Summary: Sue Sylvester forces the Glee club to get up on their parenting skills now that she's pregnant giving each of the kids a life like baby to take care of for a week. Samcedes. Sam/Mike/Puck friendship. Various Glee friendships.
Miss Pillsbury looked up from her desk to see Noah Puckerman and Tina Cohen-Chang entering her office. Frowning, she put aside the files she was currently going through and placed her hands on her desk, "Hey...why are you guys in here?" She was use to seeing Puck in the office due to the fact he was always in trouble and seeking guidance but Tina was a different story. She thought the Asian girl was doing good in school especially since her and her boyfriend overcame their little problem with his father. "Please...have a seat." They did as she said, both of them sending each other an angry glare.
"We need your help, Miss Pillsbury..." Tina began as she sighed, "You see Puck and I..."
"Oh my god!" The ginger exclaimed as she looked between the two teens. "Are you guys together now?" She asked before getting up to turn to her shelf with the pamphlets on it. "I have been waiting for this day for awhile now! This means Noah has hooked up with all the original glee club girls!" She clapped her hands excitedly before turning to look at the shocked teen, "I've been saving this one especially for you!"
Puck leaned forward and took the pamphlet from her, quirking a brow as he looked down and read it, "'So you conquered all the girls in your class, time to settle down you man whore'." He looked up at her angrily, "Hey! I am not a man whore! I just have a lot of love to give and the chicks dig me! I can't help it if they all want the Puckasaurus!"
"We are not messing around with each other!" Tina exclaimed with a look of disgust. "I'm with Mike...I love Mike! I would never mess around with Puck!"
"And why not? What's wrong with me?"
"You're just the biggest idiot ever!"
"Don't talk to the father of your baby like that!"
Miss Pillsbury shot them a confused look as they continued to yell at each other. That's when she spotted the baby carrier by Tina's chair and frowned. When did Tina have a baby? When did Tina have a baby with Puck? She was the most horrible counselor if she hadn't noticed that the girl was pregnant these past 9 months. "Please tell me that's not your guys baby..."
Puck stopped yelling at Tina to turn his anger towards Miss Pillsbury, "Yes! And she's being the most difficult baby momma I have ever had! And I've only had one before so this puts her," He pointed angrily at his partner, "At the top of my list for 'baby momma from Hell'!"
"Miss Pillsbury, I cannot work with this guy! He wanted to name it the most ridiculous things and he wanted to put it on the most dangerous motorcycles! How am I suppose to trust him alone with Johnny? I want to ace this assignment but he is making this difficult for me!"
"Oh so wanting to see the baby is making it 'difficult' for you? I have a baby! I totally know what I'm doing and if you would just give me a chance...!"
"Guys!" Miss Pillsbury held up her hands as the teens quieted and stared at her, "I am beyond confused right now because you told me you're not together and yet you have a baby..."
Tina sighed, "It's a doll. Mr. Schue and Ms. Sylvester gave us these dolls to practice our parenting and it's also points towards our community service or whatever and Puck is my partner...a.k.a the father of my child." she explained, "But all we have been doing is arguing and we need to come to an agreement or this week is going to be Hell for both of us and Johnny."
"Oh." Miss Pillsbury said as she let out a sigh of relief. "Ok well this is more odd than Mercedes and Sam coming in for non-couple counseling..." The two teens shot her look of confusion. "Long story. Anyways I think it's because you two haven't really spent time together that it's like this for you. I mean I know you both are in glee club but have you guys actually ever really hung out and talked?"
They glanced at each other as Puck shrugged, "Not really. I was dealing with my Quinn problems, my Santana problems, then my Mercedes problems...then my Lauren problems. And in between that I was too busy hooking up with the other girls in school." Tina rolled her eyes at him. "But there was one time that I did consider hooking up with Tina..."
"Oh my god, Puck! Can you just once be a friends with a girl without wanting to 'get in her pants'?" The Asian exclaimed as she glared over at him, "See! This is what I mean, Miss Pillsbury! I don't trust Puck because I don't know Puck like that! I know what I've seen and heard and what I've seen and heard is that he is not a trustworthy person! Sure he has a baby already and he can be really sweet sometimes but that's not enough for me to leave him alone with Johnny!"
