I placed my diary in the place where I knew it was safe, the back of my closet and under the floor boards. It would always be safe there, it was the one place that even a vampire couldn't track it even if they were trying to find it. I don't know why that is true but it is, thank god I found that out too. I don't want anyone going looking for my diary, I don't want anyone else into my mind besides Aro and my brother. They are the only two that really should be able to get into my mind. . . with my permission that is.
I got changed into something that I would like to be seen in, some sweat pants that I had in my closet for god knows how long and an old tang top. No shoes, just a good pair of socks, the king that were good for running around and sliding it. I didn't care, I was going to have a good night tonight. . . who would I be seeing that I really wanted to impress? I wasn't working, I wasn't going to be seeing any of those Cullens, nor would I be seeing Aro. What was the point of dressing up with there's no one to dress up for in the first place? No reason at all, so I didn't.
I left my room and walked through the halls, slowly listening into everyone's conversations that were going on. Everyone was where they were supposed to be. . . maybe because it was five in the moving but they were all tucked away in their rooms. The Cullens were in their area of the castle, the guard – besides me and my brother were either keeping a watch out for anyone who maybe coming in or in their corridors. Most of the guard had rooms that were in the basement, only Heidi and Renata had rooms outside of the basement.
The music room was on the main floor, it was close to the banquet hall where we would be holding the ball, but it was far enough so that I would not think about it just yet. The hall was so beautiful and so big that it could fill a whole football stadium without even really being packed, it was a perfect place for all occasions. I entered the musical room to listen to a beautiful song being played on the piano.
It my surprise it was Edward Cullen playing on the piano, he was playing My Immortal by Evanescence. He was so good at it that it seemed like he was just listening to the CD, he was an amazing piano player. I could not believe that he was a musician, the song maybe me want to sing along with it. He was getting to where there were words, but was not singing along. So I started to for him.
" I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone." Edward looked up at me and stopped playing. " I'm sorry, it's just that I love that song, I'll leave you be if you want me to." I said looking down at the ground, why did I wear these clothes again?
" You have a very beautiful voice Jane." He said and patted for me to come down on the piano stool with him, which I took.
" Thank you, as you play the piano amazingly." I smiled. " Please keep going." I sounded like I was begging.
" Only if you will sing for me." He gave me a crooked smile.
" Sure." He continued to play the song, right from where we left off.
I would sing every part correctly and he would play it just the same. My voice was not as good at the singer was, but Edward was just as good or better then the piano player from the band was. At the end of it I hugged Edward with an unexpected hug, which he hugged back to. I hadn't noticed that we had gotten a crowd to watch over us.
All of the Cullens, my brother, Sulpicia and Aro were all watching over us. Why couldn't I have dressed up a little more, now I looked like a fool in front of everyone, hair soaked and up a messy pony tail, in sweats. In front of my master, his wife and guests. God I looked like a fool compared to Sulpicia
Sulpicia looked amazing like she always did, with her hair up in a perfect little bun, her blond hair was barely showing from under her cloak. Under the cloak was a beautiful red dress that hit the floor and flowed around her. She looked like she should be going to the Golden Globs or something even better then that. She looked amazing, like always.
Everyone started to clap, even Aro did. I couldn't believe that a fool of myself I just made. I looked like a fool! Oh god how could I have done that, I mean really? I thought inside of my head, Edward nudged my lightly and whispered into my ear.
" You were amazing, don't think that. Besides, you look beautiful to me, if that means anything." He smiled.
" My dear Jane, why haven't I ever heard you sing before?" Aro asked moving closer to me.
" Oh, I usually don't sing in front of people. I do it when I'm alone most of the time, then I heard Edward playing and I loved the song, so I sang along." I was spitting out words a mile a second.
" It was marvelous dear, you and Edward must play at the ball, together." Sulpicia said, oh Jesus! It spoke! I thought inside my head, Edward laughed so hard. " What?" She asked. I knew she was really a dumb blond, that's why Aro hides her in the background! Edward laughed again.
" I wouldn't mind, would you Edward?"
" I would be honored." He said. : I will do it. . . if Jane will sing us another song, and play her guitar." He said.
" What?!" I screeched.
" Yes, please do dear. I would love to hear you play." Aro said.
" Yeah! I wanna see if you can really play, or if Edward just being a prude again." Emmett joked.
" She's really good. Trust me, I'm her brother, I don't lie." Alec smiled and winked at me.
" I would love to hear you play." Esme said and gave me a smile.
" Okay!" I said.
