Pride and Prestige
Chapter 4: The Sorting
Hagrid raised his fist and knocked.
The great door swung open immediately and the first years were met by a stern looking woman dressed in shimmering emerald robes, hair pulled into a tight bun. Artemis remembered her as Professor McGonagall, the witch who had visited his manor.
"The firs' years, Professor McGonagall," said Hagrid.
"Thank you Hagrid, I will take them from here." Professor McGonagall's voice was as tight as her bun, a no-nonsense sort of tone.
She pulled the door open wide and led them inside. The hall was big enough to fit the whole first two floors of the Fowl Manor, Artemis noted. It was lit by flaming candles that flung dancing shadows on the walls, the ceiling arching high above them.
There was a grand marble staircase that faced them, presumably leading to the upper floors, but this was not the path they took. Instead, Professor McGonagall led the first years down the hall into an empty chamber. Not knowing what to expect, they crowded in nervously. Artemis stood off in the back, unable to take the overwhelming mass of bodies.
"Welcome to Hogwarts," said Professor McGonagall. "The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your Houses. The Sorting is a very important –"
"Trevor!" A boy leapt forward and grabbed a frog, which had been sitting and croaking at McGonagall's feet. A ripple of laughter spread through the students, releasing the tension.
McGonagall continued through thin lips as the boy straightened up apologetically.
"As I was saying, the Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your House will be something like your family within Hogwarts. You will have classes with the rest of your House, sleep in your House dormitory, and spend free time in your House common room."
She carried on in this fashion, continuing to list the Houses and explaining the point system. Artemis, however, was still busy raging on about how he had received a letter the day before school that accommodations could not be made for Butler to stay – in his mind, of course. I will just have to work around it, he sighed, thinking of all the advantages he'd had in previous schemes with his trusty bodyguard by his side.
"…The Sorting Ceremony will take place in a few minutes In front of the rest of the school. I suggest you smarten yourselves up as much as you can while you are waiting."
Her eyes lingered on the toad boy's lopsided cloak, and then on Artemis. She let out a small sigh and left the chamber with a parting message of, "I will return when we are ready for you. Please wait quietly."
Despite the witch's words, the first years broke out into murmurs as soon as she was out of earshot. Artemis found himself standing next to Blaise Zabini and Kara Dallas once more. For some reason, he didn't terribly mind these two.
"So how exactly do they sort us into Houses?" Kara asked anxiously.
"There's something about a hat," Zabini said. "A talking hat."
Artemis raised an eyebrow. "What an eloquent way to put it," he said, causing Kara to jump.
"Where did you come from?" she demanded. "Scared the wits out of me."
Ignoring her, Artemis said, "But yes, that it pretty much what it is. An enchanted hat, so creatively named the Sorting Hat, supposedly reads your mind and character and sorts you into the House it deems you worthy of." He nodded toward the front of the crowd, where a small commotion had broken out. "Let's see what's going on up there."
It turned out that the Hogwarts ghosts had decided to pay a visit to the new generation of wizards, scaring most of them in the process. A few screams echoed from the less attentive students who had never seen these pearly white beings before.
"Ah, new students!" said one that resembled a fat little monk. He smiled at them all.
No one answered him.
"About to be Sorted," said Artemis, not knowing why he'd answered.
"Ah, yes. I hope to see you in Hufflepuff – my old House, you know."
"You know the best House is Gryffindor," said another ghost dressed in tights.
This started a squabble among the ghosts about which House was best. Artemis sighed and shook his head as Blaise sniggered.
"Move along now," said a sharp voice. "The Sorting Ceremony's about to start."
McGonagall had returned and shooed away the ghosts, who floated away, still arguing.
Satisfied, the Professor faced the students and said, "Now form a line, and follow me."
Artemis once again waited for everyone to line up, then slipped into the back of the line. He felt a strange tingle of – was it nervousness? – no, it was only anticipation, he told himself, perfectly natural. They walked down the hall and through a set of double doors Artemis had noticed earlier.
His first impression was that of a Renaissance fair; the Great Hall was lit by thousands and thousands of candles that magically floated above the heads of the students – who had all turned to watch the progression of first years. The students were seated at four long tables that stretched across the length of the Hall, upon which were laid glittering golden plates and goblets. At the far end was another table at which the staff was seated, and this was where Professor McGonagall led the awestruck first years. Artemis heard a familiar bossy voice whisper, "It's bewitched to look like the sky outside. I read it in Hogwarts, a History." He looked up and saw that she was referencing the star-dotted ceiling, which twinkled back at him.
