MONDAY
She was sitting at a table, stoking the material of her freshly pressed suit, and waiting for her brunch-date to arrive. As she saw a tall figure emerging in the corner of her eye, she turned her gaze to the entrance – and then quickly averted her eyes since the face was unknown.
He was late. Rory herself had been there pretty early, but as the time came close to a quarter past ten, she began to be bothered. They had agreed to meet at ten o'clock.
Reaching down to seize the phone in her purse - to check for missed messages - she suddenly heard his voice, as he called her name.
She raised her head and watched his form zigzagging its way through the room to her table. She noticed that he was casually clothed; wearing a t-shirt and blue jeans - and Rory suddenly felt both uncomfortable and overdressed in her smartly pressed suit.
"Hi!" she smiled at him, standing up to greet him.
"Hi!" he heaved, obviously out of breath. "I'm sorry I am late!"
"Oh no" Rory replied, waving her hand in comfort before continuing; "Strictly speaking, you are actually not. Little known fact - a meal is not considered to be brunch, if its starts before ten thirty."
He smiled at her, questioning; "Is that so?"
"That it is." Rory nodded, and turned towards the table as Hugo gestured for her to sit down.
"So" he said, as they had placed themselves at the table; "Is that another thing they teach you at Yale?"
"No" Rory replied "My grandmother deserves the praise for that."
"Hm" he said, contemplating for a moment before saying; "But, then what about second breakfast?"
Rory shrugged, and said in an unfussy tone; "It's kind of the same. But as a brunch is meant to surrogate both the breakfast and the lunch – I guess it would mean that if you have breakfast, than you can't have brunch. Then, I suppose it's…"
"A second breakfast." Hugo intersected, nodding in agreement.
"Yeah" Rory agreed, smiling in his direction.
After they ordered their meals, they engaged themselves in a discussion concerning a very intriguing article in Hugo's magazine's latest issue - about the Chinese market, and the danger of a superpower-in-waiting.
"By the way, congratulations!" Hugo said, suddenly remembering. Smirking and raised his glass he said; "Feelin' good?"
"Oh, you heard?" Rory said and blushed faintly, while her hand unconsciously sought her finger with the ring. "Thanks! It feels… great, I guess."
Hugo seemed somewhat puzzled, staying silent for a second before asking in a baffled voice; "Heard - what?"
Rory blinked, and hastily answered in a high voice; "No – Yeah, the graduation! …It feels great!"
Hugo's eyes considered the figure in front of him in stillness, probing for answers. As he watched her closely pressing her hands together, with the right one sheltering the left, he raised his eyes to meet her gaze - raising his brow in question.
Rory saw the look on his face and relaxed her hands in response, revealing at the same time the hidden gem on her finger.
Feeling pretty proud of his deductive skills, Hugo nodded once and stated; "You're engaged. Wow! Well, congrats on that, too."
"Well, thanks" Rory said, feeling embarrassed.
"Impressive, I'd say; marrying into the Huntzberger family. That is something." His voice had found a teasing pitch, and Rory responded with a guilty grin.
"Yeah, well" she shrugged and continued with a slight scowl forming in her face; "Believe it or not, that part was actually never on my Christmas list."
Hugo raised his eyebrow, but said nothing. Instead he took a massive bite of his sandwich and started chewing.
After thinking and chewing for a moment, he finally swallowed - then declared in a strident voice; "That Mitchum is a total ass, by the way. A brilliant ass - but an ass, no less"
"True." Rory agreed, and the two of them smiled in joint agreement.
"Ok." Hugo declared in a decisive tone while wiping his sandwich-sticky hands on the napkin. "To the point. The reason why I called you, Rory, was to talk to you about a job. It's a spot on Obama's campaign tour, and I believe you'd be perfect for it."
"Oh…" was Rory could utter, before being interrupted.
"It is hard work, but a great experience. You'd get to meet a lot of great people, and also have the chance to form great associations."
"Well…" Rory began, trying to intersect - but Hugo pushed on.
"The fact is that I have spoken to a few people, and told them about you. I told them of how remarkable you are, and that you have the prospective to become something grand one day. And well, after some arm-twisting and lots and lots of chatting I am proud to say that I have secured a ticket on that train for you."
