A/N: Just because I have this extreamly beautiful and intelligent best friend I've decided to publish this chapter – which she has of course already read – just to torture her.. hehe!

Aaah… and I want to add that when reading the last chapter for the hundred th time I realized I'm not happy with it, I forgot so many times to use "prongs, moony and wormtail" instead of "james, remus and peter" and often wrote Lily instead of Evans and Marlene instead of McKinnon .. but I'm not used to writing them by their surnames so you'll have to forgive me!

And now its Lily's turn and thankfully she calls mostly everyone by their first names, hehe ;)

And yes I wanna add that I just want to tell you the first bit in the chapter is in Marlene's Pov! Then the chapter really begins and you get Lily!

Marlene McKinnon

I wonder how the hell I got here. Well I know how I got here inside the Room of Requirements because I gave in to him again. But how did I get into his arms?

Usually when he's 'done with me', I know makes me sounds like a whore, but I'm not… it's just how he roles, he collapses beside me, or at least rolls off me (or rolls me off him) but now, he actually held me in his arms. What the hell?

It almost feels like the summer before fifth year, back then he used to hold me and tell me I was beautiful – not that we were in a relationship then, he just appreciated what I did for him and he didn't leave right after, but in the end he always did, and then fifth year came and this summer, the summer before sixth year, I used to sneak out to meet him. Sneak out to the Potter Manor because he stayed there for the most of the summer, or meet him somewhere else if he got scared that James would notice. Everything really just went down hill since we started school in fifth year and this year seems to end up the same.

Also, I know we aren't exclusive, well I don't see other people but it wouldn't be the firs time I'd smell some girls perfume on him or see that his neck was filled with either trade marks off glossy lipstick or disgusting hickies.

Sometimes I think he just likes to hurt me, but it's all right because I know I sometimes like to hurt him too.

Chapter 4

Lily Evans

I often wonder how I let Marlene get into so much trouble with Sirius. I mean it can't be healthy when a (almost) sixteen year old spends every night trying to make her best friend love her, like she loves him. Or at least that's what I think is the reason for why she does it.

Marlene and I have had millions of fights over her and Sirius so I try my best to stay out of it, but I'll never be like Mary or Alice.

Mary fights for Marlene all the time, she's not afraid of telling Alice to go to places that shouldn't be named, if she pisses Mary off when she's trying to hold a lecture over Marlene about Sirius.

So Alice is the "Mom" or whatever, she's a perfect prefect and always takes it upon her self to stop Marlene and Sirius and hold the lectures.

Marlene has been my best friend for three years (we became friends in second year, when I stopped hanging JUST with Severus) and with her came Mary, Alice and Emmeline (even though they had been my roommates for a year, I really didn't know them until I became Marlene's friend) but I never became that close to the Marauders, I mean its good talking to Remus, but Potter keeps stalking me. And Peter doesn't really say anything to me and Sirius is hurting my best friend. And did I say, Potter is stalking me?

Marlene, James and Sirius have been best friends since first year (I'm not sure though, if Marlene and Sirius are still friends) and I think Marlene even stayed with James (and Sirius) at James's house for a week or two the summer before fifth year – which is when Lene&Sirius "Happened" or "started" or whatever.

But I think deep inside – okay not so deep inside – she likes what they're doing, makes her feel like he wants her. I just wish Sirius could be normal and could show her he wants her in a more normal way than… how they're doing it.

Anyways, believe it or not, our lifes don't just revolve around them two. We all have our problems. I have one stalker called James Potter and he won't understand, even though I've been trying to tell him for years, I do not fancy to go out with him! Geez!

And my sister hates me and I sometimes don't think my parents like me that much either…

I just lost my best friend because he called me a mudblood. My best friend! So my life is a mess, like everyone else's in our 'group'.

"Lily?" Marlene asks me as she opens the door to our dorm room.

"Out late?" I ask her and raise my eyebrow.

"We've been over this Lils, I can take care of myself." Marlene tells me and sits down on her bed and looks around "Are the others asleep?"

"Yep," I answer, my lip popping out at the 'p' in the end.

"Lily, can I tell you something?" Marlene asks then and I nod

"Of course Marley,"

"Well, this time it was really weird… I mean usually he leaves me, but for the last… okay two out off three times he's stayed and I've been the one leaving and today – or tonight, or this morning or what ever! I woke up in his arms!" Marlene exclaimed but quickly lowered her voice so the others wouldn't wake up "We don't cuddle… So it was quite the shock, and also, he's been more into using the Room of Requirements now, not broom closest, its weird."

"Uhm…" I try to find the right words to say, I'm so lost when it comes to Marlene sometimes.

