Thanks soooooooo much to everyone who has favourited and followed this story, it means a lot.
Thank you again to Breyanaxo for her wonderful review, you are my hero.
Again I don't own Pretty Little Liars, just borrowing.
Enjoy….
Chapter 3:
Emily woke up with a warm feeling of bliss coursing through her. She could feel a soft body pressed against her back and a slender am slung over the curve of her waist. It had been too long since she'd felt this peace, this security. She opened her eyes blinking in the bright sunlight that was filtering through the blinds. Once her vision had cleared she realised she didn't instantly recognise the room she was in. It took a moment for all the events of yesterday to come flooding back to her. A heavy weight settled on her chest as she came to terms with the fact that Paige was no longer hers. She knew for the next few months this would be a regular occurrence. She remembered just after Maya died the few minutes the universe awarded her between sleep and waking when she hadn't remembered yet that she was gone. And now she had to go through it all again, the heart breaking realisation every day that you no longer got to see the person you love. Emily looked down at the hand resting limply on her hip, now registering how delicate and long the fingers were, how unlike Paige's they were. She ran the tip of her pointer finger along the length of Spencer's hand, tracing over the flawless skin. She knew she should be disappointed now that the illusion of Paige wrapped around her was shattered. But she couldn't quite bring herself to be. Not when she could feel Spencer's even breathing on the back of her neck as she slept holding her.
Rolling on to her front and reluctantly breaking contact with Spencer she buried her face into the pillow and let out a groan, she wished she could lay there for longer in Spencer's arms but she knew it would only be awkward if the other girl woke up. Speaking of which, her movement must have disturbed Spencer because she slipped onto her back, stretching her arms above her head and arching off of the mattress. Emily couldn't help but follow the movement with her eyes; watching how the hem of Spencer's shirt rode up a little and exposed a few inches of her toned stomach, she had a birthmark low on her hip that she'd never seen before. Emily wondered if Spencer had anymore marks on her skins that she'd never seen before... and oh my god why did that matter? She shook her head and looked away quickly when Spencer cracked one eye open, a small smile tugged at the left corner of her lips.
"How did you sleep?" Spencer asked gruffly, her voice still thick with sleep. She examined Emily for a moment, her hair was mussed up from sleep and her cheeks were tinged with pink. It looked almost as if she was blushing, but what would she have to blush about?
"Better than I expected actually. I guess I must have exhausted myself with all the crying." Emily replied with a nervous laugh, the brightness in her voice shocking her ever so slightly. She hopped up onto her knees, flicking her hair out of her face and indulging in a much needed stretch of her own. She looked down at Spencer who had was now propped up on her elbows watching her with a raised eyebrow. She couldn't control the smile that graced her lips when she took in Spencer's expression; she couldn't believe she felt so normal this morning.
"Ok, you are far too chirpy in the morning. How did I not remember this about you?" Spencer grumbled, rubbing her eyes as she began to untangle herself from the sheets. Emily laughed at Spencer's grumpiness and gave the girl a playful push as she tried to get out of bed, the paler girl stumbled and had to catch herself on the dressing table. Emily laughed harder and Spencer threw her a death glare over her shoulder as she made her way slowly to the bedroom door. "I need coffee."
Once Spencer had her cup of coffee in her hands she felt much more human, she savoured the warmth of the liquid as it seeped through the porcelain of the mug and into her palms. Emily had gotten into the shower a few moments ago and the distance allowed her the space to think through her next move, she had decided the millisecond the first tear left Emily's eyes yesterday that she was not going to leave her side until she was herself again. She was glad that Emily seemed so happy this morning but she wondered whether it was because the true reality of life without Paige hadn't hit her yet. She still had to tell everyone; Hanna, Aria, her parents and Spencer wasn't sure how Emily was going to handle it all. But one thing she did know was that she was going to be by her side for every part of it. She loved Emily and had always felt an overwhelming compulsion to look out for her, more so than with anyone else in her life. It felt like her purpose somehow and she couldn't rationalise why that was. Why did she feel so different for Emily? Why didn't she feel things with the same intensity when they were directed at Hanna and Aria? Why had none of this ever crossed her mind before? Thank God she had always kept these thoughts to herself, she wasn't sure what she would have done if -A had gotten hold of them and twisted them into something immoral. It could have ruined her relationship with Emily, or it could have changed their relationship... in another way. No, it was just that Emily was pure and kind and good and Spencer couldn't stand that she had no power to stop the cruel things that the world was determined to throw at the swimmer. It wasn't anything more than that... was it? She couldn't make sense of the motivation in her confused mind right now but she was going to make damn sure that she was there to pick up the broken pieces of her best friend no matter how many times she was ripped apart.
She breathed the scent of her coffee in deeply as she dwelled on her past with Emily, their friendship hadn't always been easy. They hadn't always seen eye to eye and there had been times when they frustrated each other but they could never stay mad at one other. Well she could never stay mad at Emily. There had been times when they had stopped speaking but Spencer had always found herself drawn back to the other girl, it was like she was a moth and Emily was the flame. The second she was away from her warmth she craved being near to it again and she would always find someway to fix whatever it was she had broken so she could feel that warmth again. As a Hastings she had been taught that to apologise showed that you were weak but she didn't mind being weak for Emily.
