Disclaimer: All characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer but the plot is all mine!
A/N: Thank you all for reading this story and leaving such kind reviews! Let me know what you think as its keeps me going!
And now the story continues…
Chapter 4 - Awakening
"Did you try to kill yourself?" Charlie's voice was almost a whisper as he looked at Bella's pale face as she stood in the small kitchen
"No…" Bella shook her head. It was the truth. She really hadn't gone to the cliffs with that purpose in mind in fact she couldn't remember what took her there it wasn't like she'd made a conscious decision.
"I went to the beach to clear my head and found myself up there" She mumbled as her little shoulder came up to the side of her face. Charlie watched the movement and his heart ached for his only child she looked so sad…so vulnerable why hadn't he noticed before?
"You went to the beach in the pouring rain? Why Bella what happened?" he asked a pained expression on his face. He knew it had something to do with Jacob. The young man had not come to see Bella since the near drowning and that was mighty odd. Billy was silent too no matter how hard he tried to get his old friend to talk he wouldn't budge and no one could keep their mouth shut like Billy Black.
Bella said nothing her eyes on the ground as she shrugged a little in response…
"And Jacob…" Charlie asked "Why hasn't he been to see you these past few days …did you argue?" He didn't miss the tension in her body at the mention of Jakes name
"We sorta broke up…" she mumbled in reply her small fingers pulling at the long sleeves of her oversized sweat shirt. These days Bella looked lost in the clothes she chose to wear, they overwhelmed her small frame somehow providing a barrier to the world.
"I see…" Charlie replied sighing loudly. His eyes looked up at the ceiling as he tried to compose himself. His emotions were getting the better of him and he didn't do emotion well. Here we go again he thought first Cullen now Jacob. He didn't think he could go through it all with her this time though. The past three weeks since he'd got the call from Sue to collect a half drowned Bella…well they were both living the nightmare…night after night just like last time. He was really at the end of his tether and something had to give…
"Maybe…" he paused as her eyes lifted to meet his "Maybe Forks is not the best place for you to be any more Bella" she shook her head and went to protest.
"No let me finish "said Charlie. "I think you should wait until you've graduated from Forks High it's too late now to go anywhere else but…" he sighed again he didn't want to say it "You either go to college or back to Renee."
Bella just nodded tears forming in her big eyes she knew it was useless to argue with Charlie right at this moment. He studied his tiny daughter. She was so lost it was obvious for all to see. Constantly putting the needs and wishes of others before her own had left her in this mess he was damn sure of it…He suddenly felt a rush of felt guilt for leaving her alone so many times, choosing overtime or night shifts over his daughter. Living on his own for so long, had made him kinda selfish he conceded to himself. He needed to do better by her…be a father
"You know Bells" Charlie's voice was softer a little calmer "Sometimes we have to sink to the very bottom to kick up for the surface" His moustache twitched a little as he smiled at her. "And if we don't take control of our lives someone else will" he sighed as he opened his arms and drew his daughter into a rare hug "And maybe not for the best either." He added as he kissed the top of her head. "Promise me you'll concentrate on school and maybe apply for college then we'll see…" Bella drew back her face looking a little brighter she really, really didn't want to go back to living with Renee and Phil.
"Love you dad" She smiled at him "And I promise…."
"Love you too Bell's always have and always will" Charlie replied
As Bella turned to leave the kitchen in her mind a plan was starting to form. Charlie was right she needed to move on, take control and make something of her life. She was so done with feeling depressed, with self-pity…the near drowning had made Bella realise that life was precious and meant to be lived. After all she reasoned Renee and Charlie were both grown adults they could take care of themselves…it was at that moment that she finally realised she needed to take care of herself…coz it felt like no one else would.
000
Jacob paced the small kitchen as Billy watched from his place at the table.
"You need to eat son" Billy pointed to the pile of scrambled eggs and bacon he had prepared but Jacob just shook his head. The damned imprint pulled at him to go see Jessica but she was the one person Jacob really didn't want to see at this moment in time…or ever come to that. No matter which way he looked at it he was devastated by what had happened that afternoon.
He'd taken an instant dislike to Jessica as soon as she had followed Bella into his garage and then to find out that she had been selected by the great spirits to be his imprint! He shook his head words just simply failed him he was so filled with anger, anger at becoming a wolf, anger at Billy for not warning him, anger at the so called wisdom of the Great Spirits…he felt like he was being consumed by rage. But one thing he was adamant about, Jacob had decided not to share the legend or the pack secret with his imprint he simply did not trust her.
