A/N:- As there is only a 4 month gap between the Finale of FRIENDS and the pilot of Joey, and as so many things have happened in the meanwhile, every episode (from the last one actually) will be a roller coaster ride of events! So hold tight! (Sorry, casual episode lovers... not much room..)
Episode 4:- The one with the Godfather dilemma
(Scene is in Monica and Chandler's home. Joey is gently rocking the twins' bassinet to and fro.)
Chandler: How is it going, Joe?
Joey (with obvious glee on his face): Great! That's the longest I've rocked without waking them up! I think I finally am getting the hang of it.
Chandler (smiling): Nice.
(Then he suddenly glances behind and closes the door.)
Chandler (in a low voice): Hey Listen, Joe. I know you've always been upset with us not trusting you with our kids, so tonight I'm gonna give you a chance.
Joey(excited): What do you mean?
Chandler: Well, Monica and I want to attend a special event at her restaurant. So we are gonna let you take care of our babies untill we get back.
Joey: That's great! Oh, this means a lot to me, Thanks buddy!
(Hugs Chandler tightly.)
Chandler: You are welcome, Joe!
(Scene opens in Monica and Chandler's bedroom)
Monica (annoyed): You WHAT?!
Chandler: I had no choice! Rachel and Phoebe said they couldn't come, Ross is saying he can't make it in time, your parents are out of town and mine...Whoa! We really know only a few people! I never thought it would boil down to my parents!
Monica: So what do we do now?
Chandler: We would not have had this problem had we hired a babysitter!
Monica(incredulous): Really? Now is the time you choose for getting at me? We've discussed this, I'm not going to trust our babies to a random stranger!
Chandler (mumbling): It was not exactly a discussion, a speech more like...
Monica: You knew what you were marrying into!
Chandler: Yeah... Why don't we ask Mrs.Sanders daughter?
Monica: But she's really chatty!
Chandler: We could cut to the chase!
Monica: Oh come on! We both know we can't resist her chocolate chip cookies...
(eyes becoming hazy in their memory...)
Chandler: And with that hot chocolate...
(same reaction of both... )
Monica (snapping to reality): See? Just thinking of asking is wasting time!
Chandler : Right. Then Mr.Fredrickson's son?
Monica : Who? That guy who breaks half the eggs so that they are scrambled before even making them?
Chandler: Alright! But why would you trust our neighbours' kids more than Joey anyway? Like you said we hardly know them! You know that Joey won't let anything happen to our babies while he's watching them!
(A few seconds pass. Chandler's expression is gradually changing.)
Monica (sarcastic): You realise the flaw in the plan, big guy?
Chandler (hurries to get his mobile): I'll check whether my parents are in town.
(Title song)
(Scene is in Phoebe and Mike's apartment. Mike is going through mail. A particular letter has got his attention and his face becomes serious immediately. Just then, Phoebe enters through the door and glances at what Mike is doing.)
Phoebe (exclaims): How could you do this to me?
Mike (pale and scared): What?! But I haven't even told you anything about it!
Phoebe: Exactly my point! We promised it was a deal!
Mike (confused): When did we say that? I thought we were open to new opportunities!
Phoebe: We were, but just because I came ten minutes late from work doesn't mean you seize it!
Mike (even more confused): I haven't seized it! In fact I was going to discuss with you right now!
Phoebe (puzzled): What? Hang on...
Mike: We aren't talking about the same thing, are we?
Phoebe: Perhaps not... Let's start over... I'll go first!
(She goes outside of the door and locks it while going. Mike again seats himself on the couch.)
Mike: Ready?
Phoebe (muffled voice behind the door): Ready!
Mike: Scene 1, take 2... and action!
(Phoebe grabs the door handle and shakes it... A few seconds later...)
Phoebe: Errrm, Mike?
Mike (hissing): That was not what you were supposed to say!
Phoebe: I left my keys inside.
Mike (loudly, to no one in particular): Cut!
(Scene ends)
(Scene resumes in Monica and Chandler's bedroom)
Monica (freaking out): Okay, let's just not go.
Chandler: What?! You know that's not an option.
Monica: But Chandler, we have no choice!
Chandler: Mon, listen to me. Let us atleast give him a chance!
Monica: Okay. Fine!
(Both head to the nursery. Joey is now dozing straight into the bassinet.)
