A.N So this is a doozy of a chapter. My longest so far by almost a thousand words, but I felt it had to be. Everything in there had to be there in the one chapter. Cutting it was never an option. I've struggled to write it, to be honest. Not that the words were hard to come by but because I wanted to do it justice. I struggled and still don't know if I managed to convey the depth of emotion and the horror of it all. It struck so many chords within me and it made my heart ache, it made me furious. I found myself actually muttering and cursing the woman in this as I wrote. I did label this story as Angst and this chapter certainly has it. So much so that I had to stop and take a breather because the content was so heavy, hence the slight delay in posting it.

Now I usually write with music playing and I know I'm not alone in this. Music is a great comfort, a great inspiration. It has been both to me while writing this. One of my favourite songs is You+Me by You+Me (aka Pink and Dallas Green) and it's been played so many times over the last week that I think I even hear it in my dreams. It has become the song for this piece of fanfic and if you give it a listen, I think you'll see why or hopefully it will become clearer in future chapters. If nothing else, it might prove to be a comfort to you, after this chapter, that things will get better on this ride through the dark.

Now I've prattled on long enough here, so I'll shut up and let you get to the all important stuff. I did have a whole rant about evil not being born but I think I'll leave that out ;-) It was just me getting crap off my chest.

Lastly, thank you from the bottom of my heart for the reviews, favs and follows. It's what kept me going. Gotta give it to the SQ fandom, you guys rock!

Hugs for what you are about to read.

WaywardCharlie

Trigger warning: Child abuse.

Chapter 4

Emma opened her eyes, blinking in the sudden light. She was still on her knees but Regina wasn't in her lap. She had no idea how long she had blacked out for, it could have been seconds or hours. She glanced around, expecting to see the former Mayor's living room, instead she found herself in, what looked like, a bedroom. Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, she thought to herself.

The room was large, the ceilings high. There was a beautiful rug in the centre of the room, swirling patterns in bright gold and vibrant greens and blues. The walls were made out of grey stone bricks and there were torches at regular intervals along the walls. She could see a large four post bed with a rich blue cover on it out of the corner of her eye, to her left. Just past that, there was what looked like a glass door to a balcony though it was hard to tell because it was covered in some translucent curtain. Straight ahead was a dressing table and next to that was an open door through which she could see lots of fabric she assumed to be clothes. When she glanced to her right, she noticed a closed door. She hoped it was an exit. She had to find Regina so they could get the hell out of here. Just as she stood up, she became aware of a whimpering sound coming from behind her. She whirled around, peering into the dark corner where the torch light didn't reach.

A young girl with dark hair who couldn't have been more than ten years old was huddled there, arms wrapped around her knees, head resting on them and she was rocking back and forth. She was whispering something that Emma couldn't quite make out. Slowly the blonde moved towards the young girl, hands out in front of her, trying to show her she meant no danger. "Hey there, my name's Emma. What's yours?"

The girl ignored her, continuing to whisper to herself, "I'm sorry, mother. I'm sorry. I'll never go there again. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Never again. I'm bad. I'm bad. I'm sorry." Over and over she repeated it, every so often a sob would come out and the girl would tighten her arms even harder around herself.

Emma knelt down level with the girl, "Are you ok?" Then mentally rolled her eyes at herself. Of course the girl wasn't ok. "Do you need help?" She reached out to touch the girl on the arm and the door behind her slammed open making her snatch her hand back and move protectively in front of the girl. She looked up to see who the intruder was and gasped, "Cora… But you're dead."

The older woman didn't react to her outburst. Instead she stalked over to where the girl and Emma crouched. "How many times, Regina?"

Regina? Emma frowned, wanting to turn back to study the girl but afraid to take her eyes off the woman standing in front of her.

"How many times are you going to disobey me? How many times are you going to force me to punish you?" Cora glanced down on her daughter with a look of disgust. "Get up! A queen never cowers like a sniveling brat in a corner. She stands tall and accepts what must happen."

"Please, mother. I'm sorry. I'll listen better, I'll obey." The young girl begged. "I just wanted to learn. Please don't hurt me."

