A/N: Okay, this is a short chapter in lieu of a very long one that will be following it very shortly! The next chapter is going to involve all of the girls, plenty of flashbacks and more depth in the twist that is featured at the end of this chapter! But let me know what you think, and keep those ideas coming – the ones that have been suggested so far have been amazing and if I use any of them, you will get full credit, of course!
Disclaimer: The characters and the show belongs to Pretty Little Liars, I own nothing other than the storyline of this story.
"Interesting that hardly anyone asks how I feel now, not that I'd tell them. I just wonder why nobody cares much about the after – just about the story. Guess they figure it stops there. I wish." - Chevy Stevens
Going home should have been the best feeling in the world, it should have been a relief, she should have been looking forward to it more than anything. It had been over three years since she had stepped foot in the house that she had grown up in, but she would have done anything for the comfort of her hospital bed right then. Caleb was in front of her, his hand on the door to her bedroom before he pushed it open, he had this huge smile on her face as though he expected her to be happy but the moment her foot stepped over that threshold, she realised she couldn't do it.
Something inside her broke. Shattered more than it already was as her eyes glanced over at her bedroom. Only, it wasn't her bedroom anymore, it was a carbon copy of the room she had spent three years of hell in. The wallpaper was the same, every piece of furniture was the exact same, A had managed to get everything right – it made Hanna wonder how long they had spent in her bedroom. What had A touched? How did they get into her room so many times? Enough times to know where everything was, how everything looked...
Caleb didn't stop her when she first moved forward, it was as though he was waiting for the relief to show on her face. She didn't know how she looked right then, she felt as though she was in some sort of haze, and then flashes of her time in the dollhouse completely took over.
Hanna's hands slammed on the door as she screamed for someone to let her out, she cried for her mom, for Caleb, for her friends; her hands coming down on the door each time until she slipped down onto the floor with a broken sob. "Let me out," She repeated, over and over again, her breathing heavy and the tears continued to fall, it was only the first night and she had no idea what was going to happen in the time that would follow. The blonde could hear her best friends not too far from her, each of them slamming on their own doors, each terrified because none of them had no idea about what was going to happen to them next.
It took a moment to jolt herself out of the memory of that first night and she gulped, slowly walking over to the wall, her fingers glazing along the wallpaper as she bit down on her lip with a frown. She could remember the first night, she had been so scared but it was nothing in comparison to what was going to follow. That first night, she had been naïve, she had clung to hope for so long but then, the worst thing that A had done to them was lock them in a room for the night. She would have taken that over everything that had followed, being locked in that room was safe in comparison to the things that could happen outside that room. Caleb spoke, but she felt as though she was in a bubble, floating far from him and from the house that was meant to make her feel safe again. She was there, but she didn't truly feel as though she existed in the present.
Her hands slammed over her ears when the alarm sounded, she had just been drifting off into an uneasy sleep when A had decided to set the alarm off again. Today's punishment was lack of sleep; sleep deprived, she felt sick with exhaustion, she wanted to curl up in a ball and just sleep for as long as she possibly could. Preferably she would wake up and she would be back home. The alarm continued, and Hanna let out a frustrated scream before she crawled over to the closet and hid inside it. She kept her hands over her ears and closed her eyes as tightly as she possibly could, "Shut up, shut up, shut up!"
Caleb shouting her name broke her from that memory, and she realised she had been tearing at the wallpaper. Her nails scratched at the wall, as she tried to tear the paper off, she wanted it gone. This wasn't the bedroom she had spent a month planning and then over a week decorating, she had taken pride in the room, she had loved it. She had even showed it off. But now she wanted it gone, it was tainted, just like her. Her wrist was in a cast but she ignored the pain that soared through it as she continued to rip at the paper. She just shook her head, she couldn't express how she felt in words but she just wanted Caleb to know that she wanted it all gone. He had to understand that it all had to go.
Their eyes met when she looked up, and she half-expected him to grab her and tell her it was all going to be okay. She couldn't even gather the words to tell him that nothing would ever be okay again, she was broken. And this wasn't the kind of broken that could be fixed by him loving her, it wasn't the kind of broken that would heal with every kiss and every hug. Instead, he just nodded his head and moved next to her, his own hands moving to remove the wallpaper before he gave her a small smile. When Ashley walked in a few moments later, a confused expression on her face, he only shrugged his shoulders, "I think Hanna wants to redecorate." He told her, and that was that. The three of them worked in silence, removing everything from her room that Hanna pointed to – everything except the closet because that was her safety. Even in that place, she had been safe there.
It didn't occur to Hanna until later that night that Caleb and Ashley had understood because they had seen the crime scene photographs; Spencer had managed to recount every single movement she had made from A's lair to Toby's house. Spencer had been the only one of them clever enough to leave a trail, although Hanna sometimes wished she hadn't – she didn't want anyone to see the hell they had been through. By then, after two weeks in the hospital, forensics would have been through there, the police would have been alongside them, photographs would have been taken, the body of Mona would have been found and...
