Chapter 4

I spend too much time explainin' myself
I hope there's some time to change it

––––––––

Ferid entered the club and greeted one of the bodyguards. He knew this place because he visited it often.

He left his coat in the coatroom, and now he was only wearing a scarlet shirt and a skinny, black jeans.

He started walking towards the bar, and then he spotted Crowley. He was sitting there, looking hot as always, and waved his hand when he saw Ferid. Ferid smiled and went to him.

"Just on time," Crowley said, and Ferid laughed when he sat near him.

"Well, look at you, waiting for me on the Saturday evening. I was surprised when you asked me out."

Ferid ordered his favorite drink. Crowley was already drinking something.

"Surprised? Why? You looked pretty confident when you gave me your number."

Ferid laughed again and took a sip of his drink.

"It was a risky move, but I like risky things~."

Crowley looked at him with amusement.

"Oh, I already saw that." Ferid laughed at that. "You thought that I didn't go out with the same sex?"

"Well, I wasn't 100% sure, but I wouldn't know if I didn't take the risk and ask~."

Ferid looked at him seductively.

"If that still concerns you – I'm bi," said Crowley.

"Oh, so I was right, you like to try different things~."

Ferid wasn't scared that Crowley might not be interested in him because he saw the way he looked at him. He knew that look.

"And what about you?"

"Me? Well, let's say I tried it once with a woman, but she was the only one who enjoyed that. I realized that it wasn't my thing."

Ferid even couldn't remember her face. It was so long ago, probably right after his graduation. And he was drunk.

"Anyway, we met here to get to know more about each other. So, I know your name, orientation, job, but tell me, why policeman? Family tradition or was it your dream since you were a kid?"

Crowley smiled and then he took a sip of his drink to arrange his thoughts.

"Well, I didn't know who I wanted to become in the future when I was young. I was just living my life." He was silent for a moment and then he continued. "I get bored easily. I'm just a guy looking for some adventures and one day my dad suggested to me, that I should work as a policeman or a firefighter. I started thinking about it more and I got really interested in this topic. I was always athletic, so I knew that I wouldn't have problems with this job. Studying was hard but I managed to pass all my exams."

He took a sip again and Ferid looked at him interested.

"So, I assume you aren't bored on your duty?"

Crowley smiled again.

"Well, there are days when it's pretty boring but some days I can't even sit for five minutes. I like my job." He looked at the dancing people. "It's just…I wish my dad would see this. He passed away before I graduated."

"Oh…I'm sorry to hear that."

Ferid felt uncomfortable. He really didn't like conversations like that. Especially about family.

"Stop it, I won't cry. We're on a date. Besides, it was long time ago and I learned to live without him."

Ferid looked at his drink and Crowley's attention was back at the lilac haired man. He wasn't sure why, but he saw sadness in Ferid's eyes. He didn't know what caused this. The talk about family?

Maybe Ferid had problems with his parents?

But it was only a moment because Ferid finished his drink and smiled again.

"Well, I'm glad, because I'm not an expert in comforting people."

Crowley laughed. The mood was good again.

"You didn't surprise me with that. I talked about myself, now it's your turn. Why bookshop?"

Ferid thought for a moment. He played with his hair.

"Because books didn't talk shitty things." They both smiled and Ferid continued. "I always loved reading. I like to learn new things because I'm curious. And I like to try different things."

"You didn't try to work at a library? It's always silent there."

"Well, I tried but they didn't like that I was reading at work and the silence you mentioned was sometimes irritating. Especially when I tried to tell people that the book they wanted wasn't a good choice."

Crowley laughed and shook his head.

"Oh, this sounds really like you. I can even imagine their faces."

"Oh, stop it! Besides, the salary wasn't good enough for me to pay all my bills and to buy new books, so I changed my job. I found Krul's bookshop. The salary was okay, and she doesn't mind my reading habit because it helps with selling books."

"So you really are a book nerd?"

Ferid smiled at him.

"Yes~! I love them! But the best thing about working in a bookshop is probably customers. I really like to talk with them, especially if they are open minded and don't mind the criticism."

"So, you just like to share your thoughts?"

"Exactly!"

Ferid ordered another drink for them and Crowley looked at him. Crowley still considered Ferid a mystery. He was playful and charming, but there was something in his eyes. The sadness, the mystery. He didn't show it often, he witnessed it only twice.

First when they were talking in Crowley's car and second now, after their talk.