"You've left me no choice. This is all your fault." Cora pointed at the cowering girl, "Creeping around in the kitchen like you're little better than a scullery maid. You will be a queen! Stand up and take your punishment like one." She paused as if waiting for something, "Do not force me to make you stand up."

Emma heard a rustling behind her as the young Regina stood up. She quickly stood too and, looking at the girl, spoke quietly. "You don't have to do this. I won't let her hurt you. Just stay behind me."

"Stand in the middle of the room." Cora commanded.

"No, don't. Stay here. I will keep you safe." Young Regina's face was frozen in fear, tears trailing down her cheeks, her normally chocolate eyes were red rimmed and bloodshot. God, she looks so afraid, so beaten down… And yet, so innocent. She's Regina and yet not Regina. "Look, I know you don't know me yet, but you will. You have to believe me when I say you can trust me. I will not let that woman hurt you."

Regina acted like she hadn't even heard Emma speak and started to walk towards the middle of the room. Emma reached out a hand to stop her and gasped as her hand passed right through. "What the hell?" She looked down at her hand, wondering what had just happened. "Am I a ghost?"

Regina stood in the centre of the room, Cora in front of her about five paces away. "You know why I must do this?"

"So that I will learn." Tremors rocked the small body.

Cora smiled coldly, "Correct, and what will you learn?"

"How to act like a queen, the queen you will make me one day." Regina recited, like it was something that had been drilled into her time and time again.

"And?"

Regina's chin was almost touching her chest as she spoke, "That Mother knows best and must be obeyed. Everything you do is for my own good."

"Good girl. Now you know this hurts me much more than it hurts you. I take no enjoyment in punishing you." Emma saw the slight smirk that lit the older woman's mouth before she managed to smother it, a smirk that belied her words.

Emma walked over so that she stood just off to the side between mother and daughter, "Bullshit! You self-righteous bitch. You're not fooling me. I bet you get off on this, on the control. She was only in the kitchen, why the hell are you punishing her?" She had no idea what was coming but the young girls' body language spoke volumes and she knew it wasn't going to be good.

Cora held out her hands, which began to crackle with dark purple, almost black energy. "Now you will hold yourself up straight, head high like a queen."

Emma watched as a sight so familiar happened before her and it left her feeling cold. She watched the child that Regina was straighten her back, school her features and raise her head, looking as regal as the queen she would one day become. It was something she had seen the Evil Queen do time and time again but watching this child do it broke her heart and made her want to hold her tight and comfort her. She's just a kid. She should be laughing and having fun and getting into mischief. She should be smiling. She should be loved.

Cora nodded, "How does a queen hold herself?"

"With dignity, never cowering, never crying. She is always in control of herself, her emotions." Recited an empty voice that made Emma's heart ache.

The magic Cora had been harnessing lashed out, striking the child and wrapping around her. Regina screamed and Emma screamed with her, dashing in between the two, trying to get in the way of the stream of magic but it passed right through her. "Stop! Stop! She's just a kid. Oh God, please stop." She cried, tears burning her eyes at the agonized sounds coming from Regina. It was worse than she could have ever imagined. How could someone do this to an innocent child? She clenched her fists, barely registering the nails digging into her palms, cutting into her skin.

The magic stopped and Regina slumped, swaying on her feet. Cora spoke, "You will not scream. Queens do not scream, they show no pain, no weakness. You know I cannot stop until you learn… And you will learn."

"How the fuck can she not scream, you crazy bitch. She's not a queen, she's just a little girl. A full grown man would scream if you did that to him." Emma felt helpless. She so desperately wanted to stop the mad woman from hurting the innocent child Regina had once been. All this for just going to the kitchen? She could not even begin to understand it.

"Again." The magic shot out and Emma could see the young girl trying not to cry out. Please let me take this pain from you, Emma silently begged, unable to speak past the lump in her throat. Regina finally failed to stay composed and silent, an agonizing sound falling from her lips and tearing straight through Emma's heart, bringing her to her knees.

