Letters of … What the F##k!

Disclaimer: If I owned this, Antartica would be represented by a penguin. Just kidding!

" Mr. America the mail is here," a White House worker stated as he handed the U.S. of A. today's mail.

Said country was busy at his desk scanning over last weeks findings about the Soviet Union from his brave, heroic spies. How he wished he could be there too. To stalk Ukraine, flee from Belarus, meet up with Lithuania and the other Baltic states, and beat the shizz out of that stupid a$$ commie- Russia. Of course that wasn't what his spies did, but IF he could…yeah.

" Thanks Bob. Leave it by my coffee, would you," America replied, not looking up for a second.

" Sure, Mr. America. But I think you should read this immediately." The man had an I-Can't-Get-Over-The-Fact-Of-How-Obsessed-You-Are-About-This look on his mug.

" Yeah, yeah. After this, ok?" Was the usual reply.

* Sigh * " Very well, sir." Bob swiftly turned around and power walked out of the office.

"Huh. Hey! Don't call me Mr. America! It makes me feel like an old man," he yelled when he finally looked up, " Hey. What's this …"

Sometime Earlier…

" China. How's the satellite? Did it burst into flames yet? Honhonhon," France smirked as he wrapped his arm around the Asian country's waist.

It was an unplanned and rather unwelcome visit for the oldest country. It wasn't much of anything out of the usual, well unless you count the creepy feeling of someone looking at you and it wasn't the smelly French man.

" I'll let you know when your on your deathbed, aru," he replied, removing the groping fingers that had by chance slide down to some lands he didn't want to discuss.

" Honhonhon, as long as your on top of it, no?"

SMACK!

" Oui! I'm seeing stars of once a night in which I had my way with a beautiful woman of twent-"

" I'm going seeing more red spreading across your face if you don't leave, aru! From the east to west, aru!"

Off to the corner was a little white polar bear.

" I wonder when I'll get to speak to him, eh. I need to know if he's considering becoming non-communist, eh. If he doesn't, I'll be putting up with all the stress of Communism spreading, then be blamed for not doing anything, when it should be America on the grill, not me, eh!"

All France and China heard was a slight squeak coming from the little bear's direction. They both exited the room swiftly because, what f****g bear squeaks!

Back to Our Main Programming….

" Privyet! Kto-"

" Listen up Commie! What the f****n' hell is wrong with your screwed up mind! You invited on of my people to your Damn Frozen Hell Hole you a$$! A f***n' child celebrity! What is your boss a pedo!"

Well, it definitely was Amerika.

" Amerika, what on Earth are you talking about?" Was all Russia could think to reply after hearing That warm welcome.

" Like you don't know Commie Ba$***d! I have a copy of a letter inviting on of my child stars' to go visit the F****n' Soviet Union."

Ah, da. I have a letter as well. Also, I have the copy of the letter in which your star mailed to my boss. Therefore, you are to blame for this, Amerika." He couldn't see him face to face but America was sure Russia was smiling that freaky smile of his over the phone.

" I-is that true Al, eh?" Oh, yeah. And Canadia was being the back up again.

" How the hell you have a copy and I don't!" Now America was sh** mad!

" It is not my fault your people are so unorganized. Hum. I look forward to seeing you again, Amerika. As we pass by, we'll wave 'hi' to you*.

-Click-

" Oh we'll see each other commie! Just you wait! I'll have the last wave! F***n' communist ba$****d!"

-Click-

And Canida was left on the line once again, wondering," What the H-E- double hockey sticks, just happened?"

A/N : Yeah. Sorry. It's so long to post. School's bloody murder! Pardon the expression. The debate goes on and still no pairing compromises. Only one person has said anything so thanks 'laurab'! ^~^ We are considering it. Maybe a chap. Just for you! Anyone else, just review or message us about it. We are desperate!

Historical Notes: - In 1970 of April 24 , the People's Republic of China launched its first satellite, which kept transmitting a song, " The East is Red."

- April 25, 1983. Soviet leader Yuri V. Andropov invited Samantha Smith to visit his country after receiving a letter from the Manchester, Maine, schoolgirl. ( Child star has well.)

* 1959 In the Soviet Union during the famous debate between VP Nixon and SP Khrushchev at a trade fair in Moscow featuring American kitchens, Khrushchev said to Nixon :

" This is what America is capable of, and how long has she existed? Three hundred years? One hundred fifty years of independence and this is her level. We haven't quite reached forty-two years, and in another seven years, we'll be at the level of America, and after that we'll go farther. As we pass you by, we'll wave 'hi' to you."

It's funny how America's a boy in the series as well as Russia and yet both people say something like the song "God Bless America" saying "her" and the statement " Mother Russia."