We all have something we wish to wake up to such as the sound of birds chirping, the smell of a finely made breakfast, and of course the best of them all absolutely nothing. Now if you're confused by what i mean when i say that dear reader allow me to elaborate basically the BANE of any peaceful sleeper is either that stray bit of sunlight that just seems to be aiming RIGHT for your eyes or of course THE DREADED TYRANT KNOWN AS THE ALARM CLOCK! So when i say absolutely nothing i mean that you do not awake from your peaceful glorious slumber until YOU yourself are good and ready. Of course though by now you might be thinking to yourself "What is this nut job going on about?" and to that i say KEEP YOUR CURIOUS LITTLE PATOOTIE PARKED RIGHT THERE AND WE WILL GET WHERE WE'RE GOING!...I'm sorry.
Aaaaaaaanyways as we move past whatever THAT was we look towards the sunny yet empty skies of Nowhere the MIDDLE of Nowhere to be precise where as the sun shines down upon this vast and near empty plain we see that it is in fact NOT empty and actually does miraculously house something ironically enough part of it is indeed a house. But not just any house mind you oh no THIS house is the farmhouse of Courage the cowardly dog and if you do not know of whom that is...do ya EVEN know what it is you are reading dear reader? because if ya don't then my god i gotta know how ya ended up here to begin with. Regardless of your possible AMAZING misdirection or just simplistic GOOF as we look towards the farmhouse of Courage the cowardly dog we find ourselves moving past the front door, up the wooden steps, through the second floor hall, and into a pretty nice bedroom as far as bedrooms go. It's nothing TOO special in the ways of royalty or the likes of a fancy hotel but still when you've had a rough day and just feel like crashing down onto a nice soft inviting bed this is indeed the most perfect bedroom for you.
But alas i bet now it has finally entered your minds the question as to why we are for some reason rambling on and on and on about mornings and sleep and a bunch of other nonsense instead of getting to the story you came to read right? Well it's simple really dear reader for IF you have indeed read the previous chapters which i hope you have otherwise nothing makes any sense or at the very least not as less as it could be then you for a fact know that Courage is NOT the only resident now within the farmhouse. And so the reason for my nonsensical ramblings as well as just delay from the ACTUAL material you came to see is all due to the fact that after the newly arrived roomies of Courage two of which he is still unaware of for he passed out just as they arrived did as much cleaning and maintenance as possible within the hours of the day that were left those said two arrivals as well as one established arrival put him to bed. However as the three who tucked him in and ensured that after the day and past days he's had he would have a peaceful slumber a certain underground dwelling creature sneaked into his room and snuggled into the bed.
So now ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, friends, Romans, gladiators, and spectators of all shapes, sizes, ages, orientations, and locations we now go to Courage as he begins to awake from his slumber.
"...*YAWN*..." Courage sounded as his mouth opened wide and released a heavy breath followed by the gentle smacking of his lips.
After not only yawning but also doing the routine smacking of the lips Courage not fully realizing where he was, how he got there, and overall just being oblivious to the series of unknown events which led to this point began to rapidly blink his squinted eyes in an attempt to adjust to the sunlight which poked through the bedroom's curtains. Sadly though as this proved to be non effective Courage then did the full proof way to fix ones vision which was rub his balled up paws on his eyes until every manner of moisture, crust, and other obstacle was removed so that he could see clearly. But as he began to pull his paws away from his face and look around the room he soon came onto a sight that peaked his curiosity. At the foot of the bed which is where he usually slept there seemed to be some unknown brown ball just sitting there.
Unsure as to why it was there as well as HOW it even got there Courage after wiggling from underneath the covers got on top of them and began to walk over. Upon reaching the ball Courage wanting to inspect it as anyone would put his paws on either side of it to which he made a terrifying discovery. This ball although appearing smooth from a distance was actually covered in fur and upon having touched it a head sprouted from the other side, turned to look at Courage, and upon doing so revealed itself to be none other than Weremole.
I think it's pretty obvious as to what happened next.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Courage screamed as his eyes popped out of his sockets and rolled onto the floor with his tongue following them right after by flopping out of his mouth.
