Chapter 4 Letters and Black Lace

Kevin's hands were shaking as he slowly opened the first letter with one thought running in his mind: Why on earth was Macy writing to Nick? He didn't know what to expect but somewhere deep in his heart he had an inkling that he won't like what he was about to find out. His heart began to beat rapidly as he slowly uncovered the truth about the relationship between his brother and his ex-girlfriend. The first letter was dated four months ago and so he began to read:

September 17

Dearest Nick,

I know what we did last weekend was wrong but you can't keep ignoring me forever. I need my best friend. And please stop blaming yourself. This is my fault too. I didn't exactly push you away. I really hope this doesn't jeopardize our friendship. Just because we had sex doesn't mean it's the end of the world…

SEX? Did he read it right or was his brain playing mind games with him? Kevin had to stop because it was becoming very difficult to read since his hands were shaking so much. He had to read the last line over again just to make sure he didn't misread it for something else. But there it was that three letter word that was causing him so much pain right now. Nick and Macy had sex while she was dating him? He wanted to stop and scream because this had to be a nightmare but once again his curiosity got a hold of him and he continued reading.

…And don't worry I kept my promise. I didn't tell Kevin anything. Please Nick, I want to talk to you. I miss you. You don't understand how lonely I feel especially since the gang is all gone. It's just you and me and I really need someone to turn to during this difficult time. My parents are driving me insane and I just need someone normal in my life. Please, Nick, I really don't want to lose you. I know it might take time to readjust because I mean, yeah, sex is a pretty big thing but just know that even though what we did isn't exactly right, I'm glad that it was you I lost my virginity to…You always had a special place in my heart. And I do care about your brother but what we have is special…You're my best friend…I don't want to lose you. For me, what we did last Saturday wasn't a mistake…

Please talk to me again. I'm sorry if I caused you any stress.

Your best friend (at least I still hope so),

Mace

Kevin slowly put down the letter. His body felt so numb because he couldn't believe what he just read. This had to be a nightmare. There was no way Macy and Nick could ever betray him. This just had to be one horrifying nightmare. It just had to be. But rage began to consume his body and he didn't realize that he ripped the letter that was in his hands. Because he needed to get to the bottom of this, he opened another letter and began to read.

October 1

Dear Nick,

Okay, I know we promised we wouldn't let it happen again but it did, okay? Maybe instead of trying to fight it we can embrace the fact that we really, really want to be together. And don't you dare say that I'm using you or anything like that. The truth is that I've always had feelings for you but I never got a chance to tell you because I was scared. I didn't know that you felt the same way about me and I guess I didn't want to face rejection. Call me selfish if you want but that's the truth. Nick, please understand that when we have sex, I don't regret it at all because I love being with you. You're like my second half. And please, don't be mad at me. You don't understand how much I need you right now. You make me become a better person. I feel so much better when I'm with you because you accept my flaws and your concern about my well-being just goes to show that you really care about me like how I care about you. And I PROMISE to stop cutting myself. I know it's bad and I do listen to what you have to say. Didn't I stop forcing myself to throw up? See, it was because of you, Nick, that I was able to fight my battle with bulimia. And because of you, I've become stronger. You're the only one that can give me strength to go through this difficult time. No one understands me but you. Please, don't leave me.

-Mace

As much as it was shocking to find out that Macy had an eating disorder and that she had a history of cutting herself, there was no denying the fact that Kevin was angry. Why couldn't Macy confide in him? Why was Nick so much better? Why did they have sex? There was so many questions racing through his mind but he was so consumed in anger that he felt light-headed. It was like the raging monster inside of him was trying to get out but Kevin couldn't stop himself from reading more.

October 8

Dearest Nick,

Okay, I understand why you're mad at me. And really I didn't mean to say it while we were having sex. When I said I love you, it wasn't because I loved what you were doing to me (although you were pretty good... but that's beside the point) it's because I really REALLY LOVE YOU, NICK. You're everything to me. And I'm sorry it didn't come out sincere but it was really heart felt. If you can just give me another chance, I would say it to your face when we're not making love. I love you Nick. Plain and simple. Please, don't let me go. You don't understand how much you mean to me. Please, Nick, forgive me.

The next time I see you I'm going to say those three words to your face. You can count on that.

Love always,

Macy

Kevin's blood was boiling with absolute rage now because he remembered that time when he told Macy he loved her and she wasn't able to say the words back to him. It was because she loved Nick not him. He picked up another letter just to see how much more damage Macy could do to his heart, which was already being shattered into a million little pieces.

October 13

To my love (I won't write your name just in case you lose this)

I know I should tell you this in person but I get really paranoid that someone might overhear us. So I wrote this letter and you BETTER NOT LOSE IT. Okay, first I think you should take a deep breath before you proceed. Okay…did you do it? I'll never know but here it goes...I'm late. I usually get my period at this time but I checked and I'm spot clean. Please don't freak out. It could be just stress. I read in a magazine that if you have so much stress it can affect your menstrual cycle. So that could be it. I went to the pharmacy today and bought a pregnancy test and it was really unclear because it looked like a division sign and not really like a plus sign so I don't know…I can't get another one because I already used my $20…but I'm going to pray that this is just a false alarm. Call me when you finish reading this.

