Author's Note: So Sorry to make you wait, considering I've had this chapter written for a while, but I'm trying to get you guys accustomed to dry spells like this, because I'm going back to school in a week and I probably won't be able to update for a while. I'm writing as fast as I can to at least have the main chunk of chapters done before I go back, so i can just update once a week, but I'm not sure if that'll happen. If anything, stick with me, I promise I'll finish it whenever I have time. I am so grateful to everyone who's taking the time to read this weird little thing. I truly appreciate all the little bits of love. And without further ado, here it is! the next installment.

Chapter 5

Hope felt himself trembling as Lila took his hand in hers. It was the closest he'd gotten to a girl since Vanille and he already felt filthy for it.

But he had to admit, it felt nice.

He'd spent years carefully analyzing each hug Vanille had given him, the soft feel of her wrist in his hand, the way her body had pressed up against his back in the hover car, that one time they'd tried to get away and find Snow...It all still made him dissolve into childish butterflies.

But this...this was different. This was a kind of quieter happiness, not marred or tinged by the danger of being killed or the lust for revenge shadowing everything else. This was a girl he'd met just by chance while working at a metalcraft shop not far from Lightning's place. She hadn't been beholden to him from the beginning, and they'd had a semi-normal courtship of flirty glances and every sentence spoken had a double meaning. It was like an elegant kind of dance that led to nothing, and was unlike anything Hope had ever experienced before.

he wasn't quite sure how to deal with it.

Right away his thoughts raced to wondering if his hand would get too sweaty and she'd pull away in disgust or that he needed to readjust his baggy pants but couldn't now that his hand wasn't free and what if they fell and she saw his underwear and could she hear his heart racing cuz boy, he sure could, loud and clear.

"You okay with this?" she asked softly, leaving no room for any other answer in her icy blue eyes.

"Yeah, sure it's fine!" Hope blustered. she giggled. "You're funny."

"S'what everyone tells me. hehe" he cracked a lopsided grin. Not everyone thought he was funny. He often tried to be but more likely than not he failed. But to Lila, everything he did was entertaining.

He couldn't have chosen another girl any further from his real image of Vanille in his mind. Lila was all light seriousness where Vanille had been deep, compassionate fun. Her eyes were the lightest shade of blue, almost grey, like his own, and her hair so blonde it was white, curling to just a bit below her shoulders. Her skin however was a bit darker then his, and leant a kind of

exotic look to her that he had to admit, Vanille possessed as well, but to a different degree.

It hurt, comparing her to Vanille like that because to him, simply nothing else could compare, but Snow had told him he'd never forget his first love.

'No matter what beautiful creature you manage to snare, you will always compare her to that first woman that took your breath away.' Hope smiled. Snow was a dad now, with a 1 year old little boy named Tersel and a little girl on the way soon.

Serah took being pregnant well, her face becoming a good bit fuller then it used to be, but otherwise remaining unchanged. She also became a zealous cook, constantly making new concoctions and using Hope as her guinea pig because he had what she called a 'stomach of iron.' He didn't mind though. She vaguely reminded him of how Norah would dote over him with food and it warmed his heart.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Lila said softly as they crossed the second bridge into the new division of the town of Central Gran Pulse, and the lighting grew steadily dimmer.

"My thoughts are worth a little bit more then that..." he sighed, then backpedaling as he saw her frown.

"But of course, that's only because they're good thoughts, nice thoughts about people I like, about people like you...about you, yeah! that's why they're worth more." he stopped talking and seemed to turn in on himself. What. An. Idiot.

Lila laughed outright. "Do I really make you this nervous? That can't be good, Hope! Relax. I'm just a girl. I don't bite!" she patted him on the back and smiled sympathetically.

"Sorry...it's just...ah, nevermind."

Unlike most girls, Lila didn't inquire further, because to be honest she had a vague idea. Hope hadn't returned to school after his one year attempt of it while living in Palumpolum with his dad. he'd given up his studies and come to work full time on Pulse, living with Lightning, one of the legendary warriors. It was said he'd fought alongside her during the battles against the fal'Cie, but to see him nervous and small now made her feel strangely powerful.

