Clueless Joe
I yelp in surprise and pain as my stern and rigid mother smacks me on my forehead. The deafening silence that follows grows awkward and foreboding. My mother becomes frighteningly quiet and borderline violent whenever she's angry. And the best way to stay alive under this situation is keep your head low and your mouth shut until her boiling rage is spent. I chew my lip nervously, waiting for my mother to cool down a bit. In the cheap plastic chair beside my narrow hospital bed, my always happy and carefree Grandma Bella starts to sing a song in Italian. My mother places a shaking hand over her eyes and lets out a frustrated sigh.
"When are you going to grow up and learn, Joseph?" My mother's tone is calm and tired, but the blaze in her eyes is screaming at me like a crazy banshee. "When are you going to let go and move on and stop bothering Stephanie? She's a married woman now. Her husband won't be happy if you don't give up."
I look into my mother's beautiful and sorrowful eyes. I wish I have an answer for her question. I wish I can find a way to stop bring shame to my already tortured family. I wish I know why I am so obsessed with Stephanie. She's not exactly the most beautiful woman in the world. She's not exactly a sexy kitten. She's not exactly kind and pure and innocent. But I love her anyway. And I just can't take my eyes off her.
I follow her everywhere. I watch every breath she takes. I watch every move she makes. I left roses and chocolates on her doorstep under the cover of the night. The reason why I chose to become a policeman is that I wanted to be able to stop her car at anytime and smile at her. Yes, at one time I did plan to join the Navy after high school. I wanted to be a Navy SEAL. I wanted to be the national hero who single-handedly killed off all the enemies and saved our country and obtained world peace. I wanted to flash my million dollar smile when shaking hands with the President in front of CNN, ABC and NBC news cameras. I wanted to look into the cameras and say "I love you, Stephanie Plum, Cupcake. Will you marry me?" on national live TV. I wanted to put my Navy SEAL hat on Stephanie's head and sweep her off her feet while the crowd clapped and cheered. But I was forced to forfeit the dream when I found out that I suffered from seasick. I was, and still is, afraid of the sea. The cold, vast, and merciless sea. Where man-eating sharks, ultra-venomous sea serpents, giant squids, and sea monsters live...
"Joseph!" Again my mother smacks me hard on my already bruised and swollen forehead. "Are you listening to me?"
"Yes, mother. Sorry, mother" I murmur. The memory of my father's lean handsome face surfaces in my mind. My father died in a car accident when I was 10. He and the lady who sold donuts and fruit tarts eloped and were on the way to the airport to catch a flight to Rio de Janeiro when his bright red Alfa Romeo skipped and slammed head-on into an 18-wheeler. My mother didn't speak to anyone for over 3 months after his funeral. It was a closed casket viewing. And Grandma Bella kept trying to pry the coffin open so that she could kiss her beloved favorite son goodbye. Everyone cried. But my mother's eyes remained dry. I turned my head around, and saw Stephanie crying in her mother's arms.
And I fell in love with her all over again at that moment...