His thoughts turned to Bella he knew she would be hurting…fuck she'd thrown herself off the cliff top and nearly drowned if it hadn't been for Lahote of all people. Lahote… something didn't add up. The way he had held Bella on the beach…if he didn't know any better he'd have thought Paul had imprinted himself and on Bella. Yet he was still spouting hate about her to anyone who would listen.
Jacob's eyes narrowed as he tipped the remainder of the orange juice he had been drinking from his glass into the sink and slammed it down on the drainer. His muscles twitched under the bronzed skin of his broad shoulders and tiny ripples flowed down his arms to his large hands which gripped the edges of the work surface the knuckles of his hand practically turning white with the force. Lahote how he loathed his pack brother…
Suddenly he smashed one fist down hard and the glass that he had used tumbled to the floor shattering into pieces jolting Jacob out of his dark thoughts.
"I…I need to go Dad" he groaned not even looking at his father as he spoke "I'm…sorry ...the wolf"
Billy watched with sad eyes as his son disappeared out of the back door running for the forest where he seemed to spend most of his waking hours since that fateful afternoon. He sighed loudly he too was worried about Jacobs imprint. Instead of great joy as the legends had promised she had brought nothing but heart break, changing his happy go lucky son into someone he almost didn't recognise. It was the will of the Great Spirits but just like his son he too had taken a dislike to Jessica that day and now he simply couldn't decide what to do...
As soon as Jacob hit the tree line he exploded into the huge russet wolf his anger ran free and digging his claws into the earth Jacob took off in the direction of Forks. He had waited long enough. He needed to see Bella.
000
Bella busied herself in the small kitchen. She smiled at the brightly coloured doors of the kitchen cabinets each one a different shade testament to Renee's desperate attempt to brighten her life in rainy Forks until that day she finally packed up and drove away. Her smile faltered a little as she realised that after all this time Charlie had done nothing to change it…every room in the house was the same as her mother had left it…in some ways he too hadn't moved on. He had loved Renee maybe he always would.
The oven timer buzzed loudly bringing Bella out of her melancholy. Grabbing the oven mitts she pulled out a tray of double chocolate cookies and breathed in the delicious chocolate aroma it felt good to bake and it raised her spirits. Placing them on the cooling rack she placed another batch in the oven before settling down to some therapeutic chopping of onion and chillies for the chilli she was making for dinner.
It had been three weeks since her fall into the sea and Charlie's little talk with her earlier that Saturday morning had just coincided with how she was feeling and that was feeling more positive. The last three weeks had been sheer hell. She had gone zombie like back into that black hole where Edward had left her and from which Jake had dragged her. Even worse her old nightmares had returned…but somewhere along the line and she couldn't quite pin point the exact moment… she had an epiphany…a small voice in her mind had told her to get up and get on with her life.
Charlie was right it was her life and no one had the right to control it. Bella chopped at the onion with more force than was necessary but in her mind she was chopping at Edward and the Cullen family cutting away at the last bonds that had tied her to them. He controlled me she thought… played with me like a shiny new toy only to throw me away when he grew bored and then Jacob…the chopping faltered for a moment…yes dumped again but this time because of a damn super natural imprint he promised would never happen
Bella slammed the knife down onto the work surface with a crash as a small sob worked its way up her throat. She sucked in a deep breath of air as she sought to calm herself down. "Supernatural shit" she screamed at the top of her voice "Well no more…Charlie's right I need to leave Forks and all this shit behind!"
She moved towards the sink to wash her hands and nearly screamed again…there was Jacob Black looking in the small window. Her small hand shot to her mouth he looked absolutely dreadful. Dark rings surrounded his deep brown eyes and his complexion was sallow. He was fighting the imprint she just knew it…
"What do you want" she barely whispered knowing he could hear her. For all her bravado Bella still had some way to go before she was completely over what had happened
"Please let me in Bell's" he replied "We need to talk…the imprint I…"
"I…I really don't want to see or talk to you Jake" she squeaked her hands shook as she picked up the tea towel and dried her hands turning to walk away. Jacob tapped on the glass he was frantic
"Please Bella…you won't answer my calls or my texts…I'm so sorry…please…I need to tell you something" he pleaded. Bella shook her head as she backed away and out of the kitchen
"I'm sorry Jacob but I can't…" She stood in the door way to the hall trying to hold herself together but determined not to be beaten "I can do this…" she whispered to herself like a little mantra "I'm strong I can make it on my own"
When she finally walked back into the kitchen Jacob had gone…
000
Monday morning had come around all too quickly and the final exams were approaching. Bella worked hard at her grades and the teachers were really pleased to see a little of the old Bella back this past week instead of the depressed zombie sat alone at the back of the class.
