Disclaimer: NCIS Los Angles does not belong to me. But as I've said before, I can always bring the characters out to play. I'll put them back in good shape, I promise!

Anything in bold face type italics and quotes is an actual line from one of the episodes from the show. There are too many to list here but they are from most of the seasons of the show.

Reviews are always welcome. If you are enjoying this story, especially this chapter, or even if you're not, leave a review on the way out and let me know why. I welcome your thoughts.

Enjoy.

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CHAPTER 4: Her Beautiful Mind

What's going on in that beautiful mind

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I can usually read Kensi like a book. When it comes to work or how she is feeling, it's pretty much all the time which is good because otherwise, we both would have died several times over. But there are times away from work when that beautiful mind is completely closed off to me. Those are the times she has a look on her face that mystifies me and I can't tell what she's thinking. I wish I knew what memories she's reliving when that happens. At those times, she looks sad or frightened; or even worse, resigned to her fate somehow.

When she looks sad, I think she's remembering who broke her heart. When she looks afraid, I think it's because she thinks I'll leave her like all the other men in her life have done. She actually begged me to promise to not get myself killed and leave her. I did, though that isn't really something I can control. I'll do my damnedest not to die on her though. I told her I would never willingly leave her. It's the best I can do.

It's the 'resigned to her fate' look I hate the most because it makes me think that I'll never get through to her. That I'll never be able to show her just how much I love her and that I will never convince her that I will never willingly leave her. But I'll keep trying for as long as it takes to make her believe it.

I thank God every day that Hetty made me her partner; even on those days I'm not sure I believe in God. Kens can sometimes be so reckless without regard for her own safety that I've made it my job as her partner to make sure she's okay. I've come to the conclusion that it is one of the reasons Hetty recruited me. Kens and I make a great team, an awesome team. That doesn't mean I've stopped being my wise-ass self. She would know something is wrong if I change the way I act around her so I continue giving her nicknames, taking innocent remarks she makes and convincing her I'm having lewd thoughts about what she said by raising an eyebrow or throwing quips and smart-ass comments her way on a regular basis. Besides, it's just so much fun!

I can get a rise out of her by giving her a smirk, a look and then saying something like "Kensalina, if you need help with your date, I can…". She gets this look of sheer terror on her face that I'm going to say something lewd or figure out how much she enjoys my banter. She will respond with a variation of the words "In your dreams Deeks." or "You're so weird." She oftentimes then punches me. My shoulder is her favorite target and I let her think it hurts a lot more than it does when she hits me. One time she hit me with a laser knife. Now that hurt like a bitch!

Like I said before she drives me crazy on a regular basis because she just doesn't know when to quit or how to accept help. I know she's never done any deep undercover work but with short-term covers, she's amazing. Since she's the only woman on the team, she's usually the one used as a honey-trap or a distraction when we're trying to get close to some scum bag. I hate it when she has to do that. It makes my skin crawl to see some low-life pawing at her so I can't imagine how it makes her feel. I know she can take care of herself, but she shouldn't have to put up with that nonsense. But it's her job and she does it well.

Hetty sends her to wardrobe for the clothes needed to become her cover. When she finally re-appears she dazzles me and makes my head spin. She is an absolutely stunning woman. I know I've said that before but it's worth repeating. It isn't because she's hot, which she is. It's more than that, so much more. I find her to be the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. 'Hot' doesn't cover the totality of Kensi Blye. Her mismatched eyes are a wonder and usually full of mischief. When she's angry, they smolder like a fire that has burned down to glowing coals. When she laughs she has this adorable cackle which makes me smile every time I hear it or even think about it. It's my favorite sound in the whole world.

When Hetty puts her in heels, her legs look like they go on forever. And her mind; well she's one of the smartest women I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. She can do so many things so well and that takes a great mind. Let's not talk about her cooking skills though. She must have been hiding the day those skills were passed out is all I can say. It's a good thing I can cook, or she would live on junk food or starve. At least she's let me cook for her.

What can I say. I'm totally stuck, smitten, whatever you want to call it, with her.

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She's all woman with a figure that any woman would envy but how she keeps that figure is a mystery for the ages. I have never seen a woman eat as much as she does. She's very vocal when she eats too, letting out moans of pleasure while stuffing her face. She's addicted to junk food, preferably junk food with a high sugar content. Kensi Blye without her sugar fix is a disaster waiting to happen. I know when she needs sugar and what she's craving. I try to bring her donuts every morning and I keep a secret stash with all of her favorite junk food in one of the empty lockers by the bullpen. I value my life, thank you very much.

One time when I had to be at the LAPD for a briefing, Sam and Callen were caught unprepared for the tornado that is Kensi when she needs some sugar. You would think they would know how to handle her by now. I mean, come on! They've known her a lot longer than I have, but I guess they don't pay as much attention to her as I do or else they've forgotten since I've been around.