(Monica now glares at Chandler in a 'I told you so' way)
Chandler: I think he is watching them up real close...
Monica (exasperated): Oh really?
(Monica knocks hard on the open door)
(Joey suddenly wakes up.)
Joey: Yowza! (notices Monica and Chandler on the door) Oh hey! Sorry, I kind of dozed off.
(Chandler lowers his head to the floor)
(Just then a voice is heard from downstairs. A key is turned and Ross rushes in and up the stairs.)
Ross (panting): Where's the fire? Did you douse it? Oh I'm so glad you guys are safe!
(Hugs both Monica and Chandler.)
Chandler (confused): Fire? What fire?
Ross: Monica told me that the house had caught fire and you guys were outside and couldn't find the key! What is going on?
Monica(artificial smile): Well, good news brother. There's no fire!
Ross (confused then annoyed): What! So you lied to me? Do you realise I put myself in grave danger when I heard of this? I was driving at just 5 miles less than the maximum speed limit! I had to take the fourth gear!
Monica: That's what normal people do, Ross!
Chandler: Why exactly did you lie to him?
Monica: So that he could be here in time!
Joey: Hold on for a second. So you made up all this just so that I won't be alone with the twins? Is that it? You don't trust me at all?!
Monica (beating around the bush): It's not a question of trust, Joe. Because life isn't that simple. Sometimes you have to take hard choices. (Now glaring at Ross) Choices like taking the fourth gear!
Ross: I still can't believe you'd do that to me. Although I'm surprised that I did enjoy driving faster. Anyways, now that I'm here you need not worry. Your twins are in safe hands.
Monica: Thank you!
Ross (Still looking smug): After all, that's what godfathers are for. To take care of the children left alone by their parents.
Monica: Don't make me feel more bad about it than I already am feeling and excuse me?
Ross Joey (in unison): I am their godfather!
(Again together): What?! No you are not!
Chandler (smiling): I think we should give you boys a song.
Ross Joey (in unison): Shut up!
(Finally Ross speaks first.)
Ross: Of course its me, right Mon?
Joey: Tell him it's me won't you Chandler?
Chandler and Monica (together): We have to go!
(Head off while Ross and Joey stare at each other challengingly)
(Scene ends)
(Scene resumes in Phoebe and Mike's apartment)
Mike: Ready?
Phoebe (rattles her keys outside the door.): Ready!
Mike: And action!
(Phoebe comes in and mimics her earlier action)
Phoebe: How could you open the mail without me? We had a deal to open it together!
Mike (mouth rounds into an 'O'): I'm sorry. But I've been expecting this mail for a really long time!
Phoebe: Fine. Before I continue further, I want you to tell me what you thought I was thinking about.
Mike (pales): I...
Phoebe: Oh don't tell me you forgot your lines again! We've already done 3 takes! I've to finish shooting here and head out elsewhere as well, mister!
Mike (sighing): Phoebe, this is serious.
Phoebe (eyes rounded): Oooh, I love drama takes. Just wait a second...
(She is removing something from her purse.)
Mike (speechless): I...
Phoebe (interrupting): UhUh. Wait. (Puts something like drops in her eyes) It'll help me cry. Okay, shoot.
Mike: I thought that somehow you came to know that I...
Phoebe (over dramatising): That you?
Mike (Taking a deep breath): That I have received an offer to run one of the finest bars in New Orleans, and how badly I want to accept it.
Phoebe (Still thinking it was an act): Mike, all I know is that in your happiness lies mine. (Now holding his hands in hers.) That your dreams and desire, I share. Mike, (coming closer and closer) there is nothing in this world that I wouldn't do for you.
(They kiss)
Mike (softly and hopefully): So... that's a yes?
Phoebe (confused, later alarmed): Yes? To what?!
Mike: Moving to New Orleans?
Phoebe: What?!
Mike (now scared): But you just said!
Phoebe (voice steadily rising in pitch): I thought we were doing an act! We've been pulling this kind of stuff on each other everyday Wednesday! It's drama night remember? You really were serious?
Mike (small voice): Yes
Phoebe (even more loudly): Are you out of your senses, Mike Hannigan? Don't you realise it is such a huge decision to make? It will change everything about our lives!
Mike: But you just said that in my happiness lies yours!