Crowley was looking for an adventure and he knew that with Ferid he wouldn't be bored. He was funny and he felt that this wasn't their first and last date. But his appearance and personality weren't the only things that attracted Crowley.

It was his strange opinion about relationships. Crowley really wanted to know what happened to him that changed his thoughts.

Also Crowley had a feeling that Ferid's smile was usually a fake one.

He didn't know whether he will be the person who will help him, but at least he wanted to try.

––––––––

Guren opened the door. He has just finished his meeting with Goshi and Mito. Even Shigure, one of his friends, was with them. They were drinking and talking about their college life. Typical Saturday meeting after their exhausting week at school.

He was supposed to come with Shinya, but Shinya refused yesterday, because he said that he was still writing.

"I nearly finished this Guren, I can't stop writing now!"

And then he closed his door. Guren didn't even know whether he's slept a minute during the night.

Shinya was still writing in the morning, and when Guren cooked a dinner, he only took a plate to his room. He didn't know if Shinya ate it and knowing this idiot, he probably didn't.

But Guren didn't have the time to think about this because he had to do his work, and then he had a meeting with his friends.

It was a typical Saturday night. Goshi was talking crap like always and the fact that he was drunk didn't help.

Mito, like always, started complaining that she was alone and she would be an old lady with the cat in the future. Guren only told her to look around because he was pretty sure that Goshi had a little crush on her, but he kept that for himself.

"It's easy to talk like that. You're young and handsome, why are you still alone? Forget that bitch Mahiru."

Mito's words were still fresh in his mind. He wasn't angry but her words hurt a little.

Everyone stopped talking and they looked angry at Mito. She only blushed when she realized what she said. Mito apologized but Guren only nodded and said that he didn't mind."

"Oh, Mito! Stop talking rude things, he's not alone! He has Shinya!"

And then Goshi said this. He loved teasing Guren about his friendship with Shinya, and the fact that they were living together wasn't helpful.

"Stop talking crap like that, you're just jealous that you aren't my only friend."

"Eh? You're hurting my feelings Guren!"

They went back to drinking and the mood was playful again. Sometimes he really wanted to kill Goshi for his stupid talk.

"Shinya?"

There was no sound. It was nearly 1 AM so it was late, but that idiot was probably still awake and writing.

Guren left his coat and shoes in the wardrobe and then knocked on Shinya's door. Still no sound.

He sighed and decided, after a moment, to open the door.

It was dark inside, only a small light from the lamp on Shinya's desk illuminated the room. The laptop had a black screen but it was still working.

And that idiot was sleeping on the desk.

Guren only heard the sound of the laptop and Shinya's peaceful breathing.

He sighed again and went to his desk. He moved a mouse and he saw the open document. He saved it and then he turned the laptop off. Shinya didn't even move during this action. Guren looked at him.

Shinya will be probably feeling like crap next day because of this position, but Guren didn't have the heart to wake him up. He probably hasn't slept much these days because of his book, and when Shinya will finally wake up, he will be probably ask Guren about his meeting with Goshi and others.

So Guren took a fluffy blanket from Shinya's bed and put it around him. Shinya only sighed in his dream, but he didn't wake up.

Guren sighed in relief. He looked again at his friend. His hair was messy because he had a habit of running his fingers through them when he was thinking hard or writing, and his mouth was slightly open.

Guren wanted to brush away hair from Shinya's face.

So that idiot can be cute, he thought.

Wait.

What?

Guren quickly took away his hand and shook his head.

He was probably sleepy and tired because he had stupid thoughts like that.

He turned off the lamp and then he closed the door. He went to the bathroom to take a shower and wash all these stupid thoughts away.

––––––––

The more Ferid was talking with Crowley, the better the mood was.

Crowley told him more about himself, like where he was living (it wasn't very far from Ferid), what he was usually doing during his patrols, what he liked to eat, or what kind of music he was listening to.

Everything was new to Ferid because, usually, when he went to a club to meet someone, he was just flirting. He wasn't talking about himself much, especially not about his private life, and he wasn't interested in the other person's life.

But with Crowley it was different. Of course, he was flirting with him, but he was listening to him patiently and he really was interested in the things he said.

Ferid even talked about his life - like some stories from his workplace, or his arguments with Chess. They even talked about René and Lacus, because Crowley was working with Lacus from time to time.

"He's really different from his boyfriend, because like you said, René is quiet, but Lacus talks a lot, so his boyfriend must have a lot of patience," Crowley joked and Ferid laughed again.