Don't freak out. Please. (Even though you have every reason to be…)

-You know who this is from…(I'm so paranoid I can't even sign my name!)

Kevin couldn't believe Nick almost got Macy pregnant. His hands were trembling as he opened the next letter. He felt his whole being becoming weaker and weaker by the second as the truth steadily revealed itself. It was worse than he imagined.

October 15

Dearest Nick,

About what I said Monday…it was a false alarm. ALLELUIA! I have my period so there's nothing you need to worry about. But you're right, we shouldn't do anything if we don't have a condom. You don't understand how happy I am. Imagine me as a mom? Wow…I would need to do a lot of explaining to everyone. You think anyone would buy it if I said it was by divine intervention like some sort of immaculate conception? LOL okay I know I shouldn't joke about being pregnant but I can do it now since I know I'm not! And I know I should tell you this in person but I didn't see you this morning so I just had to share the good news. I hope to see you by the end of the day. I love you. Maybe we can celebrate later on today? We can go for ice cream or something. Hahaha. I'm so giddy like a kid in a candy store.

Oh and, even though it doesn't apply to us now, the fact that you said you'd give up your music career to help me raise our baby, makes me love you even more. Because Nick, you have no idea how much I love you. Don't ever leave me because I'm yours forever.

Loving you deeply,

M

And so Kevin read the next letter which was short and had the one sentence that Kevin so desperately wanted Macy to have said back to him that time in the train station when he confessed that he loved her.

October 23

Dear Nick,

I love you. That's all.

P.S. You looked really hot in your aviators today.

-Macy

His hands were shaking even more as he tried to unfold the next letter.

November 5

Dear Nick,

I'm sorry! Okay, I'M REALLY SORRY! I promise that I would break up with Kev, but it's really hard. He's like a little kid that sometimes you have to be really careful about what you say to him. You should know this because he's your brother. I understand if you hate me right now but I WILL end things with him because I want to be with you and only you. I PROMISE. It might take me awhile but I'll break up with Kevin. Just give me time, please?

You're the one that I want. Because Nick, when we're together nothing seems wrong and I know that sounds messed up because I'm cheating on Kev but every time our bodies intertwine and we become one with each other, it's the greatest feeling in the world. It's as if I was made for you and you were made for me. I love when you're inside of me because I love feeling so close to you. You make me feel safe. If I could have one whole day to myself, I would spend it by making love to you because I want to show you just how much you mean to me, Nick. It feels so right to have my skin against yours. And your touches and caresses make me melt inside. You're so gentle yet passionate at the same time and I don't want to make you blush, but when you're driving yourself inside of me, I swear I feel like a sex god is making love to me. Because Nick you are amazing. I'm surprised that I'm the first girl you've been with because how on earth are you so good at having sex? You really are a jack of all trades. I know you're probably smiling at yourself right now from all the flattery I'm giving you. But it's not just lust. What we have is LOVE because we understand each other not only in a physical level but in an emotional one as well. That's why I know when you are mad at me and I would do anything to wipe away any form of distress I caused you.

You are my Nick—my best friend, my lover, my soul-mate.

Loving you with all of my heart,

Your Macy

Kevin was trembling from head to toe but he had to read another one.

November 15,

Dear Nick,

Thanks for listening to all my problems. I swear my mom is insane! As much as I love her, I swear to god, I have no idea what my dad saw in her. She's so controlling. I feel like I'm her slave at her every disposal. But don't worry Nick I didn't relapse or anything into my deep depression. Because I have you, I have the strength to carry on and respect my body. I'm so grateful to have you look out for me. You're like my guardian angel because I really don't know where I would be if I didn't have you by my side. You're my everything and I'm happy I was able to tell you that yesterday.

Although I'm kind of upset we didn't get to do anything last night but it just goes to show that we can have a good time just talking and being with each other. And you complain that all we do is have sex all the time! But I'm telling you we connect in all different levels because just by hearing your voice makes me want you even more.

I love you forever and ever and ever and ever. Till infinity and beyond, as Buzz Lightyear would say.

Your best friend,

Macy

Kevin read the next one.

November 23

Nick,

Okay I got your letter and I forgive you. That Penny is such a little bitch. I swear. And I know she's your ex-girlfriend but that doesn't give her the right to just flirt so openly with you in public. And I get it. You promised to take her to the winter formal even if you guys aren't together but don't worry I'll be there. Just remember that after the dance when you're no longer in that witch's grasp, you're going to come home to me and I'll make you remember who you really belong to because I swear, Nick, I'm going to give you a night you'll never forget…

Kevin wasn't comfortable reading the next few lines because Macy was very graphic about what she planned on doing to Nick. It was enough to make him blush and even though he was enraged, the things Macy wrote made a certain part of his body respond.

