"So. Bella."
Emmett's voice was as matter-of-fact as I'd ever heard it, but I wanted to shut him up before he said anything else. I knew, of course, what was coming.
"There are some things you two should know before we go hunting."
I cleared my throat meaningfully, but Emmett ignored me.
"Emmett, I warned you," muttered Rosalie as she slid into the passenger seat.
Bella and I climbed into the back seat of the Jeep behind them. I tried to distract myself by buckling Bella in. It was habit, I realized too late; but she let me do it anyhow, even though she didn't need protection any longer. She looked tiny in Rosalie's clothes, but wearing her own human-scented ones was not an option; merely being in the same room with them had roused her bloodlust. Now she stared down at her cold, white hands, and I caught one of them in my own, trying simultaneously to tune out Emmett's thoughts and to will him to stop talking by glaring at him in the rear view mirror. I knew both efforts would be futile.
"What?" asked Emmett, his profile angelic as he smiled at Rosalie. "They need to be prepared."
I saw Rosalie roll her eyes just before she turned away to stare out the passenger window. "It's your funeral."
Emmett loved it when Rosalie threatened him, and a sudden and vivid image of the two of them copulating violently next to the hulking corpse of a shared grizzly ripped into my mind.
I growled. "Will you please tell your husband to turn his thoughts down a notch?"
Rosalie stared at Emmett in horror. "Stop it!" She smacked Emmett's arm and he chuckled, starting the engine. "Whatever it is you're remembering, stop."
Now several more graphic images flooded me as Rosalie unconsciously wondered what smut Emmett might be picturing.
I covered my eyes … not that that would help.
"Aw, sweetheart, it's not like I can stop thinking about it once it starts."
She raised one perfect, threatening finger and held it near his grinning face. "If you don't quit it right now, I'm going to give you something else to think about."
"Ooo," he replied, enticed.
The images intensified.
"Please," I begged. "For my sake?"
"What are you talking about?" asked Bella, her attention finally directed to our quarrel.
"It's nothing, love," I whispered. "There's nothing to worry about." But of course her narrowed eyes let me know that she didn't believe a single word coming out of my mouth.
We sped down the highway while Emmett and Rosalie bickered. The mental images subsided as their argument escalated. In a strange way, I was thankful for their banter; it made what we were about to do seem almost normal. At least, I hoped it made it seem that way for Bella. But her eyes remained far away.
It was nearly sunset and the blue sky faded into orange over the treetops, deepening the blackness of the forest blurring past on either side. Fat, gray clouds hung low, hovering, waiting to burst. Alice had alerted us before we'd left the house, and once again she was right. There would be rain tonight. I turned and looked back at her driving my Volvo, with the rest of our family in it, behind us. A thunderstorm will be good for you, she'd said cryptically.
"He's right, though, Bella," agreed Emmett, bellowing over Rosalie and trying to bring their argument to a close. "Nothing to worry about. But I think it'd be better not to be caught off guard when – "
"Emmett," I interrupted, "isn't it possible that your experience is unique to you and Rosalie?"
Emmett's thoughts always ran like a film projector through my mind. The others – Jasper and Alice, Carlisle and Esme – were more careful with their thoughts after a private hunt. I didn't pry, because I didn't want to know. I knew part of the reason they went off in pairs to hunt from time to time was to have some privacy from my "gift," and from the acute hearing of the rest of the family. I didn't need to know the nature of their intimacy.
"Edward, Edward, Edward." Emmett shook his head. "Think about it. When we go hunting" – he meant the younger males in our family – "we always wrestle and fight afterwards. Don't we?"
True. We couldn't control it. If we were near each other after feeding, it was a compulsion nearly as strong as the frenzy to kill, almost an extension of the instinct for blood. It was … fun.
I nodded once.
"And girls are no different. Right, Rose?"
Rosalie sighed heavily and glared out the window at nothing.
Emmett went on. "She and Alice have had some knock-down drag-outs. Haven't you, poopsie?"