(Note: We here at the lone lobster insurance agency would like to remind all readers this is a work of a fiction based on a work of fiction by no means should you attempt to try these amazingly awesome feats at your own abodes because otherwise you'll wind up in a biggest fails of the month compilation almost certainly).
Whilst Courage screams upstairs at the sight of Weremole right before his eyes why don't we dear reader rewind time EVER so slightly and venture down into the kitchen to see what was going on there? why you ask? because i'm the writer and you're the reader so YOU ARE AT MY MERCY!
"Ah~" Katz pleasantly sighed as he sipped his morning cup of tea it having been made with a drop of honey to make it especially delightful.
Like every other villain Katz had his own little things he would do besides being a very orderly and sadistic individual things like drinking tea to soothe his nerves whenever he felt a bit TOO irritated, listening to classical music, and if things got REALLY bad or boring find some random person and have them "play" with his sweeties. But surprisingly this wasn't one of his emergency stress relief moments and so he just preferred instead of scorching hot coffee a nice refreshing tea as his wake me up. With that being said though after a few seconds passed he was about to go in for another sip of his tea when someone suddenly slapped the back of his head.
"...I hope you have your affairs in order..." He calmly spoke as his eye began to involuntarily twitch preparing to unsheathe his claws and grasp at the culprit's throat.
"Well normally my affairs match yours but i suppose we haven't gone over them in quite some time so there might be some differences." The voice of his sister Kitty replied causing his eyes to widen.
"Kitty?!" He asked turning to face her "Why on earth did you slap me?!" He added shocked that his own sister would assault him.
"Call it a safe bet." She answered before taking the seat across from his "So after we put Courage down for bed and me and Bunny went to our own room i got to thinking about the story you told us." She began whilst taking the tea kettle from the table along with an empty cup "And it made me realize something VEEEEEERY interesting." She continued slowly pouring the tea into the cup.
"Oh?" Katz asked unsure as to where she was even going with this.
"You see i noticed that at the VERY beginning of that little story you all seemed to be in the process of hurting Courage in some way." She clarified causing him to freeze "And even if i'm misunderstanding YOUR particular part in the whole thing big brother there's still the obviousness that is everyone else in this farmhouse excluding myself and Bunny of course has at one time or another tried to end Courage's life." She explained as she finished pouring her tea "And so by this when i learned thanks to that story you have apparently been with these individuals for some time that gives me reason to believe that you as well have made your fair share of attempts to kill him." She finished setting down the kettle gently as she did "Am i wrong?" She asked.
Feeling as though the devil himself was looking right at him Katz even though he kept his collected image intact beneath the surface of that exterior he was screaming bloody murder. For if you think that Katz and his ways are devious as well as awful you do not even wish to IMAGINE what Kitty is like when she is undoubtedly furious. And given we've already seen her bash Courage in their first encounter to near death with an assortment of objects where she was clearly upset imagine HOW furious she must be with her brother as of now to where she is hiding it so well in such a calm demeanor.
"I'm waiting for an answer big brother." Kitty said coldly as she took a small sip from her cup.
Trying his best to think on the spot of some explanation or even just a temporary dodging answer to her question Katz sadly found his normal suave and quick intellect failing him all the while he couldn't pry himself away from her analyzing gaze. Thankfully though whether it be due to a guardian angel behind him or simplistic universal writer's timing (*wink wink*) as he was about to attempt at some poor excuse an all too familiar scream rang through the air.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Courage screamed as like a bolt of lighting he suddenly zoomed into the kitchen at break neck speeds hiding under the table as he did.
"COURAGE?!" Kitty asked both surprised at his sudden appearance and state as well as the incredible speed at which he arrived "What's wrong?!" She asked looking at him.
Sadly although Kitty DID get her answer it came in the very form of the problem itself as Weremole suddenly came into the kitchen obviously having followed Courage. But of course even without the snarling, growling, and overall demeanor in which Weremole conducts itself it's very appearance alone was unnerving and since Courage was already terrified beyond belief that was i guess you could say the last bit of "oomf" needed to pull the pin from the grenade.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" He screamed once more before bolting from beneath the table and out the backdoor.
"Courage wait!" Kitty shouted as she got up from her seat and went to the backdoor only to find a very rapidly disappearing Courage as he ran off into the distance.
