"So, you're a Jashinist?"

Hidan peered over the cover of his book and shot Kakuzu an annoyed look, being rather perturbed that the miser would dare to interrupt him while he was enjoying his presents. "Duh. What the hell did you think my rosary was for?"

Kakuzu eyed the necklace Hidan had fished out from under his shirt, remembering that the silver-haired teen had been wearing it the first night he'd stayed over with the miser. "I assumed it was something you wore for the sake of wearing it."

"What, like those douche-face wannabe gangsters?" Hidan inquired with a note of disbelief. "C'mon, I'm not that much a dick."

"I beg to differ."

"Look, dumbass, it's a Jashinist rosary, I'm a Jashinist, and if that's a problem you can go to hell. Clear?"

Kakuzu rolled his eyes at the teen's rant. "Like I care what religion you are."

Hidan nodded and sat up from his resting place on the couch in order to pack his books away. The rant had gotten him hyped up, and now he probably was going to leave for a while, if not the whole night, to find some way of burning off his excess energy. "Oi, dumbass."

"Stop calling me that."

"Stop responding to it," Hidan shot back. His bag was packed and ready to go, and the Jashinist had already slung one strap over his shoulder. He seemed hesitant to adjust the other strap and leave, and was currently smoothing out the excess material dangling from where the strap of the bag tightened. "Sorry about fucking around with you earlier. You didn't have to get me anything, so you actually spending some of your damn money on me was pretty cool."

Kakuzu was momentarily surprised at how quickly Hidan had shifted from cocky and assertive to quiet and borderline polite. "Don't mention it."

"Done and done!" In the blink of an eye Hidan was on his feet and heading for the door. "Dunno about you, but that was getting way too fucking sentimental for me. See ya dumbass!" A few seconds later the door to the apartment opened and closed, indicating that the teen had finally gone.

Kakuzu took this brief moment of peace and quiet to flop down in his chair and look questioningly at the heavens. "I never killed anyone. I never lied on my tax return forms. The only kid I ever beat up had it coming. Mind explaining why the hell you're doing this to me?" Silence was the only answer.

-m-

Tsunade drummed her fingers on the oak surface of her teller window. It was around two o'clock in the afternoon, meaning that most people had already gone back to work after their lunch breaks, and most stay at home moms were living up to their title and staying at home for their kids' naptimes. It would be another hour before the schools let out and high schoolers would come in to deposit their paychecks, and the talk show playing on the TV in the lobby really did nothing to hold her interest. Occasionally there would be an interesting issue to discuss, but at the moment the host appeared to be covering people who went into depression after the death of their pets. Interesting in a morbid sense, but not something the blonde was dying to learn about.

Tsunade sighed and lowered her head into her folded arms, fingers still drumming on the wood. What was she supposed to do now? "Please stop that."

The woman looked up to see her underling, Kakuzu, standing in the window next to her and counting the money in his till for what had to be the fiftieth time that day. He appeared just as bored as she was, if a bit more stressed. "Sorry," she apologized as she stood back up, the tapping ceasing as she did so. "It's just so unbelievably boring around this time of day."

"Nothing wrong with that."

"Hey, are you ok? You look like you haven't slept in ages. And like you'll pop a blood vessel any second." Kakuzu did not reply, but chose that moment to return to counting his money, albeit with a bit more force than he'd been using previously when going through the bills. "This doesn't have anything to do with your little brother, does it?"

"Please don't call him that," the man begged with a tired groan. "Someone might think I'm related to the brat."

Tsunade smirked triumphantly. "I knew it! Spill, I want all the juicy details!"

"Is that really necessary?"

"No, but disobeying the direct orders of your boss might make it necessary for me to dock your pay, if you get my drift."

Wondering why everyone in the world had suddenly decided to play a rousing game of blackmail Kakuzu, the banker relented and began to tell his woes to the blonde. "Hidan is, without a doubt, the dumbest genius I have ever met."

Tsunade raised a brow at the statement. "You're going to have to elaborate on that."