"Oh, for Pete's sake," Rosalie grumbled.
"She doesn't want to brag," Emmett whispered, twisting around and turning his grin on us.
"Watch the road," Bella said automatically. Then she frowned, realizing. It didn't matter whether or not Emmett watched the road; his reflexes would be quick enough to react to anything, and we could survive anything. All of us, now. I squeezed her fingers. She stared at my hand crushing hers and her mouth opened slightly. I wondered what she was thinking.
The fight in the front seat went on. It was true that the girls had had some wild fights themselves. Even Carlisle and Esme would participate every now and then – Carlisle with us, Esme with the Rosalie and Alice – though I suspected they hesitated losing control in front of us because of the parental roles they'd assumed. But I'd repeatedly seen Alice's and Rosalie's contests of strength when they'd returned from a hunt. I was awestruck the first time I'd caught a glimpse in Alice's mind, and I couldn't help ransacking her thoughts for a while, trying to make sense of what I was seeing, until it occurred to me that they were merely acting out the same aggressive games that Jasper, Emmett, and I played. I remembered feeling moderately scandalized that women might have the same sorts of urges that rough boys had, and that they might, in fact, relish the physical outlet of a clash of force.
"And it's even more intense with mates," Emmett went on. "Isn't it, sweetheart?"
"You have no sense of romance."
"Aw, you know that's not true."
They kept on arguing.
"What's he saying, Edward?" Bella asked, her eyes wide on me. "Will we … will you and I … fight?"
"No," Rosalie and I said at the same time.
Emmett chuckled. "Hardly," he said.
There was no point in avoiding the discussion any longer. The best I could do was to try to steer it in a less lewd direction. I placed a hand on Bella's neck, my thumb on her jaw, bringing her face closer to mine, and I whispered directly into her ear, even though I knew it was pointless to whisper.
"After we hunt, we might be … overtaken … by …" I struggled to find the right word, one that wouldn't sound crass. "… desire."
In the few seconds that it took me to say this, I felt myself becoming agitated, almost electrified. Need began to scream through my body like a foreboding wind before a tempest. My lips parted, wanting to capture hers, and I imagined myself ripping through the unnecessary seat belt and –
Bella pulled her ear away from my mouth, and her red irises smoldered like burning coals. She knew I wanted her. Without question, she wanted me; heady scents roiled off of her like mist over a mountain. I could only imagine what I must smell like to her. I licked my lips. Rosalie and Emmett prattled on from the front, perhaps trying to afford us privacy while I explained things to Bella. But the very air around us seemed thicker now, ominous and promising, a pledge of wicked delight.
I didn't think I would, but I smiled. And Bella smiled back. I leaned into her and my body heaved with the effort of denying myself her lips; my hand, reaching across her body, clawed five imprints into the door. Oops.
"Your eyes are red," she whispered, her own crimson eyes boring into mine.
A brief jolt shook me, until I remembered. Yes. Two and a half days ago I'd drunk human blood. Bella's blood. Of course my irises would be red now. Something about that comforted me, for her, as though my eye color matching hers would somehow make her feel less alone, less frightened, less monstrous.
I pressed my lips very gently to hers and pulled away before she wanted me to, before I wanted to. I smiled into her frustrated face and turned to face Rosalie and Emmett, who were now arguing about their last anniversary. I tried to ignore the protests coming from my insistent body. Bella's breath was harsh and cool in my ear, along my neck. I held her hand and avoided her eyes, though she made that nearly impossible.
Finally we reached the wilderness preserve. We'd have little chance of encountering hikers or campers here. Emmett pulled into a parking spot in the visitor's lot and Alice pulled in next to us.
Carlisle and Esme climbed out of the Volvo and darted up the side of the mountain quickly, ahead of us. Bella must be faster than me now; and if something happened to distract her, to make her run away, Carlisle and I both wanted as many bodies as possible already on the mountain to catch her, whichever way she went. Next Rosalie ran up the rocks and roots under the threatening sky; she, too, would wait at a predetermined location on the craggy peak.