Rory swallowed hard. She tried to speak, but didn't know what to say. Just now, had he really said all those stuff about her? She felt a warm and bubbly feeling spreading within, and all of a sudden she beamed at him as she felt unable to control herself. This was the most flattering anyone had ever said to her. The fact that it was Hugo Gray himself who said it, made it even more remarkable.
"I don't know what to say" Rory began, still not capable to control her wide grin. "Well, first of all - thank you so much! I mean, for sticking up for me and for thinking of me. Thank you!"
Hugo raised his hand in a reassuring gesture and said; "You don't have to thank me. I did it as I trust you can do it." He hesitated for a instant before going on in a more solemn tone; "And I also heard that you didn't get the Reston Fellowship. I'm sorry about that, by the way."
Rory's face fell a little, and her eyes examined her hands whilst she said in a try-to-be-chippy voice; "Yeah, well what can you do, right."
Hugo shook his head, and glance at her with pity in his eyes. "No, he said "that was messed up. It was. You should have gotten that spot, Rory. But, sometimes things happen."
Rory frown in the confusion she felt, while asking hesitantly; "What things? Do you know something?"
Hugo evaded Rory's eyes, apparently busy folding his napkin.
"Do you know something?" Rory asked for a second time, with more sternness in her voice.
A dreadful and horrifying thought had started to form within her, and she wanted him to tell her that it wasn't true.
Hugo finally heaved a sigh, and elevated his eyes to meet up with hers.
"Yes" he said, in a drained voice. "But it's only gossip. I don't know anything for sure."
"Tell me" she could hear her own voice, husky and hard.
"Well, what I've heard is the one in charge for choosing the interns for the Fellowship is an old chum of Mitchum Huntzberger. They apparently became bosom buddies at a boarding school, playing house or whatever frat boys do to entertain themselves." Hugo paused, surprised by the look in Rory's face. If looks could kill, he thought.
He cleared his throat, and continued in a more tentative way; "Anyway, - and this is only rumors, - but apparently, your name was in the running for the fellowship –that is, as the story says, -until Mitchum had a little talk with his old pal, - and your name was, somehow, - taken from the list." He swallowed hard, studying the woman in front of him as she sat in stillness.
After a moment she lifted her eyes and met his gaze, and said in a pleasing voice; "I'm sorry, I have to go. I totally forgot that I… That I have to go." She rose and stood fiddling with her purse, trying to grab something inside it.
Hugo rose as well, and extended his hand for her to grab. When she did, he held it captive, holding her gaze and telling her to please think about the job offer.
"The campaign train leaves in ten days. So, its short notice, but as I said – I think that you would love it." He hesitated before continuing in a low and serious voice; "Please, call me when you know your answer. I'll give you until Friday to decide. And… I'm sorry, Rory."
She smiled at him with the same pleasant look as before, and excused herself after thanking him for everything yet again.
He watched her leave; watched her figure zigzag its way out - and wondered in silence if he had done the right thing in telling her. He sighed heavily and sat down to finish his coffee. She would probably take the job, and therefore he had probably not seen the last of her. That thought made him smile, while sipping his coffee.
Rory knew that in the state she was, she shouldn't be driving. But as she really needed to get home, she had no choice. Her inside was boiling, and she needed to get home to decide what to do.
Watching the passing road sign she sighed in frustration. Still 60 miles to go. This was taking forever.
When she had heard Hugo telling the story about her and her soon-to-be father in law, she had felt anger as she never felt it before. She knew that she shouldn't yet jump to conclusion, but in her heart she had been certain that what had told her was the truth. Since then she had been fighting to shut down her emotions, as they otherwise were threatening to get the better of her.
She had to remain cold for now. She had to remain rational at this point. She had to remain sensible to start figuring out what to do.
First of all she had to know, for sure, that the rumors were actually true. Even though she knew she had to go directly to the source of the evil for those answers, she had to be sure. Then, of course, she had to tell Logan. Partly because it concerned him in every possible way, and partly because they had made a promised to never keep secrets from each other. It wouldn't be easy, but she had to tell him. Then she had to decide how to react to this new information and how to deal with whatever came next. She had to figure all these things out, but not until she got home. She had to remain cold until then. She had to shut down the overpowering emotions and concentrate on getting home.