"You don't really need to say anything Lils," Marlene sighs, like she could read my thoughts. "I just needed to get this of my chest. I think I'd better go to bed…"

"Yep, its almost 4 in the morning, I swear Black sure isn't good for your health M…"

"Of course he isn't," Marlene rolls her eyes but adds under her breath which I'm sure I'm not supposed to hear but of course I do; "But I'm good for his…"

–Hunting For Happiness –

Friday starts like all Friday's, I help Alice get Mary and Marlene (Emmeline is always already up and either still getting ready or already gone to breakfast) to get up, they are always extra sleepy on Fridays, and we shouldn't even talk or think about how they are on Mondays.

"I don't feel like going to DADA" Marlene murmurs into her pillow, "It's awkward having Black as my partner."

"Marlene, he isn't always gonna be your partner" Alice says "It was just for the last –"

"- Three classes!" Marlene cuts her off "Why should this one be any different!" The drama queen sits up in her bed and sighs.

"Oh, just get dressed! Let's hope there will be some breakfast left, I'm starving!" I say and laugh and Marlene and Mary both sigh but get dressed.

– Hunting for Happiness –

Breakfast was awkward as expected, James kept trying to make me agree to go with him to the next Hogsmeade trip and Marlene kept glancing at Sirius when we talked whom we were going to take.

Sirius never even looked at her – or if he did, he was damn good at hiding it; instead he just talked to Remus about something we didn't hear, because they talked seriously low.

"But, Lily –" Potter tries.

"No, Potter" I tell him quickly not even looking up from my food.

"Do you –" he continues but I cut him off again

"No."

"Wanna come –"

"No."

"With me-" "No!" "… To Hogsmeade?"

"Yes" "Bu-What?"

"No!" I yell loudly so he jumps back. "I will not."

"But Lily Kins –" Now I have had enough, I stand up with my wand in hand and boom over the whole Great Hall:

"DO NOT CALL ME THAT!"

"Lily, sit down!" Alice orders with her 'prefect voice'.

I growl but sit down and Potter scoots a little closer to Peter as if he is afraid of me. One point to Lily!

- Hunting for Happiness –

When Mary and Marlene and I walk together towards the Defense Against the Dark Arts together, Marlene seems to not be able to stop sweating about having to work with Sirius but used to it, Mary and I just roll our eyes and act as we are really interested in what she says.

"Lily!" A voice I very well know suddenly yells behind me and I freeze,

Mary and Marlene seem to recognize the voice as well because they both have scowls printed on their faces as they turn around but I stay still.

"Get lost," Marlene grits out

"Shut up McKinnon," he roars out and I feel the familiar touch of his ice cold hand touch mine as he whispers "Lily, please let me –"

"Let go!" I tell him and yank my hand away as I turn to face him "I don't want to talk to you Severus,"

"Lily, I'm so sorry –"

"You didn't seem sorry, I don't want to hear it, I told you that last year,"

"I miss you," he admits

"She told you to get lost, Snape." Mary tells him angrily.

"Just get the hell out of Lily's life Snivellus" Marlene tells him with a vicious tone

"Mind your business McKinnon," Severus sneers back.

"Lily is our business, she's not yours so get lost!" Mary tells again

"Fuck off filthy half blood –" Severus starts but before he can finish and I can't restrain my self anymore and before I can stop myself, my hand makes contact with his face

"Lily –" he starts again and rubs his red cheek, not even getting angry at me – which only makes me madder.

"How do you think I'll ever be able to forgive you!" I tell him, tears forming in my eyes "When I try to help you, you call me a … mudblood and when you try to apologize you call my best friend filthy half blood! Go hang out with your 'real' friends Sev, because we can't be friends because I don't want to be your friend!" I tell him and then want to kick my self in the arse for calling him Sev, we're not friends anymore - he's Severus or Snape to me now.

"Lily-"

But I don't listen to him and just let Marlene and Mary take my hands and drag me away and together we run towards the DADA classroom.

"Are you okay?" Marlene asks me as we step into the classroom.

I nod my head and turn to Mary "I'm sorry he –"

"Lily, people calling me half blood really doesn't hurt me, it's not as bad as calling people mudblood – that is disgusting and hurtful, half blood doesn't hurt."

"I still can't believe he called you 'filthy half blood'! He him self isn't a pure blood! He's just as much 'half blood' as you!"

"I know, I know," Mary says comfortingly.

"Are you okay Lily?" suddenly Remus asks behind us.

"Why is Lily sad?" Potter asks and I fight the urge to also slap him in the face like I slapped Severus.

"I'm fine!" I snap at the same time as Professor Aldrin tells us all to find our seats.