I walked over to my locked guitar case and unlocked it slowly. I wondered what song I should play, I didn't want to mess up around them all. I was nervous and I wanted to prove to Aro that I was really good. I picked out a Chase Coy song when I looked back and him. I knew from that moment that I was going to sing, If the Moon Fell Down Tonight by Chase Coy. The song was all about him, from point A to point B.
I started to play that song, I knew that no one but Alec knew it. I looked at Aro the whole time, keeping eye contact with him was key, I needed to let him know that I was singing all about him and for him. The whole time that I would break the contact was when I needed to look down at the guitar to make sure that I wasn't messing up. I made sure that I didn't mess up, although my voice was off a few times, since no one knew that song it was all good in the end.
Everyone clapped when I finished, Aro was in shock but still clapped. You could just see on his face that he was shocked that I sang about him, he also knew that I was singing about him too. I smiled so deeply that he knew I was singing to him. That he liked my singing too, I don't know how he liked my singing or how anyone did, but they did. Emmett walked up to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.
" Man, you have a heart after all girl." He joked around.
" Yeah, I just don't show it when I'm working most of the time. Kinda can't." I said looking from Emmett back to Aro. Emmett started to laugh at this.
" I get why." He got real close to my ear and whispered so lightly into my ear. " Prudes." I laughed so hard at this.
" Alice, would you want to go shopping with Jane soon? She was telling me before we started to sing that she needed a dress for the ball and wanted to have a good look. Since I know that you are amazing at picking out outfits I thought maybe you would want to go shopping with her." Edward winked at me.
" Really?!" Alice shouted.
" Sure if you really want to, I guess." I said.
" When!?"
" Today if you want." She screeched and hugged my tightly.
" I need to go get ready!" She ran out of the room and toward hers as fast as she could, Jasper sighed and slowly followed her. Alec left soon after them, he had to work today and needed to get ready.
" Guess I'm going shopping today, do you mind Master?" I wasn't going to let his rep go while guests were around, no matter what he said.
" Not at all my dear, have fun." He said, I noticed that Sulpicia's hand was making it's way up his body. She must have been talking to him through her mind. " We must be going now." He smiled as he left.
" Finally!" Rosalie said. " We don't have to be so damn proper. Now I know why you act the way you do when your working Jane!" She winked at me as she went for Emmett, who was playing the drums.
" You guys have fun in her, I need a shower. Badly." I said before leaving.
I walked out of the room and started toward my bedroom, I made it to the stairs before seeing to figures standing next to the stairs. I knew who they were before of his scent, I knew that scent anywhere. It was the scent that I have grown to love now.
Aro had his arms around Sulpicia's hips so tightly that I could see her hips through her dress. She was holding onto his neck and pulling him in closer to her, they were going in for a kiss. It was like a train wreck for my mind, I couldn't help but to watch them They were so passioned with each other, he kissed her like it would be their last kiss on earth. He hadn't kissed me like that, he never would either. She smiled at him like she had won a million bucks, like she had a cure for cancer.
" I love you Aro." Her voice chimed, now she had a beautiful voice. Why couldn't I have a voice like her?
" I love you too Scully dear." He smiled at her. Why couldn't I have a nickname? Why couldn't he say he loved me? Why?
I ran right behind him, he turned around to see me running up the stairs and running into my room. I didn't know if he was going to be following me up here, I didn't care. I needed to write into my diary, I needed to write everything I was feeling out.
December 9th, 2010
Dear Diary,
Why can't Aro love me like he does Sulpicia, he said that he loved me! Why can't he give me a nickname, why can't he tell me that he loves me too. Why can't he do all the things that he does with her? He told me to my face that he has feelings for me, why can't he just show me that he has feelings for me like he has feelings for her?! What are we not that equal that he can't share his feelings, does the girl that's had him longer get more out of him?! I don't understand what's so different from me to her.
Well yes I do actually, she's so much more beautiful then I will ever be, she is proper and older then I can be. She is everything that Aro needs, I will always be nothing that he needs besides a guard. She is beautiful in every way, she has the right hair and the right clothes. I wore sweatpants and a tang top in front of him today! While she wore her dress robes and her cloak! I looked like a fool.
My heart feels like it's splitting in half, like it's going to crack down the middle if it could. I feel worse then empty, I feel dead now. I feel like there is nothing in life, I feel like nothing now. The hole in my heart has made it's way through my body, into my blood stream and into my skin. It's all over me now, I feel like a shadow would feel. I feel like I should never talk, just stay in the background and so that I should always do. When I am not needed I should just disappear away from his life. Never any different.
Why do I always look like a fool in front of him????
-Jane
PS: The Cullens ain't so bad after all. Huh who knew? Going shopping with Alice Cullen today.
" Jane?" Aro said knocking on my door.