Phoebe (rolling her eyes and sighing): Oh Crap! It was just something Joey and I practised for DOOL.
Mike (disgruntled): Also the kiss?
Phoebe (Getting lost in her thoughts): God I wish! 'cause he's such an amazing kisser...
Mike (clearing throat): Pheebs?
(Phoebe is looking uncomfortable and is about to say something, when she receives a call.)
(She says Hello and is met by a particularly loud female voice chattering on the other end.)
Phoebe: All right, I'm coming! You don't have to let the entire Street know that you've arrived on time for the first time in your life! (Ending her call.) Mike, I have to go.
Mike: Pheebs but what about...
Phoebe: We'll talk when I get back Mike, I'm sorry.
Mike (Getting up): Before you go Pheebs, I need you to know that I really mean what you just said, Pheebs. If you are not happy with this then we won't go, but it really is a once in a lifetime opportunity for me Phoebe. So please just think about it...
Phoebe: Hang on... this is also real, right?
Mike: Yes!
Phoebe (smiling understandingly): Of course I will, Mike.
(They kiss again.)
Phoebe (muttering to herself after closing the door): God, I do miss Joey.
(Scene ends)
( Scene resumes in Monica and Chandler's home.)
(Joey and Ross are still glaring at each other.)
Joey and Ross (in unison): I am!
(A few seconds pass... then again the same thing happens.)
Ross: You know what? This could go on forever. Why don't we solve it in a more manly way?
Joey (glaring and nodding): I know exactly what you are talking about.
Ross (doing the same): Then the game is on!
(Scene immediately changes to the game room. The TV screen is displaying UFC. Both Ross and Joey have controllers in hand.)
Ross: There will be 3 matches. The one with the most wins is hereby declared godfather of the Bing twins.
Joey: Deal! (A handshake)
(Joey glances at the screen as both enter names of their characters.)
Joey: Trex? Is that even a name?
Ross: It is not Trex! It's T 'dot' rex! Short for Tyrannosaurus Rex, the famous carnivore dinosaur. BigJoe (Joey's character) will be eaten alive before he even knows it.
(imitates jaws of the dinosaur)
Joey: Oh yeah? Well I think that your Trex will be extinct before my BigJoe even enters the arena!
(Ross is momentarily stumped by his answer.)
Ross: Enough talk, let's fight!
(The game is on. Both guys are concentrating hard on the game. After sometime...)
Ross: What! No! Not on the game!
(A voice is coming from the game... 'Good hit by BigJoe there he sure made Trex bruise like a peach'.)
Joey: Yeah baby!
(The game continues, Both are tied 1-1 as the final death match begins.)
(Both are shouting to their characters. Eventually however, Ross loses the fight.)
(The scene is in slow motion. Ross is exclaiming No! and has hands over his head. Joey is jumping up and down in joy.)
Joey: Yes! There you go! I am now 'The Godfather'
(Puffs out his chest and poses like Superman.)
(Moments later the twins are heard crying.)
Ross: There you go, Godfather. Your first mission.
Joey (Taking a Superman like pose): Godfather to the rescue!
(Scene ends.)
( Scene is in a store. A small, beautiful, yet empty one. A 'for sale' sign is seen hanging on the glass door. Rachel is entering followed by Phoebe.)
Rachel: So? What do you think?
Phoebe (glancing around the place): I think it's haunted!
Rachel(amused): What?!
Phoebe (now whispering): If we stay really quiet, we can hear the footsteps.
(Both stay quiet for a few seconds.)
Rachel: Oh come on, Phoebe! There's no one here!
Phoebe: Follow me.
(Both walk a little bit inside and sure enough a clicking sound is heard on the wooden floor.)
Phoebe: See? It is coming closer! Let's go!
Rachel: Relax,Phoebe. You only heard the sound of my stilettos on the floor.
Phoebe (glancing down): Aahh! Now I know why the world was looking taller to me.
(Standing on her toes.)
Phoebe: Now we are even.
Rachel (hopeful): So what do you think of this place? Is it good?
Phoebe: Good? It's amazing! The only reason someone would not buy this place would be if it were haunted which, (glancing at Rachel's feet) I don't think it is now!
Rachel: So you think I should do this?
Phoebe: Of course you should!
Rachel: And this place is perfectly located! It's not too far from our apartment, closer to Westchester and just next Street from your Spa! You guys can visit me all the time!
