Phase 4; Reactions to a...a...complication?

I woke up to a feint beeping.

I sat up, glancing around, my gaze stopping at the large elegant bouquet of roses next to my bed. I leaned over and turned it around searching for a card. It was plain and said 'get well soon - Adrien' in times new roman font. There was no indication of customization or care. Seemed like Adrien.

I dropped back down into the bed and rolled over only to come face to face with a little stuffed sock monkey. It held a little box of chocolates in its lap and attached to its ear was a little card. The card didn't say anything really; it just had my name on it in flowing writing.

No 'From' or anything.

I decided the only thing left for me to do now was eat and wonder where I was exactly. So, I opened the chocolates (pleasantly discovering they were swiss) and popped one in my mouth. A few moments later the door opened slowly and Johnny came in. I popped another chocolate in my mouth and sat up again, feeling a slight twinge in my lower back. I dismissed it as pain from lying in bed for too long.

"Hey." He greeted, coming to sit in a chair next to my bed. He was sullen, which was weird. He took some magazines and newspapers out from under his arm and set them down on the table. There were typical womanly things to read like Star and People, but I also noticed he had thrown in some National Geographic, Car & Driver, The New York Times, Readers Digest and 21st Century Science & Technology.

"I didn't know what you liked to read..." He began before looking at me with a serious face. That scared me slighty and I put the chocolates down beside me. I wanted to identify this new man in front of me, because it certainly wasn't Johnny. "The doc says you have...um…broken bones. He says they need to run some more tests." The twinge in my back from earlier returned as I tried to shift and a throbbing in my legs suddenly became apparent.

"Broken bones?" I asked peeking under the covers to see my legs bandaged and casted. Johnny looked like he didn't want to tell me, pity shining in his eyes. Again my lower back twinged.

"Yeah, your legs... the docs can't figure out how it happened. There was nothing on top of them or anything, you were just lying there with...two...broken...legs. There was a lower spinal injury too and uh…" he muttered the last part, obviously waiting for me to react somehow. My brain was still processing.

"So, what? No walking for me? Is it permanent or..." I asked Johnny with a little bit of hostility. I didn't like the idea of being...um…handicapped. I prayed it wasn't permanent. I silently begged Johnny to tell me that it was all some kind of, lame, immature prank of his.

"I'm afraid it may be." A doctor entered the room staring at his PDA, pretty detached from the situation. An inner fire began to blaze: how dare he tell me something like that with such a nonchalant tone. "Believe me Miss, we are doing all we can. But it's strange...the bones in your legs seem to be mending, then un-mending and your muscles are in a state of flux. It's like nothing we've ever seen. Quite fascinating." I looked at him with an obviously unamused face.

"Fascinating?" I deadpanned. I must have had one scary look on my face because Johnny turned to the doctor with his own unreadable expression.

"You should probably go..." He told the other man, who nodded before saying goodbye quickly and retreating through the door.

My soul felt heavy. You know...sometimes when something terrible happens your body feels like lead? I just felt so heavy. I moved the chocolates from the bed, placing them on the night stand next to Adrien's stupid roses. I tried to ignore it that heavy feeling, recognizing it as dangerous, but maybe it just...didn't sink in.

The room was silent and Johnny just watched me, his hands clenched together, as I shuffled through the reading material, taking out National Geographic, Car & Driver and The New York Times(which had the picture I sent Adrien on it...gee...I wonder how that got there. Note the sarcasm.). I glanced through Star, ripping a Toblerone ad out and putting it on the night stand, making my shopping list. Hey, I only had one box of chocolate. After this I was going to need more.

A good few minutes passed of numb silence passed. I was in pain though. More emotional than anything else...it caused a dull throb in my heart.

"Who all is awake?" I asked Johnny meeting his eyes. He gave me a weak smile.

"Just you and I so far...the doctors say Reed is showing signs of being awake within the next few hours. Everyone is stable." I frowned. My muscles and bones were acting irregularly and the doctor calls that 'stable'. What does he know anyway? That impassive jerk and his PDA. I couldn't help but think bitterly.

I nodded though. Glancing over to where the large beige blinds were, I briefly wondered where we were. I voiced it and Johnny explained that we were in quarantine at one of Victor's top medical facilities. He then went over to the window, opening the blinds to reveal rolling snow covered hills.

"Let's get some light in here." He said.

"Killer slopes." I commented lightly, although deep inside I longed to hike up to the highest peak or snowshoe...yeah, snowshoe was good too. I also pictured myself sipping real, melted-chocolate coco in my thick Carlton U sweatshirt. I suddenly felt the urge to be warm and cozy; guess you always wanted the things you couldn't have.