"It's alright. Come on, let's go sit under that tree and watch the sun set!" she pranced ahead and sat underneath the tall fir-oak hybrid. Hope joined her not long after. the earth was warm underneath their bare hands and as the sun's bloody light spilled over the valley, it tinged everything orange.

Hope stared. shook his head twice. stared again. Vanille was sitting in front of him, leaning against the tree.

"Something wrong?" her green eyes flashed with curiosity and heartfelt concern. He could pick out every last freckle on her face.

"N-no..." as he spoke, it seemed like the spell was broken, forcing him to realize it was just Lila and the light made her hair look orange and her eyes darker. It hurt a lot more then he thought it should. thought it could.

"Could I...could I kiss you, Hope?" Lila asked politely, her cheeks reddening and her eyes downcast.

"Sure. I guess..." she paused, and her eyebrows took a nosedive. "You guess? Do you even really like me? Or are you still fawning over that Oerba girl that died creating the Bridge?"

Lila's words stung, because until now, Hope had never, ever thought of Vanille as dead. He had a feeling, deep in his bones that he'd see her again someday. And he'd always feel that way.

"She's not dead!" he snapped. Lila got up with a swish of her long skirts and stomped away.

"Go find her then! and kiss HER!" she yelled back as a parting shot. Hope slumped underneath the tree and felt the heat from the sun still burning against his cheek. It was like a blanket of warmth, and it felt even better then being with Lila somehow. And somehow it reminded him of Vanille.

"You cant be dead...you promised me..." he whispered, closing his eyes and falling asleep.

a rustling in the grass made him start awake. the light show of sunset had ended, and all that remained was a light purple cast to the sky.

"Thought I'd find you out here. Instinct I guess." Lightning came and sat next to him on the grass, bumping his shoulder in a comradely fashion. "Have a nice nap?"

Hope groaned and rubbed his eyes. There was a weird taste in his mouth. "I guess..." then all that had happened before caught up to him and he frowned. "Until I just remembered it all. I blew it with Lila."

Lightning made a soft dissaproving sound with her tongue. "She wasn't worth the trouble anyway. did a little background check. all money and no substance. You're better then that. you need someone who's not all smoke and mirrors." she looked at him then, meaningfully.

"yeah I guess. but I mean, I'm only 16. I'm not looking for someone to marry. I just want to have been kissed before my wedding day, you know?"

Lightning chuckled. "I get it, I get it. Guys always did value experience more then girls." she raised an eyebrow. Hope's face reddened. "I didn't mean that! GAH! Light!" he punched her arm playfully.

after a gentle skirmish, they calmed down again and Lightning got up. "You still got your hunting knife?" Hope nodded, patting his waist band. he'd carried it with him 24/7 ever since he'd left school and was allowed to.

"Good. come on. My blood's boiling, I need to kill something." she didn't say it ruthlessly, but Hope immediately understood what she meant.

Unable to truly put her heart into the force again after what she'd been through, Lightning had gone into early retirement with a heavy stipend from the capital. But she'd been bred for battle, and it was all she'd known. Now to be presented with endless days of thinking and pursuing her hobbies, she found it was better to go out sometimes and 'let off some steam' as she called it. Ever since Hope had been living with her, it was always that way.

In some ways he felt like the caretaker, and she the child. But it was an equilibrium he knew they'd never break out of. They were friends, and had a great amount of respect for each other, like soldiers who'd battled together in the same battalion. Faced death and won. Together. It was a strange bond he doubted anyone but they understood.

Without question they wandered off into the unknown wilds surrounding the town. Lightning still wasn't satisfied with his battle prowess, even though he'd argued he'd always been more of a magic user then a fighter, and that more often then not, his spells got her out of a tight spot. But she refused to believe brains over brawn. It led to a spirited debate on the way back home, as Hope went through their drops. a few Fangs, a bit of stray fur. nothing huge. But they were met by a frantic Snow upon returning to the town. he was pacing in front of the modern, but small hospital. "Thank the GODS, where have you two been? Serah's gone into labor and I can hardly handle Tersel AND her demands at the same time! Can you please watch him for now, until she's in the clear?" he hastily handed over the little baby who resembled his mother more then anything, with wispy light strawberry blonde hair that bordered white and big blue eyes that melted everyone's heart. Lightning hefted the infant onto her hip a bit like a gun in a holster and Hope shouldered his diaper bag. the two headed home in low spirits, Lightning worrying about Serah and Hope worrying about how they were going to take care of a BABY for an indeterminate amount of hours.

