Chapter 4 – Reality is a Bitch

*** 4 years ago***

It had been close to two years since the day that Cailan had told Sora about his betrothal to Anora. In that time before Cailan's coronation, they saw each other frequently given the distance between their two locations, but each time they saw each other, their love grew, as did their pain of what as to come. Their lovemaking had become more passionate than ever and at times it was as if their lives depended on it, but they kept it up for nine months, until right before the wedding. They had even made love the night before his coronation and wedding. It was a last type of gift that they could give each other. Life was cruel and they both that it was time for their fantasy to come to an end.

Sora had heard that Cailan's coronation had bee a beautiful one and the wedding as well, and she kept up her appearances expressing her deepest 'regret' over missing her best friend's coronation and wedding, but her brother knew the real story as did Ser Gilmore, so they backed her up that day in Denerim, and told the Teryn and Teryna that their daughter was just to sick to attend and that she would cause a disturbance. While her parents and brother were gone at the coronation, Sora had cried into Ser Gilmore's chest, she cried for Cailan, she cried for the future that could have been hers, she cried for the amount of jealousy that consumed her body at how everyone was happy for Anora, and most of all she cried for love, because love did not conquer all. Ser Gilmore had done his best to try and cover her ears to the sound of the crowds outside, to the cannon's firing in celebration and especially to the bells that started to ring to signal the coronation and wedding had been completed. Thor helped as well as he started to bark and howl at the same time to drown out the noise of the bells.

Despite everything Sora felt she knew that she couldn't just let Cailan go, so a month into his new marriage, Sora, Fergus and her father were visiting the new King and Queen, and it was to Sora's delight that the Queen was currently on a tour of the country. Sora stayed obediently by her father's side as Fergus spoke with the knights of the castle and her father at Cailan's side talking about the status of the country and their situation with Orlais.

It was until nighttime that things had become more interesting. Sora yawned, as she knew it had been time for bed, she was just thankful to the Maker that Anora hadn't been at the castle when they arrived. Sora removed her clothes until she was just in her bra and underwear as she climbed into bed. She decided to read by candlelight until she found herself tired enough to go to sleep. Sora smiled as Thor was already asleep on the carpet next to her bed. "Fine, don't join me up here then." She chuckled as she started to read her book, but when she heard a noise coming from her door, she raised an eyebrow, but told Thor to calm down as he stood up and started growling, but she was a more than surprised when Thor stopped growling and started wagging his tail as he ran towards the door. Sora looked up, and immediately covered herself up as she saw the person who had come in. 'Cailan…'she thought to herself as she looked upon his form.

Cailan smiled at Thor as he reached down and petted him. "Good boy, and I missed you too." Cailan said as he closed the door behind him. "Sora…" He said simply as he walked towards her bed. "Covering up for me, I do believe that I have seen everything that you have to offer." Cailan chuckled as he made his way over to her bedside and sat down on the edge of the bed next to her.

"Yes, but that was when you weren't a married man, and now you are. What are you doing here?" Sora asked as she placed her book on her nightstand. "Isn't it obvious, Sora? To see you of course…" Cailan purred as he reached under the covers and started to stroked her thigh then moved to her inner thigh. "Did you really expect me not to come and visit you?"

"Yes and n-no…" Sora knew this wasn't a good idea, but she found herself getting moist just at the simple touch of Cailan's hands. She pictured his lips against her neck, his hands in places that drove her crazy, and his well-endowed member moving inside her until she just couldn't take it anymore. "Cailan…you need to leave."

"You don't really want me to leave do you? You didn't miss me?" Cailan grinned as he gracefully, but quickly moved onto the bed and threw her sheet off to the side as he positioned himself above her. "Your King and lover requires some attention. I need to feel you." Cailan whispered against her neck as his hands ran over her stomach then gently over the little bit of fabric that covered her clit, he could feel the warmth already, he knew that she wanted him and he certainly wanted her.

'That bastard…' Sora thought as she tried to hold back every moan that threatened to slip past her lips. He knew exactly what her weak points were. "Cailan, what about Anora?"

"What about her? She's cold as ice in bed; We've only had sex maybe three times since the coronation. I hate touching her, she has no life to her in bed, she just lays there, and I try to picture you when I am with her, but can't seem to, because she's practically dead in the bedroom. It would be an insult to picture you while I fuck her, she could never do you justice."

"So we do really want to do this, make love while your wife is blissfully unaware." "Yes…" Cailan moved his head above hers so he could look her in the eye as he waited for her answer. "Maker forgive us for what we are about to do." Sora said as she kissed and pulled him completely on top of her.

Sora and Cailan had maintained their relationship a year into his marriage, but it just came to a point where she couldn't take it anymore and Sora decided to end her relationship to Cailan. Sora and Cailan during the time after their initial break up would write to each other on occasion, but after a year since their initial break up, they never spoke to each other again, and in fact when his father would visit King Cailan, she would not come with him. Her parents didn't understand what had happened and tried to force the issue, but she refused to budge and instead focused on her training more with each day that passed.