Alice and Jasper then set about pulling out our props from the back of the Jeep and the trunk of the Volvo. With so many of us here at once, it was important to establish a believable story; to that end, we would set up tents in a clearing, just in case a forest ranger or a hiker stumbled upon us. The tents would be especially necessary – for appearances, at least – with the coming thunderstorm. Alice regaled Bella with stories of the few times we'd actually had to use the tents and gear to reinforce the façade that we were merely camping. While she chatted, I saw Jasper's dark gaze settle on Bella several times.
Jasper and Alice needed to remain close to us. He would sense a change in Bella's emotional state even before she could make the decision to run; in that sense, in this situation at least, Jasper had an advantage over Alice. I knew he and Emmett weren't thinking today of the bet they'd made months ago, about whether Bella would be able to resist the temptation of human blood; but I knew they both worried that she would weaken. Emmett had more faith in her than Jasper did, but it didn't mean Emmett was willing to let her hunt alone anytime soon, either. They feared we might not be quick enough to stop her if something went awry.
You're sure there are no humans here? asked Jasper silently as he strapped a backpack onto Alice. He glanced at me casually and I shook my head: none that I could sense within a few miles. He frowned and nodded. That would have to do.
"You ready to try out your legs?" smiled Emmett, his cheeks dimpling with enthusiasm as he shoved his car keys into the pocket of his jeans.
Bella, now even paler, didn't quite look ready for anything more frightening than hiding under the covers in our room. But she jutted her chin forward and nodded once, not wanting him to see her fear. I gave her waist a squeeze, reveling in the knowledge that I didn't have to worry about breaking a rib as I did so.
"I'll give you a head start," teased Emmett, the grin deepening.
He shot a glance at me, his rapid blinking giving away the fib, to me, at least. It was unnatural for him to lie, and we both knew it. But none of us wanted to remind Bella that she could outrun us, particularly given the way she'd tried, overwhelmed by the need to sate her thirst, to leap from the bedroom window immediately after her transformation. If Carlisle hadn't been there …
"I dare you to beat him," I whispered in her ear. "He needs to be taken down a peg or two."
Despite her trepidation, Bella's old smile graced me then, and I felt a grin blossom on my lips in response.
"Come on," Emmett goaded. "I'll run in slow motion." He started up the mountain, backwards, elbows splayed, pumping his arms and panting in mock effort like a speed walker.
Bella laughed. I felt something inside my chest swell at the sound, and I kissed her neck, not caring that my siblings watched us. Her skin felt like mine now, no longer shockingly warm, no longer tempting in all the wrong ways. It felt … natural. Tantalizing in new, unfathomable ways, but perfectly, truly right, as if she'd always been this way. As if it was somehow meant for her to be this way. I closed my eyes just before pulling my lips away and smiling at her. This would take some getting used to, but not for any of the reasons I'd thought.
She looked into my eyes, still scared, but I nodded. "It's okay. Go ahead. Trust me, you'll love it. I'll be right behind you."
But Bella didn't move. "I can … I can tell where Carlisle is," she said, her face shocked, eyes darting about as she tried to comprehend her senses. "Esme and Rosalie, too. But him, most of all. I don't know why. I can sense them."
"You can?" I tried to keep my voice even.
"Yes. I know where they are. Carlisle is … "
She turned her body north, facing the direction in which I knew Carlisle would be waiting, and held her hand out, her arm as straight and precise as a compass needle.
She closed her eyes. "I see you, too," she whispered. "The four of you."
I glanced at Alice and she shook her head. She didn't know, either.
"Carlisle's like a … a negative photograph." Bella's eyebrows knit together as she attempted to interpret what she was seeing. "He stands out in some weird way. We all do. I can't explain it. He's – we're all … " She looked down at her own body, too. "We're the opposite of – of – I don't know what. But it's clear to me. I don't know how else to say it. But I know where he is."