Once again Angela had come to her rescue and supported by Mike they had eased her back into school life. Although they did not know the full story they knew enough…that Jacob Black had dumped Bella for Jessica and Bella had tried to commit suicide. They didn't quite believe the last bit thinking it was just Jessica blowing everything out of proportion but Bella hadn't been in school for a fortnight following that afternoon and look what happened last time with Cullen they thought.
Bella and Angela were the last to join the lunch table outside. The sun was shining and everyone was trying to soak up some of the sun's rays before the inevitable rain returned.
"Are you two coming to La Push this weekend?" Eric inquired "We were just making plans to surf"
"Yeah come on Bella" Mike joined in and seeing her eyes widen he added "Not everyone will surf some of us plan to walk to the rock pools" he smiled at her "Come on what do you say? Ange will be going won't you Ange?" He turned to Angela with a pleading look on his face. She smiled in return
"Of course Mike yes do come Bella its fun" she laughed. Bella stopped nibbling at the small sandwich she had purchased
"Umm… okay" she smiled a little tentatively at both Angela and Mike just as Eric jumped up on his chair pretending to surf
"La Push baby!" he cried and winked at Bella who giggled in return Eric really looked absurd
"La Push?" Came a voice they all knew "The same La Push where my gorgeous boyfriend lives?" All the boys groaned. Jessica and her side kick Laura had arrived. All heads turned to Bella who just carried on nibbling her sandwich.
"There is only one La Push in these parts" Mike practically growled "And you damn well know it Jess" Who promptly flipped him off before seating herself opposite Bella
"Did I tell you that my gorgeous boyfriend will be chief one day?" She preened
"Yeah" Ben grumbled low "Like one million times already. Jess threw him a look and flicked her long brown hair back
"Well I expect some of you will be jealous" she snarked "Especially those who can't seem to keep a boyfriend." Mikes chair fell backwards as he abruptly stood up
"That's enough Jessica!" He bellowed "You have this Black fellow so good for you but maybe you should be as gracious as Bella don't you think?" He was right up in her face
"What's going on?" The voice of the lunch time patrol teacher rang out across the silent dining area
"Nothing" Mike replied "I think Jessica and Laura were just leaving"
"Humph" said Jessica as she stood gathering her things "Maybe you should stay away from La Push Bella I'm sure the last thing Jacob needs to see is his old cast off" and with that she turned and flounced out closely followed by Laura
"Are you ok?" Mike gently asked placing his hand upon Bella's arm. Bella nodded and before anyone could say anything further she was literally saved by the bell…lunch was over.
000
The week passed by in a flash and on Saturday morning by some miracle the sun was shining brightly as Bella awoke. She stretched out and then snagged her cell from the night stand. Ten messages and all about the trip to La Push! Taking a deep breath she grabbed her wash things and headed into the shower today was going to be fun and boy did she need it.
Charlie had already left for the fishing trip with Billy. He hadn't wanted to leave her alone all weekend but Bella had insisted and he cheered up when he found out she was spending the day with her friends. Truth be told Bella was looking forward to a quiet Saturday evening and her favourite book. She had loads of revision too as exams started on Monday.
She stripped both their beds and loaded the washing machine. Quickly eating her breakfast she had just managed to get her back pack when she heard a loud car horn. Mike and Ange grinned at her as she ran from the house almost tripping down the steps and soon they were heading for the beach.
By mid-afternoon the sun was high and hot as Bella picked her way across the beach towards the rock pools. Mike stopped here and there to help her climb over rocks and she had gratefully accepted his hand knowing full well she would have slipped into the water if she didn't.
"Come over here Bella" Angela's laughter tinkled in the warm breeze "This pool is like a miniature aquarium" Bella hurried to join her friend and squinting slightly from the bright sunlight peered down into the clear water. Angela was right a myriad of small sea creatures darted for cover. Small crabs scuttled under the stones as Angela dipped a hand under the surface.
"Amazing!" Bella squealed with delight as Mike joined them "Look at that small sea urchin" Mike squatted down next to Bella and his hand brushed against hers as he steadied himself. For once Bella didn't pull back like she had been burned and this did not go unnoticed by Mike. They smiled shyly at each other before Bella got up and wandered off after Angela who had found another exciting pool.
As they walked back towards the others on the beach Angela couldn't help but ask…
"That was kind of Mike to help you over the rocks today Bella" Bella nodded yes it was she thought to herself "And you seemed to maybe like his company?" Angela gently probed
Bella's face reddened as a blush spread up from her throat "Yes but it's not like you are thinking" she practically squeaked. Angela laughed loudly
"You're blushing though…" Angela pointed out "Are you sure you don't find Mike attractive?"
