I do not own anything you recognize! Do I have to put a disclaimerf in every chapter, or no? And since when isn't slitted a word? I'm getting dumber...

Anyway, this chapter is boring as hell, I'm sorry! And thanks to Mrawgirl09,no, Mustang's not that obsessed with paperwork, he just needs an excuse to screw Ed so that I can write the story, lol. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, and thanks to everyone who continues reading.

The story will pick up the pace later on.

Poll, should Mustang have amnesia, and go back to our dear Colonel, or should he be the same evil bastard he's been through the whole story? I can't keep writing until I know what people want to see. (Cuz I can't make up my mind, cuz I'm dumb like that.)

Envy was lost. He knew the anatomy of a human body quite well, having been torturing people for over 400 years, but he had no clue how to heal one. He did know that if you jostled a broken bone enough, the person screamed out in pain and retained permanent damage. Also, he knew that blood flowed better if gravity was helping it along. Which it was, what with chibi-chan on his stomach.

Gently, so as not to move the broken bones too much, he turned Ed over so that he was on his back, with the gashes on his stomach facing up, his automail stump next to the back of the couch, and his broken arm in Envy's lap, because he didn't know what the hell to do with it. If he let it hang, it would damage it, but if he put it on Ed's chest it would press against the gashes…

Ten minutes later, Ed's wounds were wrapped in a damp t-shirt from his closet, and his arm was propped up on a little table, while Envy tightly wrapped it in another shirt. He didn't know what else to do! Pacing wasn't going to help, and waking up Ed would only put him in pain.

How about killing him, like I should have done as soon as I met him? It would put him out of his misery. He sighed at the thought. He was NOT acting like a homunculus, dammit! Envy sat next to Ed's couch, and pondered all of the ways Lust was going to kill him. He hadn't seen her since he broke her nail, but he knew that sooner or later, he was going to take the collective punishment for the last two days, and he shuddered in thinking what it might be. Knowing Lust, it would be efficient and dead boring.

"E-envy," Ed whispered. His eyes were slit open, and he was watching Envy with an unreadable expression. Envy leaned forward and brushed golden hairs from his face, oddly gentle. He'd just witnessed something that made him (the conscious-less, moral-less torturer and murderer) nauseous, and he was feeling pity towards Edo and fury towards Mustang.

"What can I do, chibi?" he wanted to know.

"Winry. Sh-he can fix my automail, a-and Auntie Pinako can help w-with the res-rest," Ed was stuttering from shuddering, and Envy looked around for a blanket to use. There was one thrown over the armchair, and he thought that it was quite obvious Ed hadn't decorated the place as he tossed it over the alchemist. Ed sighed. "I-I feel so useless…"

More and more, Envy wanted to hug him. He couldn't, because of the broken body, so he smiled at him, and then left to find a phone. If Alphonse had decorated the place, the numbers would be by the phone.

Three cheers for tin cans, there was a little paper next to the phone covered, not only with numbers, but with names. He found Winry/Aunt Pinako and dialed the number. He didn't know exactly what he was going to say, but eh. On the third ring, someone picked up.

"Who is this?" A gravelly voice asked.

"Hey, do you know where Edward Elric's house is?" Envy drawled, sounding more relaxed than he felt.

"Yes… what does it matter to you, and who is this?" She was starting to sound pissed off.

"Well he's kind of hurt, and his right arm is lying in a corner, without him attached to it. I don't know how to heal, and certainly not fiddle with machines, and he says you can help. I'd get over here pretty quick, if I could."

"He's broken his automail again!?" A second, younger voice entered the line.

"His automail and a few other things while he was at it," Envy reminded them.

"We'll go help, of course. Come on Winry, get your tools packed. We're off to Central!" The voice he'd associated with Aunt Pinako said briskly.

"Well, get a move on. Bye." He hung up. And spun around slowly. Where would a little chibi-chan keep his chocolate…? There was a groan, in a voice deeper than Ed's. Envy cursed, fluently. He'd forgotten about Mustang! He jumped off of the stairs and into the living room, to see Mustang sitting up with a hand to the back of his head. Ed was shivering violently, eyes huge, never leaving the man who'd made his life hell for the past half of a year. Envy felt a growl in his throat, and his eyes were narrowed dangerously. Methods of torture were turning pleasantly through his head.