"Don't overthink it, kid. it's simple. you feed it, you change it, you put it in a pen with toys. wa-la, parenthood."

Hope remained skeptical. He kept looking over his shoulder at baby Tersel in his pen as they had dinner, and blanched at Lightning's proposal that HE watch the baby while she went for a quick check up visit on Serah.

"It's not hard! he's practically asleep anyway!" she pointed at the lethargic baby, drooling from one side of his mouth. Hope was practically having a panic attack.

"Geez! 16 year old boys and babies! whoda thunk that they're humanities oil and water! You'll be FINE! I'm coming right back!"

"But-butbut!" Hope was cut off by the door slamming, which jolted Tersel from his quasi-sleep and he gave a half-hearted whimper.

"Don't cry, please! She said she's coming right back!"

tersel seemed to accept that, and went back to staring listlessly at his infant toys. Hope stayed close, smiling at the baby when he turned to look, but otherwise worrying himself into a state. Somehow, thinking about Vanille calmed him down a little.

He'd analyzed and re-analyzed their conversation that day on the Arcylte Steppe. It still didn't quite make any sense...except...Vanille's reference to another lifetime. At first, he'd thought she'd had no idea when he'd made the promise and was playing around, or lying again, as she was wont to do at the time. But now...it was much heavier then that.

What if she had literally meant 'another lifetime' as in...she'd known about his promise BEFORE IT HAD HAPPENED. Time travel. the idea was mind boggling, and if it wasn't so all-consuming he'd automatically dismiss it out of hand as being too crazy. But magic existed. he was able to protect people, to heal people, with nothing but his power. Why shouldn't time travel also be possible?

He'd just started to put together the logistics of it-what type of power would be required, what mindset, the conditions, the probability of arriving in the correct time-when Lightning returned with news.

Serah was having a difficult labor, and would be staying overnight. Hope groaned inwardly. great. now he wouldn't sleep, worrying about the baby AND Serah. but the drawn look in Lightning's face made him feel sympathetic. He reached out a hand and squeezed her arm gently.

"It'll be okay. Serah's strong."

Lightning nodded wordlessly, picked up Tersel and headed to bed. Hope couldn't help but think that of all people, she seemed the least likely to be good with children, and ended up being the best, sometimes outlasting even Serah's patience.

Maybe that's how she put up with me...so long ago. I was a real piece of work back then too.

he smiled to himself at the memory, of a younger Hope who'd had an insatiable thirst to 'prove' himself to everyone he came in contact with. He still felt like he had something to prove, but not to everybody, and certainly not to his friends. No, he had to prove it to himself.

the night went quickly, and he actually did manage to get to sleep, despite his fears, but his dreams were troubled. Images of a much less happy-go-lucky Vanille, beaten and bedraggled haunted his mind, calling for help, far beyond anywhere he could reach. When Lightning called for him in the morning he woke to dry tear trails on his cheeks.

"So?" he asked simply as they all sat down to a calm breakfast with the baby.

"So what? Serah pulled through, had the baby around 4 in the morning. she's been resting. Planning to head over once we finish up here. Meet your baby sister, huh Terse?" the little boy gurgled with satisfaction. Hope couldn't help but smile. relief coursed through his body. It was going to be okay.

Lightning was eyeing him a bit strangely this morning though, and he couldn't help but notice.

'What's up?"

she shook her head, as if clearing it of some stray thought. "Nothing. It's just...well...you were talking in your sleep last night, and you know I have ears of a cat so-"

"What did I say?" Hope had a good idea what it was he said, but he feigned interest, hoping to throw her off. It wouldn't do to let Light know he hadn't exactly gotten over Vanille yet.

"Stuff about saving her, and somebody help her, and a lot of deep noooos" Light smirked. Hope didn't have to fake being embarassed. "Well, last night's dinner must have disagreed or something, because I have no memory of any of that."

Lightning shook her head, rubbing Tersel's cheek absently. "Sure, kid. sure."

