The days leading up to the operation happened in a blur. They all seemed to start with the routine exercise of the memorization of every minute detail of the plan, and end in something much more… Exciting.

Take now, for instance.

L had one hand on the small of her back, and the other on the back of her neck, keeping her body close yet accessible to his mouth. Just these small touches alone were enough to make her melt, but that was nothing compared to his kissing. Even though he'd been a little inexperienced in the beginning of these occasions, he was a fast learner. And it seemed to come naturally to him… Cyan felt his larger lips glide over top of hers in a careful but assertive way. That was all she could feel now… Every brush of his lips, every taste of his tongue seemed to send her senses firing! She knew that she was a blushing mess. The only thing that made her aware of the fact that L wasn't totally calm either was that she could feel the hammering of his heart against her own chest. It was beating so fast…

And this ritual had all began with that first kiss. It was confusing as hell, but Cyan couldn't fight the fact that she was absolutely crazy for these times of day. The time after all of the other members left, so that she and L could walk to the only place that wasn't monitored by cameras; L's bedroom. It was odd that he even needed one, considering the fact that he almost never used it. Before they would walk up, he'd set up a fake glitch, one that froze the cameras on the image that they had seen for about two minutes, without a lapse in the time. So, while the cameras watched them walk quietly up to his room, all they reported back was the empty hallway. Neither of them wanted to stop this little fling, and they thought being caught might lead to some repercussions.

Now, it wasn't how it looked.

It was the only place in the whole building that wasn't monitored! And kissing out in the open like that was dangerous, so they both agreed to just use the one isolated place that there was. There was no way she'd sleep with him! This was just kissing… To her, it was innocent enough.

And, she trusted L. If she told him to stop, she was positive that he would.

That was how they came to be there, standing in the hallway of L's room, his bed seemingly a mile away. His back was to the wall, and he was holding her close to him, and using his natural slump to lean down and kiss her steamily. She was pretty short, in all actuality, and had to angle her head up in order for their lips to touch. Actually, she'd never really noticed how tall he was. Or how truly thin he was. Sure, he wasn't scrawny, but underneath just a tiny bit of lean muscle, she could feel his ribcage pressing against her breast.

It wasn't like he didn't eat a lot! Cyan had spent half of her life nagging L about how he ate. She had always told him to eat healthy, or at least limit the sweets, but he hadn't relented. Neither had she. After feeling him so closely however, she decided that she'd try to get him to eat more now.

Almost as if sensing her train of thought begin to wander, L pulled away, his large, dark eyes gleaming hungrily down at her. They seemed to be almost questioning, but Cyan had no time to try and confirm this. He was already using his slouch to lean around and kiss the side of her neck, seemingly demanded that she pay him her full attention. Her eyes widened and she gasped, feeling the male's cool, moist lips against her hot neck. This gasp seemed to give him fuel; L bit her carefully, close to her ear but still on her pale neck. This really made her gasp, causing her heart to contract tightly. Since when was L so adventurous?!

This seemed to be a satisfying experiment to L, because he stopped what he was doing to pull away, now staring down at her carefully.

"I apologize for that… It appears as though I got carried away." He said calmly, reaching up to ghost his fingers over where he left a pink mark on her skin.

Cyan sighed. "It's okay. I just wasn't expecting it." She said, trying her hardest to conceal how much she was shaking. At least her voice sounded steady… But her whole body was shaking like a leaf!

"Are you nervous? Or just cold?" L said quietly, giving the girl the smallest of teasing smiles. He could feel her shaking… He'd never thought he actually had such an effect on her before.

"Shut up, dork." Cyan said, her lips spreading into a smile. This was still so odd… They had been friends for so long, and treating him differently from that was a little strange. Or was it? It felt as though she'd always wanted to do this… To kiss him, to touch him… Maybe it wasn't so odd after all.

"Yes, well… While we're alone, I think I should tell you something. It is highly likely that you won't like what I have to say, so I will apologize in advance." Said L.

Cyan gave him a look of astonishment. L was seldom serious about times like these when they were able to kiss each other. Why now? Was this about the operation?

"I have contacted MI6, and I am going to have you replaced. You will no longer work in the Kira case." He said calmly, gazing at her with a subdued expression.

It felt like a dam broke inside of Cyan as soon as the words escaped his lips. What?! What the actual hell?! Cyan's face immediately went red, and she backed out of his hold, pushing his arms away.

"After all of that damned stupid drilling about this operation?! Who the hell else are you going to get? Why are you doing this all of the sudden?" She exploded, glaring at male across from her.

L knew that look. He knew that he was in for it. When Cyan went red with anger and crossed her arms over her wiry chest like that, he knew that she would never budge from her position. The only thing to do know was to try and calm her rage… if that was even possible.