My eyes briefly met Jasper's, where he'd paused with his backpack on a large, flat rock. He looked apprehensive, and that worried me.
But I made sure my face was confident, encouraging, before I turned to Bella and said, "Then go to him."
She faced me then, her eyes wide, mouth open, ready to protest.
"Go," I whispered.
Slowly she closed her mouth and clenched her jaw. Turning in one fluid movement, she was gone.
Emmett and I raced after Bella, letting Jasper and Alice carry all the gear in their backpacks. As I'd suspected, I couldn't keep up with her. It was astounding how much distance she was able to put between us. I didn't like that at all, but there was nothing to be done for it.
In a few moments we stood beside her, half a mile from where we'd been before. She'd stopped right in front of Carlisle, and Carlisle was clearly caught by surprise; but the shock was quickly replaced by honest pleasure as he read the excitement in his new daughter's face.
Bella laughed out loud, her voice making music I'd never heard before, and I couldn't keep from taking her hand in mine and kissing it.
"That was incredible!" Bella gasped, beaming.
"Yeah, isn't it?" agreed Emmett.
"Holy crow, it was like flying!"
I nodded, smiling back at her, and we shared a quiet moment. I imagined us racing each other up and over the mountain, time and time again over our centuries together, and suddenly I was laughing along with her. The light and the joy in my bride's crimson irises drew me in, and I had to make a conscious decision not to kiss her full on the lips in front of my father. Bella's eyes were hypnotic to me, and again I realized how desperately I wanted her. It was difficult keeping my mind focused.
She'd have to hunt soon, for both our sakes.
I looked at Emmett and, as if reading my mind, he sat down on the ground and invited the rest of us to sit with him. Alice and Jasper quickly set up camp and then joined us.
I kept my arm around Bella's waist. The thought of not touching her was practically unbearable to me, but no longer because I needed to protect her. It wasn't even entirely because I felt incomplete without her, though that was still true. Now it was her natural allure, heightened a thousand times in death, which pulled me close. I was her moon, she was my planet, and I would orbit her forever. I smiled as I ran my thumb across the inside of my wedding ring.
Jasper spread out a map between us, which we would refer to when we reviewed everything Bella would need to know before hunting. Bella looked around the clearing, as if she were waiting for something. Her eyes fixed on the precise directions in which Esme and Rosalie waited. My eyes met Carlisle's questioning ones, and I darted my eyes to Bella. We would talk about this when everyone was with us.
"They're coming," said Bella. Alice nodded to Carlisle, confirming it. And indeed, within moments Esme and Rosalie glided into view from the cover of the forest.
Carlisle raised his eyebrows. Though he clearly wanted to talk with Bella about her awareness, to find out if it might be a gift like mine or Jasper's or Alice's, Bella was thirsty and he thought it best to talk about the hunt first. I nodded in agreement.
Carlisle reviewed everything we'd told Bella before her change, every detail about our hunting, from the best way to overtake big game to which areas in the region were least populated by hikers; and Bella nodded in understanding as she frowned over our map. We talked about how to measure distance while running, how to stay within the "safe zones," how to avoid detection by humans, and the best lies to tell in case one took us by surprise. When anxiety crept into Bella's face, Esme assured her we'd never seen a human here in this preserve. That seemed to calm her somewhat; but her hands still remained clenched into fists on her knees, and I saw fear in the tightness around her eyes.
Jasper never took his eyes off her. Alice tried to be more subtle about it, but her mental focus never deviated from Bella, either.
On my request, Bella repeated back the different ways she could destroy evidence after a kill. Now that the instinct was in her, everything made sense. Before, it was a strange and otherworldly existence, incomprehensible, as it should have been. Now, she was like an immigrant who'd finally found a handful of people who spoke her language, who knew her culture and could share it. I read comprehension on her face. She asked plenty of questions, but I could tell from the way she phrased them that she already knew the answers. Besides, I would be by her side, and the rest of the family would remain nearby, particularly Jasper and Alice.