She shook it off. She was still in denial about what they had done but she had seen the look on mother's face when the police had told her what they had found when they got to the place in the woods. The bunker turned hell. A hadn't let them go, A was never going to let them go; the piece of paper Hanna had curled in her hand was just the first thing she had grabbed from the side with Caleb's name on it. They would still be there now if they hadn't taken it into their own hands. She shook those thoughts off though and instead, her eyes glanced around at the empty room and she felt a momentary satisfaction. She could start over, this didn't have to be the same room, but still, A had walked on the floor, A had touched the walls, A had breathed the same air.
Slowly, she sank to the floor and wrapped her arms around her knees and just sat there in silence as her eyes fell to a close. She was tired but she couldn't sleep, she was hungry but she couldn't eat, she was lonely but she couldn't be around anyone. She missed the girls but she couldn't see them because seeing them hurt more than it should have. Caleb had left to take everything to a charity shop, and her mom had moved downstairs to make them something to eat for when he came back. She didn't even hear the older Marin come up behind her until the red head was sitting next to her, a nervous smile on her face before she slowly reached to wrap an arm around her. Her body froze at the contact for a second, before she took a deep breath and told herself that it was just her mother, so slowly, her head moved to rest on the woman's shoulder.
"I love you so much," Ashley whispered, moving to press her lips to Hanna's hair, "I'm so glad you're home... we can do whatever you want with this room. We can go shopping, you can buy anything you want..." Hanna just gave her a small smile, but didn't say anything in response – Ashley was getting used to the silence now but it didn't make it hurt any less. She missed the sound of the blonde's voice; she longed to hear a sarcastic comment, she missed giving her daughter a look that told her to shut up before she dug herself into any deeper of a hole than she already had. Instead, she was looking at her daughter, silently begging her to just say something, anything. She wanted her to scream, she wanted her to tell her she hated her for not finding her, she would take anything over the silence.
The rest of the night passed in silence, Caleb and Ashley just looked at each other as Hanna pushed the food around the plate instead of making a single move to raise the fork to her mouth. They didn't say a word when Hanna insisted on walking around the house to do a security check, her fingers moving over all the window locks and the doors, making sure everything was closed and everything was locked. Every single door, every window, in every single room that A could have gone through to get her. Her fingers trembled as she watched over Ashley's shoulder as she made sure she set the alarm properly before they made their way up the stairs.
She tried to do everything she was supposed to do, which included slowly moving to lay down on the mattress that Caleb had pulled into her room, saying it would have to do until they bought her the best bed they could find. He moved next to her, and his arm wrapped around her; she wanted to push him off more than anything. She wasn't used to having someone there whist she slept, she felt as though she was suffocating even with the lose grip he had on her. Hanna closed her eyes and forced herself to move her head to rest on his chest, because that was what she was supposed to do, right? She was meant to be taking comfort in his touches, Hanna wanted to be able to hold onto her boyfriend and thank him for not giving up on her. She wanted to tell him she loved him, that there wasn't a day that went by that she didn't think about him but instead, what she really wanted was to be left alone. Normality would have been falling into Caleb's arms and listening to him telling her everything was going to be okay, but nothing was normal.
Hanna pretended to sleep, until Caleb's breathing steadied and his grip loosened – he wasn't a heavy sleeper, he never had been, so she was careful in her moving out of his grasp. Each second she had laid there, her chest felt as though it was being crushed. Had she checked the bathroom window? She couldn't remember. And maybe there was something wrong with her bedroom window, A had to have gotten into her bedroom all those years ago somehow. With trembling fingers, she moved over to the window and peaked out – she had insisted on keeping the bedroom light on because the thought of sleeping in the dark made her feel sick. Slowly, her fingers moved over the lock and she bit down on her lip, it seemed secure, but she couldn't be sure.
Quietly, she walked over to the closet, sliding inside, ensuring she could see the window and the door from where she was. Her heart thumped against her chest, and her arms wrapped around her knees as her chin settled on her knees; she was tired but she was so paranoid that A was going to find her, take her back to that place that still haunted her dreams. But she had nothing to be scared of, her body shook for no reason, her eyes darted around the dimly lit room pointlessly, A wasn't going to get her. A wasn't going to get any of them because A was dead.
And they had killed her.
She was running. Her bare feet hit the ground, branches slammed against her body but she carried on running. She had just grabbed a piece of paper with Caleb's name on it and stared at the address for a few moments before she recognised it as the apartment building so close to the Brew; she had no idea where they were or how long it would take them to get home but if they ran, maybe they would find their way back to Rosewood. Her breathing was heavy, and she was so tired but she couldn't stop, she could hear Aria behind her and she could see Emily and Spencer right in front of her. None of them looked at each other, none of them spoke, and no one stopped until they realised where they were.
Three years and they had been practically in Rosewood the entire time. The woods that their families had probably walked in to try and find them a thousand times over. Why couldn't they have come across the underground bunker? She had no idea how long they had been running, but to know she had been so close to Caleb and her mother this entire time made her feel sick. Maybe they had walked over where they were, maybe they had called out their names so close by.
Stepping into town, they started to walk and Spencer's hand grabbed onto Hanna's, who took Emily's hand in her own, who did the same to Aria. They had been home the entire time and hadn't even known it. "They're going to separate us, and we might not see each other for a while but..." Spencer gave them all a smile smile, tears in her eyes, "We need to protect each other, be careful with what you tell them, no one can be trusted." Hanna nodded her head in response, and so did the other two – no one could be trusted.