"You never even gave me a chance!" Puck replied. He looked angry but his voice held a certain sadness that caused Miss Pillsbury to frown. "I can do this. I know I can do this...I'm going to be a great father someday."
Tina bit her bottom lip, suddenly feeling really bad about how she treated him. The look in his hazel eyes were telling her that he wanted to do this; not to ace the assignment, but to show everyone that he's not a screw up like people think he is. Losing Beth was hard for him and he didn't have the chance to be a father to her.
"I think you two just need to trust that the both of you will both take great care of Johnny." Miss Pillsbury said as the two teens became silent. "Tina, you have to believe that Noah is going to be a responsible partner because he is trying. He wouldn't be here with you if he wasn't serious." The Asian looked down in shame. "And Noah, you have to show Tina that she can trust you. You two don't know much about each other and I think it's time you did. You guys have been in glee club together for this long and soon you guys will be graduating...do you really want to do that without knowing what great friends you two could have been?"
Puck sighed, "She's right. When I wasn't thinking about how you looked naked I was thinking what a cool person you seemed like." He glanced at Tina, "Plus me and Mike are boys and since I'm pretty sure you guys are going to get married and have Asian babies it's time that we knew more about each other."
She grinned, "I'd like that." Glancing down at Johnny's carrier she sighed, "I know I was iffy about it at first but I'd be honored if you watched him tonight while I helped Mercedes at her church. I know you guys are doing it at Mike's house but I trust that you'll be a great daddy to Johnny." That put a huge smile on his face. "Thanks for the advice, Miss Pillsbury!"
The ginger smiled as the pair got up and began making their way to the door, "No problem! If you ever need anything don't be afraid to come back! I upgrade my pamphlets everyday!" she shouted happily.
Mr. Schue grinned as Blaine made his way to the front of the room while Sugar sat in the front row with their doll in her arms. The couple said that they had a song they were ready to perform for their baby; well Blaine did...Sugar was going to hold Queen and just sway in the background because Blaine said if she sang then everyone's ears would bleed and he wouldn't be able to get his doll to be silent for hours.
"As a new and proud father of mine and Sugar's baby girl Queen. I want to show my love and happiness by singing 'Crazy Little Thing Called Love' by Queen...as a dedication to our daughter." Blaine announced as he winked over at Sugar who grinned happily.
"I still cannot believe he is the father of Sugar's baby." Kurt said as he glanced over at his boyfriend's partner with jealousy.
"I still can't believe they named their daughter Queen." Sam replied as he shot the couple a weird look. Who names their kid Queen? Like seriously? Mercedes nodded in agreement before they turned their attention back to the front of the room.
"Hit it!" Blaine said as he ignored their comments. The band began playing as he grabbed the mic and began singing to his partner and their baby:
This thing called love I just can't handle it
this thing called love I must get round to it
I ain't ready
Crazy little thing called love
This (This Thing) called love
(Called Love)
It cries (Like a baby)
In a cradle all night
It swings (Woo Woo)
It jives (Woo Woo)
It shakes all over like a jelly fish,
I kinda like it
Crazy little thing called love
The glee club clapped along as Blaine danced around and serenaded Sugar and Queen. Sugar moved back and forth to the beat when he walked up to them and pointed to Queen:
There goes my baby
She knows how to Rock n' roll
She drives me crazy
She gives me hot and cold fever
Then she leaves me in a cool cool sweat
Everyone cheered on his dance moves while Sugar grabbed a bag from beside her seat and dug through it for something. Blaine was too busy dancing around the front of the room to notice that his partner was pulling out a small, furry red coat for Queen. She held it up causing everyone else in the room to stare at the atrocious thing in disgust.
I gotta be cool relax, get hip
Get on my track's
Take a back seat, hitch-hike
And take a long ride on my motor bike
Until I'm ready
Crazy little thing called love
Blaine turned to sing to her again until he noticed the thing on Queen and stopped dead in his tracks, "What is that?" He asked as he took in the furry thing with fear. The band stopped playing when they realized that he was no longer interested in performing his song. "What is that and why is it on my daughter?"
"I had my dad go out and get Queen a fuzzy coat like her mommy had on her party at the Sugar Shack!" Sugar squealed as she gushed at the thing she just put on the doll. "It is sooo cute and very fitting! Now she looks just like me!"