"Yeah." Johnny came back to sit at the foot of my bed facing the window. We were quiet again but this time I was sure it was a comfortable silence. "It's going to be okay, Nikki. Victor has the best medical specialists here...they'll figure out what's wrong and you'll be up and politely running in circles for everyone again...like always." I stared at him and he looked back with a smile. "What? You didn't think I never noticed did you? You helped my but get through Mr. D's physics courses and you were constantly doing favors. Internally loathing it but not saying a word. From what I hear from Sue; you haven't changed..."

I was quiet. Was running in circles for people really a problem? Johnny made it sound like it was...but I've always done it so I assumed it was alright. Never mind the fact I hated it: at least I was useful. I noticed I was always doing things for other people and keeping any reservations I had bottled up. I was very passive aggressive, sticking to neutral and polite comments when irked. In fact, I realized, the first time I had gotten truly mad in years was my argument with Adrien a few weeks ago.

A nurse came in then, rolling in a wheelchair before leaving again.

A wheelchair...my wheelchair.

There, it finally sunk in.

I felt like I was going to cry so I once again picked up my chocolates and began to eat. A few tears slipped out. What if they couldn't fix it? What If I could never walk again? I could never drive my cars again. I could never go snowshoeing or hiking with my sister or chase my nephews around the house. I couldn't swim in the ocean, or go for a jog or even just get up stairs! I couldn't walk away from Adrien when he was ticking me off. I couldn't do anything I usually did! I had tried not to think about it but now...now-

Another thought slapped me. Hard. I was alone. I had to face this alone. No one was going to care!

My frantic thoughts were cut off by someone pulling me into a hug. I began to release heavy, uncontrollable breaths in an effort to calm myself but I only ended up crying harder. Johnny...A hand was gently running up and down my back while the other held me toward him.

I was completely collapsed, sobbing uncontrollably and hiding in Johnny's arms. I must have been a real sight.

"It's going to be okay Nicole. I'm here."

XxX

The next day I was allowed out of bed and the nurses helped me get ready and get into my wheelchair. It was...weird. The nurses helped me figure out how to properly wheel myself around which was not rocket science...but it did require quite a bit of upper body strength. They had to also give me a strong dose of pain killers. The pain in my lower back was easily irritated by the way I had to lean forward slightly in order to wheel around.

To my quiet surprise Johnny spent the day with me; he took me outside to a garden, we ate at the restaurant and spent some time going through the halls looking for our rooms. For an entire day he was mature; he didn't make me mad once. In fact, he was slightly charming. I nearly forgot about our rocky past and all the dislike I had for him seemed to melt away. We found Sue's room and Johnny made sure to locate Ben's room; apparently the doctors had told him the big guy would be up and about soon. Walking around. It hurt me a little to realize that I probably couldn't do these things (wandering the halls and going outside) alone anymore. I had to have supervision. The day finished with the two of us ordering room service (pizza & pasta) and watching pay-per-view movies in my room. It was 11 o'clock before Johnny left.

It wasn't until after Johnny left that I realized I wasn't sure how to get into bed on my own, meaning I had to wait up for a nurse to come in. Why didn't this place have a panic button like normal hospitals?

I was experimenting; or...trying to pull myself up onto my bed when I heard the door open slowly. I twisted my body around and came face to face with Reed. He looked cautious...and sad. Very sad. I looked back at him, trying to avoid imagining how pathetic I must look in his eyes right now.

He hesitated between leaving and staying. Just when he pulled the door open to leave I stopped him.

"Don't leave, Reed. You obviously have a reason for coming." I adjusted myself back into my chair properly while Reed slowly shut the door with a click. He walked over and I gestured to the bed for him to sit on, before realizing that I had just gestured to the area covered in DVDs and empty plates. "Uh, you might want to move that though...sorry."

I don't know exactly what I said that set him off, maybe it was me apologizing, because he got very...upset. I can't say that he was angry...although he was a little angry...and a little uncomfortable and probably a little bit dejected.

"No, I'm sorry. Nicole! I-and this and Sue..."

"Okay, whoa! Whoa! My pity party was yesterday." I snapped at him quickly before he could apologize again. "Sue, she should be fine. I'm alive, right? We're all alive, isn't that all that matters. In fact, Johnny seems better than ever. He's been tolerable lately. As for me..." I sighed, wondering whether I was trying to calm Reed down or just trying to vent my own mixed up thoughts. I didn't really know whether I was over this thing yet or if it was all just buried deep down inside.