"A while back, he was reading 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. When I asked him if he liked it, he said the political undertones annoyed him."

"But I don't remember any-"

"Neither did I, and when I pointed this out to him, he informed me that Captain Nemo is a clear metaphor for the practice of isolationism, whereas the three sailors he takes aboard clearly represent different countries and their governments, who press their ideas on other nations with a varying degree of success depending on their levels and methods of assertion. He then went on to say that Nemo also represents the futility of isolationism, as the only way it could work was if he was able to constantly move his domain about and even then the outside world contacted him through Ned, Conseil, and Pierre. Finally, the maelstrom at the end exhibits how the isolationist, Nemo, is eventually swallowed up and destroyed by mighty forces beyond his control, which could be interpreted as the global market, whereas the countries that interact with one another (the three sailors) survive."

Tsunade blinked up at the banker for a good minute, trying to process what she'd just heard. "How old is this kid?"

"Sixteen."

"That's a college level thesis."

"I know. And then he burnt down the kitchen."

"What?!"

"Apparently no one ever bothered to tell him to take soup out of the can before you heat it up in a microwave, or at least open it," the miser hissed as he slammed the till shut. "First the can exploded, and then the wrapper caught fire and started sparking. He panicked and threw water on it! Water! On an electric fire!"

"Holy hell," Tsunade breathed.

"The whole kitchen was ruined, but the landlord would have let me stay if Hidan hadn't told him what a whore his mother was in several colorful phrases. I'm lucky he gave me two weeks to find somewhere else to move my stuff. So now, I'm staying in the roach motel down the street until I can find a new apartment. Preferably one more fireproof than the last one."

"…You're sure this kid doesn't have an identical twin or something?"

"Don't even suggest that," Kakuzu immediately replied. "It's bad enough that there's one of him. He has no manners, no common sense, and an IQ higher than mine. It's like Einstein had a baby with a sponge cake."

"What was he even doing in your kitchen anyway?" Tsunade inquired.

"Hell if I know," Kakuzu growled out. The truth was, though, that although the banker wasn't sure of Hidan's exact reasons, he had a pretty good idea of why the Jashinist had been in his kitchen. Ever since his birthday, Hidan had been coming over to the miser's apartment more and more often, and nine times out of ten if he showed up, he would spend the night on Kakuzu's couch. In return, he'd begun to dabble in the fine art of housework; small things, like tidying up the living room or throwing a load of laundry in the wash while he was over. The fire had more than likely been caused by Hidan's desire to make dinner for the two of them, with catastrophic results. Then again, what did he know? The brat had set his home on fire, cussed out the landlord, and then vanished without a trace. That was over a week ago, and he was beginning to doubt the kid would ever resurface. He hadn't bothered to go looking this time; thinking of the incident was still enough to make him see red, so if Hidan wanted to see Kakuzu again, he could damn well come back on his own this time.

A firm hand clapping him on the shoulder brought Kakuzu back to the present. "Kakuzu, what say you and me go out on the town tonight."

The banker quirked a brow at her. "I really don't think-"

"C'mon, a charity case kid barged into your home and burned the place to the ground, you're stuck in a roach motel, and to top it all off, you and I probably have the most boring jobs in the world. If that isn't grounds for heavy drinking, I don't know what is."

"He's not a charity case," was all Kakuzu could answer.

"Sorry, poor choice of words. Wait a minute, I get it! You're afraid to go out with me because you know I'll drink you under the table!"

"Hardly," Kakuzu responded, a flat look on his face matching the flat tone of his voice.

"Oh, it's nothing to be ashamed of! You're not the first man to chicken out on me; my reputation does precede me, after all. I won't think any less of you if you want to admit defeat now, and I'm sure it's easier on your delicate male ego than losing outright to me."

"You're not going to let this drop until I agree, are you?"

"Not a chance in hell." The blonde smirked, seeing her underling waver slightly. "Tell you what. I'll even pay."