Blaine visibly paled at that, "Did you skin Elmo for that ugly thing?" he asked incredulously. His eyes scanned the red thing as he realized that Kurt was right about Sugar dressing their daughter like a baby prostitute.
She looked offended, "This is not ugly!"
"As a gay man I cannot allow that on my child!" He exclaimed, "It looks like you skinned a Muppet and put it on her and that's really depressing to me because I love Kermit the Frog!" Before Sugar could protest, he shot forward and took Queen in his arms. "Come to, daddy...don't worry I'll make sure you don't have nightmares of everyone from Sesame Street hunting you down for revenge!"
Mr. Schue quickly rose from his seat as everyone else in the glee club exchanged looks. "Ok...that's it for glee today! See you all tomorrow." He made a mental note to talk to Sue about these dolls because his class was becoming a war zone. Arguments on how to raise their babies broke out every five minutes and most of the kids were exhausted from the one night they had to take care of one already. He needed all of them sane and rested for Nationals!
Kurt got up and began gathering his things noticing Rory sadly watching him out of the corner of his eye as he began to pick up the Cher. He didn't know why he suddenly had a soft spot for the Irish boy...maybe it was the puppy dog look he would give him but he sighed and turned to his partner, "Would you like to come over my house later and watch Burlesque?"
Rory's face lit up as he grinned, "Sure! What's Burlesque?" he asked curiously. Kurt shot him a shocked look and that's when Rory knew that he was once again in trouble with his partner. It was the same look Kurt gave him when he asked who Cher was and since then he has been forced to listen to nothing but her songs.
"You poor deprived child you!" Kurt replied as he placed a hand on his chest and gave him a pity look. "Come over and I'll fix us some finger snacks and I will school you on movies Cher was also in..."
Rory gave him a worried expression, "Finger snacks? They aren't actual fingers are they?"
Kurt sighed then patted him on the head, "We'll make you some waffles..."
The Irish boy grinned, "I love waffles!"
It was after school and Mercedes knew Sam had football practice so she was left with Jacob till later that night when she would take him to Mike's house to be with Sam. The day was going well; with an occasional fit from Jacob but Sam was around to help her with that and for that she was grateful. She would have hated it if she was a single parent...she saw the effect it had on poor Finn. He had trouble making it through the day and it wasn't till Rachel and Quinn volunteered to watch Little Debbie at lunch time did he actually get some sleep.
"Hey!"
Mercedes jumped when her ex boyfriend Shane Tinsley leaned against the locker next to her, a huge grin on his face as he stared at her in amusement.
"Jesus, Shane! Make some noise next time!" She mentally kicked herself for allowing that to happen to her once again. She really needed to learn how to pay attention and not get lost in her thoughts, "What's up?" She asked, suddenly feeling bad for snapping at him.
He shrugged, "Haven't talked to you all day. Thought I'd say hi..." He glanced down at Jacob, a small frown forming on his face. "Cute. I heard that the glee club was forced into this parenting thing to these dolls..." He looked back at her and bit his lip, obviously wanting to say something else but not knowing if he should or not.
"Yep!" Mercedes grinned as she turned her attention back to her locker and put her books away. "I am the proud mommy of a baby boy!" She joked as she felt his eyes burn holes into her.
"And Sam's the daddy."
Her eyes snapped to him. It wasn't a question, it was statement. And he didn't look happy at knowing that Sam was playing fake daddy to her fake baby. She sighed as frustration began to build up in her. Why did he have to do this? She knew he was still a little raw over the break up and her cheating but they had become good friends and it was never awkward between them. She enjoyed his company. "Shane..don't..."
"I'm not doing anything." He replied, catching the annoyed tone in her voice. "I just find it funny how Sam of all people is your partner for this. I mean the guy went out of his way to wedge himself in between our relationship and now he's daddy to your baby..."
"It was randomly selected by Sue Sylvester. You sound as if Sam plotted and made this happen on purpose."
Her ex shrugged, "I wouldn't put it past him."
Mercedes slammed her locker and turned to glare at him, "You both are my friends now. I promise you nothing romantic is happening between me and Sam. I told him like I told you that I need some time for myself because what I did was horrible and I hate myself for how I was to you." She watched as he visibly softened at her words. "Now can we drop this?"