"I am sorry, Cyan, but this is the only thing I can do to ensure your safety and continued survival-"

"Shut up! That is the stupidest thing… I-I can't believe… What the hell is wrong with you? I want to work on this case, and just because we make out sometimes doesn't give you the right to boss me around. Maybe you being my boss does, but the L that I know wouldn't allow himself to get emotionally compromised. I can do this, L. Don't be an idiot. I know that you're just trying to protect me, but… But it's sappy and pathetic! That is so unlike you. I never thought you'd be so cliché." Cyan ranted, the words coming out of her like venom. She knew it was mean… But she refused to have L do something as ignorant and selfish as this! He had to learn that love wasn't being overprotective. Or… Well, how would she know?

L was quiet for a moment, his bangs moving to cast a shadow over his pale face. He looked distinctly guilty… Good. Let him be.

"I understand that you're upset, but I want you to consider what this means. I want you to know how much you matter to me, I want you to understand that I can feel this way about someone, about you…" He murmured, his head angled downward. Even as he spoke, he knew how it sounded, and he hated every damn second of it. He sounded… Weak.

"Most people stick to roses." Cyan replied coldly. "Now, go back and tell MI6 that it was a mistake. You know that you're being ridiculous. I swear… This was a mistake. I should've stopped this a while ago. Maybe I could like you, but I'm not sure if you know how to love."

L couldn't hold his tongue; these harsh words hurt, and he was confused… Shouldn't this be at least slightly flattering? "Can't you see that I'm just trying to keep you safe? You know that this mission is dangerous, and now that we've gotten close, it has become clear to me that I cannot lose you. You are the strongest person that I know. Don't think I am underestimating you're abilities… I am underestimating mine. If you fail on this mission, it won't be your fault; it will be mine. And then, I will be responsible of the only person I love. But maybe I don't even know how to love, as you put it." He finished, his voice stern and quiet.

Cyan stared at him, unable to meet his eyes through the shadow that blocked them. Suddenly, a fresh, stinging wave of guilt passed over her. She had misinterpreted this… It was still selfish of L, but maybe he deserved to be selfish. She knew how hard his childhood had been on him. She didn't know how to react… Should she still be mad? He was only doubting his own abilities of planning this insurgence, but it reflected poorly on her. It made him seem like he was only making this decision on emotion, almost as though to prove that he actually could feel things. Cyan knew he could feel… Such a fact was obvious to her know. But she was unsure if L was using his mind or his heart on this. Maybe he was using some of both. Cyan had said some things that she couldn't take back… She hadn't meant most of it, she had just been upset and betrayed. But that didn't make it alright.

"L… I'm sorry. I think I understand now… But I can do this. You are an excellent detective, and there is nothing wrong with your plan. We can do this if we try our hardest. We make a good team." Cyan said finally, her voice quiet and slightly sad. By now, she really did feel bad about what she said… It was unlike her to get so angry, but she couldn't stand being thought weak or incapable. Especially by someone who she held dear.

L finally looked at her, his expression melancholy and distant. Her words had been harsh… And several times, she'd been right. He wanted her out of the Kira case for entirely selfish reasons, but he wanted her to be safe. He'd spend the rest of his life blaming himself if she got killed during it. But he couldn't speak. The fact that even Cyan thought that he couldn't love hurt, and it made the idea of his lack of love seem all the more real. Maybe he really was unable to feel such things…

Cyan cleared her throat. "Love makes people do weird things… I really am sorry, L. I just got angry… You understand, right? Please say that you do, I hope I didn't hurt you…" She murmured, taking a step closer to him and gently placing a hand on the side of his face.

The tall, dark male's eyes widened as she spoke, and he couldn't help but lean into her touch. "I… I already said that I thought you would get angry with me, Cyan. Don't you remember?" He said, still looking a little shocked.

Cyan rolled her eyes. What a know it all! Before she could respond, she was cut off.

"I don't want you to think that I don't love you. I cannot have you thinking that. Especially on the eve of something so dangerous…" L said quietly, taking his own hand and placing it against Cyan's as she held it against his face. He stared intently into her blue eyes, taking in her astonishment, her shocked look. "I have always loved you, Cyan. As much as a person like me can feel love." He said, his voice melodious but sad at the same time.

Cyan's heart gave a painful squeeze. Always? Even when they were kids? A sudden rush came to her, the memories of the orphanage and times when L had done things for her, things that had seemed suspicious at the time. They had all been explained with one simple answer; he had always loved her. That really explained so much…

She stepped closer suddenly, pulling her hand away so that she could wrap both arms around his thin frame, while burying her head in the crook of his neck. He smelled like ink and pastries… He smelled familiar. Like home. Her heart was beating faster than ever before…

"L? I… I think I might love you too…" She whispered against his skin.

It wasn't long before they were wrapped up in each other again, sharing their pain and fear of the days ahead.