I don't even what is happening when I hit the floor. The only thought I'm aware of is that I have to save Jaden. He is at my side in a moment. I feel like I'm going to throw up and it takes a surprising amount of effort to hold my bile down.
"Somebody please help my sister! Blaze, wake up wake up!" He's yelling, completely frantic. There is a strange sensation taking place. I feel my weigh being lifted. Am I dead? I think imprudently. My lids raid and I'm starring into the pool-blue eyes of Caleb. I blink a few times to clear my sight. It isn't caleb who's holding me up, it's Peeta.
"Are you okay?"Peeta questions me with a look of true concern in his eyes.
Everyone has their eyes fixed on me. My cheeks grow hot and I bet I am blushing a blazing red. I feel like I want to melt into the stage. I'm that embarrassed.
"Yeah," I manage to get out. My voice is raspy and stiff. I'm not at all okay. There are tears forming in my eyes. I can't save him. I promised him I would and I've failed.
"Sorry I broke my promise," Is all I can say to him with all these people here.
"Don't be, You couldn't help it." My brother's eyes hold my gaze, unwavering, he's not simply lying for my sake. Still, one of my biggest fear has come to light; loosing everyone I care for. In order to survive I'll have to kill me little brother and two best friends. A silent scream erupts from somewhere deep inside.
"I Volunteer for the boy on Team Twelve," Comes a male voice from the seventeen year old roped-off section. The sound rings in my ears. Am I imagining things? He raises onto the stage, in strong, proud, strides. I catch a glimpse of his raven hair and physique. He catches my eyes and a smirk tugs at his lips. I stare at him in recognition a flash longer before he passes me, his presence moving the air. Smithouser, I whisper.
"Well, aren't you a real looker," I hear Effie say in an exited voice. Sometime when I fainted she must have wandered over here.
"Thank you." he smiles,"My name is Tristan Smithouser," he says as if he's a prince who has just won a battle. What he has really just won is a nonrefundable death ticket. I'm struck dumbfounded. Tristan of all people is saving Jaden.
Tristan the Devil; the boy who made my life Hell; The boy who kills rabbits; The one who reels in girls with sweet lies just to cuts their hearts and cast them away; the dark, mesmerizing toy; put simply, an ass hole of a playboy.
All those thought keep flashing through my mind as Effie announces the new male tribute for Team Twelve. Why would someone like him risk his life to save Jaden's? The answer hits me like a four ton hovercraft. He is bringing his torturing of me to a whole new level, a level that includes killing.
Effie has finished announcing Tristan when someone in a black suit is half leading half dragging Jaden off the stage.
"Blaze, I won't leave without you I won't!" He cries out for everyone to hear.
Even though it breaks my heart to pieces with every word, I say in a tone of steel, "Stop crying like a child! You aren't doing anything to help." In a calm, but persuasive voice I continue,"I will be fine on my own. You need to take care of yourself. I promise I'll be okay, so just go!" I can't show any sign of weakness. From now on I'll be the dog in a cage with lions who'll rip out my guts the second I let my guard down. In this game, only the strong and ruthless survive. I guess my words did the trick because he tuns his back to me and slowly slinks off stage like a whipped puppy. Out of the corner of my eye I see Katniss looking at me with an odd expression I can't really name.
Effie's voice reads Katniss's thoughts for me,"Wow I haven't had this feeling since Katniss stepped up for Primrose just a few years ago. May Prim rest in peace and my we congratulate Tristan Smithouser, Katniss Everdeen, and Blaze Boltson for their heroic actions!" There is a applaud from the crowd and I'm shocked to see so many people from school looking at me half smiling half crying like they will really care if I die.
I look around at the other tributes, some look scarred and on the verge of breaking while other look like they're pissed attention seekers. The scariest ones however, are the ones who are perfectly calm, not showing a trace of emotion. Team Twelve has a huge advantage and will most likely get some sponsors after this little charade. I mentally smile, maybe the ass hole isn't so worthless after all, he's given me a good head start. Our cold relationship is also a good one. When it comes time to slit his throat at midnight; I won't have any mixed up feelings.
What seems like two seconds later we are being rushed into President Snow's old Mansion, a place Analease knows very well. This is where we will say our goodbyes. Each of us get our own private room to do so. My room number is twenty-three; it's about the size of my bedroom. I guess it's was originally used as a tiny conference room or something. There are about four comfortable chairs made of velvet with gold lace trimming sewn into the arm of the chairs. In between two chairs is a mediocre sized couch that can sit two to three people. Nothing really stands out as exquisite. I had expected more from President Snow's mansion.
It's been about five minutes and no one has arrived. My throat catches. Mom might not even know what is going on, my father is god knows where, my friends are part of the games, and even Jaden might not have showed up because of what I said. I was too hard on him and now he's angry with me. But I had to do it, I try to convince myself. I go to sit down on the couch and make myself into a ball. Hesitantly, I start to chew at my nails, then stop at a slight creaking noise. The door opens and little Jaden walks in.
My spirits lift. "Oh thank God your here! I thought you were mad at me because of what I said I'm so so so sorry if I hurt you." I run to him arms for a moment we embrace, I cry and laugh at the same time, and he murmurs in my ear,"Promise me you'll take this as your token to remind you of me so you don't forget." He holds out a small black feather strung to a necklace on a gold chain.
