"Two of us down, two to go!" Squidward complained as he and SpongeBob entered the next room. "At this rate we'll never make it to Mr. Krabs."

"Do you think Sandy and Patrick are okay, Squidward?" SpongeBob asked, his voice trembling.

"Uh, sure! They'll back here in no time!" the squid lied.

"But you just said-"

"Anyway," Squidward blurted, clapping a tentacle over the sponge's mouth. Suddenly, he looked around. "Hey…where's the enemy?"

"Ahahaha. So glad you finally recognized my absence," a voice chortled.

"Who said that? Are you a ghost?" SpongeBob wondered.

Out of nowhere, a funny-looking jester appeared. He wore a strange theatrical mask that was half-white and half-black.

"I am no ghost, young invertebrate," he purred. "I am-"

"Ooh! You're that clown with the funny laugh Plankton told me about!" SpongeBob cried. "I can laugh like that, too. Bahahahahahahaha!"

The comical face on the jester's mask became an angry one. "I am not a clown," he said quietly. "I am a jester and a magician."

"Can you show me some magic tricks? One time-"

"SpongeBob!" Squidward growled.

"Yes, Mr. Calamari, tell your little friend to keep his abnormally large mouth shut." The jester's face returned to normal and he spun around majestically in midair. "I am…Dimentio!"

"Calamari?" Squidward said indignantly. "Alright, Di-whatever-io, what makes you think you're so great?"

"For starters," Dimentio began, floating slowly toward the ground, "I can charm you, curse you, jinx you, or hex you. I can fly, and I can teleport." He grinned even wider. "Now what are your special talents?"

Squidward placed a tentacle over his chest. "I happen to be one of the greatest clarinet players I know," he boasted. "I also have an extensive knowledge of classic artists, not to mention my fantastic gardening skills."

"Yeah! Squidward's also an amazing friend!" SpongeBob hugged his "friend", who shoved him away.

"Impressive," Dimentio muttered sarcastically.

"Thank you," Squidward replied.

"But Mr. Ward, I am afraid your pansy-growing techniques will serve as useless in a battle against me. Perhaps you've come to the wrong place…" Dimentio's grin evolved into a smirk. "I mustn't waste my time on such foolishness."

"Oh, puh-lease! Who are you to call me a fool when you're one yourself…literally!"

"HAH! At least I'm not a spineless, floppy-armed appetizer," Dimentio sneered.

"That's better than having no arms at all!"

"Why don't you go and spend some quality time with the Bloopers."

"Why don't you go and cry with the other members of the Phony Harlequin Society!" Squidward shot back. "At least I have some real experience of being a jester. Haven't you ever seen Dunces and Dragons?"

"What, when you pranced around like a half-baked pony?" Dimentio taunted.

"Grrrr!" growled the squid, who had unfortunately run out of insults.

"Okay, guys, break it up," SpongeBob laughed nervously.

Dimentio's wicked grin expanded. "Sorry, lad, but this is nothing compared to what you're about to see. So I'm afraid you'll have to tell your friend ciao."

"Oh, yeah?" Squidward snarled. "Take this!"

Dimentio received a kick to the face.

"Go, Squidward!" SpongeBob cheered.

Keeping a straight face, the magician snapped his fingers and a kaleidoscope-type light shot from his glove. It hit Squidward in the eye.

"Ouch! That's unfair!"

"Ahahaha. Who said anything about playing fair?" Dimentio cackled.

Suddenly, he vanished and reappeared behind Squidward, booting him with his…boot.

"Ack!" Squidward yelped. "Hey!"

"Ahahahahahaha!"

"That's almost as annoying as SpongeBob's laugh," Squidward grumbled.

"SQUIDWARD! LOOK OUT!" SpongeBob screamed.

The magical light was headed Squidward's way. He dodged it by a mere inch.

Frantically, he rummaged through the satchel that he had conveniently brought along. He fished out two cans: one containing canned bread, the other Swedish barnacle balls.

Squidward hurled the barnacle balls at Dimentio. The can broke open and greasy barnacle meat was smeared all over the unfortunate jester's mask.

"Oh, YUCK!" Dimentio shrieked.

A few seconds later he was greeted by the canned bread.

Covered in food and filled with rage, Dimentio shot hundreds of beams of light at Squidward. At the same time, Squidward whipped out his clarinet and began playing abhorrent music.

SpongeBob didn't need anyone to tell him this time. He raced out of the room with nothing but the clothes on his back and the hopes that this next battle would be the final one.