(Phoebe's face suddenly becomes serious.)
Phoebe: Yeah...we can I guess...
(Scene ends.)
(Scene resumes in Monica and Chandler's living room. Some time has passed since the twins have started crying. They are still crying.)
Joey (rushing down the stairs): Rescue Godfather! Rescue Godfather!
Ross: Lost your powers huh big guy?
Joey: It's not funny anymore! They won't stop crying!
(Ross still doesn't move.)
Joey: Please, will you just come? Oh don't be such a douche, you are still their uncle!
Ross (Getting up): You are right. I'm still their uncle.
(They reach the nursery. Joey simply watches as Ross handles the situation like a pro. Jack quites down in a minute. Ross hands him to Joey, who carefully takes him in his hands. Ross handles Erica the same way. Erica too stops crying and watches Ross as he makes noises and funny expressions to amuse her.)
Ross: I'm sorry I made such a fuss about it, Joe. 'cause you are right. I'll be their favourite uncle.
Joey (clearing his throat and sitting beside Ross.): No, I'm sorry. I think you should be their Godfather.
Ross (Grins): Really?
Joey: Yeah, I mean look, my first responsibility as a Godfather and I've failed miserably. You on the other hand have experience of raising two kids. You already are a great dad and I'm sure will make the best Godfather.
Ross ( smiling): Thanks. That sure means a lot to me as well.
(A few seconds pass by)
Joey (exclaiming and keeping his voice low): Oh my God, will you look at that! Jack is smiling at me!
Ross: You sure? 'Cause they tend to do that all time. It creeped me out the first time! (Shivering) It is as if they can read your thoughts and say, 'Really? You?!'
Joey: No, this is different! He is looking into my eyes!
Ross (glances over): Oh, yeah! My God, that's precious!
Joey (emotional): It sure is.
(Ross glances at the pair and makes a quick decision.)
Ross: You know what, Joe? We're being stupid about this.
Joey (puzzled): What do you mean?
Ross: I mean there are two kids, and we are two people!
Joey: Where are you going with this?
Ross: Why don't we become the Godfather of a twin each? You be Jack's Godfather, I'll be Erica's!
Joey (getting excited): You sure?
Ross: Yeah, why not?
Joey (too excited to lower his voice): You heard that Jack? I'm going to be your Godfather!
(Jack begins to cry again)
Ross (Taking Jack from him): Yeah, he heard you!
(Scene ends)
(Scene opens in Rachel's to be store. Monica, Chandler walk in followed by Ross and Joey both pushing the stroller together.)
Monica: Will you two stop acting like a gay couple? I've had enough of it with Chandler already!
(Both Joey and Ross release the stroller together.)
Both: Sorry!
Chandler: This sure is an amazing place!
All (other than Rachel of course): Yeah!
Monica: When is the grand opening?
Rachel: It'll take a month or two... there are still things to do. I'm glad you guys love the place.
(All begin exploring the place. Meanwhile, Phoebe decides it was time to discuss the possibility of her moving.)
Phoebe: Guys? Listen... I have to talk to you about something important.
Monica (with glee on her face): You do? Me too!
Phoebe (taken aback, but seizing the chance to delay talking about it): You go first.
Monica: Okay! You won't believe what happened today at the event!
(All are paying attention but are confused.)
Monica: But it's true, so you'd better believe it! My boss that is to say, the owner of Javu sadly passed away just a week ago...
Ross: You don't look sad!
Monica (excited): I tried, but how can I be when his will states that he wants me to own Javu after he passes away?
All: That's amazing! Congratulations!
(All hug Monica)
Monica: Thank you! Oh tonight's been like the best night of my life! I so hope it stays like this!
Phoebe (to herself): Me too...
(All have apparently forgotten that Phoebe had an announcement to make)
(Scene ends)
(Final/ Credits scene)
(Ross is his in his apartment. He has received a call from Joey)
Ross: Hey Joe, What's up?
(Listens to the other end)
Ross: I'm sorry I don't think I'll be there in time. You go alone!
(Listens again)
Ross: What?! Are you serious?
(After listening Ross's expression changes from worry to wry amusement.)
Ross: I'm still not coming. No, I didn't catch your bluff when you said you had got burns. I had listened enough when you told me the ice rink had caught fire.
(End of scene)
(End of episode)