Chapter Four – A Little Knight Music

Pete Ross sat at his keyboard, breathing a sigh of relief that he no longer had to write songs for all the occupants of Heaven. But despite that he was still occupied 110 with songs for the people of Smallville. As a result he didn't even notice when a demon suddenly appeared behind him.

"Hey, Pete, I'm back. Where's my queen?"

Pete looked at his watch, wondering how the 25 hours had gone so soon. Then he turned away from his keyboard to face the demon and suddenly Smallville fell silent outside.

"I need more time," he pleaded.

"You haven't found me a queen yet?" asked the demon aghast. "All this time you've been mystically linked to the people of Smallville, orchestrating their lives, and no-one suitable's turned up?"

"Well, actually there is a queen in Smallville for you," Pete pointed out. "I just haven't found her yet."

"Isn't that what I just said?" asked a confused demon.

"No," explained Pete Ross, holding up a copy of The Torch that Chloe had dropped off earlier that day. "Take a look at this."

The demon looked at the headline: Who Is Insect Queen?

"So, you've actually gone to the trouble of finding me a real queen?" responded the demon. "Got to say, I'm impressed. To tell the truth I would have settled for a cute waitress."

"Trouble is I don't know where she is?" admitted Pete. "Looks like she only turns up when danger is near, although I've already taken some steps to make sure that happens."

"Okay, kid. Well, be careful. I don't want her dead. Twenty-five more hours, but no longer and then I'll be back."

"Thanks," said Pete, but it was too late as the demon had already vanished. Getting back to his keyboard, Pete decided to up the danger.

Lana Lang made her way through the many rooms upstairs in the Luthor ancestral home looking for Lionel. She wanted to know why he'd made Smallville sing and, more importantly, why she'd been left out. She had a great singing voice. Didn't Smallville deserve to hear her? Admittedly she would have overshadowed everybody else, but she was used to that.

Finally, she came across a large door that, truth to tell, had only been magically created by Pete Ross earlier that day. Pushing the door open she saw the largest room that could possibly be, filled with dollar bills. But that wasn't all, for lining the walls were numerous glass cases containing all sorts of things from a car with wings to a broomstick to a set of dolls' clothes to a stuffed Oompa Loompa.

And then a sound from above attracted her attention, and, looking up, Lana saw Lionel leaping from a diving board into the money below.

As Lionel splashed into the money below, and then started to wallow in it, Lana gave a cough in order to attract his attention. This worked and soon he was singing to Lana, asking her to look at his stuff - wasn't it neat? Wouldn't she think his collection's complete? Would she think he's the guy who had everything?

While Lionel continued his song, Lana suddenly realized the twisted turn it was taking and that the thing he really needed for his collection (the thing that every evil person in Smallville seemed to want) was Lana herself. But there no way she was going to be part of his world and started turning on her heel to leave.

That was when Lionel changed his tune.

"Isn't it rich?" he observed. "Aren't we a pair?"

Lana's mind suddenly jumped ahead in the song, and, realizing what he was about to do, she started to run away as fast as she could from Lionel.

"Send in the clones?" pondered Lionel, as he heard Lana Lang's rapid footsteps in the hallway outside suddenly stopping. Presumably she'd come across the batch of Adam Knights he'd created earlier.

Lionel laughed as he heard Lana's screams. "Don't bother, they're here."

"What' the matter, Lana?" asked the Adams in perfect synchronization. "Do we scare you so much?"

"No," she said, although she was lying, and threw herself sobbing into the arms of as many Adams as she possibly could. "It's just that I thought you were dead. But now that you're back again you make me see there's nobody for me but you. Nothing to compare with you. I want to be with you forever."

"You mean?" asked the Adams, beginning to succumb to Lana's infinite charms.

Lana nodded, hoping she could turn this singing plague to her advantage for once.

As Lana and the Adams marched out of Lex's home, with the Adams singing a rousing rendition of "There is nothing like Adams. Nothing in the world. There is nothing you can name that is anything like Adams," Lana took the opportunity to slip away unnoticed.

"Hey," said the Adams as one, suddenly noticing Lana's absence. "Where's she gone?"

"She's tricked us," they replied to each other.

"Lana Lang must die!"

Lana ran towards the Kent farm hoping that Clark might be able to help her with the Adams. Of course he didn't possess any marvelous powers like she did, but she was getting kind of desperate. Suddenly she came across Clark wearing a leather jacket and sunglasses. He also had a pulsating red bulge in his pocket but he was no doubt just pleased to see her.

"Hey, Clark. What's with the shades?"

"Hey, Lana. What's with the endless whining about your parents' deaths?" Kal responded.

"Clark!" Lana exclaimed, tears filling her eyes. "How could you be so heartless? You know how that meteorite –"

"Rock!" interrupted Kal.

"Yes, that rock," continued Lana, slightly confused by Clark's interruption. "You know how it came whizzing from the sky –"

"Swoosh!" interrupted Kal again, in the same cold unemotional voice as previously.

Lana tried to ignore his interruption and carried on: "- and hit my parents –"

"Squish!"

Wiping the tears from her eyes, Lana bravely struggled on: "- wiping out their very existence –"

"Aargh!"

"- and leaving me alone and eternally sad."

"Misery!"

"Apart from that," added a sobbing, angry Lana, "every boyfriend I get turns out to be a freak. Present company included."

"Misfits!"

"Exactly," Lana agreed.

"Rock! Swoosh! Squish! Aargh! Misery! Misfits!" repeated Clark, and then repeated it once again. He grabbed Lana's wrist tightly, so tightly that she squealed in pain as she fell to the ground, and then he launched into song.

"You've had it coming. You've had it coming. You've had it coming since we met! And now I've got you, I think I'll kill you. That's a promise and not a threa-"

And then Kal-El looked aghast as Lana Lang suddenly disappeared.

Still, it didn't matter. She was just a human – small and insignificant. No, it did matter - she'd made a fool of him.

"Lana Lang must die!"