The miser sighed. He didn't have anything better to do that night, this had been a terrible week, and tomorrow was Sunday, so he wouldn't have to go in to work… "All right."

-m-

Kakuzu awoke the next morning to the feeling of somebody splitting open his skull with a jackhammer while someone else dropped several high-grade explosives outside his door. It took him a few seconds to realize the jackhammer was the mother of all hangovers, and the bombs were actually someone beating down the door to his room. "Oi, dumbass!"

The banker groaned to himself; it was too early and he was too hung-over to deal with Hidan right now. However, a few more minutes of knocking revealed that the silver-haired teen had no intention of going anywhere, and with a reluctant sigh Kakuzu admitted defeat. He'd have to talk with the kid. "Hold on," he called out as loudly as he dared to, but even his soft tone made the headache worse.

The miser managed to sit up with relative ease; as he stood, though, the urge to vomit nearly overwhelmed him. "Note to self; never go drinking with Tsunade again." After a short amount of time, though, he was able to haul himself to the door and open it. "How did you find me?" he demanded as soon as he saw the teen.

"Dude, you look like shit. The hell happened?"

"Never go drinking with older women," Kakuzu sagely responded. He was hoping the brat would hurry up and get on with whatever he needed; the sun was entirely too bright for his liking, and the banker wanted nothing more right now than to crawl back into bed and stay there for at least the next ten years, mysterious stains and smells be damned.

Hidan gave the miser an inquiring look, but chose not to press the matter further. "Whatever. I need your help moving the furniture!"

"What furniture?"

"Yours, dumbass!"

Kakuzu was a bit confused now, and he was pretty sure the alcohol didn't have anything to do with it. "Why are we moving my furniture?"

Hidan was now looking at Kakuzu like the man was an absolute moron. "Because your new place is gonna look really damn weird without it. Now hurry up! I already moved all the light stuff, and I need your sorry ass to get the rest. Except you're so fucking messed up right now I might be better on my own…"

Scratch that previous thought, Kakuzu had to still be drunk. There was no other explanation for what was happening right now. "What the…when did…how did…inside, and explain. NOW."

Hidan obeyed the command with only a tiny amount of arguing (even he could see the banker was in no mood for this), and seated himself on the bed as Kakuzu downed a glass of water and what was probably half a bottle of Advil. "Ok. I burned down your place and felt bad about it, so I figured, what the hell, I don't have anything better to do, and old man Methuselah at the shop told me to get out more, so I'll find you a new place. It took me for fucking ever to finally find somewhere that's cheap enough for you but not too shitty, and trying to negotiate with the landlord was annoying as hell. Seriously, the guy immigrated from Ass Crack, Nowhere and still has the damn accent! And he wanted you to be there and sign everything, but I couldn't find you after work last night (since apparently you were out getting drunk off your ass with some bitch), so I had to do it myself and slip him a little extra besides the safety deposit. Then I got most of the stuff moved in, but I can't carry the damn furniture, so I went after you. Now show some damn gratitude, dumbass."

Kakuzu was, for the first time in his life, truly and utterly speechless. So that's what Hidan had been doing all week? Looking around town, apartment hunting for him? It would have been touching, were it not for the fact that Hidan had basically signed him into a lease contract at some place he'd never seen. "You couldn't have waited until you found me to sign?"

"Hell no! There was this old cat lady that wanted the room too, and she was creepy as hell! Seriously, the bitch had this gross stringy hair that tried to strangle me, her fucking cat wouldn't stop hissing at me, and her dress smelled like piss!"

Hidan's argument did little to inspire Kakuzu's faith in the building's clientele. Still, it sounded like the kid had gone through a lot to get him the place, and he had too much of a headache to argue much further. Deciding to just go with it, Kakuzu agreed to follow Hidan first to the new apartment to see it, and then to the old place to pick up his stuff if he like it, provided that Hidan would first run down to the nearest general store and get a cheap pair of sunglasses for the miser. If Kakuzu was going to face the world with a hangover, he was at least going to try and make it bearable.