She bit her lip and focused on the road ahead. She didn't want to think or feel, but yet pictures came flooding in. It was a memory lane that painted out the full picture of the complicated relationship Rory had with her soon to be father-in-law, and the full reason why things had come to this. Their interactions could be seen as an ongoing battle of wills, with their equality in determination and unwillingness to buckle being the reason for their feud. Seen in that light, the last move of Mitchum would have been his response to her previous one. In Mitchum's eyes that move on Rory's part had been getting Logan to resign from the Huntzberger group. If that was true, he truly did think quite highly of her, Rory thought with a smirk. His latest punch in her stomach had been in revenge, and if seen as such, then Rory could finally understand his reasoning behind betraying her. If that was so, than she could understand, but she could not forgive.
The first memory took place in a dining-room, as she was sitting at the Huntzberger family's dinner table - in a blue, beautiful dress. Around her the agitated voices of Logan's family were speaking. They were saying things she couldn't get, things about her. She turned her eyes to her blue, beautiful dress and smoothed the fabric gently. It was a dress her mother had made her. She sat in silence as the voices told her the hurtful things, the things she couldn't get. She did not move and did not say a word in response. She looked up into Logan's eyes and took his hand. As they fled together she could hear the voices echoing inside, taunting her with their words.
The scenery changed, and she was suddenly in a conference room at the Stamford Eagle Gazette. She had a notpad in her hand and was sitting opposite a serious looking Michum Huntzberger, smiling. She felt her face fall when she heard the unexpected words from his mouth. Feeling stunned, she asked him the questions that really didn't matter. It didn't matter, just as nothing else mattered. She was in shock, and couldn't believe this was actually happening. In rigid movements she stood up, and moved towards the door. She turned around and faced him as he delivered the last strike to her shattered dreams. 'Thanks', was last word she said in defiance.
The scenery changed yet again and she was in the hospital, filling a cup of coffee in the hallway, dressed in sweats. When she suddenly saw a familiar figure in the corner of the eye she looked up. In front of her she saw Michum Huntzberger, standing in the hallway, hesitantly watching her. She met his gaze with a fierce look, and for a brief second she made him flinch. As she extracted her arm and pointed towards the room where her broken Logan laid, she held his gaze. Then she stood there, watching him, as he slowly walked down the hallway to his son.
The scenery dissolved into the next one and she was in the elevator leaving their old apartment at Yale. She wore her finest coat and a shiny dress, and was firmly holding on to her purse with both hands. Next to her was Michum Huntzberger. He was speaking to her, but she decisively refused to meet his eyes. Suddenly he pressed a button, and the elevator stopped. His eyes demanded hers to meet his, and they unconsciously obliged. He told her things she didn't want to hear, but yet couldn't help but to understand. As she realized her defeat, she averted her eyes and looked at the floor. She stood there, still in silence, when he hastily left her behind with her thoughts.
The last memory was the most significant one. Rory didn't want to think of that particular one, as it consisted of her telling Mitchum about her aspiration and application for the Reston Fellowship. It had happened during the dinner at Logan's 25th birthday, and Rory felt both shame and frustration when thinking of how she behaved. She had easily been manipulated, and ended up doing and being things she did not like. She had felt like a young girl, trying too hard to impress. That's why, Rory though angrily. That's why I told him about my application to the fellowship at the New York Times. She felt ashamed at that though, but it was nonetheless the truth. If what Hugo had told her was accurate, that would mean that this was the time she had handed him the ammunition herself. Rory winced at that thought. "Great" she murmured, to no one in particular "That is just freaking great." With that, it was game-set-match, and Mitchum had ultimately beating her to a pulp.
Rory was convinced that Mitchum blamed her for Logan's leaving of the company, meaning that he thought her responsible for his rejection of the destiny and the family obligation he had forced on his son. Rory smiled at that thought. Mitchum had by that action made it quite clear that he thought her far more influential than she actually was.