…and after all that, you won't even remember who Penny is because you're going to be moaning my name so loudly tonight. I hope you understand that I'm dead serious. I want you and only you. I don't want to come across as being so possessive but I can't help myself. I could never stand seeing you with her in the first place (even before we got together). So enjoy the dance but you better save your energy for later. ;-)

Your one and only love,

Macy

Kevin felt his whole body trembling. He was way past angry now. He was so furious he could murder someone but once again he just needed to read the next letter. He was hoping for anything that could say that this was all a joke and nothing Macy wrote was real.

December 1

Dear Nick,

I hope Frankie didn't catch on. I'm sorry I was so loud but I couldn't help it! I swear Nick, you are just that good…I hate feeding into your ego but it's the truth. Just tell Frankie that you and I were practicing for a wrestling match for a gym competition. Okay, I know that sounds ridiculous but we can't let him tell anyone else! Hopefully, he doesn't know about the birds and the bees just yet. But you know what? I'm going to buy him a big basket of chocolate. I never thought there'll come a day when I would have to bribe an eight-year-old into silence. But I promise next time, I won't try anything on you in your living room. Yeah, that was really, really risky. I can't even begin to imagine if it was your parents who walked in on us. Nick, I can't stress enough how sorry I am again. It's just that when I'm with you I feel like I need to touch you at all times. Sorry for being so hormonal but it's not all my fault! You were the one who made a pass at me first when you said "What's that on your neck?" and licked me. Of course, you know that's my weak spot! So don't blame this all on me! But we shouldn't argue anymore. It's almost Christmas and I don't want us to fight during the holidays. Besides, I got your Christmas present really early because I'm so excited to show you. I'll give you a hint: black lace. Think about it. Hahaha. I might show it to you on my birthday since my parents will be gone. I want to celebrate with just you, lover boy. So you better free up your ENTIRE afternoon.

Until we meet again,

Macy

Black lace? Then he looked at the sexy pair of panties that were in Nick's drawer. Those were from Macy. This was all too much for him because images of Nick and Macy together were flooding his mind. This was his worst nightmare because Macy left him for his younger brother and he didn't suspect anything until now. He felt like he was suffocating because he wanted to wake up from this horrible dream because this just had to be a dream. It just had to be. This couldn't be real life…Macy could never do that to him. And Nick? He trusted him completely. He's my brother after all. He could never betray me. Right? There were a few letters left but he didn't want to read anymore because how much more pain could he take? The ones he did read made it pretty clear what exactly was the extent of their relationship. His vision became blurry as tears began to flood his eyes. Macy left him for Nick, his brother who he shared his flesh and blood. This was beyond anything he could ever imagine. And where was Nick right now? Was he making love to Macy at that very moment as he sat in his room? The idea seemed plausible judging by the content of Macy's letters. How could they have done this to him? They were sneaking behind his back this whole time—for four months! He trusted Nick to keep an eye out for signs of another guy but it never crossed his mind that the other guy could be him! Kevin got up and paced back and forth as he scratched his head because everything started to make sense: How Macy never liked to kiss him when they were in front of Nick. How the two of them would always seem to act so weird whenever they were near each other. And now that he thought about it, that moment in the kitchen during her birthday when he thought he caught them about to kiss...his instincts were probably right and they had the nerve to lie to his face about it! And when he dropped off her stuff at her place a few days ago, Nick most likely lied about doing homework with Macy. They were probably fooling around with each other. He had to close his eyes because he realized that Nick often said he went over to Macy's house to study but that was probably a lie too. Because all of those study sessions were most likely an excuse for them to make love to each other. Their intimate relationship was now exposed and Kevin had trouble breathing because he really didn't want to believe that Macy and Nick were both capable of doing this to him. Didn't they care about his feelings? Didn't he matter to them? Why did they do this? He had so many questions racing through his head but one thing was clear: Macy cheated on him with his own brother. Nick was the other guy.

And that revelation in itself devastated Kevin Lucas completely.

Closing Remarks:

Awww...I feel so bad for Kevin. But those letters revealed a lot and the next chapter will be pretty dramatic. So brace yourselves. Anyway, I plan on writing a chapter or two about why Nick and Macy have such a strong connection. It's going to be a flashback on how exactly they started getting close. As I mentioned before (and in my profile) I'm a big fan of character development. I like to explore why character do what they do. In those flashback chapters, hopefully I can explain why Macy and Nick are behaving so immorally. Ultimately I want to show how the power of love can make them do crazy things. Furthermore, one of the letters already gave hints about how Nick was able to take care of Macy during her bout of depression so I hope to explore this crucial element in their relationship.

And the next chapter is going to end with a major cliff-hanger. I'm not going to give it away. But all I'm going to say is that it's pretty intense. And how do you guys feel about Nick and Macy now? This is such a dramatic story. However, you guys asked me to make this into a full blown story so...EXPECT MAJOR DRAMA...LOL

P.S. it's really unusual for me to update one day apart especially during the school year but since I have a little break between exams I felt so inspired to continue this story. Plus, I wrote this chapter in advance so I wanted to post it ASAP. But don't expect to have another update as quick as this one. I haven't written anymore future chapters for this story except this one.

SO PLEASE READ & REVIEW! :-) I love to hear your input!

-Penelope36