AN: I know people don't like to see Penny and Callie together. I don't either. But I'm writing for practice, so...I'm letting my mind wander. Also noticed I need to make my stuff more contemporary. So...social media!
Also, thanks for the messages about my music selection. I might make a playlist somewhere, but I'd like the musicians themselves to get something out of it. Even if it's just exposure.
Pay for creative work, people! It keeps artists fed.
Song: "Bare" by Wildes. Or is it "Wildes" by Bare? Whatever.
"Callie," Arizona was on the war path that morning.
A PMSing amputee surgeon with a cranky kid (Sofia had decided she HATED her particular brand of cereal that morning, even though the girl had insisted on a huge box of it being bought for her) and an ex-wife who was proving to be as elusive as a full night's rest was NOT the kind of person to spill a rather hot cup of coffee on.
But it had happened: to the horror of everyone on that floor of the surgical wing.
And Callie had disappeared into an elevator without being distracted by the sudden communal gasp of disbelief, so the usually-perky woman had half-sprinted for nothing.
"Great," the blonde growled. "Just great."
"I am SO sorry, Doctor Robbins."
A familiar face. Not in scrubs, but very, very...
"Polly," the woman reminded her as she fumbled for something to help clean the other woman's coat.
"Peds prospect Polly," they had called her, when she'd decided to do her fellowship somewhere else.
"Oh, right," Arizona stated. "Wait...what're you doing here? Are you OK? Is your family-"
"Oh no, no," the woman insisted, as the Attending walked into the lounge and took her soiled lab coat off, "I'm um...I think I'm lost."
"Where were you headed, exactly?"
"The board room. Someone told me-"
Meredith walked into the room and collapsed face-first onto the couch.
"Doctor Grey, I'm sure there are on-call rooms for that," Richard Webber remarked as he walked into the room and stretched.
"'alk tuh th' 'an'," the exhausted surgeon replied while barely lifting said appendage to make her point.
"The board room's three floors up," Arizona stated to the guilt-ridden kind-of-newcomer, "and I'm guessing you're here for some kind of interview?"
"Yes, I-"
"Doctor Robbins," a flustered-looking resident said as they lingered at the threshold.
The blonde turned to face the frightened person, who mumbled something about a kid throwing up blood.
"You should have PAGED ME!" Arizona shouted as she ran out of the room.
"I didn't-"
The Attending interrupted. "You left a distressed patient to go half way round the block to find me."
"The other residents are with him-"
"And you should be too!" Arizona shouted, before she decided to use the low-volume tongue-slicer from her instrument tray of contempt.
"Incompetent, negligent, stupid. Just plain stupid."
The elevator doors slid open.
"You stay here," the woman barked at the younger man, "seeing as everyone else can function without you, it means I don't need you to come with me. You are off my service."
Ding.
The elevator doors opened on the correct floor and Callie knew to step aside to let her ex-wife run past.
"We still have to talk!" The blonde shouted over her shoulder.
"I know!" The Latina shouted back.
"Oh. Em. Gee. It IS her!" A teenager remarked when Doctor Torres walked into the room holding a pair of crutches.
"Alright everyone, I need you to clear out," the brunette instructed the clique of visitors. "And shouldn't you be in school?"
"Will you, like, sign my yearbook?" One of them asked without moving from her perch on the patient's bed.
"Why would-?"
Wilson entered the room with a black eye, and the crowd slunk away.
Rumor had it that Jo had killed (and possibly eaten) Karev, and the hospital was covering it up. Heck, they'd even brought in a new Peds Attending to replace the guy barely a day after he'd last been seen.
"I don't think anyone believes you walked into a door," the patient said to the younger doctor.
Teenagers – and bored nurses – were the worst.
"She actually did. I saw it. And I stitched her lip, which was why we're a few minutes late," Callie remarked.
"You stitch people up?" The cherry-blonde girl stated. "I thought you were, like, a bone doctor."