Tears broke free and streamed down her face, her chest aching with grief riddled anger. "You cruel and heartless fucker. If you weren't already dead, I'd kill you… I swear to God, I'd kill you. Stop it. Stop it! Can't you see that you're killing her?" Emma yelled, her voice shaking with emotion. She quickly got to her feet and charged at Cora, determined to stop her. She had forgotten, in her anguish, that she could not affect the outcome. She tried to tackle the other woman but passed right through her and tumbled to the ground behind her. She slammed her fist down on the ground in her frustration. "I don't want to watch this anymore. How? How can you do this to your daughter?"

She reached up and angrily swiped at her tears stained cheeks as it suddenly dawned on her that what she was seeing was too real, too clear to be anything other than a memory. Regina's memory. It was why the brunette wasn't here. She was, just as a child, stuck playing her part. It was why she couldn't interfere with what was happening. It had already happened a long time ago.

"I…" She shuddered with too much knowledge that she never wanted. "I have to watch, have to see. Someone has to witness this. Someone has to see what you did, Cora. How she suffered at your hands. Someone else will know the truth. Regina shouldn't be alone in this." Even if she doesn't know I'm here. She put her hands out and hoisted herself to her feet and turned back around to face the others, noticing that the magic had stopped again.

Cora shook her head, a false look of pity on her face. "How many times must we do this, Regina? Act like the queen you will be, the queen I will make you. It is your fault we have to keep doing this. If you only learned your lessons, listened and obeyed me we wouldn't have to go through this time and time again."

Emma felt sick. How many times had Regina suffered this torture? "I knew you were an evil bitch, Cora but this… How could anyone do this to a child?" She just couldn't comprehend someone doing this to their own child. If anyone ever lay a hand on Henry, she would kill them so how could a mother do this to her own daughter? She hadn't had it easy growing up in the system, she'd had her share of abusive foster parents and carers but they weren't her flesh and blood, weren't her family. They weren't supposed to love her without question. She would lay down her life for her family, her son. Even in her worst nightmares she couldn't imagine ever raising her hand to her little boy.

Is this where it started? Regina's path to becoming the Evil Queen? Cruelty breeds cruelty… And yet, she is a wonderful mother to Henry. She adores him and I can't imagine her every hurting him intentionally. She was ready to give up her life dealing with the trigger just so he wouldn't be alone. After seeing just a moment of what Regina suffered during her childhood, Emma's respect for the woman, respect for the mother she was, grew tenfold. More so, her understanding of the woman grew. Seeing Cora's cruelty answered questions she hadn't even realised she had about the other mother of her son.

"Again." And for the third time, magic shot through the child, worse than the last two times. Emma forced herself to watch as pain, so intense it forced her back to arch, whipped through young Regina and she felt her emotions reach saturation point. She'd be damned if she was going to just stand there and watch a part of her family, someone she cared for, suffer so much. Her heart felt like it was going to explode with all the emotions coursing through it. She didn't care if she could do nothing to affect the two people in the room, she would die trying. She wouldn't quit. "Enough! No one hurts my family." She raged and charged at Cora, righteous anger burning through her. As before, she passed right through but she had such momentum going that she crashed into Regina. She let out a startled "Huh?" as they tumbled to the floor and, young and yet so familiar, pain filled chocolate eyes met shining emerald.

"Emma." Regina softly whispered her name like a caress and it soothed the blonde's raging heart.

"You're safe now. I've got you." She whispered back and then the world went black.

Emma opened her eyes again, feeling a solid weight in her arms. She glanced around, breathing a sigh of relief to see they were back in Regina's living room. She looked down at the pale brunette whose eyes were still closed. Her heart bled at what she had just been witness to and she felt her eyes burning with unshed tears. "What the fuck just happened?" She whispered. She felt mentally drained, still unable to comprehend the level of evilness required to commit such heinous acts on a child.