Their date was really pleasant but Ferid wanted to take some action. They finished their drinks and the music changed.

"Oh! I like this song, let's dance~!"

He stood up but Crowley looked at him with doubt.

"But I can't-"

"No excuses, let's go!"

He took his hand and then they went inside the crowd. The people were dancing on the floor and Ferid found some place for them.

"Just go with the rhythm."

Ferid looked at him seductively. He knew how to move his body. He's done this before.

They started dancing. Crowley wasn't dancing very much but Ferid was okay with this. It was his job to make a show.

He moved his hips to the rhythm of the music.

Occasionally their bodies touched because of the crowd. But of course Ferid did it on purpose. He wanted to flirt with Crowley more because, as much as he loved to talk, he still wanted to show him some affection.

Ferid didn't know how this night will end, but he still enjoyed what they were doing.

He saw lust in Crowley's eyes so he knew that his plan was working. Ferid was looking at Crowley all the time because he wanted his attention. Ferid knew that the eye contact was important.

After few minutes Crowley started touching him occasionally with one hand.

When he felt it for the first time, Ferid almost shivered, but he was still dancing. He felt hot only from his touch, so what will it be like if they started kissing. Ferid really didn't know why Crowley had that effect on him. He wasn't unfamiliar with touch but it was Crowley's touch. Everything with Crowley was different and that made things even more interesting for Ferid.

Ferid knew that his moves had the same effect on Crowley because he was looking at him all the time during their dance. Crowley's moves were slower than Ferid's, but he was more relaxed than in the beginning. Their occasional touches were a proof.

Suddenly the song changed to something slower. They were so close that Ferid felt Crowley's breath on his skin.

The atmosphere between them suddenly changed. Ferid felt hot and it wasn't because there were lots of people around them.

Ferid was still looking into Crowley's eyes. They were big and crimson, just like his own. He saw his own reflection in them and Ferid wondered what Crowley was thinking at this moment.

He looked at Crowley's lips.

Ferid wondered how they tasted. Usually he didn't think about things like that, he would just start kissing his partner, but now it was different.

He wanted to kiss him, yet something told him that it wasn't the best time for it. Still, it was so tempting.

But he didn't want to scare him. Yet he still had hope that maybe Crowley will take him now in his arms and kiss him passionately. He wouldn't mind that.

Then Crowley's face was just few inches from his own, but he didn't kiss Ferid. He only whispered to his ear. "We should go."

"Oh…yeah!"

Ferid was a little taken aback. He didn't know why Crowley's words made him so confused.

They left the dancing group and started walking towards the bar.

"Are you okay?" Crowley asked him, and Ferid sat next to him.

"Of course I am~. Why wouldn't I be? Your dancing wasn't so bad, you know?"

Crowley sighed.

"Stop it, it was my first time."

"But like you said, you like to try new things," Ferid said playfully.

"I said it was my first time, not that I didn't enjoy it."

Crowley winked at Ferid and Ferid smiled. Oh, he really enjoyed this date.

––––––––

Shinya opened his eyes. First thing he felt was his aching back.

"Gosh, it hurts so bad!"

He massaged his neck and then slowly went back to sitting position. It was dark, so he turned on his lamp.

He didn't remember when he fell asleep. Probably after he finished writing the epilogue. His book was finally finished and he couldn't wait to send the last chapter to Ferid. After this he will go to his editor. He was scared of this meeting because the editor could refuse his book. But he trusted Ferid's opinion, so he hoped that this book will be another success.

Shinya noticed that he had a blanket wrapped around his shoulders and his laptop was turned off. Weird, he didn't do that.

But then he noticed a plate with some bread and chocolate cream. There was also a small note.

'Eat something idiot'

Shinya smiled.

"Guren you can be caring sometimes."

He always called him an idiot, but Shinya knew that he didn't mean it. Maybe Guren didn't return his feelings but he still cared about him like a good friend should.

But maybe he was an idiot. Suddenly Ferid's words popped up in his head.

"You're saying things like that but you are not better. You're talking about your friend that you love very much, but I recall you didn't confess your feelings yet. And he had a girlfriend so he probably is out of your league. So what's the difference between us? You're alone too because you love a guy who will probably never love you back."

Maybe it was time to give up? He was in love with Guren since he has met him, and he still didn't have the courage to confess his feelings. He was a coward. He was scared of rejection.