I was quiet for too long because Reed turned to leave again. I reached out and grabbed his forearm firmly and he turned to look at me again.

"Hey," I said quietly beginning to smile at him. "Don't worry about me, okay? That's not your job, not your responsibility and this is certainly not your fault. I'll be okay so there's no need to feel the way I know you feel." Reed attempted to smile back but failed and instead nodded curtly while biting his lip. I knew nothing I said would make him feel better or make his worries all go away...but in a strange way it made me feel better. I didn't want Reed to feel responsibility for this...freak accident. It was that, an accident. Making him believe it was his fault just seemed like it would make me feel worse.

Reed went to leave and I stopped him again. I wished he'd stop doing that.

"Um...Reed? Sorry to ask this but...um...can you get me a nurse?"

"...it would be a pleasure."

"Sure it would..."

xXx

The next morning I had successfully mastered getting out of bed myself. I discovered that if I sat myself up with the right amount of force and at the right angle I could perch on the side of the bed. I could push the wheelchair up against the bed, jamming it so it wouldn't roll. Then I could clutch the armrests and lift myself down into it. The nurses present applauded my success. I didn't even need painkillers today. Miraculously, the doc had told me that the muscle in my lower back had already healed. An amazingly speedy recovery.

I was really beginning to like these nurses. They were very helpful without being annoying. Enthusiastic but very low-key and always ready for a nice chit-chat. Not to mention they helped me go pee. Total life savers. After I was all prepared for the morning I told the nurses I wanted to explore a bit on my own and received a cell number to be used in emergency.

I started by trying to retrace the day's previous route to the restaurant, but somehow got mixed up and ended up in front of Ben's room. I hesitated; wanting to check up on him before deciding that would not be in my best interests and turned to roll away. I got a few feet down the hall when the door opened and closed behind me. I heard a familiar grumbling that I immediately recognized as Ben. Glancing over my shoulder I noticed him fumbling around with his watch; not having caught sight of me yet. Maybe it would be best if I tried to sneak away...

I got a few more inches before I heard a crunching sound and I glanced down to see I had rolled over the shattered remains of a hand mirror. I was glad at that moment for the steel wheels, imagining how the glass shards could have punctured a rubbed wheel.

"Nicole?" I glanced over my shoulder at Ben.

"Hey, Ben, glad to see you up. Did you see Johnny yet? He was pretty keen to greet you when you were awake." Ben still seemed to be in a stunned silence, so I sighed in response and clumsily rolled back around to face him.

"Ben? Something wrong?" I knew what was wrong, but I wanted him to feel like it was no big deal. I had that same feeling as when I had talked to Reed last night. I didn't want people to feel bad because of what happened to me. That would just make me feel worse.

"I-" He looked at a loss for words; staring at me with a hopeless mix of pity and bewilderment. He stuttered for a second.

"Hey, Ben?" He looked me in the eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Don't worry about it, okay?" I said with the most genuine smile I could muster. Ben nodded a little, dumbly, walking up behind me and taking up position at the handles. He looked stone-faced, like he always did when he played 'body guard' for Reed. I wondered why. My only guess was that maybe he wanted to act in a way that made him comfortable again.

"You eaten yet?" he asked plainly.

"No." I responded. In that moment, my stomach chose to moan hungrily.

"Good, cause I need someone to show me to the food. I'm starvin'. Think you can do it?"

"Yeah, of course. I mean, I'll try. But my last attempt brought me here." I replied and he began pushing me down the hall. I grudgingly noticed even though he was walking it was 10 times faster than when I went on my own. Just sitting there gave me a little time to think.

I noticed everyone seemed to have different reactions. Johnny turned sentimental and supportive, Reed turned stricken, dazed and confused. Ben was something a little different. It was not his attitude that seemed to change...but his position in my life. Ben and I weren't what I would call friends although we were acquaintances who happened to be on good terms. Ben's reaction to my situation seemed to be an offer of friendship. An offer I greedily accepted; especially since Sue was still knocked out and Johnny had most likely run off to flirt with the nurses. Briefly I wondered what Sue's reaction would be but then decided the woman was unpredictable.

When we reached somewhere I recognized I pointed in the direction of the restaurant. We came in just as they were serving breakfast in a large, elaborate buffet. Sausages, eggs cooked in all different ways, bacon, pancakes, waffles and home fries. There were fancy fruit center pieces on the center of each table. I hadn't been down for breakfast yet; only lunch. Breakfast was, in fact, my favorite meal of the day. I rarely skipped breakfast and when I ate breakfast, I ate breakfast.