Everything was a jumble inside her but the one clear thing she knew she was feeling was protective, protective of the still unconscious woman in her arms. Right then, if someone had attacked them, she had no doubt in her mind that she would fight to the death rather than let anything else happen to Regina. Far too much already had. Most of it, she suspected, unknown to anyone other than the brunette herself. She cared, more than she felt she should, felt emotions deeper than she was ready to examine right now, about the beautiful woman she cradled. Her heart ached with unexplored thoughts and feelings

Emma reached over to brush away a stray strand of dark hair out of the other woman's face when she felt movement and then slowly brown eyes opened and met her gaze. It felt like Regina saw straight into her heart and she felt it flutter. A small smile formed on those pale lips and whispered "Emma." The blonde felt herself smile in response. "Regina."

Regina blinked and the moment was gone, the smile dropping from her face. The memory of what had just happened crashed through her and she started to struggle to extract herself from the blonde's arms. She pushed herself away from Emma. Inside she was panicking, she felt laid open under the emerald stare and it made her feel vulnerable. She hated the feeling. Her emotions were in an uproar, so she fell back on what she knew best. "What the hell do you think you are doing, Ms. Swan?" She struggled to her feet and wrapped her arms around herself protectively, backing away from the blonde and giving herself some breathing room.

Emma slowly got to her feet, trying to follow the abrupt mood swing, "So I'm Ms. Swan again? Seriously?"

"I asked you a question."

"Do I really have to explain? You passed out, I caught you before you hit the ground and then… What the fuck was that, Regina? What happened? How did I…"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Regina swiftly cut her off. She knew, she remembered every single moment of that memory and the changes that Emma had somehow brought about but she had no idea how it had happened. It was a memory, it couldn't be changed, couldn't be affected, only suffered through and yet Emma had done just that. She didn't understand it, hadn't had any time to process what it could possibly mean so the last thing she wanted to do was to try to explain it to the woman in front of her.

Emma felt the lie burn through her and called the queen on it, anger and concern sharing equal status. "Bullshit, Regina. Did that really happen? Was that… Did your mother do that to you?" A part of her prayed that she was wrong, that it hadn't happened but she wasn't hopeful. It had felt all too real.

Regina stared at the blonde for a moment, her face shuttered and unreadable, and then turned around and walked away, heading towards the stairs.

Emma winced, realising her abrupt questioning may have pushed a little too hard but that was her way, always pushing, always asking the tough questions. Could have used a little more tact, Swan. She sighed, and continued to push, hoping to get something, anything out of the former Mayor. Some reaction or feeling rather than this shuttered, silent, emotionless version of the woman. "Regina, we have to talk about this." The brunette kept walking and the blonde started to follow her.

Regina could feel Emma's gaze burning into her back but she didn't stop. "Not now." She managed to say, forcing the words past numb lips.

"Then when?"

Regina ignored the question and started up the stairs. "I asked you to leave, Ms. Swan. I expect you to do so now."

Emma stopped at the bottom of the stairs and watched Regina climb them. When she had reached the top, the blonde spoke, "I'm not going anywhere. We're having this discussion. We need to figure out what's going on. I just got sucked into your memory, for Christ's sake. I'm already involved whether you want me to be or not and you need to trust somebody with what's going on. Let me help you."

Regina had paused at the top of the stairs, listening to the Saviors words but didn't turn around. She couldn't hold in her emotions any longer, Emma's words breaking her, and tears were flooding down her face. Her and her idiot desire to help people, even people who don't deserve it. This is my fault and I have to fix it. Too many people have been hurt because of me... By me. I will not risk anyone else. Even… Especially… That stubborn idiot. She had no voice to reply and so she didn't. She started to move towards her bedroom. She heard Emma start to follow her up and waved her hand. Lights flickered, growing bright briefly before settling down back to normal

Emma, after glancing up at the lights with a frown, got three stairs up the staircase before she ran into the barrier Regina had just created. "Fucking hell, Regina! You can't make me go away!" She yelled after the brunette and slapped her hand down hard on the barrier, watching it spark purple where she had hit it. "I care about what happens to you. I care about you, damn it!" She watched helplessly as Regina disappeared into her bedroom. "Fuck!"

A.N Thank you for wandering that dark path with me. Now please join me in a well earned drink! x