Shane nodded before leaning forward to pull her into a hug that she returned kindly. "I just miss you, Mercedes..."
"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." She pulled back from him and gave him a friendly smile before turning to pick up Jacob's carrier, stopping when she noticed that Sam was standing there watching them. Now when did he show up? She was about to greet him till she saw the hard expression on his face and she knew Sam well enough to know that he was not happy right now.
"Evans." Shane greeted as his eyes laid on the blonde boy.
"Tinsley." Sam replied with edge to his voice as he eyed the bigger man. "You forgot this." He held up Mercedes' bag that had all the stuff she needed for Jacob in it. The diva let out a sigh of relief before taking it from him but his eyes remained on Shane.
"Oh my god! Thank you so much, Sam! I would've been in trouble if I left this here!" She looked up at him with a grateful expression but it quickly went away when she realized his hasn't changed since he first saw them. He was pissed. It was the same look he had on Valentine's Day when she told him they couldn't be together. "Sam...?"
Without so much as a glance at her, Sam quickly turned and began to make his way down the hallway. She cursed under her breath before sending Shane an apologetic look and grabbed her carrier off the floor to follow her upset partner down the hall. He was being ridiculous once again and she'd be damned if she let him act like a stubborn brat without talking to her about what was wrong.
"Sam!" He ignored her and continued to walk away and she was starting to get annoyed. "Samuel Evans, I know you hear me!" When he turned to walk down another hallway, she sped up her pace but stopped when she almost ran into him when she turned the corner he went down. "What the heck, Sam!" She nearly crashed into his chest as he turned to glare at her.
"I don't get it!" He exclaimed angrily, throwing up his arms as he stared at her. "I just don't get it, Mercedes!"
"You don't get what? Why are you acting so weird?"
"I'm acting weird?" He asked incredulously as he let out a humorless chuckle, "I've done everything you wanted! You wanted time to find yourself and didn't want to be with me and I finally stopped forcing myself on you because I hated seeing you mad at yourself for what we did! You wanted to be friends...ok! I pushed my feelings aside so that at least I can still have that with you but I don't even have that!"
Mercedes looked at him in confusion, "What are you talking about? We're friends..."
"No!" He yelled, "Because you won't even hang out with me as a friend! You can't even be alone with me without having Quinn or someone around and yet with Shane..."
"So that's what this is about?" She asked angrily as she placed Jacob down and crossed her arms, "You're mad because I'm friends with Shane? I'm not going to just stop talking to him because you have some jealous fits!"
"No! I don't care that you're friends!" Ok maybe that was a little bit of a lie. Sam did mind that they were friends because that meant he was still sharing some of her with her ex but that wasn't the problem he was having now. "That...what you just did in the hall with him...why can't you do that with me?" He asked. "You won't even look at me sometimes, Mercedes! And it hurts like hell!" She frowned and looked away from his gaze. "See! And yesterday in my room you acted like you didn't even want to be around me! You can laugh and hug on Shane but not with me?"
"Sam..."
"It's like you're avoiding me and we're suppose to be friends! If it weren't for Jacob you probably wouldn't even be spending so much time with me!" Speaking of Jacob, Sam was surprised he hadn't started crying from all the yelling he was doing. He sighed and tried to calm his voice, "I don't like that you treat me like a stranger."
She looked back at him, "I'm not treating you like a stranger...you know I love you, Sam...its just..." She sighed and tried to think of an explanation as to why she was treating him the way she was. He was right. They were suppose to be friends but she still treated him like he was threat to her. But in honesty; after everything they've been through, she didn't know how to be just his friend anymore. It was easy with Shane...but Sam was a different story. "I don't know how..." She stopped when she noticed a very happy Puck coming down the hall towards them. He had sunglasses on while Johnny was strapped to his chest in a baby backpack. Him and Tina must have finally came to an agreement.
"Guys!" He exclaimed as he grinned at them, "Tina is letting me have him for the rest of the day!" He didn't notice the look of frustration on Sam's face at being interrupted. "This is totally gonna be a daddy and son day till tonight when we go over Mike's!"
