There were many reviews which made me believe that Kazuhiko is another character in another story by another author but please don't mingle them up, the character Kazuhiko in this story is totally different and it is run on my imagination. If I knew before hand about this, I wouldn't have used the name but the story is already made too far and I feel too lethargic to go back and change all of them. Mm I hope you are enjoying the story as FFnet is not allowing to reply to any of you….

Devastating Dreams

Akihiko stood leaning on his car, with his eyes on the gate and mind occupied by his lover Misaki. He would make no delay in picking up Misaki and head home and settle everything. A glimpse of a familiar face clad in over-sized pink shirt caught his quick eyes and he focused his vision on that person, while his heart hoped that it wasn't the one.

Akihiko eyes widened in horror and fear, when he recognized that the shirt to be of someone else's but the person to be his. He didn't notice Misaki's face turning pale for being guilty and didn't feel his lover's heart getting trampled under the burden of insecurity and fear. Misaki came and stood infront of Akihiko with Sumi, a little behind him.

He opened his mouth to speak but his voice died before it could come out when he saw the hatred and anger flaring in the lavender eyes.

'Misaki whose shirt are you wearing?'

'Its not what you are thinking-'

'Answer me for what I have asked.'

'Its Kazu-san's, he gave me my new job and I went to his house and-'

'And you didn't care to tell any of these things to me, Misaki.'

'Usagi-san I was going to-'

'Misaki did you sleep with him?'

Misaki felt his heart skip a beat and blood rushed to his head. He loved Akihiko, he did everything to make the man happy, he always did things thinking over and over again if it would be alright for his lover disregarding his own feelings, and still Usagi doubted him and even asked him if he had slept with someone else whom he had just met the day before.

Misaki was thinking of doing something to prove himself, to convey his capabilities to his lover, to be strong enough for gaining Akihiko's entire trust till he gave himself to Misaki. In all those three years. had Misaki ever asked Akihiko about his past, had he ever questioned if the man had slept with someone before he had had been with Misaki, had he ever doubted Akihiko if he was the one whom he loved with his all his heart and soul.

Before Misaki could think straight and act like himself, act like how he had acted in those years, he slapped Akihiko rudely. The sound of it reverberated in the silent atmosphere. Tears rolled down Misaki's cheeks as he knew he could never take back what he just did. He trembled when he saw Akihiko touch his reddened cheeks with his shaky hands and blinked looking at the ground. It was the first time ever Misaki had raised his hands and his heart survived painfully, heavy with repentance and guilt to think that he raised them on someone whom he loved and who loved him.

'Usa…. Usagi-san I didn't… I am '

Gulping down the bitter taste and sour feel of humiliation and hurt, Akihiko looked at Misaki. His eyes were red and tired of holding back the tears. Akihiko was speechless as his mind and heart denied to function properly and his every breath chocked with sorrow and grief.

'Misaki get in the car.'

Akihiko spoke with broken and trembling voice and got into the car. He waited for Misaki as the other was still standing outside.

Sumi watched everything and he amazed himself when he wished for his friend and his secret crush to get together again like before. He knew it was not the right place to discuss anything. He walked towards Misaki and opening the car, he pulled the other inside. Akihiko silently thanked the man whom he despised and disliked and drove his car to his home. He tried hard to drive safely to home without thinking about what had happened but still the disturbing truth kept on bugging him.

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It was already evening and they hadn't spoken a word yet. The silence prevailing in the house was alien. Misaki looked outside as the wind grew stronger and colder. There was not even a single star twinkling in the dark sky and it was pitch black. The hissing sound of the rustling of gigantic trees indicated there could be a summer shower at night. Misaki watched the clock as time passed on, he couldn't decide about the right thing to do and approach his lover to apologize. Something in him was whispering to him that what he had done was not that wrong and he should wait for some time.

The wind grew fierce and came gusting through the open window, scattering away all the light things that were kept on the table. Misaki rushed when he saw the manuscripts of Akihiko's latest novel whirling in the air and on the floor.

'Hey Usagi-san catch them they are your work.'

Akihiko didn't care and sat silent on the couch with his back on Misaki and smoked. Picking up every page and shutting the window, Misaki went to the brooding man and spoke.

'What is the matter with you, why aren't you talking with me?'

Akihiko didn't reply and rubbed the glowing butt of the cigarette on the ashtray to burn it out.

'Hey I am talking to you.'

'Misaki you haven't answered my question yet.'

'Which question?'

Misaki looked puzzled as Akihiko folded his arms and faced Misaki with cold eyes. The violet eyes looked frozen in the dimly lit room and Misaki could feel something eerie and chilly run down his spine.

'Did you sleep with that man?'

Misaki gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. The wind blew again and he felt a thunder striking his hammering heart.

'What do you think Usagi-san? Can I do something like that?'

'To tell you the truth Misaki, I don't know and will not know till you tell me.'

They both were looking on the floor, both afraid to look into each other's eyes, both scared to reveal some mystic truth in their violet and emerald labyrinth.

'No I didn't Usagi-san.'

'Why did you visit his home, Misaki?'

'The studio where Kazu-san does his photography is located at the ground floor of his house and that's where I will work.'

'For how many days have you been working?'

'I will start from next week.'

'Misaki do you love me?'

The sudden unusual question made Misaki hold his breath till the rapid drumming of his heart in his ear and chest subsided. He went stiff and the heavy air suffocated his lungs. He had said those words many times to Akihiko during the past three years, and even in his worst nightmare he didn't dare dream Akihiko doubting his love and affection.

'Yes I do.'

Misaki said as a volcano of anger and pain erupted in him. The sobs and tears bubbling in his throat were begging to come out but Misaki chained them with the shackles of his self-control and pride. He wouldn't cry for such a selfish question and for such a heartless man. He wouldn't shed tears for a man whom he loved so much and instead of which he received so much pain and misery. He would not show his tears to him, who didn't care for his feelings.

'But Misaki I can't feel it anymore.'

Misaki felt his legs wobble and his head spinning when he heard Akihiko said those words with an unsteady and helpless voice. He vision blurred, all he could see was darkness and he was petrified and terrified to face Akihiko and look into his lover's eyes.

The rain started falling down along with the rain which showered in Misaki's and Akihiko's heart. Misaki couldn't feel anything except the numbness of his soul when Akihiko opened his mouth again.

'Misaki I love you but this keeps up, I won't be able to love you anymore.'

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