I must have received 30 texts from the guys begging for my help with Kensi in the four hours I was gone. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall in OSP that day. It sounded like she had already terrorized them before Sam texted me the first time. I wasn't able to respond to the texts since I was in a meeting with Lt. Bates, but as soon as I got a break, I read them and each one was more pathetic than the previous one. Every one of them sounded like both men where cowering before the almighty Tornado Kensi and in fear of their lives.

I took pity on them, really I did; hey, us guys have to stick together you know, the bro code and all. I texted them to get some Kitkats out of my secret stash when she wasn't looking and put them in front of her. I don't want her to know where I hide her treats. She'll eat them all within a day and I don't want to have a diabetic partner on my hands. Besides I couldn't afford it if she knew where my stash was and I had to replace it on a daily basis.

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When I got back to the office, both Sam and Callen looked like they had been rode hard and put away wet. I stood there in the bullpen grinning at them without saying a word then raised my eyebrows. Before I could get a word out Sam sighed and pointed "She's on the shooting range practicing castration on the targets. For a minute I thought she was going to castrate us!"

Callen broke in "How do you handle her on a daily basis?"

All I could do was shake my head at them. "You two big macho men…well Callen, you're a medium macho man anyway; and you're both so afraid of Kens who has got to weigh all of about 130 pounds? Really? Between the two of you, you must have 200 pounds on her and you couldn't handle her for four hours? Seriously?" By this time, I'm trying really hard not to laugh in their faces. "And you two don't know what she's like when she needs sugar, honestly? You've known her a lot longer than I have. What don't you know about her eating habits by now? Didn't the Kitkats work?"

"Yeah, they worked, but then she was mad because we wouldn't give her the whole box. I mean isn't three Kitkats a day enough?" Sam was holding his head in his hands like he had the world's worst headache.

I couldn't help myself then. I busted up laughing at them. "Hell no three isn't enough, she eats that many before breakfast most mornings. It's a good thing I'm here now and know how to keep her satisfied." I wiggled my eyebrows at them, put a shit-eating grin on my face and was shaking my head in disbelief as I continued "How did you two ever handle her before I came along?"

"Carefully man, very carefully" Callen interjected. "She is seriously scary when she needs a sugar fix. I just…I guess I had forgotten about how mad she can get when she's sugar deprived until now."

"Well, I'll go see how she's doing. Maybe I can calm her down before you two big babies have to see her again." Man I was having fun with those two. I began walking toward the range as both Callen and Sam stared at me in disbelief.

"You're actually going to go into the same room with Kensi when she has a gun, and she's mad as a wet hen?" Sam had an incredulous look on his face as he continued. "You're braver than I ever gave you credit for. Either that or you're dumber than I thought. It's been nice knowing you." His eyes were huge as he watched me walk away.

"Haha, Sam. Nice one" I retorted as I kept walking.

As I approached the door to the range, I heard Hetty state "Maybe, he just knows his partner better than you think he does, Mr. Hanna." I started chuckling as I heard Sam sputter and ask how she was always able to sneak up on them. I've wondered that myself on many occasions, but I had something more important to do at the moment.

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Before I actually walked into the shooting range, I watched as Kensi demolished another paper target. The guys were right. She was aiming for the nom de plumes as she finished up with each target. She was hitting them right where she wanted to as well. Of course, I would have been surprised if she had missed.

I walked into the shooting range and got her attention before asking "Hey Sugarbear, what are you doing in here?"

"What does it look like I'm doing Deeks? Playing 'Tiddledy Winks'?" Ooh, yeah, she's was beyond pissed at the moment.

"It looks like you're thinking about unmanning Callen and Sam. I just had the pleasure of talking to them and they still aren't over this morning. You really scared them."

"Good. They were being mean to me, Deeks. They wouldn't give me any more Kitkats and I know there were more in the box. They're lucky I came in here instead of shooting them." She thought about it for a minute and then continued "Hetty wouldn't have been happy if I shot one of them either."

"I have a treat for you. Do you want it?"

She whipped her head around at the word 'treat'. Seeing the peanut butter cups in my hand, a huge smile lit up her face. She set her gun down and went to grab them from me, but I held them above my head where she couldn't reach.

"Deeks, come on, give them to me." came out with a growl.

"Now wait just a second Kens; I'll give you your treat when you tell me what has you so upset. I know it's not Sam and Callen, so what's really bothering you."

"You told…you…I'm not…you know what, I don't want to talk about it."

"Kensalina…come on, tell Uncle Marty why you're castrating those targets." I gave her a leer as I called myself 'Uncle Marty'. "You know you want your treat so tell me what's wrong." So sue me because I was teasing her. It's our banter, it's what we do. "Did you miss me? Is that why you're upset? It is, isn't it? You just can't get enough of me. Come on admit it, you think I'm awesome!"