It was comforting how naturally my family behaved towards Bella now. After she had emerged, blinking and uncertain, from our bedroom, she'd encountered varying degrees of enthusiasm and awkwardness. But now, only two hours later, it was as if she'd always been with us, always been like us. Even Rosalie's face had relaxed, more so than I'd seen in over a year. Seeing how Bella had willingly suffered for me must have purged some of Rose's anger and resentment, and I was grateful.
The discussion of hunting complete, Carlisle, keeping his voice light, spoke. "How did you know where I was, Bella, when you found me a few minutes ago?"
She looked at me and I nodded in encouragement. She swallowed. "I don't exactly know. It was sort of like I could smell you, but sort of like I could see you, too, even though you weren't near me. Esme and Rosalie, too."
Esme smiled for her to go on. Rosalie's eyes narrowed.
"And of course you four were very vivid to me, being so close, even when I didn't look at you." She meant me, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper.
Alice watched Bella carefully, but there still wasn't enough information for her to know what it all meant.
But then Bella's face suddenly darkened and, in a flash, several things happened almost simultaneously.
Jasper thought, "BLOOD." Before I could even tighten my hold on Bella she slipped from my arm and disappeared, running so fast that her form was a mere smudge of color in the trees and gone. Jasper blasted away immediately to stop her. Too late, Alice and I rushed after him. A moment later the rest of our family was behind us; they didn't know why we'd run, but they understood that something bad was about to happen.
Bella smells a human, and she wants him, Alice thought, running before me, dodging trees as lithely as a doe.
A human. My heart fell into my stomach. I smelled nothing. Neither did Alice or Jasper. Surely we'd be able to smell it by now. How could Bella catch a scent so much farther away than we could?
Alice's thoughts were terrified. She wants to feed. Jasper may not be able to catch her. But if he reaches her and she's already killed someone, he won't be able to stop himself from feeding, either.
I ran faster, pushing my body harder than I ever had before. I passed Alice, but I couldn't gain on Jasper; he'd had too much of a head start. Worst of all, I began to smell it now – the human's blood, alive and beguiling. Jasper could smell it, too. He raced faster, and in the desperate emotion of the moment even he wasn't sure whether he was trying to stop Bella or to beat her to the mortal.
And I felt my own bloodlust rising. I'd tasted Bella's blood too recently; would that weaken my own resistance? What about the rest of us?
No, no, no, I thought. Please, no.
They were still too far away from me. Jasper's form blurred as it hurtled through the trees and, far ahead of him, Bella's hair was a dark comet's tail trailing her careening body.
Please, don't let her first kill be a human. Please. Even as I begged, I ran faster; but it was useless.
I didn't have time to wonder why there was a human in the preserve. I couldn't bother wondering how Bella had caught his scent from so far away. I no longer cared whether or not I caught Jasper; he'd tasted human blood before, had already been destroyed by it.
I only wanted to stop Bella from doing what I'd done so many times.
I would call to her, but I knew it would be hopeless; I remembered what it was like. Her killing instinct was the loudest voice in her head right now. Nothing else mattered but her thirst.
The dark trees flashed past me like bars of a prison cell, and I wanted to scream. Damp, decomposing leaves beneath my feet made no sound as I flew across the forest floor. The scent of human blood began to overpower me. I felt ill. My stomach roiled, and I wondered if it were possible for a vampire to vomit from fear alone. Now I began to ascend, running up a large hill over which Bella and Jasper had disappeared.
Alice's voice penetrated me. They've stopped!
Stopped? Impossible. Not with a human so close.
I didn't slow down until I saw them.
They were in a valley. The clearing was littered with fallen trees and ferns and wet, muddy spots where yesterday's rain had collected. Bella stood still, her hand over her mouth. Jasper was just reaching her and had slowed to a walk. He seemed cautious, even frightened.