"That's...uh...that's great, Puck!" Mercedes replied. She was relieved that he was there now but Sam looked like he didn't feel the same. "I'm glad that you and Tina aren't at each others throats anymore."
Puck shrugged, "Yeah. She's cool when she ain't all screaming at me. Not bad for being my baby momma number two."
"Maybe you should stop calling her that if you want to get on her good side." Mercedes chuckled. She looked past Puck to see one of the girls from Cheerios making her way to them. She let out a frustrated sigh. Can this day get any worst? From the look on the other girl's face she knew this was about to be drama.
"Puckerman!"
The mohawked teen turned to see the girl make her towards him with a sly smile on her face. Before she could lean in and give him a kiss on the mouth, he pulled back and took off his sunglasses to shoot her a disgusted look, "Back off, woman! I got my son."
The girl's face dropped as she snarled at him, "You've got to be kidding right?" She looked down at the doll strapped to his chest, "You said we were gonna spend the day together!"
"Change of plans." He replied coolly as he grinned down at Johnny. "Baby momma number two...er...I mean Tina." Mercedes gave him a satisfied nod, "Is letting me have Jacob so the dates off." The girl reached for him but he stepped back, "Back away, evil seductress! I told you I have my son so the Puckmister ain't got time to be sexing up some girl!"
Sam snapped out of his anger for awhile to stare at his friend in shock. Was Puck actually turning a girl down? Well this was a first! Tina would be so proud if she was here to see this! He wondered if Mike would believe him if he told him...
"Are you insane?" The girl asked angrily, "You're cancelling on this!" She gestured to her body, "For a doll?"
Puck didn't seem fazed by her anger. He looked down at Johnny and placed a pacifier in his mouth before shrugging, "I've seen better. Plus you chicks come and go. This little man right here...he's my life for the week." The girl stared at him in shock for awhile before turning to storm down the hall. "Bitches be acting crazy, son. You need to watch out for girls like that...crap...I shouldn't be saying the b word! Don't tell, Tina!"
Sam and Mercedes just stared at him, too in shock about what they witnessed to even think about snitching him out to his partner.
"See you tonight, Sam! Bye, hot mama!" They watched as he walked past them and continued his way down the hall with that huge grin on his face.
"I gotta go..." Mercedes spoke up causing Sam to turn his green gaze to her. "We'll talk about this later...I don't like you mad at me." He was going to reply that he wasn't mad but his stubbornness stopped him from replying so instead he shrugged and walked away from her yet again.
"So then we get to her house and all we hear is crying. I began freaking out and then she begins freaking out because we're running around like chickens with our heads cut off looking for Joy and then there she is...tucked inside Brittany's closet with all these crayons and paper surrounding her! So I look at Brittany and she bursts out into tears and holds onto Joy as if her life depended on it and said she was tracing her feet to hang up on the wall and forgot she put her there." Mike explained as he sat back on his couch. He sighed and bit his bottom lip before looking up at the ceiling, "I never been so happy to see a doll in my life..." When he realized what he said he shot the other two guys in the room a look of embarrassment. "Don't ever tell anyone I said that! I need therapy."
Sam gave him a crooked smile before leaning forward to pat his friend on the shoulder, "Dude, you are not the only one feeling this way. Look at Puck right now." The two of them looked over at the older teen who sat on the other couch by himself while attempting to read a parenting book. His face held a look of confusion as his mouth hung open. "We all are going insane over these 'dolls'. Did you know I was even planning to dress Jacob up in a Batman costume?" Mike shot him a look. "I'm serious, dude! They have the cutest costumes for babies on eBay!"
"We only get them for a week...therefore they won't be around for Halloween..."
"Stop it...you're depressing me."
"Did you know reading to a baby at a young age can help it learn faster?" Puck asked as he looked up to his friends, "Also watching certain shows and listening to certain music can help. I don't know who Mozart is but that guy sounds bad ass!"
Mike glanced at his watch before getting up from his couch, "Brittany and Mercedes should be here to drop them off soon. My parents won't be home so we should order pizza or something since you know...none of us know how to cook..." He noticed Sam shift in his seat, "You never did tell me what happened between you and Mercedes earlier...Puck said you guys looked like you were having a heated conversation in the hall."
