Once again, we do not and have never owned the rights to Babylon5 or the Princess Bride.

Sinclair and David lounged on the bed.

"So, I heard you got a death threat from both Marcus and Ivanova," Sinclair said cheerfully. "That's pretty good going for somebody who's only twelve."

"Add that to the fact that Bester, Londo, and the Drakh want to kill me as well..." David said.

"True, true," Sinclair nodded.

"PLACES!" Constellation yelled. After the recent super-nova incident, the directors had decided not to allow Sythar to do the yelling for a while.

Sinclair hurriedly hopped off the bed and settled into the chair, fishing 'Buttercup 5' from somewhere around his person. He put on the glasses and peered over the top of them at David. "How's this?"
"Fine," David pulled a sick you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me face. "How's that?"

"Wonderful."

"Roll 'em!" Montana yelled. There was the clicking of the clapper-board.

David frowned. "What is this? Are you trying to trick me? Where's the sports?" He paused, lowering his voice to a tone of utter horror. "Is this a Kissing Book?"

Sinclair blinked the triple-question marks out of his eyes. "Wait... just wait..."

"Well, when does it get good?"

"About Season Three," Sinclair said automatically.

"Wasn't that after you left the station?" David asked.

"Coincidence." Sinclair wasn't even fazed. "Keep your shirt on. Let me read." He continued reading smoothly. "Westley had no money for marriage. So he packed his few belongings and left the farm to seek his fortune across the sea."

"Aaaand that's the end of another of our scenes," David yelled, flinging his hands up in the air.

"Cut," Sythar said wearily. He turned to the other directors. "We'll edit that out later."

"Marcus..."

"Mmhmm?"
"Do you really think I'm the most beautiful woman you've ever seen, or was that simply another of your ways to annoy me?"

Marcus looked at her intently again. He had discovered that this, too, annoyed her. He opened his mouth...

"PLACES!" Constellation yelled.

"Darn!" Ivanova walked to her place in front of YASS (Yet Another Setting Sun). Marcus joined her. They half-embraced.

Montana took a deep breath. "Roolll eeeeemmmmmm!"

Sinclair spoke over the scene. "It was a very emotional time for Ivan-ahem-B-buttercup."

"I don't belieeeve this," David whined.

"Neither do I," Sinclair said. "Ivanova? Emotional? In any other way than 'I'm-going-to-rip-out-your-tongue-and-mince-it-up-and-feed-it-to-you emotional?"
Marcus cleared his throat loudly. The talking ceased.

"I fear I'll never see you again," Ivanova said.

Marcus smiled, suddenly very reassuring. "Of course you will."

"But what if something happens to you?" Ivanova thought for a moment. "Like you die suddenly in an alien life-transferral machine?"
"I'm not saying that couldn't happen," Marcus said cheerfully. "Never trust alien life-transferral machines. But hear this now," he became very serious. "I will come for you."

Ivanova stared into his eyes. "But how can you be sure?"

Marcus paused, and then smiled broadly. "This. This is true love. Do you think this happens every day?"

Slowly, but definitely, they kissed. Then Marcus let go, and waved over his shoulder as he walked off down the lane. Ivanova waved back, and then stared at her hand in disbelief.

"I don't believe that just happened..." Sinclair said loudly.

David spluttered. "We're on, we're on!"

"Oops." There was a slight gasp, and then silence for a few seconds. "Westley didn't reach his destination. His ship was attacked by the Dread Pirate Roberts who never left captives alive. When Buttercup got news that Westley was murdered..."

"Murdered by pirates is good," David interjected.

The scene did a close up of Ivanova, staring out a window. Her expression is dead.

"She went into her room and shut the door. And for days she neither slept nor ate..."

David piped up again. "Hey, my mother does that. It's called a fast, and..."

"Don't get me started on fasting," Sinclair said bitterly. "Shut up."

Ivanova spoke emotionlessly. "Love is always unrequited..."

"LINE!" Sythar boomed to the sound of distant shelling.

"I will never love again," Ivanova didn't even miss a beat.

"CUT!" Constellation said quickly. "That's a wrap. Wonderful acting, Miss Ivanova."

"I just watched the episodes of Shortland Street taped on your DVD recorder," Ivanova said sweetly. "It taught me so much." She added in an undertone, "How to throw up in ten-seconds flat."

The directors weren't listening. They were screaming in horror.