While the hot water beat against her skin Emily granted herself some quiet time to reflect on her situation. Mere minutes ago she'd felt great, as though she could face the world. But now that she was alone, out of reach of the comfort and safety of Spencer, she felt as though she was only just holding herself together. She felt like a piece of cloth that was rapidly fraying around the edges and was at risk of blowing away in the wind. She was too scared to really think about what life would be like without Paige by her side. Too scared to think about how she would tell everyone they were over. Too scared to admit that it was all her fault because she hadn't followed Paige to California like she'd promised to. And most definitely too scared to question why right now she missed Spencer's understanding eyes, all she wanted to do was curl back up in her friend's lap and let the girl make her feel better.
Emily rushed to shut off the flow of water and roughly wrung out her hair, even though she wanted to stay strong and deal with this herself the call of Spencer was just too strong. She wrapped a towel around her body, instantly feeling slightly better when she caught the scent of the other girl on the material. She opened the door and took a few cautious steps out of the bathroom, nervous for reasons she could not begin to explain, she looked around the apartment and finally spotted Spencer at the kitchen table. The paler girl looked up from the book she reading, a bright smile lighting up her features when their eyes met. All the tension in Emily's body seemed to melt away at the sight and a smile to match Spencer's spread across her face.
"Feeling better?" Spencer asked in an exaggeratedly chipper voice that earned her a chuckle from Emily.
"Yes actually. And clearly someone else is, now that they've got some caffeine in their system." Emily replied condescendingly.
"I am not ashamed of my dependence on the devils nectar" Spencer smirked, her eyes flicked over Emily's body that was barely covered by the towel. The girl's legs were incredible, toned and flawless. "I put some clothes out on the bed for you." She said, swallowing thickly and nodding her head towards the bedroom.
Emily nodded back in thanks before making her way into the room finding another clean hockey jersey and a pair of navy sweatpants laid out for her. She ran her fingers over the word 'Hastings' embroidered on the left breast of the shirt and smiled. There was something about being branded with Spencer's surname that she liked. She knew that thoughts like that were dangerous territory but she didn't have time to analyse that right now. She would file it away in the recesses of her mind to stress about at a later date. She slipped the jersey on over her head, stepped into the sweatpants and made her way over to the mirror to check she looked ok. She must have borrowed clothes from the girls hundreds of times but something about being enveloped in Spencer's just felt different this time. She grabbed the towel off the floor and rubbed her hair to remove most of the moisture, she ran her fingers through it to try and tame it before finally pulling it all over her shoulder to allow it to dry off naturally. She made her way back into the living room to find Spencer exactly where she'd left her, still engrossed back in her book and now with her second cup of coffee in hand.
"Who knew Spencer Hastings owned sweatpants?" Emily mocked, gesturing to her attire and pulling Spencer back to reality.
Spencer chuckled "She doesn't. They're Hanna's….well at least I think they're Hanna's. I found them under my bed about a week after her last visit. How does that girl make such a mess?"
"I really have no idea" Emily mused as she reminisced back to the not so successful months she had spent sharing a room with Hanna. She knew exactly how often the blonde's things found their way into unexpected places.
Spencer got a pensive look on her face. "I really hope they're Hanna's. Otherwise I have done some experimenting when I was drunk that I have noooooooo recollection of."
"Yeah right Spence, how drunk would you have to be to sleep with a girl?" Emily asked sceptically, even though she knew that the girl was joking the thought of Spencer with another girl made her stomach tighten in a way that wasn't entirely unpleasant.
"I don't know Em. This is college. Aren't we supposed to be trying new things? You know, broadening our horizons and all?" Spencer replied wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.
Emily stared at Spencer incredulously for a moment, mouth practically hung open. Spencer suddenly burst out laughing and Emily couldn't help but join in, her heart feeling lighter than she thought possible when it was this broken. As the laughter subsided the swimmer looked at her friend with a cocky grin. "I could set you up with someone, I know plenty of girls who would be happy to help you….test the water."
"I'll get back to you. I am getting pretty lonely and I'm yet to meet a guy at this college who isn't a total jerk or a total bore." Spencer said with a seriousness that caused another easy chuckle to escape Emily's lips. They just looked at each other smiling, Spencer was so glad that her friend seemed so happy right now and she couldn't help the swell of pride she felt when she realised that she had everything to do with it.
"Just for the record Spence, you could not be drunk enough to not remember having sex with a girl." Emily said, breaking the easy silence between them. A mischievous smirk tugged at her features as she seemed to debate her next move. "We lesbians really know how to make a night memorable, if you know what I mean."