Ben wheeled me up to the buffet and we both discovered a dilemma. I was too short at the moment to properly see and retrieve the food I wanted. So Ben offered to slide my plate along the counter; saying everything he saw while filing up his own at the same time. It was a small gesture; but his patience meant a lot to me, especially where breakfast was involved. I didn't think he'd ever understand how much that meant to me.

We both finally settled on small, two-person table next to the large windows that looked out into the gardens and the mountains. From our vantage point I was able to also see a beautiful terrace, which only pointed out to me how strangely shaped the architecture of this building was. Both our plates were heaped up past the 'overflowing' point. Ben placed out plated on the table, while a nice older Latino woman moved the dinning chair away from my side of the table. We thanked her and Ben made sure I was properly positioned before taking a seat himself. We ate for a few moments before I started a conversation.

"So, you never answered my earlier question." Ben looked up, a piece of bacon in his mouth, and muttered something that sounded like 'what question?' although it came out like 'whaff kesffon?'.

I laughed.

"About Johnny. Did you see him this morning? He seemed like he wanted to see you." I had thought that strange at the time, which was why I was pushing the issue now. I was too curious. Ben suddenly looked a very irked, his brow furrowing and his mouth going into a hard line. Out of the corner of my eye I briefly caught sight of something, like a bright orange flash about half way down the mountain. I quirked an eyebrow and squinted, but didn't see it again and decided it had to have been a trick of the light. I looked back to my food.

"Oh, I saw Johnny alright and if I see him again anytime soon he's gonna find himself six feet under!" He butchered a pancake while he said this, making painful scraping noises against the plate. I clenched my teeth at the sound. He noticed and apologized quietly.

"Does this have something to do with that mirror in the hall?" I just had this ominous feeling about that mirror. It probably had something to do with Johnny. How to fix this feeling? Ah, more syrup! Yes, syrup. I poured (more like dumped) half the bottle onto my sausages and my pancakes. Ben muttered in response and I took that as a yes. I plucked a cherry off the center piece and popped it in my mouth.

After that, the conversation took a much nicer turn and we became a bit more laid back. We sipped coffee, nibbled on some frosted donuts. At one point my eyes once again slid over to the window and I caught sight of two familiar people. Sue, who I was happy to see awake, was lounging in the garden sipping what appeared to be lemonade and Reed was standing on the cement overhang; gazing out over the rolling snow-hills. Ben seemed to have noticed them too.

Ben was watching Reed with concerned eyes.

"He blames himself, you know." I told Ben after a brief silence, who turned to look back at me with a dark expression. "He blames himself for...all this," I gestured to the building then to my chair. "And you and I both know he shouldn't. I already tried talking to him...but I don't think he wants to listen to me. You know, being the responsible martyr he is. He might listen to you though." I said looking at Ben pointedly. Ben now looked a little torn between me and Reed.

"Go talk to him, Ben." I said smiling, "its times like these that he needs his best friend the most." Ben nodded, smiling back appreciatively before exiting the restaurant and heading down the hall. I sighed, a part of me longing for my best friend. Oh, Jay…I hoped Ben didn't get lost like I knew was most likely to happen to me should I venture out on my own. Now I wished I had asked Ben to find me a map or something.

Finishing off my coffee with a single gulp, I began to wheel myself out only to be stopped by the familiar sight of my personal nurse, Tanya Cloutier. I had honestly grown to adore Tanya. She was borderline adorable, with big blue eyes, thick lashes and short curly blond hair. She was short, curvy and never, and I mean never, even fluttered her eyelashes at Johnny once. Which was such a rarity that when I had asked her why she had pulled out her phone and shown me a picture of a handsome Frenchman and two little boys, who were just as adorable as she was. She had also been raised in Virginia, read the same books I did, loved Johnny Depp and before nursing school had spent her days as a mechanic on the European endurance racing circuit. Where she had met her suave French husband. She was very good at recounting stories vividly and I found her, not just adorable, but extremely entertaining. I had no doubt that after this the two of us would keep in touch.

"Nikki? The gentleman from B12 saw me in the hall said you might be in need of some help?" She asked and I secretly thanked Ben for reading my mind. I would get to my destination a lot faster this way.

"Yes, um. If it's not too much trouble could you take me down to the gardens...preferably somewhere close to Miss Storm?"

"No trouble at all."

XxX

As we came around a corner, we came face to face with Sue who was just entering the building once more. She froze when she saw me, standing there quietly. Then, she ran towards me and pulled me into a hug...babbling and crying.

Sue's reactions; grief and panic. Apparently no one had bothered to mention my state before she seen me. How unfortunate.

And scary.