- Hunting for Happiness –

In class we all try to act as everything is okay between all of us – and by all of us I mean the nine of us, the former best friends, but nothing is and has been the same since Marlene and Sirius decided to start shagging, not that we blame them or anything, it's just… they are the reason why our group has kind off split. Because believe it or not, we used to be all glued together, even Emmeline (no one knows what's going on with her and she doesn't want to tell us so we just stopped asking.) but now Marlene hardly hangs out with Potter, Remus or Peter if Sirius is with them. I don't like hanging around Potter, but I used to suck it up for Marley when they were all friends, Emmeline thinks we're all being childish – but like I said, she almost never hangs out with us when we're not in class so who is she to judge? And Alice… well she is just going bullocks over how we act. I don't know what the marauders think, but I think that sometimes Sirius wishes he had never kissed (or slept with) Marlene that summer and maybe then they'd still be something. I'm not even sure if they can even be called friends with benefits, because sometimes they are so not friends. Especially not in Defense Against the Dark Arts class.

Professor Aldrin had decided we would still stick with our partners which meant Marlene and Sirius were stuck together, but luckily I had been paired with Emmeline, which I both enjoyed and was nervous about because she really is drifting from everyone and I don't really know her anymore, but I'd like to know her – or you know, know the new her.

"Do you think they'll murder each other this time?" Emmeline asks me as we continue to practice disarming spells on each other.

"Probably – Expeliarmus!" I laugh as she ducks from my spell.

"Well, let's hope they won't." Emmeline says and sends a spell my way but I already had my Protego shield up.

We turn our attentions for a moment at Marlene and Sirius who stare – no, glare at each other both with their wands raised and Sirius seems to be saying something we can't hear.

"I wouldn't like to be Sirius, right now." Emmeline laughs, "Marlene has that crazy I'm-going-to-kill-you-and-chop-you-into-little-bits-and-then-send-your-remainings-home-to-your-parents-in-a-box-with-a-big-bow-on-it-glare on her face, doesn't she?"

I smile, Emmeline is really weird but its so lovable, I guess I really miss it… or her, I miss her even though we never were that close…

I smile at Emmeline just a bit sadly, but then look at Marlene and realize Emmeline is really right. "This can't be good…" I sigh as we walk closer to them to hear what they're rowing about.

"Well wouldn't you have fun with that – EXPELIARMUS!" Marlene all but screamed and shot her wand towards Sirius, but her spell didn't hit him, but the wall behind him.

"Well, it's not like I don't find you in my bed every night McKinnon," he tells her viciously "Makes you a bit pathetic, doesn't it?"

"Me?" Marlene exclaims "Me, the pathetic one? That's rough coming from you! The one who told me; 'I need someone to care, so much, because I feel so alone, Mars.'" Marlene mocks, her tone matching the vicious tone Sirius's voice had. "That's what you said that time before fifth year, before you turned into a huge douche!" Marlene yells and once again shoots a spell towards him.

"Well at least I don't hang around with bloody Slytherin's –" Sirius breathes out angrily but Marlene cuts him off.

"And I do? You're talking about your brother aren't you? I've talked to Regulus once! Because I – for some bloody stupid reason - was actually worried about you!"

Sirius face falls a bit and his wand lowers.

"But you wouldn't care would you? You don't care that I might actually care about you a little bit! No, because all you want is to shag and drop –"

"Marlene stop," I meddle, even though I had promised my self I'd meddle as little as possible, but this was going to far and I know she doesn't want everyone to know that the rumors are true.

"Well you come back every time don't you McKinnon!"

"Well someone has too!"

"Just admit it, you come back every time cause you need someone to act like they care - ever since your dad left, that's the main reason you slept with me in the first place!"

Marlene's face turns into a stone for a splint second and everyone in the room has stopped dueling to stare at them.

Sirius seems to realize he might have taken it to far this time and begins "Mars I-"

"Save it." She tells him, her voice cold like ice. "Don't try to convince your self that you are doing this for me. We both know you needed me at that time, I don't know why I keep coming back. But admit it Sirius Black, you are weak."

Sirius voice turns cold as well, "Why do I keep making myself go through this? You're bloody bullshit, you know that? I think I understand now why he left you."

Over striking silence fills the room, even Professor Aldrin doesn't know what to say.

Marlene stares at Sirius and she doesn't even seem angry anymore, she seems mortified.

Sirius once again sees that he has stepped over the line and starts: "Mars, I-"

But again, she doesn't let him finish, the sound of the slap chimes around the room as Marlene's palm makes contact with Sirius's face.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed reading the chapter of course, it took a long time to write it and it's around six scenes and most of them are really long so I hope you do appreciate the effort! Hehe … now all there's left for you to do is hit that little button down there and tell me in short or long words what you thought off this chapter, I know some of you might not be happy about the loss of Lily/James but I promise there will be, but you have to keep in mind they did not start dating until their seventh year ;)

p.s. Sig you owe be a review for this chapter luve!