Puck nodded, "Yeah...hot mama seemed like she wanted to cry and I know when a chick is about to cry cuz I make it happen a lot. They get all big eyed and start clenching their fist and stuff. It sucks. Lady tears are not cool..." He glared at the blonde, "And if you hurt her feelings or anything Imma punch you in your face!"
Sam took in Puck's appearance; he was holding onto Johnny while having a pacifier clipped to his shirt with a monkey blanket slung over his shoulder and a big teddy bear that said 'Baby's Best Friend' on it by his side. He rolled his green eyes, "Yeah you look really threatening, Puckerman."
"Don't let the binky, teddy, and baby fool you. I can still kick your ass."
"Look it was just something I needed to bring up to her and it took seeing her with Shane for me to lose my nerve, ok?" He exclaimed as he rose from the couch too. "I feel like a jerk right now and I don't know how to apologize because I'm sure she's mad at me and she has every right to be..." There was a couple of knocks at the door causing the three guys to glance at each other before Mike went to go answer it. Sam bit his lip as both Mercedes, Tina, and Brittany came into view. Both girls but Mercedes looked over at him and Puck and waved to them.
Tina gave her boyfriend a kiss before going over to Puck to check on Johnny. She handed him some more things he would need for the night before giving him a small smile, "You're really good at this!" She sounded surprised which caused her partner to shoot her a look that said 'I told you so'. "Since he will be staying the night with you I must warn you that you will be up...for hours. I don't know what it is about these dolls but they seem to hate letting you sleep."
Brittany nodded in agreement, "I had to get a new nightlight so when I stayed up the crazy baby stealing dwarfs wouldn't come out and try to steal Joy." Mike was going to say something but decided against it. "And thanks again for today, Mike...you're a good friend." The blonde said as she stared at her partner with a thankful expression. She was pretty sure any other person would have yelled at her but Mike was really sweet even when she was having her own doubts about herself.
The Asian shrugged as he gave the girls a smug look, "Yeah...I know." Tina lovingly rolled her eyes at her boyfriend. "And remember what I told you, Britt..." The blonde nodded. "Whose a good mommy?" He asked causing her to blush and grin shyly before rocking back and forth on her heels.
"I am!" Brittany cheered.
"And whose gonna have demon dancing babies with Santana?"
"I am!"
"Good." He went and grabbed all the things from her and turned to set it down on the couch before shooting Sam a look that told him he better make things right with his partner.
Mercedes noticed the tension in the room between her and Sam and for once she was wishing that it was Tina and Puck that was the couple with the problem. She still hadn't talked to him since their fight earlier and to be honest she wasn't ready to. What was she going to say to him that'll make it better? She knew how she sometimes felt uncomfortable around him but it was still weird being just friends. "Well we gotta get going so..." She handed Sam the carrier, avoiding his eyes before turning to make her way out the door.
Mike and Puck stared at their friend in disappointment as he just let her go without them resolving their problems. "You're an idiot." Puck announced before getting up to grab the remote and turn the tv on, "And coming from me that's saying a lot." He settled on Spongebob Squarepants before sitting next to Mike who was now holding Joy.
"I don't think they should be watching this." Mike frowned as he looked at the cartoon, "I heard Spongebob makes kids stupid..."
Puck glared at him, "Does not! I watch Spongebob all the time!"
Sam and Mike looked at each other before Mike leaned forward and snatched the remote from Puck's hand. "And you just proved my point. Hey...let's play some video games!" he suggested as he made his way to the PS3 and began looking through the games he had.
Puck covered Johnny's ears, "Spongebob is the shit and you're a hater but I'm down for some video games. Just don't start crying when I spank you infront of your daughter!" The Asian turned to give him a challenging look. "You know I'm the master daddy of all things on the PS3!"
"You couldn't 'spank me' if I dropped my pants and bent over for you."
Sam watched as his friends began arguing with each other and the trash talking went up a whole new level when they both agreed on a video game. It was like any other time the three of them hung out except there were realistic baby dolls they were suppose to be watching. Sam glanced down at Jacob while the other two shouted at each other some more because Mike started accusing Puck of cheating.
"Hey guys..." The blonde spoke up as he looked over at them, "Has yours opened their eyes?" He asked curiously as he watched them hit random buttons on their controllers, the both of them glaring and making faces at the screen.
