Chapter 4

The second day of school had just finished, and Heinz walked outside to head to the hardware store. He walked lightly on his feet, not really caring how fast or slow he went; he just followed his own pace. He looked forward to hearing his new singing voice, and no one was going to ruin the moment for him. A few minutes after leaving, Heinz heard a car honk. He turned behind him to see none other than Matt.

"Hey! What are you doing?" Matt yelled from to Heinz from inside his car. "I thought I was driving you again today."

"Nope," Heinz answered back, once again continuing his walk, "I've got some shopping to do."

"Oh, alright, see ya." Matt drove past Heinz and continued down the street.

Around fifteen minutes later, after a couple rounds of a little more of a brisk walk, Heinz reached the hardware store. He opened the doors and began to survey the inside.

"Whoa," Heinz gasped, looking at all the shelves upon rows of items. "Stores back in Drueselstein were never as big as this."

He began browsing, mouth agape, at all the products they had for sale—which made him wonder what he actually needed to build a ray that will make you possess a wonderful singing voice. After thinking through materials for a few minutes, Heinz decided he would have to visit an electronics store first. Luckily there was one right down the street, so he would just have to walk a couple of blocks.

Heinz entered the store knowing exactly what he needed—a CD player. What else was going to transfer the music, or play the music at the least? He grabbed the first one he saw, bought it, then ran back down to the hardware store. He had a pretty good idea of what he needed now. Probably a few sheets of some light metal or thick aluminum and a bunch of either screws or nails would do it. Although, he did need an opinion from someone who was pretty much an expert with building things—but he wasn't stupid enough to ask "So what do you recommend for constructing a ray to make you sing better?" Maybe a more… general… approach.

Heinz headed to the main counter and rang the bell on lying on top of it, even though the man was standing right in front of him. He looked up lazily from his computer where he was pricing merchandise and gave a very unenthusiastic, "How may I… ugh… help you?"

"Yes," Heinz said, a little intimidated by the man, "I need your opinion on something."

"Okay, what?"

"Uh, let's say you were to…"

"…build a ray?" the man interrupted, finishing Heinz's sentence.

"Um, yes. How did you know?" Heinz asked.

"I can read minds."

"What!"

"Ha, just kiddin'. You talk to yourself a lot, kid."

Heinz blushed, almost to the point where it felt like his face was burning. You talk to yourself a lot, kid, he mocked in his head. Well, gees, thanks for being polite and pointing that out!

"Here," the man said as he put his arm around Heinz's shoulder, "follow me." He guided Heinz to the different parts he would need to complete his invention, and they both debated back and forth about different products for hours. After finally deciding on materials, Heinz headed back home to start building the ray.

He headed to the basement of him home where all the tools were and started working. He first took the CD player and put the CD he had composed into the compartment. Next, he attached wires from where the headphones would be plugged in, to the tip of where the ray would be shot out. After attaching a large series of metal to the front, he made a trigger that would signal the CD player to play and release the beam. He was almost finished. Just a couple more screws and he would be done. And after a few more minutes of careful work, the ray was finished.

"Yes!" Heinz yelled when he completed his work. "All my hard work has finally paid off!" He ran up the stairs to his room, closed the door, and sat as his desk with his ray in hand.

"Hmm, you need a name," he said to his invention. "Something cool and easy to remember… something like… I've got it! The Sing-inator! Er, no, that doesn't sound right. Maybe the Voice-Change-inator! Ugh, that doesn't sound right either… I feel like I'll have to use that name for something later…"

Heinz continued, again, talking to himself for quite some time before the phone rang.

"The Doofenshmirtzes," Heinz answered like he always did.

"Heinz, it's Matt! So, I was thinking about you and Allison a couple minutes ago, and I think that…"

Heinz hung up the phone before Matt could finish his sentence, he really did not want to think about Allison, and he had more important things to take care of. Matt didn't call back for a while; he must've gotten the message.

"So, about that name…" Heinz continued from where he left off. "Well, until I can think of a better name, you will be called the Ticket-to-Becoming-Lead-Singer-of-Love-Händel-inator. Not very catchy, but at least it serves a purpose."

Heinz hid the Ticket-to-Becoming-Lead-Singer-of-Love-Händel-inator in his drawer and went to watch some television before going to bed. But before he could find the remote, the phone rang again. He sighed and went to pick it up.

"The Doofenshmirtzes," he said again.

"Heinz! It's Matt."

"Really? I couldn't tell," Heinz said sarcastically. "Look, if this is about Allison, I'm hanging up again."

"It's not. Okay, it is. But please don't—" Heinz hung up the phone once again and went to turn on the TV. The phone rang again.

"Matt, fine, what about Allison?" he asked when he answered the phone.

"Well, I know you don't want to date her, but I seriously think you guys would get along great," Matt said, clearly with good intensions.

"Two things," Heinz began, "One, it's not that I don't want to date Allison, I just don't want to date period. Get it?"

"Uh huh."

"And two, we've only seen each other for like ten minutes! In a hallway! She can't possibly like me after meeting me for ten minutes."

"Or maybe it was love at first sight," Matt said, acting like a poorly-trained match maker.

"Seriously, Matt."

"Just think about it, okay? I know you like her."

"I mean, I do like her, and fine, maybe I do have a little bit of a crush on her, but that's it! No one else but me gets crushes after ten minutes of meeting someone."

"Are you sure?" Matt asked.

"Pretty much, yeah," Heinz answered, starting to get a little annoyed.

"Well you're wrong. My parents got married after just knowing each other four months."

"Four months! That's ridiculous!" Heinz yelled.

"Oh, is it?"

"How did that marriage work out?" Heinz said while laughing to himself.

"They've been married twenty years. OH, what now?!"

"Well they got lucky. Normal people don't get married after four months and stick with it."

"Are you sure?" Matt asked again.

"How many of your relatives have extreme relationships!?" Heinz screamed.

"Ha ha, I'm just kidding. Point is, it's okay to have a crush on Allison. In fact, it's more than okay. What I'm saying is that you should totally ask her out."

"Again, NO, Matt," Heinz answered, becoming even more annoyed.

"Alright, but you're missing out," Matt said and hung up without another word.

Heinz walked back to the TV and turned it on. But he was barely watching the program; his thoughts rotated between Allison and Love Händel.

Maybe I should listen to Matt and just ask Allison out, Heinz thought. Hello! Earth to Heinz! You've only seen her once! At least get to know her a little more before asking her on a date. Now, about Love Händel…

That night, Heinz fell asleep in front of the TV. He woke up to the sound of the phone ringing again. He urgently looked at the clock—it was 6:00 a.m., just half an hour earlier than when he woke up on school days normally. He reached for the phone.

"The… Doofen…shmirtzes," he yawned.

"Pssst! Guess who!" the voice said.

"WHAT, Matt?!"

"Meet me at the Sapphire Suite Diner tonight at eight. I need to talk to you in private."

"Why can't you just tell me now?"

"There are people here, Heinz. And these people are listening." The phone line went dead.

This guy is definitely off his rocker, Heinz thought.