"How would that work if she didn't?" Wilson asked out of irritation.
Callie would have told the resident off, but she could sense a change in the air that day. Like everyone was watching her. And whispering behind their hands.
Had Penny started a smear campaign of some kind?
"So your legs are doing great. You can stand, but you can't walk without assistance. This is going to be weird at first, but you just have to get used to it."
A flash of light in the corner of her eye. A curious surgeon turned to look at its source.
"Did they just..."
Wilson barked at the teens in the hallway. "This is a hospital! Selfies are not appropriate in here!"
"We weren't taking any," one of the teens defended, "now could you please, like, move? You're blocking us."
Jo followed their line of sight and saw that they were...oh, those brats!
Grunted and shut the door behind her. And twisted the shutters opaque.
"Oemgee! Why'd you she that?" Was the bleated complaint in the hallway, followed by the inevitable. "How rude!"
Jo rolled her eyes and went back to work.
"These need to be adjusted," Callie stated.
"On it, Doctor Torres," the resident grabbed a tape measure and held it to the patient while the Ortho Goddess made a few notes on her tablet.
"Can I watch TV?" The patient asked.
"As long as you keep the volume down," the Attending instructed.
"Over to our pop culture correspondent, Danielle Moodie-Mills..."
"She's so gay," the girl remarked, as a network error popped up on her device.
Callie raised an eyebrow at the girl. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"I mean, like, she has a wife and everything. Like you have a wife and everything."
"I don't anymore," the older doctor remarked as she went back to waiting for the damn server to get back online.
"So you and the blonde doctor in those photos split up? That sucks."
"What are you talking about?"
"The ones on spinstagram? The ones you took on your date with her like, a few days ago or whatever?"
"You went on a DATE with Doctor Robbins?" Jo gasped.
"No I did NOT. And what photos are you-"
"THOSE ones," the teen pointed at the TV.
"...and here they are. Social media darlings Arizona Robbins and her wife, Calliope Robbins," said the reporter, "both doctors, both steaming hot, and both unbelievably adorable."
"Dammit!" Callie cussed under her breath.
"We here at Politini would like to salute both these women for Fighting Injustice to Reach Equality, or as we'd like to call it here on the show: Bringing the FIRE."
"But I didn't-"
"We haven't heard of any activism from either ladies," the correspondent added, "but by being who they are: smart, successful and confident, they are doing more for positive representation and by giving all young girls out there some real role models to aspire to."
"A million channels out there and you decide there's nothing else to watch," Callie growled, before raising her volume, "are you done, Doctor Wilson?"
"Ready, Doctor Torres."
"Lemme teyya," the woman on screen went on, "when my wife Aisha and I saw their photos we both awwwwwed at them for ages. Super mad feels, y'all. It's like having a couple you don't know from Adam – or in this case, Lillith – but you root for them like they're your life force."
"Alright, turn that off."
"Doncha wanna hear what else they're saying?" The teen pouted.
But off the TV went, and up she got.
"You have fan sites now," April remarked as she waddled into the Attendings' Lounge.
"What?" Arizona asked. She needed to take her leg off for a few minutes.
"People have made websites dedicated to you," Kepner expounded as she rested her very pregnant keester on the most comfortable part of the couch.
"Fetal surgery is a fresh field with many possibilities," Arizona dismissed, "although dedicating websites to the doctors that perform them is a tad too...much. Do they mention Herman at all?"
"That's not why they're making the sites," April looked puzzled. "Do you, like, seriously have no idea?"
"What are you-"
A flash of amazing silky black hair and short-sleeved white lab coat. And an amputee risen from her seat and propelled into the hallway by a need to speak with her ex-wife.
"Callie!"
The taller woman spun on her heels with a determined look on her face and spoke. "Let's talk. Now."
"Really?" April groaned. "You couldn't do this anywhere else?"
"Don't get up," Callie instructed the squeaky one. "This won't take long."
The door was shut. Two women stood facing each other with folded arms and jaws clenched.