Logan had of course decided for himself, what to do and how to do it. Rory had actually not even known about it until later, when he had flown down to North Carolina to tell her. She had been angry with him at that time, and didn't really feel like seeing him at that point. But, as it was, she loved him, and couldn't help but forgive him. When he had told her what he had done, and what in meant she had felt such enormous pride and relief on his behalf. She had known too well just how much his father's demand had affected him, and how it had made him feel trapped. As he now stood before her, she could see the change on his face. He had liberated himself, and in that opened up the future to endless of possibilities. How could she respond to that, she had wondered. Without words she had reached out and taken hold of his hand, combining and connecting them. United they had stood there, on the front lawn, by the car, somewhere in North Carolina – holding on to each other's warmth while looking forward to the uncertain future.
The first thing Rory did when finally reaching home, was to call her mother. She wanted to tell someone, and Lorelai was the best person for the job. As Rory explained all that had happened since that morning, she made an effort to keep her voice free from any of the inner turbulence she was experiencing. She didn't really feel like sharing, and neither did she want to worry her mother. This was Rory's own fight, and she didn't want anyone else to suffer from it.
Then finishing the story she noticed that the other end of the line had been quiet for quite some time. Wondering if the connection had been broken, she asked her mother if she still was there.
"Yeah, I'm still here. Um.. I'm coming, Rory. I'll just… I'm coming right now, wait for me. Ok?"
And with that the connection was ended, as Lorelai had hung up before Rory could oppose. Realizing that her attempt to sound casual and non-caring had failed miserably, Rory found herself standing frozen and with the phone firmly gripped in her hand.
Suddenly feeling even more anxious, she tried to occupy herself by watching some TV. She had forgotten that daytime television wasn't the most elevated choice for good entertainment - and in the heat of the moment she found herself both engrossed and fulfilled by the drama playing out on the screen.
When her mother arrived, heaving slightly and clearly worn out, Rory didn't even react. The power of the escapism she had embarked upon was too great.
The woman standing in the doorway was watching the picture in front of her. It was a bit odd, and almost made Lorelai smile. Her daughter wasn't usually a big fan of soap-operas, but she was clearly enjoying it now. The smile never came though, as the woman saw the younger one's face. Her heart missed a beat, and she wanted nothing more than to run over and hold her, like she never done before. The look on her daughters face was both defiant and hard, as she was ready for battle.
Taking a deep breath she collected herself, and slowly walked to the couch and sat herself next to the younger woman. She glanced at the TV, glanced back at Rory and asked in a low and somber voice; "So, is Laura still in to Luke?"
Rory sighed, smiled quickly and answered "Yeah, like two pieced of a puzzle."
"So, that means…" Lorelai began tentatively.
"...we're still in this universe." Rory completed, nodding in agreement and still facing the captivating drama playing out on the screen. She then leaned forward and pressed the off-button on the remote, saying adieu to all the petty conflicts that signify an awful show. She had a handful of that herself to deal with, as her life at the moment was filled with drama of the actual kind
She turned to face the woman to her right, her mother. Taking a breath she tried to sound cool; "Thanks for coming. You really didn't have to, but thanks. You actually hung up so fast that I didn't have the time to tell you that …it's all good. I'm all fine."
Lorelai didn't answer, but by holding Rory in a steadfastly gaze she finally made her succumb. The younger woman averted her eyes, and slumped where she sat. Her look of defiance slipped off, and uncovered a fatigue that made Lorelai feel a twinge of sadness.
"It's all just so …messed up, you know." Rory said in a weary manner.
"Yeah, I know" Lorelai responded in a hushed voice, whilst embracing her daughter's drained face with her eyes.
"I feel like my head is going to explode" Rory continued, and the anguish she felt was exposed into her voice "On the way home I almost lost it, I was so angry I couldn't breathe."
"You should have called. I could have come to get you." Lorelai retorted, feeling both sad and concerned.
"No, it's ok. I …I needed time to think. …To decide what to do." was Rory's tentative answer, closing her eyes while she spoke.
This was followed by silence, as Lorelai held back in dread. She felt a fearful anticipation for her daughter's choice, and worried about her own reaction. Finally she took a deep breath and asked in a serious and steady voice;
"Did you? I mean, did you figure out what to do?"