I halted where I was, halfway down the ridge, and soon the rest of my family was with me, watching Bella and Jasper below. The scent of the human – and his blood – was everywhere. I felt sick. I stood with the back of my hand over my lips.
Not twenty yards from Bella and Jasper was a scruffy-haired, bearded young man wearing an enormous cross-country backpack. Singing to himself, he hadn't heard our silent approach, and he continued making his way through the muck. His thoughts told me he'd been hiking alone for two weeks. Daylight was fading, and he figured he was going to have to find higher ground to make camp for the night and take care of his leg.
Only then did I notice that his left calf had a deep gash across it, diagonally, and it bled freely into his dirty sock. That scent permeated the wet valley. The sight of the blood made my stomach do a somersault, and suddenly I realized that it was the blood, not fear and anguish, making me feel ill. It dawned on me as I stared at his bloody wound that my teeth weren't bared. There was venom, but I swallowed it, unable to fathom attacking this man. My throat, dry and needy, refused the offering. I merely watched the young man as he climbed another rise and disappeared over it to go on living, unaware that he was leaving eight perfect predators behind him.
The man's singing faded into the distance, and the ensuing silence was filled by the sounds of nature. Birds, sounding bizarrely cheerful, called to one another through the trees. Leaves rustled in the light breeze. I heard Bella's measured breathing from where I stood.
Jasper fell to his knees in the mud next to Bella and reached for the hem of her shirt with a shaking hand. He turned and buried his face in the side of her hip. Bella, still trembling with fingers over her mouth, placed a hand on Jasper's head. He squeezed his eyes shut and clutched the edge of her shirt with his fist. His other hand ran across his mouth over and over again.
Alice ran to kneel next to him and he turned to her, collapsing into her arms with a hollow sob, his thoughts raw and helpless: It's over, it's over, I didn't want him, it's over, I can breathe again, thank God, thank you, thank you, thank you … Alice held him tightly, her face buried in his hair, relief and gratitude flooding her mind. Then she stared at Bella, and a new future began to unfold behind her eyes.
Emmett hooted with laughter, unable to suppress his excitement. He ran to Bella and spun her around in a great hug; but Bella remained stiff, bewildered, unable to hug him back. Rosalie followed and hovered near Emmett; I couldn't tell if she was about to scream or cry, but her mind, so often rigid and angry, rejoiced. Carlisle and Esme approached silently, watching Bella in awe and confusion, not touching her, waiting for her to make the first move.
Finally I crossed in front of Bella. She lowered her hand from her mouth.
"What is this?" she whispered, reaching for me. I took her hands and held them to my chest. Behind her words sat a fear greater than I'd sensed even before her transformation. Her vermillion eyes stared at me longingly, as if I somehow had the answer. Yet she seemed braced for something vast and terrible, something larger than any of us could have imagined. Perhaps she wasn't ready for any answers.
It was too late; the answers were here.
I looked around at our little group, all encircling Bella. Jasper and Alice still sat at Bella's feet, holding hands, carrying on their unvoiced dialogue of sensation and revelation. Rosalie, her eyes fierce, held onto Emmett's shoulder for support; and he crossed his arms across his broad chest, grinning in satisfaction. Esme smiled at Bella, wanting to hold her close; and Carlisle nodded, as if some unspoken riddle had finally revealed itself to him. Our family's pale, still faces almost glowed in the waning light of the deep forest. All of them knew exactly what had happened … and what Bella's power was.
With Bella, we would be the masters of our baser natures. Near her, humans would be safe. We would never want to drink human blood again.
And we would never leave her.
In the silence a soft, pattering noise began over our heads. Through the canopy of leaves, it began to rain.
Author's Note: So, this is my theory of what Bella's power will be once she's turned. I hope you enjoyed this part of the story. The next part will deal with Bella's first kill (and other urges ;)), and after that they will meet the Volturi again. If you liked this, well, you know feedback dazzles me. :D