"Your feather really? Oh how could I ever forget you?" I ask trembling
"I don't worry about you forgetting me, I don't want you to forget yourself. I don't want you to turn into a ruthless monster, Promise?" he sighs innocently.
"Of corse! I promise you I won't go insane or turn into a monster. But Remember, I may have to kill in order to come home." I choke.
"I know, just remember Gloria." He replies with a smile.
Gloria, that is who's feather this is. She was our pet bird we got from our father. Back then, we didn't know why she was always sad until we realized she was a Mockingjay from the wild. She was never mean't to be caged. In the end we set her free and were filled with joy as we watched her fly away singing merry tunes. In her cage was one tiny black feather. Jaden kept it as a memory of her; to remind him that caged things must be set free.
The real lesson of the story was that though we caged Gloria, when we let her go she didn't attack us. Gloria was thankful to be set free and graced us with song. She was grateful and always stayed a peaceful bird even though she was in a rough situation. She never turned into a monster out of rage.
"Yes, I'll remember her. Jaden thank you so much for always being by my side. Just remember you are going to have to find someone els to call on besides me. I hope I come back, but if I don't know that I'll always love you." He nods.
"I'll love you too." We just stand there until a peace keeper comes to take him away. He panics and fights and screams and I can't do a single thing.
"Blaze Blaze Blaze!" are the last world I'll ever her from him; my name in distorted cries.
The next people to come into the room are a group of girls that I rarely even talked with. They all seem to be teary with puffy eyes and stuffed up noses. I suppose they just finished seeing all their other friends and I'm the last stop.
"Oh Blaze we are going to miss you so much. You were so fun to be around!" One girl named Kara exclaims and starts to burst into tears.
"It's so heroic how much you love your little brother. Family love is so important." Relna a girl on our pep squad sighs and then cries. Pretty soon all of the girls are crying, but one.
Juno, a tall girl with pitch black hair and grey/blue eyes looks at me straight forward and says five words that make me feel better,"We'll take care of him." It feels as if I'm Atlas and the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders. For the last few minutes they're with me, I tell them how much I'm going to miss everyone. I suddenly dawns on me that all these people who I also though of as petty and stupid, really aren't that bad. They care and laugh and cry and get mad just like everyone else. It's not our fault we ended up the way we are. The Capitol raised us to be like this. Even if the Rebel's see us as stuck up, disgusting, aristocrats; we are humans. We may be vastly different from the citizens of the Districts, but we're still just people.
Once they all leave, I stare at the clock. I still have a half hour until we leave for the train station. I'm almost positive I have no more visitors. If I need to, now is the time to cry. If I do, there will be no one to witness it and I can be cleaned up by the time we reach the train station were there are sure to be tons of cameras. I can't seem to get any tear out however, and that's a good thing because two seconds later she walks in the door.
I grit my teeth and try to calm down as the Medusa herself, Katniss sits down in a chair besides me.
"Why are you here?" I ask savagely. There is no reply. I could kill her in this very room right now, the thought dawns on me. But how? I could try to choke her, but I've had no practice in hand to hand combat and I'm sure she's had tons. Plus she's bound to be armed. I silently let out a painful giggle, she has no guards, she's that confident she can deal with me.
"I know you must think I'm the mother of all bitches, but just know that I can relate to what you're feeling. I was once a tribute like you and in the very same position, and I blamed the Capitol for everything. Now you blame us, but pointing a finger doesn't solve anything, actions do. I also know that behind your hate for the rebels you are scared. Scared for your brother, scared of getting killed, and scared of turning into a monster yourself." Katniss breaks the silence and her words send chills down my back because all her words are true. I wan't to kill her. No. Behind that I wan't to safe. That's what I really want. She put a hand on my back and walks out the door before I can say another thing.
Before it completely shuts the older girl whispers something without turning to face me, "If you weren't a lap dog I think we could have been friends. As I said before, not blame, but actions solve problems. Be strong and win. I'm betting on you."
I sit there shocked into silence for sixty seconds in an emotional wreck. My feelings are now totally conflicted due to her damn words. I cry in horrible little chocked sobs. I've never in my life had a panic attack and now I think I know what it feels like. While I try to stop crying it can't breath, properly and it scares me. Just when I think I've got myself together I start choke crying again. It's only five minutes until we have to get to the train stations and I've finally stopped my pathetic sobbing. In one corner of the room is a small sink and mirror.
I look horrible. My makeup has smeared sending black streaks running down my face. So much for the "water proof" mascara. I should have worn less eyes line. In a hurry I star rinsing my puffy eyes. After about three minutes of vigorously splashing water in my face, all the makeup has come off and my eyes look less swollen. My face is a bit red and not to mention wet, but it's an improvement to where I was three minutes ago. It take a few more minutes to get my hair back to looking presentable. Just one quick drying off of my face with my shirt and I'm ready to go when a guard comes to take me to the train station.
Hope you enjoyed my chapter! I did some major editing from the original I had of this chapter so I hope it was good. As always, thank you so much for reading this!