Now it was Spencer's turn to look shocked, surprised at Emily's sudden forwardness. The swimmer never discussed sex, Alison had called her a prude once when they were younger and of course she had jumped to Emily's defence but she hadn't been able to deny that she agreed just a little. When they were kids she had always just giggled and stayed out of any conversations about sex. But that was before she had come out, before she had discovered herself and had a girlfriend and... had sex. She had never thought about Emily having sex, it made something flutter in Spencer but she wasn't quite sure what it was. Some morbid part of her wanted to continue with the conversation and draw out some more details but that part of her made her feel a little bit dirty. So instead she shook her head and changed the subject entirely, "Sit down." Making a shooing motion towards Emily she herded her towards the couch. Spencer then disappeared around the corner into the kitchen and all that could be heard was the slamming of cupboard doors and rustling. Emily was about to get up and investigate when Spencer reappeared throwing an arm full of chips, cookies, popcorn and soda on the coffee table. She then rushed into the bedroom where more movement could be heard, when she came back her face was obscured by a giant stack of DVDs which she proceeded to dump across Emily's lap.
"What's all this?" Emily asked with a giggle as she gestured towards all of the items Spencer had gathered and took in the eager look on her face.
"We're having a DVD day. We can watch anything. Well anything I have. But you can pick. All day" Spencer rushed out excitedly, sure that this was the best idea she had ever had. And sure that this would keep her mind on more wholesome topics than had just been coursing through it. She had intentionally chosen movies that were PG and only PG, no kissing, no touching and definitely no sex.
Emily looked away quickly as unexpected tears filled her eyes at the thoughtful gesture from her friend. She wasn't sad, she just couldn't believe how sweet and kind Spencer was being. How she was putting herself out entirely for her. Probably not doing things, that before she had showed up at her door, were so important. Emily couldn't believe how lucky she was to have Spencer. "I'm sorry Spence, I'm being so stupid."
In sheer panic at seeing Emily's tears Spencer launched herself at her, practically landing in her lap scattering DVDs everywhere. She cupped Emily's cheeks in her hands trying desperately to stem the flow of tears falling from the tanned girl's eyes. "No no no no no no no. This was meant to make you happy not sad. It was meant to cheer you up."
Emily let out something that was half way between a sob and a laugh. Covering Spencer's hands with her own she looked directly into her eyes, hating the look of panic that she found there. Emily wanted to tell Spencer that she hadn't just cheered her up she had kept her from drowning last night. When Paige had ended it with her she thought she wouldn't be happy again and in a matter of hours Spencer had made her laugh. She had made her feel a lightness she hadn't felt for a long time even before the breakup. Spencer somehow fixed something Emily hadn't even realised was broken. How could she tell her that? How could she put those feelings into words when she didn't even understand them herself? So in a voice that was barely above a whisper she gave Spencer the only thing she could offer. "Being here with you makes me happy Spencer." They stayed just staring at each other for a little while, both trying to gauge each other's reaction to the statement.
Spencer shook her head almost imperceptibly but it was enough to clear the slight daze she had been in for the last few seconds. She cleared her throat "O-ok good" she stuttered. She paused for a second to compose herself. She wanted to get back to the light hearted feeling that had surrounded them this morning but all of a sudden all she could focus on was the way Emily's eyes faded to a deep hazel shade when she cried. It was the most beautiful colour Spencer could ever remember seeing in her life. The atmosphere was thick with something right now that neither girl could find a name for. Removing her hands from Emily's cheeks and climbing off of her lap so that she was perched on the couch instead, Spencer put on as bright a voice as she could muster and asked "What first?" gesturing to the pile of DVDs now on the floor.
Emily looked down at the mess of boxes around her feet. She laughed softly as she reached for one of the cases. "Is this Hanna's too?" She asked holding up a copy of 'Despicable Me'.
Spencer narrowed her eyes and shrugged. "Those little guys are cute. Sue me."
Emily grinned and thrust the DVD into Spencer's hand. Who shook her head before putting the movie on and retrieving the blanket that had been abandoned the night before. She threw herself on the couch next to Emily, tucking her feet under her body so she could lean close to her friend. She tossed the blanket over both of their legs; Emily leant into Spencer's body, settling herself into the paler girl's side. The rest of the day was spent pretty much in this position. The only time they moved was to occasionally use the bathroom and change the DVD. When night fell they quietly slipped to bed, exhausted from doing nothing all day.
Sunday came around all too quickly for Emily's liking. A feeling of dread settled over her as she realised that today she had to leave the little world that she and Spencer had created in the apartment. Once she walked out of the door she had to face reality and it was going to sting like a mother. Spencer assured her that she was welcome to stay the day but Emily knew that there was no point delaying the inevitable. After a shower and some breakfast Spencer walked Emily to the bus stop; the morning had been spent virtually in silence. Both girls lost in their own worries about the week ahead. Emily's bus pulled up to the curb and she moved towards it but Spencer stepped in front of her, pulling her into a hug. She placed a soft kiss into Emily's hair before finding her ear and whispering "You're the strongest person I know Emily Fields." She had been through so much and come out of the other side that Spencer knew she would get through this too. Emily gave her a sad smile before getting on the bus, steeling herself to face what she imagined would be the week from hell.
If you loved this or hated it please let me know. I'm hardly getting any reviews and I would really like to know what people want me to change or keep to same or whether I should just scrap the story all together.