They were all walking over to the hospital when Hope noticed a strange looking man across the street, down a back alley. He stuck out like a sore thumb in his strangely antiquated clothing and big blue battle staff. He definitely didn't look fit to use it. Hope hung back, not exactly eager to reach Serah and her newborn, sure that Light would somehow coerce him into holding her, and then scold him for not minding her head, so he waved the others on and crossed the street. The man seemed to be subconsciously calling to him, drawing him close. It was severely disconcerting.

Lightning watched him go, and felt a whiff of magic in the air. she frowned, brows furrowed as she went inside with the baby. As soon as she could she'd come back out to check on him. Things didn't feel right.

"You're a strapping young lad, then." the man smiled, showing perfectly flawless teeth. There was a glint of something familiar in his golden eyes, but Hope couldn't quite place it.

"Quite a nice staff you've got there. Know how to use one?' Hope took it from the man's proferring hand reverently, spinning it and making a few sparks of healing magic sprout from both ends.

"Of course I do, boy. Why else would I be carrying it around?" the man took it back and closed his eyes in brief concentration. a flow of dark black magic spewed out from the bottom, like spilled ink. Hope leapt back with a yelp, but his feet were already stuck in the muck. It pulled down, down down and he had nothing to grab hold of. the man was laughing now.

"Just go with the magic, Hope. it won't hurt you. It's part of you, how could it?"

"Who are you and why are you doing this?" Hope demanded, giving up struggling, but seething with anger at not being given a choice.

"Consider me a friend of Fang's. I am Professor Lancaster, and I know a thing or two about magic." the black liquid had become a darkness all around them, and Hope experienced the sensation of floating. He could see Professor Lancaster leaning back a bit in thin air, reclining.

"Fang? What does she have to do with anything? She turned Ragnarok with Vanille, I saw it!"

"And so she did. Quite a noble deed, and maybe a bit less lonely the second time around, when she had company."

Hope looked away. It was disturbing how much this man seemed to know. He obviously knew a thing or two about his relationship with Vanille.

"So...what do you want me for? To tell me something? give me a message?"

Professor Lancaster shook his head. "I'm here to answer your questions as best as I am able, dear boy. It's the least i can do. and in a way, the most I can do, given the cycle."

Hope's head hurt. He could ask anything, but he'd have to be careful.

"Is...is time travel possible?"

professor Lancaster's eyes lit up. "In a way, yes. but it is not as straight forward as you think it is."

Hope was about to ask what he meant, but held back. He had other things he needed to know.

"Is...is Vanille still alive?" his heart skipped a beat even before the Professor answered. The older man heaved a great sigh and ran a hand over his face.

"In another time, in another place, yes, my boy she lives still." Hope's face lit up, then fell in the space of around 3 seconds. It was a cryptic answer, and had been said with sadness, not anything positive. He looked away, trying to hide his disappointment.

"You loved her, I see. It is a pure, pure love, the strongest magic there is. And I've seen my share of magic." the Professor managed a weak smile. Hope didn't answer. "I'd like to go back now."

Lancaster sighed again. "Is that all you wished to know?"

"Yes. Now bring me back please."

"No use getting cross with me, boy, it isn't my fault. I'm just doing what I was told to, you must understand-"

"There is nothing in this world for me without her." Hope nearly choked out the words, but there they were, loud in the eerie silence of the magical night. "If you can even begin to understand what it's like, knowing I can be with her, no matter how crazy the chances...you would know why I don't want to talk to you anymore."

the older man's eyes had gone soft, studying the young man before him with a new light. something akin to sympathy. "Understood. I shan't bother you any further. Go in peace."

the darkness filtered away like a misty fog, and Hope was once more standing on the street in front of the hospital. Lightning was leaning against the wall, her arms crossed, staring at both of them, not in the least disturbed by their sudden reappearance.

Hope gave the Professor an acknowledging nod and left, allowing Light to escort him back inside the hospital, her eyes shooting darts at the old man.

"Seek, and you shall find." he said quietly, and started walking back up the road.

Lightning stayed quiet until they were feet away from Serah's room. "Did that have anything to do with Vanille?"

"Who?"

Lightning could only watch in shock as Hope continued into the room, greeting everyone and acting like everything was ok.

I see what you're doing, Hope... Trust me, it's not gonna work...