December 25th
Bella,
Merry Christmas Bella. I hope you have a great day with your family. I heard Phil and Renee were coming. I hope everything works out okay with that. I wish we were able to celebrate Christmas together. I had this year's Christmas planned. I would make you breakfast in bed – your favourite, eggs. I would have then gently placed a soft kiss on your lips and wished you a Merry Christmas. Then was as you would eat breakfast. I'd then give you a present and listen as you moaned about me getting you a gift. I'd watch your face as you unwrapped the present and opened up the box it is in. It was a necklace with the letter 'E' as to remind you of me all the time. Then I'd give you another kiss and tell you I'd see you later as you had to spend the morning with your family.
But we can't do that and I'm truly sorry. Sorry that we cannot celebrate this day together. Carlisle came to check on you the other week. I told him not to but you know what he's like. He told me that you were not coping with me being gone very well. He told me that you weren't happy. He heard you crying yourself to sleep on some nights and heard you moaning in your sleep what you had done wrong that had caused me to want to leave you. Listen love, it wasn't anything you did that caused me to leave. I left because I wasn't able to protect you, I need you to understand that.
I hate what you're doing to yourself. Seriously Bell, you need to move on from this. It's not healthy to be living like this. Carlisle heard Charlie say that you were walking around like a Zombie. It scares me to hear that love. Please, please live your life how you were supposed to, not like this. Please Bells, for me.
I haven't moved on. I never will but it's becoming easier for me now. I can manage to get through some days now. You will be glad to hear that I have been eating again. I can imagine the smile on your face when you read that.
I beg of you Bella, please try and move on you. I don't want you to become hollow and empty because of me. I'm not worth it, but you are. Please Bella, please.
Love always,
Edward