Dark brown liquid pools attempted to intimidate deep blue ones. And unknown period of time passed in silence and unnerving stillness. And someone finally cleared their throat.
It was the pregnant woman: fed up of the sudden lack of drama.
"Will you guys...stop doing that?"
"She's the one who wanted to talk," Callie stated, while finally ending their stare-down by looking at April.
"And she's the one who's been avoiding me all day," Arizona stated in return while mirroring the Latina's actions.
"What did you want to talk to her about?" April suggested in aid.
"Sofia's education."
Callie looked at her in surprise. "Really?"
"Yes. Really," Arizona stated. "She wants a telescope: says we shouldn't buy her a birthday present this year if she's going to get one. You know, so we can save to build her an engineering lab."
"She did?" Callie felt a flood of tears stinging her eyes.
"I found planetary graffiti on her bedroom wall," Arizona stated.
"She does that," the brunette shrugged, "even when she stays at Meredith's. It's embarrassing, but we let Zola take the heat for it."
"How responsible," Arizona rolled her eyes, "anyway: if she's going to Mars we have to get her on the junior space program as soon as she's old enough. Which means she's-"
"Mars?"
"Come on, Callie. We're both overachieving science freaks," Arizona sounded like she was on the verge of screaming, "and you and Mark's genes mean she'll grow up tough. And we both know we want to watch her become the first human to set foot on another planet. It's going to happen. Our daughter is going to Mars. First she'll make a stop on the moon. You know, so a woman can finally make some footsteps there, for crying out loud-"
"You're rambling."
"PICK A SCHOOL! It's all you have to do!"
"If I pick one in New York you'll say no!" Callie shouted back almost instantly.
"And if I pick one here you'll shoot it down as well!"
"What do you want us to do, huh? Make her take a super-early SAT and see if she gets into Harvard or something? Cos at least that'll mean we can both move to another state and you won't have this much power over the situation."
"I have SOLE CUSTODY. I'll always have full control, whether you like it or not."
"Way to be humble, Arizona."
"We both lost," the blonde countered. "When the judge made her decision, there were no winners. But we're her mothers. We can put our differences aside and support her. I know we can. It's why I'm letting you make the choice."
"So you'll go with whatever I pick?"
"For a year. If she doesn't like it, or if they're not driving her hard enough, I'll send her to my own chosen school. Also for a year. Until we find somewhere good enough for our daughter."
Callie relaxed her stance and opened the door. "Alright. I'll choose. And we have to get her some space mobiles or posters or something. Before she gets her hands on a spray can and we have to get her out of juvey for defacing a monument or something."
Arizona shuddered at the thought, "although I bet some dull statues would look better with huge red anatomically-situated illustrations of Uranus on them."
"I hope Sofia doesn't do that to your statue when she's a rebellious teenager."
"You are insufferable, Calliope."
Callie laughed, and so did the blonde.
Penny stopped walking when she was close enough to see them, spun on her heels and strode away.
"Y'all are naaasty," Bailey remarked as a dejected-looking troop of interns stood before her. "Shower. Change your scrubs and make sure you wear the damn protective aprons before you deal with an explosive bowel. Have I taught you nothing?"
A few mumbled sounds came from the youngsters, who were unsure if they were meant to answer her question.
"Did I stutter?" The short woman rebuked. "GO NOW!"
"What a crappy day," Penny Blake thought as she walked through the crowd but didn't hold her nose, fan herself and jump back against the wall like everyone else did when they encountered the interns.
"You seem distracted, Doctor Blake," the Chief of Surgery remarked.
"Hmm? Oh, no Doctor Bailey, I was-"
"Don't let social media affect you. They're just trending for now and then the horde of button-pushing microscopic attention-span follower-junkies will find something else to distract them."
"I'm sorry, what are you...?"
"Remember that," the short woman stated, and walked off without giving an explanation.
"You look like you discovered a toe growing out of your tongue," Edwards remarked from her perch at the front desk.