" Yes Master?" I needed to play this good.
" May I come in?"
" If you want to." I said, placing my diary into my nightstand's draw. He entered the room quickly. " I am sorry you had to see all of that, it must have-" I cut him off.
" You were showing your wife that you love her Master, what is wrong with that?" I asked.
" Jane?" He was confused.
" What happened outside was nothing, it will never be anything. Lets just forget it all happened Master." I smiled at him.
" What are you talking about Jane?"
" The way that I see it is, You love her, she loves you. I'm just getting in the way, clouding your vision. You can go back to loving her and forget about me. I can act like this never happen, and act like you love me." I looked down at the ground.
" There a thing to that Jane." He moved to my bed where I was sitting, he sat next to me. " I do love you Jane." His words shocked me. Love?
" What did you just say?" I had to be sure that he said those words.
" I love you Jane." He pulled my lips towards his with his hand on my chin. I learned in for the kiss and it was magical. I felt the fireworks yet again, amazing.
" I-I. . . Love. . . You. . . To. . . Aro." My words were spaced and I was still stuttering the words out. He smiled the smile of my life. He pulled me into his chest and laid onto my bed, pulling me down with him.
We stayed in my bed for hours of time, just me and him. The magic continued, I felt his body around mine and felt my body go numb. I don't know why it happened, but for another odd reason I didn't want the numbness to go away either. I didn't want to move from this, I didn't want to end this dream ever. This is all a dream, this is some kind of vampire love dream, there must be some way that I am dreaming all this. Maybe I died and this is my heaven mixed with some hellish things. This is where I belonged, this is where he should always have been. I don't know if he felt the magic like I do, but I knew the magic was real. That we shared something more then just a high school type of fling. Ours was true and forever, even if I had to share him with another girl.
Aro had to leave though, I had to get ready for shopping today. He had to be the leader of the Volturi and I was going out with Alice Cullen. His was a typical day, greeting people, most likely killing a vampire or two, telling the guard what to do, and making plans for the ball now also. He was going to be very busy all day, it was a damn good day to be off shopping. Mine wasn't at all like normal, not it any sort of all would it be normal. Thank god that it was a cloudy day, or we would be wearing our cloaks, that would've sucked. But I got to wear the only pair of shorts I had.
They were low cut on me, something that I never wore because of the fact they were so low cut, and jean shorts. I wore a white t-shirt with it, just a white button up shirt with sleeves that came only around my shoulders. I decided to wear heels for the first time in years, mostly because I would have to remember how to walk in them for the ball that was coming up soon too. It was going to be easy to remember, but I just needed practice I guess. I picked out my Stilettos that were black. All in all I had to say I looked damn hot, I felt my hair down to add onto the look.
I met up with Alice in the front of the castle, but had to make sure that Aro would see me before we left, so I went to his office to make sure that he would get a glimpse of me. He, Caius and Marcus were all working very hard though, so I knocked on the door.
" Come in!" Caius said.
" Hey guy's I'm about to leave, but do you guy's know if it's supposed to be sunny or not?" I asked walking into the room, all three of their mouths dropped, I smiled. " What?" I asked like I knew nothing was different.
" Wow." Caius said.
" Jane?" Marcus asked.
" Hi!" I said.
" You look. . . different from normal." Aro blurted out.
" Thanks I think, so sunny or not?"
" N-Not supposed to be." Marcus stuttered out.
" Good. Okay bye guys!" I walked out and could feel all of them watching me, mostly Aro though. I walked out to find Alice right at the door.
" If you could have only seen their faces! Amazing." She laughed.
" Oh, I know." I smiled evilly. " They looked so confused."
" Your good." She said and took me by the hand. " So I was thinking that we would go to-"
" Alice, wherever you want to go I'm up for." I said and she smiled so wildly.
Alice took me shopping from place to place. I got so many new pairs of clothes that I thought that I was going to have to get ride of so many things in my closet. I had so many new pairs of clothes that I would need a bigger wardrobe just to fit my shirts in! We got a lot of dressed, because that's was a female in the Volturi guard should wear when their working. Most of them thought were new aged and fun, stuff that a teenager would wear instead of an old Volturi girl like myself.
My dress to the ball was my favorite thing though, it was beautiful and also in polyester. It was strapless and had a sweetheart neckline. It had an almost pleated skirt type of thing going on, which just means that it has more then one piece of fabric coming down from the bottom. It has a little black ruffle thing that came out from the bottom, all of it came up to above my knee caps, but not on my thigh either, it was that line right between it. I had a ribbon placed on my waist to make it look better, the ribbon was black. Everything was perfect, Aro was going to love this so much. I hope.