A hush fell over the already-silent school as Professor McGonagall set a stool in front of the first years and placed a dirty and frayed hat on the stool. The Sorting Hat, Artemis thought skeptically, almost ready to turn around and leave right then.
The hat twitched, and a hole opened up where its mouth should be. It turned out that the hole was his mouth as the hat started to sing:
"Oh, you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A smarter hat then me.
You can keep your bowlers black,
Your top hats sleek and tall,
For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat
And I can cap them all.
There's nothing hidden in your head
The Sorting Hat can't see,
So try me on and I will tell you
Where you ought to be.
You might belong in Gryffindor,
Where dwell the brave at heart,
Their daring, nerve and chivalry,
Set Gryffindors apart;
You might belong in Hufflepuff
Where they are just and loyal,
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true,
And unafraid of toil;
Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,
If you've a ready mind,
Where those of wit and learning,
Will always find their kind;
Or perhaps in Slytherin,
Where you'll meet your real friends,
Those cunning folk use any means,
To achieve their ends.
So put me on! Don't be afraid!
And don't get in a flap!
You're in safe hands (though I have none)
For a Thinking Cap."
The whole hall burst into applause and laughs as the hat concluded its song, bowed to each of the four tables, and became inanimate once more.
"Now, when I call your name, you will put on the hat to be sorted," said Professor McGonagall, ever succinct. She straightened out a piece of paper and called out the first name – "Abbott, Hannah!"
A pink-faced girl with pigtails scurried up to the stool and jammed the hat on her head. After a moment's consideration, the hat roared, "Hufflepuff!" and the girl was off to the Hufflepuff table, which had broken into applause.
"Bones, Susan!"
Susan joined Abbott at the Hufflepuff table, sitting down to loud cheers.
"Boot, Terry!"
"RAVENCLAW!"
"Brocklehurst, Mandy" also went to Ravenclaw. "Brown, Lavender" became the first Gryffindor, and "Bulstrode, Millicent," a rather square girl, went to Slytherin.
Artemis kept careful record of all these new students with half a mind, the other half wandering off to passages he had read the day before on Advanced Spells for the Resolute Wizard.
"Dallas, Kara!"
Artemis looked up with interest as the brunette walked up and put on the hat. She had been sitting for over a minute when – "GRYFFINDOR!"
Kara removed the hat, revealing her shocked and slightly disappointed face. Her gaze raked the crowd for Blaise and she made a face as she sat down at the Gryffindor table.
Artemis hm'd.
The gap was closing between now and his Sorting. Artemis could feel his nerves jumping around in his stomach, although he would never admit it.
And then – "Fowl, Artemis!"
Artemis smirked as he walked up to the stool slowly, trying not to let his nerves show. Yes, he was nervous, he admitted, as he placed the hat gingerly over his combed hair.
"Ah, Fowl," said a small voice in his ear. "Yes, Artemis Fowl, a very clever one."
Why, thank you, Artemis thought smugly.
"You're welcome. Ah, an easy one you are, at first glance. You have the cunning and slyness to be in Slytherin, and yet – what is this? – I find that there is a yearning for knowledge and a passion for action inside you. And there is a suppressed tenderness for your family –"
Artemis gripped the seat tightly. Just get on with it, he hissed. No need for his weaknesses to be dissected and laid out.
"Oh, all right then – SLYTHERIN!"
He gratefully removed the hat and joined the Slytherin table, grinning at Malfoy's sour face. He sat down near the head of the table, between a boy introduced as Adrian Pucey, a third year, and Lucian Bole, a fourth year.
He watched the rest of the Sorting from a better perspective, watching the teachers as well as the students. Dumbledore was seated in the middle of the teachers' table and would clap merrily every time a student's House was announced.
The bossy girl, "Granger, Hermione," was put into Gryffindor, as well as Neville Longbottom, the toad boy. As expected, Malfoy was announced as Slytherin within a nanosecond. He sauntered smugly over to the table, and sat a discreet yet close enough distance from Artemis. He motioned for his friends Crabbe and Goyle to come join him.