"Humph!" was Bella's reply clearly miffed at her friend
"I'm only teasing Bella you know that don't you?" Angela sounded a little worried it was still early days since Bella's depression and she had been so pleased to see her friend look so happy. Bella nodded then smiled
"I know" she replied "But Mike is being nice to me and I appreciate it. If it hadn't been for you and Mike these past few weeks I don't think I would have made it into school" Angela hurried to give Bella a hug.
"We are all so glad you came through Bella" She smiled "I'm glad to have helped in any way that we can it's so good to see you smiling again" Bella nodded as they made their way up the shore to join the others.
Bella hadn't mentioned anything to Angela but she had noticed the small group of Quileute guys gathered by Mike's mom's camper van. Music was playing from the radio and food had been laid out.
Food… she sighed to herself they would have smelt that from 10 miles out with their wolf appetites. She had scanned the beach as she approached and was relieved to not find Jacob amongst them.
Quil and Embry nodded in her direction as she found a place to sit down close to Angela. She tentatively smiled back and caught the eye of young Seth Clearwater
"Good to see you Bella" he laughed "Have you been exploring the rock pools" and just like that the awkward silence was broken and the others joined in
"Are these your Chocolate cookies Bella?" Quil asked. Bella nodded "Told you" he bellowed at Embry taking a swipe at his head who was too quick for him "I'd know Bella's cooking anywhere."
"There's more in the camper" Bella timidly added "There's some chicken too if you'd like" The guys didn't need asking twice they were on the Tupperware boxes in an instant. Quil practically groaned as he bit into a chicken leg and snagging two chocolate cookies in one meaty paw.
"Hey" said Embry "Better save some for Claire" He jutted his chin towards a young child playing with a bucket and spade close by.
"Your sister?" Eric asked as Quil swept the toddler up into his beefy arms handing her a chocolate cookie.
"Um Yeah" Quil replied but he looked kinda embarrassed
"Sucks to have to baby sit on an afternoon like this man" Eric sympathised as Quil simply nodded. Little did he know thought Bella that the little girl was considered an ideal mate for Quil. They would all run a mile if they knew and most likely report Quil to the police while they were at it. But of course here on the Rez it was okay coz the great Spirits themselves had ordained it. Anger rippled through Bella she hated imprinting. She rose to her feet…
"Want to come for a walk along the shore Claire?" Bella asked. Quil looked at her with relief as the small girl nodded wriggling against him to be let down.
"Qwill stay" Claire suddenly announced "I go wiv Bells on my own, I'm a big girl now" Quil hesitated slightly his wolf wanting him to follow but he could not deny what his imprint wanted so he joined Embry who was chatting to Angela, keeping an eye on Bella and Claire as they wandered along the sand.
By the time they came back from their little expedition Quil was laughing loudly with Angela who was leaning into his huge body. Bella sighed as she held Claire's hand. There it was again proof that all this supernatural stuff was nothing but a crock of shit. It was so obvious that Quil should be dating someone like Angela and not be shackled to a two year old for the rest of his life, patiently waiting until she grew up and hopefully not be too shocked when they told her that Uncle Quil was her one and only!
Bella shook her head a little yes imprinting for this pack was insanely wrong! The Great Spirits had plainly fucked up.
"Bella" A deep voice came from behind her. She turned and looked straight into the concerned eyes of Embry Call.
000
Bella was shattered by the time Mike and the others dropped her home. She wearily climbed the steps to the front door. All her good mood had been chased away by what Embry had shared on the beach.
The hot water from the shower eased the tension in her shoulders but she simply couldn't let go of the fact that Jacob was in trouble. Everyone was worried about him, his dad the pack he simply wasn't acting like himself and denying the imprint was having a catastrophic effect on his body. He spent so much time in wolf form that he was actually losing some of his human characteristics.
She stood in front of the mirror combing out her damp hair. Embry had asked her to speak to Jacob to hear him out. Her constant refusal to see him and give him a chance to explain was driving him towards a complete breakdown they were sure of it. A tear began to roll down Bella's face; Jake had been there for her when she needed him most now it was her turn. She picked up her cell…
"Jacob…its Bella can you come over…?"
AN: Don't you just hate Jessica uurggh! Poor Jacob but I can understand Bella trying to protect herself…and what about Mike will Bella finally go on a date with him…? In case you are all wondering why Jessica calls Jake her boyfriend yet he's denying the imprint he had to tell her something when he imprinted and fell to his knees. he asked Jessica out on a date and Jessica ran with it because she felt she had something over Bella! Jake will explain all in the next chapter...
Till next time xxx