Five Stages of Love
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I dearly hope you will like this part!
4. Depression
Two weeks later, Sam was feeling much less enthusiastic. Things were going well for Quinn – she'd eaten lunch with Puck for the last two days and they'd both seemed completely absorbed by each other, so Sam gave it a week at most before they started officially dating again. Things didn't look as promising when it came to getting Kurt to be interested in him while still maintaining some kind of subtlety.
The problem was that most of Quinn's suggestions weren't really anything new; Sam and Kurt already ate together on most days, they sat next to each other in the classes they had in common and Sam did confide in Kurt things he didn't tell others – mostly regarding his fears concerning how long they could still stand living in a motel room together and how the kids seemed a bit more withdrawn lately.
"You've been friend-zoned," had concluded Quinn when he had given voice to his doubts. "Triply so, actually – once for every girlfriend you've had."
He had thrown her a dirty look then, but she hadn't seemed to mind.
"You need to do something to get him to see you in a different light. Something a bit more drastic than following him around looking pathetic and hoping he'll feel the love seeping out of your pores." He wasted another disgruntled glare on Quinn as she just kept talking, getting more and more caught up in her own idea. "What about a date? Not explicitly, of course. But invite him to do something with you this weekend, something a bit more special than a meeting to study for your next History lesson if that's at all possible."
He had frantically refused, of course. He would never actually dare, he had then thought. What if Kurt said no? Worst, what if Kurt said yes? No, no, it was quite unthinkable.
That had been on Monday, four days ago. It didn't explain why his fingers were currently hesitating on the key that would send his message to "Kurty :)" (Stacy had taken it upon herself to rename all his contacts, using a picture of New Directions he kept in his wallet. He had changed most back but had kept a few others, like "Mohawk" or "Evil Eyes"). It was quite an innocuous message, one he'd sent quite a few times before to this number. Are you busy? Do you want to hang out? That was basically what he was asking Kurt.
He had, however, never sent it at 7:00 PM on a Friday. Those used to be date nights with Blaine, before, and even since the break-up they hadn't made plans for those evenings. He suddenly wondered if Kurt was spending them with his friends or if he was back home alone, Finn out with Rachel, thinking about what his weekends used to be like, and then before he knew it his fingers were pressing "send".
Traitors, he thought venomously at them.
Not busy at all. Your place?
Kurt was always careful not to refer to the Motel Room as, well, a motel room, perhaps because he thought Sam didn't wish to be reminded of where he was living while at school; Sam didn't care much either way, since it wasn't like he was going to forget about his family's living conditions any time soon, but he did find Kurt's tact hopelessly endearing. Admittedly, most of what Kurt did or said was hopelessly endearing.
Nope, picking u up. There in 20'.
His parents were going to kill him. Gas was expensive, and since his job was paying for most of his family's expenses it wasn't like it made much sense for him to tell them he'd pay them back. Oh well, he told the guilt stretching languidly in his stomach and scratching it a little, he'd take a double shift the next day, and Kurt would most likely offer to switch cars the second he arrived at the Hudson-Hummel home.
Having the opportunity to drive Kurt's car, Sam considered, wasn't to be taken lightly. It was an immense honor as well as a testosterone-driven joy, and Sam was still surprised the other boy had allowed him to get behind the wheel – he had simply needed to explain he had no idea how to give directions to where he wanted to take them and Kurt had surrendered, even though the excuse was flimsy at best.
The truth was Sam had no precise idea of where he was taking them, though he knew it wouldn't take too long to get there. Lima wasn't exactly a metropolis, after all, and Kurt and Finn had moved a bit farther from the town's center after the wedding. So really it didn't take more than fifteen good minutes to get far enough from the city's light pollution for what he wished to do.
Kurt hadn't said anything as they drove away from all signs of civilization, but he did look a bit uncertain as Sam drove off the road and cut the car's lights before jumping out.
"Um, Sam?"
Sam just smiled at him, nervousness tying his stomach in knots, and opened Kurt's door, trying to make the move seem casual by tugging on Kurt's sleeve rather than standing there peering at him – which, admittedly, he could have done all night.
"C'mon. Got something to show you."
Kurt got out of the car and made a point of looking around before throwing him a confused glance.
"And what exactly am I supposed to- oh."
Kurt cut himself off abruptly when Sam stepped closer to him, gently seizing his face in both of his palms and tilting it so he could see the sky.
"Oh, wow. Sam, this is…"
Myriads of stars were shining above them, twinkling conspiringly at them as they both unconsciously span on their heels a little, impossibly trying to take in all of the night sky and feeling a bit dizzy as they failed.
"Those three shiny stars in a triangle are part of Hydra, the biggest constellation," Sam began in a hushed voice he barely recognized. "You need a little imagination to see its body, it's supposed to continue with the star a bit on the left of those three, then the two right after that." Kurt didn't answer, so Sam considered it an implicit offer to listen and continued his explanations, pointing out star after star, giving out names, stories, all the while getting closer to Kurt where they'd decided to lie down on the grass, chilled by the October wind. When he was finished telling everything he knew and a few more things besides they just laid there in silence for a little while before the cold eventually chased them away, at which point they got in the car, put on the heating and delighted in the warm air running on their frozen hands.
Once they were back at Kurt's, the brunet seized Sam's wrist before he could get back in his own car to go back to the motel.
"Sam, I just wanted to say thanks. It was an extraordinary night, and one I won't forget anytime soon."
There were several things he wished to say then, but only one which felt truly appropriate.
"Don't thank me – it's just, well, you've been a bit down lately. And of course it's completely logical, but I just wanted you to know-"
"That there are bigger things than my problems?" Kurt's smile was a bit wry, though mostly amused, so Sam still hurried to correct him.
"No, no, not at all! It has nothing to do with- with relativity, or anything like that. It was just to say that you're not alone, and that you always have something to go back to when it gets bad – just like you've shown me I could go to you with whatever problems I had."
Kurt had almost frozen as he spoke, and Sam could almost see him give himself a little shake before he glanced at Sam again, a look so tender in his eyes it made his stomach clench.
"Right. Well I certainly don't need relativism to feel better anyway, since I apparently have the best friend in the world to help with that." He hugged Sam then, tightly, and the blond wondered with a sinking feeling if that's what being friend-zoned was supposed to be like, tender looks and tight hugs and declarations of friendships coupled with impossible, desperate longing for more.
Quinn's date idea hadn't had the results they hoped for, but she had been right about one thing at least; he was really getting pathetic.
Thanks for reading! See you (hopefully soon) for the next part, "Acceptance"