*** Present Day***

It had been eights year practically to the date since she had lost her virginity to Cailan and she couldn't help, but have her mind drift to Cailan during those times, but she hadn't seen Cailan in four years and she was confident it would be a long time before she ever saw him again. She had been hurt at his betrayal, and she had been betrayed, he had made her feel as if he had only been interested in the sex she had provided him…the bastard. She wanted to continue their written correspondence and occasional meetings, just without the sex, but he refused so she knew that she no longer meant anything to him. Every now and then she would cry herself to sleep, she had tried to remove Cailan from her heart and mind, but it was impossible. She was twenty-four years old now, and still had yet to be betrothed, after what had happened with Cailan, she couldn't bring herself to fall in love with anyone else, in fact she had slept with one person since Cailan, and that person happened to be Ser Gilmore on a night of drunken stupidity, and they both knew that it had meant nothing. He found her attractive and she needed comfort and a way to get rid of the pain so they both turned to each other.

Sora groaned as her attendee told her that her father wished to speak to her, she knew that her father and brother were being set to Ostagar to fight against the darkspawn, so she was positive that it had something to do with that. Sora made sure she was presentable before she made her way downstairs to the grand hall and smiled at her father and she heard her childhood nickname.

"Ahh…pup, I didn't see you come in, Arl Howe has just arrived and we were discussing about our troops advances towards Ostagar."

"Ahh, yes greetings, Arl Howe, it has indeed been a long time, I hope you have been well." She said in a sweet, but pleasant voice. She never liked the man, but she did was expected of her.

"Oh my lady Cousland, it has indeed been a long time, and I hear that you are a force to be reckon with here in Highever that you can even teach a knight a lesson or two. My son, Thomas, would be very interested in meeting with you to test your skill in battle." Howe had said in his closed off demeanor, but kept his nose high.

"I'd like that very much, but don't expect a marriage out of it." Sora chuckled as she turned to her father. "What did you wish to speak to me about, Father?"

"Oh yes my dearest, I needed to let you know that while Fergus and I are gone, you will be the head of the castle and will be running things here. I know you will be able to handle yourself just fine." Bryce said with the utmost confidence in his little spitfire.

"I will do as you say, Father is there anything else that you require of me?"

Bryce frowned ever so slightly in his little girl's demeanor, she had become colder with every year that passed since King Cailan's coronation, and he had wondered long ago if there had been a connection to that incident. His daughter was rebellious, vocal, and bowed to no one, a woman of grace, yet you knew she was loyal, but this woman before him was cold, a warrior, and yet an obedient daughter, but it was as if she had no love to spread to anyone anymore. "I need you to tell Fergus that he will be heading out this morning instead of tomorrow. The arl's troops have been delayed so there is no reason for ours to be delayed as well."

"I will do that, is there anything else?" Sora said coolly, already bored with the conversation.

"Actually, yes, Guard, please show Duncan in."

Sora found her self raising an eyebrow at the man walking into the grand hall, he had to blades on his back and she could tell that he wasn't the average warrior.

"Pup, this is Duncan, he's a Grey Warden, here in Fereldan and he has come to Highever in search of recruits, in fact he is looking at Ser Gilmore if I'm not mistaken." Bryce chuckled before he continued was he was saying. "You know about the Grey Warden's don't you, Pup?"

Sora listened to her father's dialogue about the Grey Warden's and remembered the stories she had heard, and maybe just maybe, that should be life for her. Her interests were peaked when Duncan spoke about her, but of course her father spoke about not having all of his children going to war and something about the right of conscription. In either case, Sora bowed to their guests and went in search of her brother.

Today was just not her day, first she had to settle a dispute between Nan and Thor and then she had to deal with more pleasantries with her mother's guests before she finally got to Fergus's room.

Sora walked in on Fergus sharing a kind, respectable, loving moment between his wife and child. Fergus then turned to Sora and smiled as he said, "and here's my little sister to see me off. Now dry your eyes, love, and wish me well." Sora chuckled as she asked "Just let me know when you two are finished?"

"When there is a man in your life you will understand." The words came out of Fergus's mouth before he could stop them and he felt even worse as he saw the hurt look stream across her eyes.

Sora just sighed and shook her head. "I bring word from father that the Arl's troops have been delayed so you have to leave today in fact." "Then the Arl's men are delayed. You'd think his men were all walking backwards." Fergus said with a sigh then smiled at his wife and son. "Well I better get underway. So many darkspawn to behead so little time!"

Sora rolled her eyes, but laughed lightly at her older brother, Sora then turned as she saw her parents walk in. "father…you could have delivered the message personally if you were going to come up here anyway."

Bryce shook his head as he said, "and miss having both my children in the same room at the same time? Not likely."

Sora huffed, but understood her father's reasoning. Sora listened quietly as she listened to her sister-in-law speak and mother, she idly heard some crude comments made from her brother and father, but she wasn't really paying attention anymore, she just wanted to withdraw and go to her room. Sora then pulled Fergus aside and looked her brother in the eye as she whispered, "do you mind doing me a small favor while you are gone?"

"A favor? What kind, little sis?" "See how Cailan is doing, you don't need to speak with him or anything, but just observe and let me know…please…just do this for me." "Sora…. alright…if that's what you want. I hate how much pain you are in and how much pain you keep putting yourself through." Fergus said lightly as he placed his hand on her shoulder. "I'll be fine, Fergus and thanks for doing this for me." Sora then leaned forward and kissed her brother's cheek before giving him a quick hug. Sora then said good night to her parents and retired for the evening.

Little did she know that she would find out for herself just how Cailan was doing sooner then she would have ever imagined.