-m-

As it turned out, Hidan's pick wasn't as horrible as Kakuzu thought it might be. The building was an old five story brick number that had probably been built around the turn of the century, and while it wasn't as nice as his old place, it was more than a few steps up from the motel he'd been staying in, not to mention it was a good three blocks closer to the bank than his former residence. The floor space was relatively close to his last place, though if he had to guess he'd say this apartment was a bit smaller. "Does it meet your oh so high standards?" Hidan asked from where he was leaning against the doorway, though his bravado wasn't able to completely disguise the nervous tone in his voice.

Kakuzu gave the living room a final onceover and nodded. "I suppose you did something right for once."

"The hell kind of answer is that?! You asshole, you should be thanking me! I busted my ass trying to find some place, and all you can come up with is that shit?!"

"All right, all right, thank you," Kakuzu grumbled as he massaged his temples. "Not so loud."

Hidan humph'ed and walked out the door. "Most of your crap's in the bedroom already. Let's go get the rest."

If you would have stopped Kakuzu at some point during the day and asked him why in heaven's name was he carrying his household furnishings ten blocks from his former home to a new apartment purchased by a sixteen-year-old hooligan that he'd barely known for six months, he would have been as confused as you. The most plausible answer was that he was tired, his head ached, and above all he'd come to accept that if Hidan was involved, crazy shit was bound to happen, so you might as well make peace with this fundamental principle and just go with it. It took them three hours to move everything, because although the miser had relatively little in the way of home furnishings, moving large bulky items while hung-over is by no means an easy task, and Hidan was fairly exhausted after having moved everything else on his own. And so it was with much relief and joy that they finally set down Kakuzu's mattress in his new room. "About damn time," Hidan declared before flopping down face first into the bed.

"How exactly did you convince my old landlord to let you into my apartment?" Kakuzu asked. He was starting to feel better now, and was up to asking more questions regarding the circumstances of his new home.

The Jashinist scoffed into the bed and turned his head slightly so one eye was now looking up at the miser. "You kidding? The bastard practically broke down the door after I told him he'd never be seeing us again."

Considering how their last conversation had gone, that sounded about right to the miser. Now for more important matters. "Where did you get the money for a security deposit, plus the bribe?" Hidan looked significantly less cocky after hearing the question, and suddenly found a loose stitch on the mattress to be far more interesting than his friend as he mumbled something. "What was that?"

"I got a fucking job, ok?" Hidan snapped. "Last week, at the coffee shop I took you to. Would've told you at dinner, but the damn kitchen caught on fire."

Kakuzu was surprised at the news; so, Hidan had been balancing a job and apartment hunting? That was more than the miser could do. Still, it didn't completely answer his question. "You made enough money for a security deposit in one week, making lattes and espresso?" he asked with heavy disbelief in his tone. Hidan mumbled something else into the mattress that sounded suspiciously like, "pawned some stuff," so Kakuzu decided to let the matter drop and just reimburse the kid when the bank opened back up the next day. For now, he needed a break.

Hidan let out an undignified shriek as Kakuzu climbed onto the unmade bed and roughly booted the younger male off it. "My bed. You want to sleep, go to the couch."

"Tch, asshole," Hidan shot back as he climbed to his feet and began exiting the room.

"Hidan."

The Jashinist turned around in the doorway to stare at the miser, who looked slightly less miserable now that he was back in bed. "If you want to come over some nights, same rules still apply."

Hidan gaped at the miser for all of two seconds before bolting to the side of the bed, eager to make sure he'd heard right. "Seriously!? You're still letting me stay here after all the shit that's happened?!"

The banker shrugged. "Why not? If you burn this place down, I know you'll just get another."

Hidan blinked at his friend for a few moments and then burst out laughing. "Damn it, Kakuzu, you're crazier than me!"

The banker would have agreed, but it had been a very long day considering it wasn't even two o'clock yet, and he was desperate to go back to sleep before anything else could happen. With a sigh, the man closed his eyes and drifted off, praying that when he awoke, his life would bear some semblance to normalcy.