And then, of course, was the one boy everyone was waiting for.
"Potter, Harry!"
A hush fell over the Hall as a scrawny black-haired boy nervously walked up to the stool and sat down and put on the Hat. People were evaluating his every move, trying to catch a glimpse of the Boy Who Lived.
He was sitting on there for long enough, Artemis thought. He doesn't look so great either. The glasses might have to do with it.
After a long minute during which the whole school seemed to be holding its breath –
"GRYFFINDOR!"
The Gryffindor table erupted in explosive applause. Potter grinned and scrambled over to the table on the far right, sitting down amidst many back-slaps and congratulations. Artemis could hear a cheer of "We got Potter, We got Potter!"
While the other tables clapped politely, the Slytherins looked at each other in gloomy silence.
After Potter, the Sorting was over soon enough. Artemis finished tucking all this new information into the corner of his brain as Professor McGonagall rolled up her scroll and swept the hat and the stool away, to be stored in some distant corner until the next year.
Dumbledore stood up once again and stood beaming, arms wide, as if the students were the most pleasing thing he had ever seen. "Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts!" the headmaster said. "Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
"Thank you!"
He sat down amid hearty claps and cheers. Artemis raised an eyebrow.
Pucey grinned at Artemis. "A bit strange, isn't he?"
"Mad, if you ask me. Father reckons we should get rid of him," interrupted an arrogant voice from Artemis's left.
"Thank you for sharing your father's opinions on our headmaster," Artemis said. "Now, I assume the food will be arriving any minute…"
And arrive it did. The golden plates, which had just been sitting glittering emptily before them, were suddenly filled with virtually every food imaginable. Roast meat, pork chops, lamb chops, sausages, bacon and steak, potatoes, boiled and roast, pudding, gravy, ketchup, and for some strange reason, peppermint humbugs.
Artemis sniffed at the grand array of food. "I don't suppose any of this is natural?" he said disapprovingly. "I like to keep myself chemical-free, thank you very much."
A slightly disgruntled Pucey began to say, "All of this is grown magi –"
"We have our own garden that the house-elves tend to," Malfoy butted in, shooting a glance at Artemis.
"Ah." Artemis's expression didn't even flicker. He drew out his wand and, with a wave, arranged his own dinner of a medley of shark and swordfish on a bed of vegetables and potatoes. He smiled in satisfaction. "Now this would be considered a good meal."
A ghost swooped down next to them, to many a startled student. On closer inspection, Artemis noticed he was covered in silvery blood. "Why, that does look rather good," the ghost said.
Artemis nodded. "You can't eat, of course. Killed by your own hand."
When everyone, including the Baron, looked at him, he smiled and said, "Knowing is half the game."
"Artemis!"
Irritated, Artemis turned in search of the voice. Kara was standing behind him, a nervous look on her face. "Oh God… Have you seen Blaise? I wanted to talk to him."
"Could you not find him yourself? If you insist, he is on the far end of the table, on the right, seventeen people down."
Kara, who had perhaps already gotten accustomed to Artemis, thanked him and skipped off.
"Got yourself a girlfriend, Fowl?"
Artemis groaned inwardly. What was with this boy? "I assure you that I would not date a girl who would rather talk to another boy than me. In fact, I would not date a girl at all. On the contrary, I have noticed your interaction with a certain girl by the name of Parkinson. So, in your words, 'got yourself a girlfriend?"
Pucey snickered as Malfoy turned slightly red. "God, you –" He was silenced by one of Artemis's looks. "Father knows all –"
"Once again, your father can do all he wants, and as long as it doesn't concern my welfare, then I could care less."
Artemis felt the impact of his words. If someone had mentioned his own father in that way, they would probably find themselves in the middle of the Sahara. As it was, Malfoy didn't know any teleportation spells. But that didn't stop him from standing up (startling Crabbe, Goyle, and quite a few other people) and growling, "Filthy Fowl. I bet your father never even considered your welfare, did he? Probably sent you out here so he could get rid of you."
Artemis hadn't seen this one coming. After taking a few deep breaths, he said, "You would be surprised to hear what my father has done. He is a Fowl, after all. At least his works were completely legal." He willed his heart to stop thudding so – so sentimentally.
Malfoy seemed to sense what he was implying. "Cornelius Fudge trusts him, you know. Malfoy is a worshipped name. And Fowl?" He snorted. "Who would want to be named after a chicken?"