Lorelai was hoping for an answer, a specific one, that involved Rory pulling a diamond ring of her finger, tossing it away and screaming 'to hell with all of it, I've had enough!' She was aware of the unrealistic nature of that wish, though. She decided to be more general in her upcoming production of dreams, to be more within a successful range of predicting the future.
"I need to call Logan." Rory answered, and the sound of her voice brought her mother back to the present. "And - I guess I need - to ask his …father, to find out if the rumor is even true." Rory concluded her statement with a series of sighs and groans that revealed just how thrilled she was over that last part.
"Quite the family, those Huntzbergers." Lorelai said in a matter-of-factly way, to no one I particular.
"Yeah" was the younger woman's short reply, delivered with an earnestness that matched her face's expression; and which took her mother by surprise.
The room fell suddenly quiet. While Rory was in deep contemplation, Lorelai was silently arguing with herself regarding the 'should' and 'shouldn't do' in the present situation. On the one hand she wanted to tell her daughter everything, and by that truly speak her mind. On the other hand she knew that is would be both messy and wrong, as she already had decided to let her daughter make her own choices – and support her no matter what. When the argument that the latest indiscretion à la Huntzberger was reason enough to reverse her earlier stance, Lorelai was finally won over. She had reasons enough to question her daughter's choice, she concluded.
"Rory, I have to ask something" she began, feeling the apprehension building inside her. She had to pause and swallow, as she felt as something was stuck in her throat.
Rory had ended her inner deliberation, and was now leisurely turning her head to her mother. "What?" she asked in a drowsy voice.
"A-are you absolutely sure you want to marry Logan?"
The voice that came out sounded like someone else's, Lorelai thought. It was hard, dry and hoarse. It sounded terrible, and she felt dreadful. Diffidently turning her eyes at her daughters face, she saw exactly what she had feared the most. She saw the look of disappointment staring back at her - the betrayed look in her daughter's face.
Rory felt her face fall, and her heart sink. No, she though. No, no, no. She couldn't believe her mother would do this, not now – not today of all days. She turned the other way, as she couldn't face the look in her mother's eyes. It was filled with compassion, guilt and an overwhelmingly portion on righteous honesty. Rory couldn't stand that look, as it made her feel furious. She concentrated on her breathing to soothe herself down, trying to take control of her passion. She didn't want to argue with her mother over this; not today.
"Rory…" she heard her mother's voice tailing its way into her pond of composure.
"No." she answered in a low but tense voice, while still holding her head averted; "You do not get to 'Rory' me, mom."
"I just…" her mother started once more, and the nature of her tone made Rory's fury howl. So pretentious and condescending, she thought in a mild to moderate overreaction.
She turned her head and boldly met her mother's, independently perceived, disdainful eyes.
" 'You just' - what, mom?"
Lorelai hesitated when she saw the blazing look in her daughter's face, and felt a sudden urge to refrain from going any further. Rory's anger and disappointment was like a blade in her belly, but she had to endure. She knew she just had to go on.
"I-I just want you to think this over, Rory. I want you to be really sure" the strange, hoarse voice said.
Rory felt the anger roasting inside her, and could only refrain from yelling by a great determination to stay civil.
"But I have thought it over. I am really sure." She said in a restricted voice, and fell quiet.
She was struggling with the question of whether or not she should confide in her mother. Rory really didn't feel like explaining herself to Lorelai, not when she was bestowing Rory with something like this - on this of all days. In the same time she wanted to make things abundantly clear, and make her mother finally understand her completely. Rory took a lungful of air, and then her angry words started to pour out;
"Do you honestly think that I don't know how you actually feel, mom? I do. I do know! I know that you never liked Logan, and that you never ever gave him a chance. I know that you think he is wrong for me, for some reason. I also know that you wanted me to refuse his proposal, and that you lied when saying that you were happy for me. I mean, how could you be happy when I was accepting to marry someone as Logan; right? I know all this, and I am still sure I want to be with him. Even though I know it hurts you, and I never ever want to hurt you. So yes mom, I am – really- sure."