But then he remembered small things like this – the blanked, their movies nights or the times when they were eating together. Deep down he hoped, that maybe one day Guren would fall for him.

But there was still Mahiru. She was still a fresh wound for Guren.

So Shinya waited, because he has already been waiting all those years, waiting few more didn't really make any difference to him right now.

"Ah, I'm really an idiot."

He looked at the clock. It was 3 AM.

He stood up but he immediately regretted his decision because he saw dark spots in his vision.

Shinya was really tired, so he just went straight to his bed without changing his clothes.

He remembered that he has a meeting tomorrow with his adopted sister Shinoa in the morning. He smiled to himself. He really enjoyed meeting with her. She was the only one who still cared about him in his fucked up family.

He quickly fell asleep when he laid down on the bed.

––––––––

Ferid was reading a book but once again, he couldn't focus on it.

His meeting with Crowley was still fresh in his mind and he couldn't think about other things. In the end they only drank more drinks, and then they went home.

No kisses, no sex.

And it was weird for Ferid.

It's not like it was impossible for him. For the whole night he couldn't help himself but think that he wanted to do it, and he felt that Crowley wouldn't mind it. Yet he felt that it was too early for this.

And that was stupid and really not his style.

He really didn't know what was wrong with him but everything concerning Crowley was weird. From their first meeting to their first date.

But he had fun and Crowley probably had a good time too, because he was still writing to Ferid.

He asked him how he slept or what was he going to do later.

It was Monday and yet Ferid was still thinking about their meeting. What the hell was wrong with him? He didn't fall in love with Crowley at first sight. Love and Ferid were two different things that didn't work well together.

"Hey, Bathory! Are you alive?! I was calling you!"

Ferid looked irritated at Chess as he closed his book.

"Of course I heard you, I just decided to ignore your irritating voice."

"WHAT?!"

He went to her. Chess was angry as always.

"So what do you want honey~?"

"Stop calling me like that! It gives me goosebumps!" He smiled to her and she only rolled her eyes. "Is your arm okay?"

"Oh! You're worried about me!"

"No, you idiot! We have new books in the back and I wanted you to put them on the bookshelves because it's end of my shift."

Ferid sighed.

"I'm okay, leave it to me and go home."

"And don't daydream or you will do more mess! Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you today? You're really in your own world." She stopped for a moment and then she smiled. "Oh, did you meet someone during the weekend then?"

Ferid looked at her and gave her one of his 'death smiles' while he crossed his arms.

"What, are you jealous because you spend all of your weekends at home. ALONE~?"

"What…you…ugh! Go die you idiot!"

And then she took her coat and left the bookshop. Ferid sighed. Now it was finally quiet.

Ferid went to the back and took a small box with the books. Then he headed towards the bookshelves with their newest books and started unpacking the box.

He wondered if 'that idiot's' book will be soon published because Shinya has finished his work.

"So, did you read the last chapter?"

Ferid heard Shiny's voice in his phone.

"Yes, I've read it."

"But you didn't tell me where we should meet…wait a second, now I see that you sent me an e-mail…WAIT! Why there are only some grammar mistakes, where are your notes about the plot?!"

Ferid only sighed.

"Think more you idiot~."

"WAIT! You liked it, right?! That's why you left it like it was! Oh my god, maybe I wrote something good!"

Ferid smiled to himself. He was glad they were talking on the phone.

"Stop talking like that, you idiot, or I will punch you next time I see you. Now I have to go to work."

"Wait, Ferid! Thank you, but I have one little request."

Oh god, don't tell me he wants to meet with me, Ferid thought.

"What is it?"

"My sister will come to your bookshop today. She wanted to buy a book and I said to her that you will give her some advice."

Oh, right. Shinya's sister was coming today. Ferid wondered if she was irritating like Shinya. Or maybe she was even worse.

"Oh, look! It's Tamahiko's new book! "

"Yes! I heard that he was almost killed here! I really want to read his new work!"

Ferid heard girls talk behind his shelf and he only rolled his eyes. That douchebag again.

"He's my favorite author! Have you seen him? He's so handsome, I wonder if he's single again."

Oh god, he hated teenagers' conversations, especially if it was girls.

"Ladies, I heard your conversation and I'm wondering, you're reading Tamahiko's books only because he's handsome or because he's a good writer?"

Another voice joined them and Ferid decided to listen to them. It was getting interesting.

"What did you say?! Of course he's a good writer! He's every time on top selling books!"