"I just had the weirdest conversation with Bailey," Doctor Blake remarked, while noting Stephanie's very interesting phrase and saving it for possible future use.
Jo approached with a grin on her face that made her look like the Cheshire Cat. With a black eye and busted lip.
"Brace yourself. She's about to gush about her boyfriend," Edwards muttered.
"Where is he, anyway?" Penny wondered aloud.
Suddenly their instincts kicked in. Something had happened. Something to do with why Jo's hand was in her pocket. And had been there all morning, come to think of it.
"Oh...em...gee," Edwards gasped in slow motion.
Karev had FINALLY done it.
The world seemed to slow down as the woman pulled her left hand out of her pocket. Blake and Edwards' eyes went wide with shock as they waited to see-
"Look!"
-the phone was unexpected. And no, the hand she held out didn't have an engagement ring on it, like they thought it would.
"DAMMIT!"
Wilson looked at both women like they were insane. They weren't, but the hyperventilating and relieved fanning they carried out with their clipboards seemed to suggest they'd come in contact with the poop-covered intern flock.
"What is WRONG with you two?"
"Don't you EVER do that again," Edwards commanded.
Getting out of my-best-friend-got-engaged-oh-my-god-yay-diamonds mode to why-the-frick-is-she-holding-out-her-damn-phone-like-that mode was nerve-wracking.
Being a social animal was tiresome.
"Look at the photo!" Jo commanded, and then realized that she probably shouldn't be doing that with Blake around. "Oh um...on second thought scratch that. It's nothing."
"Why's it suddenly nothing?" Penny wanted to know.
"Cos it's not. Really. I was just bored and decided to screw with you both."
"Show me what's on the phone," Edwards wanted to know.
"You can look at it later. Right now there's the cutest set of Siamese twins in the NICU you might wanna-"
Stephanie pulled her own phone out and unlocked the keypad.
"You reblogged something," the curly-haired genius stated, "and I'm on rumblr too, dumbass."
"I'm not," Penny admitted, "but wait: doesn't your rumblr pleef when you post on it?"
"SIAMESE TWINS IN THE NICU!" Wilson took hold of their arms and began to drag them there.
"They'll still be there when we've looked at the damn photos," Edwards insisted.
"What kind of doctors are you?!"
"The kind who every Attending asks for," Stephanie replied.
"The kind who wins grants," Penny replied.
Shaming them into forgetting the internet wasn't going to work. And boy had it backfired so spectacularly on her.
"Come to think of it," Edwards lingered, "have you chosen a specialty yet, Wilson?"
"Oh that's none of your damn business," the woman snapped.
"Jealous, are we?" Penny taunted. "Cos...you know. You were sure you had the grant and I won it. Don't worry, there'll be others."
"In like...5 years or something," Edwards teased. "I'm sure they'd give an Attending precedence in their applications. And you'll probably be one by then so-"
"What'll it look like for an Attending to be applying for the same program as Residents," Penny interrupted, "I know the answer to that. Like you're an over-employed LOSER."
Wilson narrowed her eyes and showed Penny her phone.
"Look. They've gone viral."
Blake's eyes shot wide open, and then she forced herself to remain expressionless.
"Doctors Arizona and Calliope Robbins. Wives forever." Read the caption. And it had been posted a few days earlier.
Wilson added with more malice: "that looks like a cafe. Lesbians date over coffee, don't you?"
The photos had been reblogged 8.5 million times.
Penny walked off.
"You can be such a bitch sometimes, Wilson," Edwards shook her head and walked in a different direction.
Also: I intensely admire Danielle and Aisha Moodie-Mills. Just had to slip (one of) them into my fic. Do some internet-searchation to find out who they is.
I feel like those Siamese twins in the NICU deserve some attention. But I don't like kids, or kids in hospitals. Depressing as hell. I'm aiming for some shouting-matches and more viral stupidity in the next chapter.
Thanks for reading. Please review.