Lorelai was both taken aback and stunned by her daughter's words. She had never had any reason to believe that Rory knew how she felt. As the two women never had fully touched on the subject, Lorelai had always assumed that Rory didn't realize the full extent of her disapproval, or her true feelings about the association with Logan. As it was, she now realized her mistake in that assumption, and felt guilt streaming through her body. She felt a sudden annoyance at herself for not having realized her obviousness sooner, and cursed herself for not being straight with her daughter right from the start. She also understood that the dimension of her daughter's current anger was caused by the constant underlying tension that had been formed between the two women as a result of the unspoken facts. She felt like a fool.
Despite all that, Lorelai felt as she had to go on. She had come this far, and couldn't buckle just yet. The most important part of her argument was still not vocalized, and so she persisted.
"But, what about his family?" Lorelai started, in a pleading, raised voice "How could you even think of becoming one of them? Think about what they have done to you! After all the horrible things, how could you ever even consider becoming part of that?
"I am not marrying his family, mom! My God, we're not even going to live on the same coast as them!" Rory, too, was yelling, and her face was covered in an angry scowl.
"Yes, I am aware of that!" Lorelai answered in a shrieking tone, blazing with emotion "Don't you see how wrong it is? Logan has to run away cross the country to get away from daddy, and he is making you pay the price! Don't you understand how awful it is that he forces you to choose?"
"He is not making me choose, I chose myself!" Rory shouted, flustered and red in the face "Why is it so incomprehensible to think that I actually want to move?"
"Because it isn't you!" Lorelai yelled, frustrated to the brink of madness "It is not how I raised you, and it is not what you were suppose to do!"
Rory's face fell into a grimace of fury, as she retorted in an impassioned fashion; "How you raised me? Are you serious? How can you speak like that? What about what I want? I want to be with Logan, and I want to… I want to jump!"
"You're not thinking clearly, Rory!" Lorelai yelled in desperation "You wouldn't do this if you did! You have so much to do, and if you marry Logan, you'll get tangled in the - web - of him and his psychotic family!"
"Why couldn't I still do everything I want, and still be with him?" Rory angrily shouted back "Why would that be so impossible to understand?
"But that family is not like any other, Rory!" Lorelai loud voice pleaded once again "You know how they are. They won't let you! They will entangle you and trap you and - change you, in their –web!"
"What web, mom? What is that?" Rory asked with a scream "And if that happens, I'll break free! I'll wear - scissors!"
"You know that won't cut it!" Lorelai shouted.
"Are you making a joke?" Rory yelled.
"I don't know! We're screaming, but it sounded like a joke!" Lorelai cried.
"Yeah?" Rory bellowed.
"Yeah!" Lorelai replied with a shriek.
The two scowling women, both heaving and puffing, gazed at each other with the same tentative look on their faces. They were both pretty exhausted, and neither had the will or the strength to go on.
After a while the older of the two gave a sigh in resignation, and asked the words that filled the room;
"You really want to do this?"
The worlds lingered for a while, lonely and without companions in the air before Rory answered in a voice hoarse from shouting but definite in its resolution;
"Yes, I want to do this."
Lorelai took a breath that filled her lungs, and decided then and there to take a stance. She chose her course, and by choosing also affected the woman beside her.
"Despite everything?" she asked in a low, inquiring voice.
"Despite everything." Rory answered, and held her mother's gaze with determination made of steel.
"Then… I guess I have to support you." Lorelai said, and saw the eyes in front of her take the message in. She saw the daughter process, comprehend, and react to the mother's offer and declaration of peace, and felt the heart that had been bleeding be covered by warmth – as her body was enveloped by Rory's arms and tears.
After all the things were said and done, stillness covered the room. It was a moment of calm and stillness in a silence that said more than words. The entangled ones stayed both disheveled and intertwined for a long while, as they both felt as if by letting go they would have to face and accept the new reality. For now, they just wanted to feel as if nothing would ever change, and that nothing would take them apart. They wanted to pretend for a moment that their argument was never there, and that the words were never spoken. They wanted to imagine that they never had and never would grow apart, and that they never changed enough to make them into different beings with significant different paths.
As the moment ended, the world - with all its decisions, choices and conflicts - came slowly crushing in. Rory knew what she had to do, and she felt as she had the power to do it. She had her mother's support and part of her strength, and with that knowledge, Rory felt as if she could conquer the world.