Artemis noticed they had gathered quite a lot of attention from their House and the neighboring Ravenclaw. With his best impersonation of a vampire, he said, "The same man who wants to be named after a Greek deity. It is not many, you see, who get the honor of earning the name Artemis. A female goddess she may be, but occasionally a male might come along with the ability to hunt. And that is me."
The spectators, who got the feeling that Artemis wasn't referring to hunting with deer, turned away in fear. Most had heard of vampires, and this boy was awfully pale…
Artemis gave Malfoy one last look before standing up and sweeping out of the Hall. "I've got business to take care of," he called, and disappeared.
~oOo~
Artemis sat down on his bed with a huff. Malfoy was so infuriating, he fumed. What was it about this boy that could make Artemis feel so vulnerable? He mustn't react to Malfoy's provocations.
Only after his childish pique had settled down did he notice something poking him from his robe pocket. Making sure no one else was around, he drew out the little golden cube he had found in his vault. He must've been wearing these same robes. He peered at the little box again. Aurum Est Potestas, it read. He turned it, inspecting every last millimeter. There was a very fine line running along the surface of the cube; this seemed to be where it opened. His suspicions were confirmed, then: there was something hidden inside.
He drew out his wand and muttered, "Alohamora." Nothing. Ah well, it was worth a try.
A determined look on his face, he drew up a chair to his bedside table. This would not work permanently as a work area, but it would have to do for now. He was about to set down the cube when he noticed a tiny inscription running parallel to the box's opening. As it was too small to read, he enlarged the words with a "Claudere Respice."
His vision zoomed into the miniscule letters, Artemis could now see that the letters read, Aurum est potestas, at unum fratrem modo potest vivere, esse poten. Or, as the typical English person would say, Gold is power, but only one brother can live to be powerful.
A sudden smile appeared on Artemis's face. Perfect. "Ah, Butler, if only you could be here," he lamented, but resolved to further develop his communications so they would work in a magical setting. For now, though, he was on his own, and he had to focus on the matter at hand.
Time to do a little research.
Undoing the zoom-sight spell, he opened his trunk to retrieve his laptop, which could now perform most of its normal functions after a little bit of meddling on Artemis's part. But his intentions were sidetracked when he heard a sudden, high pitched voice.
"See you tonight… in your dreams!"
Artemis whipped around. "Who's there?"
No one. The dorm was still empty.
Frowning, he bent down again to pick up his laptop when he heard the same voice laugh eerily. It sounded like a lunatic – or maybe he was the crazy one, Artemis noted. Hearing voices was generally a sign of madness, even in the wizarding world. This made it all the more important to talk to Butl –
Pain ripped through his head. "This is just between you and me," said the voice, daring him to challenge.
"Would you like to explain who you are, and what you happen to be doing in my head?" Artemis ventured, feeling rather disturbed.
The voice scoffed. "Hah! Tonight, boy, and don't you forget…."
The voice trailed off into the distance, as if being carried away by the wind. After a long pause to make sure it was really gone, Artemis straightened up, previous mission forgotten. He realized he was sweating and wiped it away quickly.
He had to do some investigation – and fast.
~oOo~
Kara couldn't believe it. What was the Hat doing, putting her in some House she had no friends in? She'd immediately come to find, well, her only friend at this school – Blaise. He too, had expressed his surprise at the Sorting Hat's choice – but then again, it was a talking hat; it must obviously know something that they didn't.
"'Loyal and willing to sacrifice for a loved one, and yet sensitive in your heart,'" Kara snorted, recalling the Sorting Hat's words.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Blaise said, scoffing. "You're about as… Slytherin as you can get here!"
"Whatever. I can't change it now. The girls are horrible over there, Blaise, horrible!" She smashed Blaise's green peas with his spoon.
Taking his spoon back, Blaise said, "Thank you very much. The guys here aren't much better – let's see, Malfoy, spoiled, arrogant git, Crabbe and Goyle, about as intelligent as these peas here, Fowl, a bit on the cold side, and me." He glanced around. "Speaking of Fowl, wonder where he went."
"He ran off, Zabini, because he was afraid to talk," called Marcus Flint from five seats down.
Blaise rolled his eyes. "This guy hears everything."