"You are such a perv! I didn't miss you Deeks. Not at all. And…and you're okay I guess, but I wouldn't call you awesome. You get on my last nerve on a regular basis." I could tell she was struggling to say something else and it broke my heart that she could be so scared about opening up to me. I just stood there in front of her looking deep into her eyes and trying to convey the fact she could trust me. She finally continued "I…I…I was just worried when you were gone for so long. I thought you had to go undercover again."

"Come here." I pulled her into my arms and tucked her head under my chin as I apologized. "Kens, I'm sorry I worried you." I then handed her the peanut butter cups. "I would have told you right away if I had to go undercover. I promised you after the last time it happened and I was ordered not to tell you that I wouldn't do it again. I'd rather be fired than lie to you." I bent down and tilted her head up so I could look into her gorgeous polychrome eyes and gave her a smile. I so wanted to kiss her right then, but I didn't know what she would do and I valued my life; so I just tucked a loose strand of her hair behind her ear "I'm okay, really…no undercover assignment, just reporting to my LAPD boss."

Her head went down as she began opening the package. I could see a small smile begin to form as she smelled the chocolate. "I know" she whispered w "but I still worry." Stuffing the entire peanut butter cup into her mouth, she closed her eyes while giving a low moan of pleasure. I love the way she is so vocal when she eats something she loves. It's more sassy than classy, but that's Kensi and I love her just the way she is.

Yep, I've finally admitted to myself that I love her. I haven't told her yet though. I don't want to ruin our 'thing'. And, I don't want her running away in fear. I guess I don't know how to get the words to come out of my mouth the right way either. Both of us have that in common though. We have trouble communicating our feelings. Besides, what if she doesn't feel about me the way I feel about her? Why would she, anyway? I'm nothing special, I'm just a cop. I'm a damn good cop, but I'm not even a federal agent. I'm not sure what she sees in me, but sometimes when she looks at me, I feel like I'm on top of the world. I guess I'm just a coward.

After she demolished the first cup, she looked at me with a twinkle in her eyes "Thanks Shaggy, I needed this."

"Any time sweetums, any time." I couldn't resist throwing out a new nickname for her and was rewarded with a snort.

"Sweetums? Who calls someone sweetums? You're so weird Deeks!" She was laughing now and I knew she was feeling better about everything. It made me happy that I was the one able to make her laugh.

"So did you really have to terrorize Callen and Sam?" I was shaking my head at her. "You know they texted me about 30 times while I was meeting with Bates? They were begging me to do something about you."

"They didn't do that… did they? Come on, I wasn't that bad." Kensi rolled her eyes as she thought about what she had been like. Then she got this look like she was going to have loads of fun teasing them about being afraid of her. I couldn't wait to sit back and watch. This was going to be fun! "What are you planning Kiki? You have that look in your eyes like you're planning something."

"That's because I am. Want to help?" When I nodded yes, she continued. "Come on partner. Let's go see the guys." Kensi grabbed my arm and began hauling me out of the target range.

"Aren't you going to clean your gun first?" I teased her. Bad Ass Blye would never leave her gun without cleaning it." I snickered "Besides I want to be there for a ring-side seat before you start in on the guys. Let me get back and get settled in before you light into them."

"Okay, but you better hurry, because I'll be there in about five minutes, Deeks." Kensi went to the armory while I went back to my desk and prepared myself for the upcoming fire works.

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Sam and Callen looked up as they heard me coming with questioning looks on their faces. "You can relax guys. I've talked her down from the ledge. She's not going to hurt you." I said laughing as I sat down.

"Very funny Deeks" Sam groused. "We weren't scared, were we G? We were just worried about her."

"Really? Because I didn't get the feeling you were worried about her from the 30, count them 30, texts, I got from you two while I was with Bates. I mean, who does that? Oh, let me guess, obviously you two. There was begging involved guys, seriously, begging!"

"You're delusional Deeks." Callen backed up Sam like I knew he would. They were partners after all.

I just leaned back in my chair, put my hands behind my head and looked at them smirking. I could hear Kensi getting closer and could tell the minute Sam caught sight of her. He got very interested in the report on his desk as soon as she appeared. Callen grabbed his phone like he was going to call someone. I don't know who they thought they were kidding with their little act. Oh man, was this going to be good.

Kensi walked up to her desk and stood there glaring across at both of them until they looked up at her like naughty little boys caught doing something they weren't supposed to. "So," she began. "I hear you two were texting Deeks about me while he was with Bates. Care to elaborate?"

Callen looked up at Kensi "I don't know what you're talking about, Kens. We've been working the whole time he was gone."

I couldn't believe Callen was going to play dumb! Giving him another smirk, I just handed Kensi my phone so she could see the texts as Callen gave me a dirty look.

Kensi's eyes lit up as she proceeded to quote from the texts while both Callen and Sam started blushing. I just sat back and enjoyed the show. She finally took pity on them and handed my phone back. She then sat down and we all got back to work.

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