"Dude, you're a fucking cheater!"
"Watch your mouth infront of the babies, you douchebag!"
"Yo!" They both glared over at Sam who looked at them expectantly, "Can you two stop screaming at each other? If they start crying I'm going to kill you both!"
Puck scoffed, "Yeah...whatever, Avatar boy." His eyes went back to the screen before answering Sam's question, "Johnny opened his eyes when Tina willingly let me hold him. It was cool. Tina nearly had a panic attack and took out her camera phone to take like a billion pictures...WHAT THE FUCK, MIKE! THAT WAS MY LAST LIFE YOU DICKWAD!"
The Asian let out a victorious laugh before glancing at Sam, "Yep. She did it when we found her...yours hasn't?" The blonde shook his head, looking a little disappointed that he has yet to see Jacob's eyes. "Hmm...I wonder why!" Mike said sarcastically, "You need to make things right with Mercedes and stop being such a little girl."
Sam frowned. That was easier said than done. He could make it right with her and go back to being just friend but what was the point of that? It sucked being just friends. But Mike had a point and he had to make it right since he will have to be spending most of the week with her thanks to Jacob. He wasn't even a real father yet and he was already having to compromise because of the kid.
"Grr...stop using the same damn move!" Puck yelled. That must have been the final straw because Johnny began crying in his lap causing the teen to quickly drop his controller and turn his attention to the doll. "Oh shoot...daddy's sorry! Don't cry! Daddy's got you!" He began rocking it back and forth before glaring at Mike who busted out in laughter.
"That's what you get!" Puck flipped him off but it didn't phase him as he smirked, "I doubt Tina would appreciate you using such language..."
"You wouldn't!"
"Try me...oh no..." Mike's face dropped as he heard a small noise before his doll began crying too. "Yours is causing mines to cry! Dang it, Puck!" He grabbed the bag next to him and began going through it and hoped Brittany remembered to make the bottles. He pulled out a bottle and formula but they weren't made so he cursed again before looking over at Sam who gave them an expectant look.
"See if you two wouldn't have been yelling then maybe yours wouldn't have..." He stopped his lecturing when Jacob began joining the other two dolls in crying. Sending his friends an accusing glare; he rose from the couch to get the supplies Mercedes left him. "They didn't make the bottles..."
"No shit..."
"Would you stop cussing infront of them!" Puck exclaimed angrily as he paced back and forth with Johnny in his arms, "I swear if you weren't my baby momma's boyfriend I'd punch you in the face!"
Before another argument between them could break out; Sam interrupted, "This formula stuff for the bottles comes with instructions, guys. We can just read it..." He looked down and realized he must have been really stressed because his dyslexia was acting up. "Crap...Mike, you read it!" He tossed it to the Asian who caught the thing easily before glancing down at it.
Puck took out the three bottles and placed them on the small living room table as all three boys stared at them in confusion. Mike then began instructing them on how much to fill it up; Sam pouring the water and Puck putting in the powder stuff. They were relieved when they managed to make a baby bottle without any explosions or toxic gases being released. Sam was about to grab one and give it to Jacob before the older teen grabbed his wrist and stopped him, "What?" He asked, eyeing Puck as he in return gave him a questioning look.
"Dude...aren't we suppose to like warm it up or something? That's what the parenting book says..."
"They're dolls though...it shouldn't matter." Mike replied though the look on his face told them he wasn't so sure if they were suppose to do that or not. "Would it...would it be better if we did?" He glanced down at Joy who continued to scream. "Maybe we should call the girls..."
"No!" Puck shouted. He reached to grab all three bottles from the table before hastily making his way to Mike's kitchen. "I am not gonna give that woman the satisfaction of me asking for her help on my first night with him!"
"That's the love of my life you're talking about!"
"Then you should know how psycho she is!" Puck replied from the kitchen. They heard the microwave start as they both exchanged glances and waited for him to come back in with the bottles. A few minutes later he reappeared back in the living room with a bottle in each hand while he held his own in his mouth causing his friends to shoot him a look of disgust.
"Please tell me you're not going to drink that..."
Puck tossed them their bottles before shrugging, "Why not?" He asked as he took it out his mouth to glance down at it, "Don't you wanna know how this stuff tastes?" Before they could reply he took a sip from the bottle and nearly gagged and spit it out, "Gross! It tastes like swamp water!"