"Hey, that your girlfriend, Zabini? Wait, that's the girl who was talking to Fowl! Who's she, anyway? No way – Zabini, are you associating with Gryffindor scum?" Flint said.
A chorus of jeers came from around him.
"Watch it, Flint. She's about as Slytherin as Bulstrode over there."
Flint sniggered. "Defensive, are you? Maybe you should join Gryffindor too."
Kara gave him an uneasy glance. "Maybe I should leave," she murmured.
Blaise frowned. "They're not usually like this," he said.
By now, Malfoy had joined the argument. "Ooh, isn't this nice? Fowl's girlfriend, talking to Blaise of all people! Wait till your parents find out!"
Kara stood up. "All right, I'm leaving." As she stood up, Blaise whispered, "Sorry. Let's meet tomorrow – details later."
As she left, Blaise couldn't help but notice the poisonous look that Natalie Hewgourd, another first year, was shooting at her.
He finished his meal in silence. At the end, Dumbledore stood up and the hall fell silent.
"Ahem – I have a few start-of-term notices to give you, now that you are all fed."
He went on to explain that the forest on grounds was off-limits to all students, and so was the third-floor corridor on the right hand side. No magic was to be used between classes in the corridors. Quidditch trials would also be held in two weeks.
"And now," he cried, "Before we go to bed, let us sing the school song!" Blaise noticed that the other teachers' smiles had become rather fixed.
At a flick of his wand, gold ribbon appeared and arranged itself into words.
"Everyone pick their favorite tune, and off we go!"
At many different tempos and melodies, the school bellowed:
"Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts,
Teach us something please,
Whether we be old and bald,
Or young with scabby knees
Our heads could do with filling,
With some interesting stuff,
For now they're bare and full of air,
Dead flies and bits of fluff,
So teach us things worth knowing,
Bring back what we've forgot,
Just do your best, we'll do the rest,
And learn until our brains all rot."
As everyone else finished singing, a pair of redheaded Gryffindor twins concluded the song with a slow funeral match. When they had finished, Dumbledore clapped enthusiastically.
"Ah, music... A magic beyond all we do here. And now, bedtime! Off you trot!"
A prefect led the Slytherins out of the Hall and down toward the dungeons, where the Slytherin common room and dorms were located. Blaise had been informed of the almost living nature of the castle, but he still got quite a shock when he encountered his first set of moving stairs and hidden doors. They winded through staircases and behind hanging tapestries, and everyone was getting tired as they finally felt the chill of the tile hall that marked the entrance to the common room.
They stopped at a section of wall that stood out slightly. "Majestic Mannulus," said the prefect, and they were admitted into the common room.
It was a fancy sort of place, a fireplace set in the far wall and armchairs and a great table furnishing the room. The girls were directed to their dormitories, while the boys were sent to the staircase on the left to theirs.
Blaise dragged his feet up the stairs and entered the room, claiming the first bed he saw. The beds were soft and comfortable, four-posters hung with shimmering emerald curtains. The tired boys meekly changed into their pajamas and fell asleep. Only Malfoy noticed that in the far corner, Artemis's bed lay empty, his trunk closed and set neatly off to the side. But all was forgotten as a wave of sleep washed over him.
A/N: What could he be up to now? Dun dun dun...
Well, that's finally another chapter up! Whew! That was actually quicker than I thought, considering I only had time to write a couple paragraphs a day. Sorry if the ending was a little sudden but I had to finish it soon. And I just noticed how short my chapters are... I'll try to lengthen themO.o
I have a few things to make clear... First off, I do steal dialogue and descriptions from the book quite often, but seeing as this is an introduction, everythings needs to be introduced as accurately as possible. Don't worry, Artemis will have the story going on a whole different track soon.
If you noticed, I stole Artemis's meal from the Eternity Code, only because I didn't know what Artemis eats. ^^"
And the little incription on the box was created with Google Translate, so sorry to all you Latin speakers out there...
Anyway, hope you like it. Please review, or I might get discouraged and discontinue. And no one wants that, right?(:
If anyone knows what the timetable for the first year Slytherins is, could you kindly PM it to me? If not, I'll just draw one up myself.
Thanks! Review!:3
NOTICE: I WILL edit my preavious chapters as I update more. I don't know if updates come as notifications too, but just somthing to keep in mind. I'll say if I edit anything.