There was no time for delay - Paul bore the news that if they didn't leave right away, Geoff would slip through their fingers. In a matter of minutes, Jun had drawn up a battle plan, Barry had clambered into his big, crazy space suit, Paul had reported back to HQ and Jorgio had chosen "Express Delivery" for the paper.
Within 2-3 working days, they were on the road. Metaphorically speaking, of course - this was the future, with space and flying cars and stuff. The squad of five boarded their UNSC D77H-TCI Pelican, piloted by the beautiful and mysterious Constantia Peña. Aside from her fearsome piloting skills, the only thing anyone knew of Constantia was that her surname meant: "dweller by a large, jutting rock". It was widely assumed that this was crude innuendo, but Constantia insists the name was given to her when the saved the life of a large, jutting rock on the planet Spain. Having never been to Spain, nobody could say whether or not there were any large, jutting rocks in dangerous situations, but it seemed reasonable enough.
After a fairly bumpy take-off (some paper slipped out of the emergency exit and Jorgio had to be sedated), the road trip had begun. Barry had brought the sandwiches, but there was no ham, because Jorgio - tasked with the quest to acquire ham - had filled his suitcases with paper. The paper turned out to make extraordinarily good sandwich wrapping, but without ham the little parcels contained only disappointment and carbohydrates.
Jun himself was just munching through his last egg salad sandwich - a bitter disappointment all round - when he heard a sudden urgent beeping. At first, he thought it might be coming from the Pelican, but then he realised that a pelican was a large water bird with pale plumage and that that was bloody stupid. He glanced at his big, crazy space suit HUD-O-MATIC 2000 and discovered that the source of the beeping was an unauthorised software intrusion. After a little digging, Jun found that a new AI routine had been downloaded into his big, crazy space suit - designated CTN 0452-9 Cortana. Jun deleted it immediately, because viruses are dangerous and only a fool doesn't know that. The beeping stopped at once, and Jun felt a sudden weight being lifted from his shoulders, as if he'd avoided a lot of unnecessary whining and character exposition that might get in the way of his desire to shoot shit.
As they exited the upper layers of the atmosphere, shutting the pelican's beak to avoid the less pleasant effects of oxygen deprivation and being exposed to the vacuum of space, the squad felt unusually cheerful. It felt good to be on the road again, and Geoff made a mean lasagna. After they left the system, the Pelican was put into auto-pilot mode and everyone entered cryo-sleep. The cryo-sleep chambers were of an older, recalled model, produced by a company who's CEO was the last surviving chimp in the universe, but they were a steal - and what's a little icy death between colleagues?
Left alone with their thoughts, the team slowly lost consciousness, fading into oblivion as they drifted into the expanse of space. Whatever thoughts last crossed their minds, we can be quite certain that potato salad was not among them - which is a shame, as it was the one thing that would have saved them.