"But still, just like you said, he's a good looking guy, so most of his fangirls will buy everything he writes no matter the quality. And to prove that, as I recall, he had never won any literary award in his carrier."

The girl was right and Ferid chuckled.

"Huh?! What do you even know about books! What is that? I don't even know this author, who reads old books like that?"

"Intelligent people, but you probably aren't one of them."

"WHAT?! That was rude! Come on, we're leaving!"

And then the girls left. Ferid waited a few minutes and then he went to a girl he heard behind the bookshelf.

"Well, that was really smart."

He saw a young and short girl with purple hair and brown eyes. She was holding a fantasy book. Well, it was published long time ago but it was still one of the best books from this genre. Ferid knew this because, obviously, he has read it.

"Oh…They just irritated me. Actually I'm looking for Ferid Bathory, my brother sent me here."

"Well, you found him." He smiled at her. "You must be Shinoa then. You really don't look like Shinya."

"It's because I'm his adopted sister."

Ferid raised his eyebrows. Shinya never told him about this but well, they usually didn't speak about their families.

"Well, that explains a lot. So, how can I help you miss?"

She looked at him and sighed.

"I wanted to buy a book for my friend. I was thinking about what should I buy him, because he usually doesn't read books, so I thought that I will buy him my favorite one."

Ferid pointed to the book she was holding.

"Is it this one? If it is, it's a good choice then. Even if he doesn't read a lot I'm pretty sure that he will be interested in reading this one because the plot is really good."

"Thanks… We usually don't get along, but I thought that maybe we will find common interest if he reads the book. Maybe then he would understand me better."

"Oh~! So you like him and you want him to know you better?"

She blushed a little and he smiled at her.

"But please, don't tell Shinya."

"Yeah, I know, he would be nagging you all the time. Trust me, I know how he acts in situations like this."

Shinoa smiled to him and stared at the book.

"So you think he will like it?"

"Definitely, it's a really fun book especially for kids your age."

"Then I will take it."

She started walking towards the register but then she stopped and looked at one of the bookshelves. Ferid went to her and looked at it too. It was a fantasy section and she was looking at one of the new books.

"Oh, are you interested in this too? It's our new book but I've already read it, so I can recommend this to you. The characters were realistic and the world that the author created was really charming. If you love books like that," he pointed at her book, "you will love this one too."

She was looking at it with a little blush. Oh, he knew that look, she was probably a book nerd too, but then she sighed.

"I can't. I didn't read a book in months because we have exams soon and I must study."

"Oh, don't tell me you study all the time."

The girl looked at him and sighed again. Okay, maybe she was.

"Even if you study, which is important, sometimes you have to take a break and reading is the best option. There is nothing better than giving in to the world of fiction and escaping into the fictional world so you can forget about your own problems for a moment."

"You thinks so?"

Well, it helped him when he needed it most, so of course he knew what he was talking about.

"Yes, and besides, reading is considered learning too. You learn how to read, how to extend your imagination and how to write better. You learn more words and your speech is more eloquent. You really can't study all the time, sometimes you only need a few minutes of break and then you will study even better. Trust me."

"My brother won't like this."

Ferid raised his eyebrows.

"Who? Shinya? He's a book nerd."

"Oh, not him. My other brother, Kureto. He is always telling me that reading books like this is a waste of time and I should focus more on my textbooks."

"What a bullshit!"

Ferid took the book and then he went to the register.

"Here, take it. It's a present. You can't refuse it now."

He blinked to her and she was a little confused.

"But…I can't…"

"Don't worry, just read it, and then you will tell me what you thought about it."

Shinoa smiled.

"Shinya said that you are a weird person but now I know that you are nice too. Thank you!"

Ferid smiled at her and then she paid for her first book.

"Good luck on your exams!"

She waved her hand while she was smiling.

"Thank you again! Have a nice day!"

And then she left.

"I didn't know that you liked kids."

Ferid turned around and saw Krul with a confused look on her face.

"Oh, I just like smart kids, not all of them."

"Well, still it was nice of you. So you have a heart."

And then she left. He was looking at her and wondered what the hell was wrong with him these days?

He felt his phone vibrating in his pocket and he looked at it. He had a message from Crowley and he read it immediately.

[Do you want to eat something after work? ;]

Ferid smiled and replied quickly.

[With you? *w* Of course ~ :3 ]

––––––––

First CrowFeri date, what do you think? 3