Mike rolled his eyes, "Umm...yeah! I'm pretty sure it does taste horrible due to that fact it's meant for the dolls and not humans. Also it's suppose to make the babies excretion look and smell more realistic so I'm pretty sure it's going to taste disgusting."
"What the hell is 'excretion'? Stop using big words you know I hate them."
Sam laughed as he shook his head at Puck's stupidity, "Their poop, Puck! Excretion means poop. So technically you just drank Johnny's poop."
Realization filled his hazel eyes as he looked down at the baby bottle in disgust. "Eww gross...seriously, man? I've had some weird stuff in my mouth but this takes the cake!" He moved past them and sat on the couch with Johnny before feeding him. The look of sickness never left his face as he watched the doll quiet down and drink the bottle.
Before Sam could put the bottle in Jacob's mouth, the doll stopped crying. He frowned and glanced over at Mike and Puck who were too busy with their own to notice that his stopped on its own. It wasn't until his cellphone started ringing did he start to think that these babies were some kind of weird voodoo psychic dolls because Mercedes' name flashed on the screen. He quickly excused himself and made his way to the kitchen before answering his phone, "Hello?"
She was silent for a moment but when she spoke he could hear the forced friendliness in her voice, "Hey...just thought I'd call to check in...how's everything?"
Sam bit his bottom lip as he leaned against the counter in the kitchen, "Umm...fine. Me and the guys got this under control. Piece of cake..."
"OH MY GOD! HOW MUCH CAN A DOLL POOP? SHE LIKE HAS IT EVERYWHERE!"
The blonde winced as Mike's voice echoed throughout the house causing Mercedes to laugh. So much for her believing that they were handling this well by themselves. He was about to come up with an explanation to make it look like the three of them weren't completely hopeless when it came to the babies till Puck had to open his big mouth too.
"SHUT UP, MIKE! I'M FINALLY GETTING JOHNNY TO FALL ASLEEP IF YOU MAKE HIM CRY AGAIN I'M GOING TO THROW YOU IN A DUMPSTER!"
"Yeah...sounds like you guys have everything under control. You guys sound calm, cool, and collected..." Mercedes chuckled as Sam sighed into the phone. "Well I hope Jacob isn't being too much trouble...what is that noise?" she asked suddenly when she heard a small banging coming from his side of the line.
That was a good question. Sam frowned and leaned forward to peer into the living room; Mike was once again banging his head against the wall as Puck shot him an angry look.
"Stop doing that, dude! You'll like ruin your brain and I need your smartness to help me with my math homework!"
"Nothing!" Sam replied quickly before turning away from the scene as if that would stop Mercedes from hearing the noise. "And Jacob isn't too much trouble. He's perfect...he misses you..." He admitted softly. Even though they had a little argument earlier he wanted to make sure she knew that he wasn't giving up on her. No matter what.
She must have realized he wasn't really talking about Jacob because she replied, "I miss him too. I'm trying, Sam...I really am...I just need time..."
"I know. And I was a dick earlier and for that I apologize but I was completely serious when I said you don't even treat me like a friend, Cedes."
"Yes but something tells me if I did treat you like a friend that you still wouldn't be satisfied." She had a point there. "Look I gotta go...Brittany got herself stuck in a confessional and me and Tina gotta get her out. Want me to still pick you up for school in the morning?"
He smirked, "I'd like that. Bye, Cedes."
"Bye, Sam." Sam hung up his phone before releasing a breath. At least she wasn't mad at him...and this could be the start of things getting better between them and of her not being so guarded. He believed it wouldn't be long till they were back together and he hoped it was soon. They were wasting so much time with this 'friends' nonsense. He was about to return to the living room before he heard Puck begin to shout again.
"DUDE! JOHNNY JUST THREW UP ON ME!" And then once again all three babies began crying. Sam mentally cursed Puck...this was going to be a long night.
A/N: Up next Mr. Schue begins worrying about the kids as they get more serious about their dolls and we get some Quinn and Rachel, Artie and Santana...and Finn finds out that Little Debbie is sick...dun dun dun! Thanks for the reviews, favs, and alerts! Love the feedback.