his life.

"Goku! Go get us some firewood."

Goku scowled at Gojyo, as the older man settled down for another cigarette. They stopped in a clearing for the night, the next town too far away. Besides that, Hakuryu was exhausted, and refused to go any further that night. Goku scowled, shoving his hands in his pockets. "You go get it, it's not like you're doing anything."

"Neither are you, monkey boy, now get moving."

Goku grumbled, but a quick glare from Sanzo told him he wasn't going to be able to just dump the job on someone else. Grumbling, the boy turned on his heel to grab some firewood. He wandered out through the soggy grounds, trying to find any piece of firewood that was still dry. It seemed as though it had rained earlier, and Goku was glad they had missed it. The last thing he wanted to do was deal with a cranky Sanzo and Hakkai.

"Though... last time wasn't so bad," he thought, before shaking it away with a blush.

He grabbed several pieces of wood, deciding that this should be enough. Besides, everything else was dripping wet. He wasn't an idiot, and knew it would never light. But as he turned to head back towards camp, a soft sound caught his sensitive ears. Turning curiously, he tried to figure out what it was. Forgetting all about the firewood, Goku found himself wandering in the direction of the sound. It was soft, and soothing. It didn't take him long to figure out someone was playing a flute.

He began to follow the sweet sounds, finding it was lulling him into a soft, dream-like state. He tripped over roots, brushing branches out of his way. The sun had almost completely set, and he was finding it more and more difficult to see. He stopped suddenly when the sound stopped. The sun had completely gone down, shutting the world off into darkness. Goku glanced around, his mind only bent on finding the source of the sound.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard a woman's voice.

"In these Dying hours,

The raven sleeps..."

Her voice was so soft, so soothing. He was almost lulled into sleep because of her singing. It was then her song was abruptly cut short, replaced by screeching in his ears. It was like someone was scarping nails across a chalkboard in his head. Goku clutched his hands to his ears, dropping to his knees. He couldn't help but scream, trying to drone the sound out of his head. No matter how long he screamed, it wouldn't go away. That incessant screeching wouldn't leave his mind.

"Goku!"

He forced his golden eyes open, coming face to face with violet eyes which he had fallen in love with. Sanzo was shaking him, and yelling something, though his could barely hear his voice over the screeching in his ears. "Stop it Sanzo!" he cried, hot tears pouring over his eyes and streaming down his face. "Stop the noise!"

Sanzo pulled him in close, wrapping his arms around the younger man and holding hm tightly. Goku forced himself not to scream, as his fingernails began to dig into his scalp. Goku knew that any second, his skull would split from the pressure. Finally, the screeching stopped. It was so abrupt, Goku for a minute had no idea what had happened. He let Sanzo support him, as he gasped for air. He didn't even let his mind wander on what had happened. He was only glad that it was over, and knew that Sanzo's presence had something to do with it.

"What the hell happened?" he heard Sanzo ask him softly.

Goku did not reply at first, simply letting himself enjoy the comfort Sanzo was offering him. "I.. I don't know," Goku croaked out weakly, tears starting to slow before they stopped all together. "I heard a flute... and a woman. And then... the screeching in my head. It hurt... it hurt so bad, Sanzo," he turned his face to the monk's chest, burying his face in his warmth, baling material up in his hands. He didn't want to let the older man go. Goku felt like if he let him go, even for a second, the screaming would return.

Sanzo said nothing, but merely scooped the youth up in his arms. Goku kept close to the man, not feeling the desire to snap at Sanzo, complaining that he could walk like he normally would have. Actually, he wasn't even sure he could walk on his own. The screeching sucked out most of his energy, leaving him nothing more then a limp doll in Sanzo's arms.

He wasn't sure when they got back to camp. He must've been slipping to and from consciousness as they walked. Though he did remember being placed on the uncomfortable bedroll that he'd been sleeping on for more then a year. He wasn't sure how he knew, but he could feel Sanzo's presence leaving him. All alone. Goku was far too frightened to be left alone. His hand reached out, snatching the sleeve of Sanzo's robe. He cracked his eyes open, finding the monk staring at him expectantly. "D... don't leave me.."

He heard Sanzo snort. "You've got to learn to sleep by yourself for once, you know," despite his words, the monk took a seat on the edge of the bed. Goku relaxed, closing his eyes, but not relinquishing his hold on Sanzo's robe.

"Sanzo?"

"Mm?"

Goku hesitated a bit, feeling darkness calling him. "Thanks..." and then he slipped into sweet slumber.

A/N: Yeah... feel free to say "WTF?" for the ending of this chapter. It'll make more sense later. Though not for another... five or six chapters. Sorry. But thanks for rea ding anyway and I hoped you enjoyed.