"I swear by whatever godly power lies within the heavens that you people have no sense about what you are even doing..." Katz groaned as he pinched the bridge of his nose whilst closing his eyes.
"Rawr..." Weremole sounded sadly as they weren't trying to scare Courage in the first place.
You know you'd think that with his current condition of not having a proper meal rotation in quite sometime as well as just in general being pretty unhealthy Courage couldn't do much. But as we know Courage ain't like other dogs who run on bones, meat, and water no no no instead Courage is purely fear fueled so even if he was nothin but bones in the desert one wrong look from a scorpion and you can be rest assured said bones would be rattlin their way through the sands. However much like every other time when Courage is utterly terrified beyond belief he wasn't really paying attention to where he was running and so he failed to see the small shack on wheels before him until he collided face first with it.
"OOF!" He sounded as he bounced back slightly from the semi powerful collision rubbing his head as he did.
Looking up at what EXACTLY caused him to cease in his fear fueled dash across Nowhere Courage was surprised to see it was none other than Shirley the medium's mobile cart.
"Huh..." He sounded once more whilst scratching the side of his head a bit surprised to see her just kinda out here for some reason.
"Who's there?" The voice of Shirley called out no doubt as a response to the impact which had just occurred a few moments prior.
Before he could even move or make a sound such as a greeting Shirley poked her head out of one of the cart's windows looking down at him as she did.
"Oh it's you." She said with a bit of surprise in her eyes but no real change in tone of voice "What are you doing here?" She asked as she looked him over "And why do you seem so...different?" She asked a bit curious as to his current status of health.
Looking down at himself Courage was a bit surprised to see that he had actually lost a decent amount of weight to where although it wasn't showing all the time his ribs on a full release of breath definitely could be made out. The reason of course dear reader if you are confused as to why he's surprised at this is very simple remember that he has amnesia correct? well that means he doesn't remember not really taking care of himself all too well after...well ya know. But anyways as Courage was about to return his focus to her a sudden voice from within her cart causing chills to go up his spine.
"My dear miss Shirley could we perhaps continue our session?~" It asked it's tone smooth and silky with a very unnerving amount of familiarity to it.
"Right i am sorry." She said looking over her shoulder to respond before turning back to face Courage "I am sorry but i am with a client right now perhaps later we can catch up?" She asked.
"Mhm!" Courage responded a bit excited to catch up with Shirley.
"Good well then goodbye Courage." She stated as she began to pull her head back in.
"WAIT!" The voice from before exclaimed bringing those same chills back "Did you just say...Courage?..." It asked.
Before either Shirley or Courage could say/do anything the door of the cart slowly opened and an all too familiar figure began to creep out from within. Dressed in the attire that gave him nightmares for weeks on end complete with that same horrifying smile was none other than the one person Courage feared more than any in all of Nowhere...Freaky Fred.
"OH! what a WONDROUS surprise this is!" He exclaimed as he clasped his hands together "Here i am attempting to make contact with dear aunt Muriel and who should i find right outside? why the precious pup Courage!" He added excitement and joy laced in each word.
Of course though as you could imagine dear reader upon seeing possibly the most unnerving son of a gun he's encountered Courage simply froze in place...well not exactly froze he was shaking like a rattlesnake's tail but you get what i mean. Anyways as Courage could do nothing but groan in anguish as Fred made his way closer with slow careful steps the situation only became worse as he began to speak in RHYMES!
"Oh the joy that courses through my soul~" He began as he drew closer "For what was once my heart was now a hole~" He continued getting closer "At the thought of being all alone~" He continued almost upon Courage "But now i have someone for whom i will show~" He continued now right in front of Courage "That even with control i cannot help~" He paused as he reached into his jacket "Being...Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuughty~" He finished before extracting his razor from the jacket's inner pocket.
Uh huh...yup...ladies and gentlemen it has just been confirmed by Houston we have lift off.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Courage screamed before bolting back from whence he came.
"Oh my~" Fred mused as he tucked away his razor "It seems the precious pup is headed back to the farmhouse~" He said with a chuckle "Thank you for your time madam Shirley."' He spoke before taking a ten dollar bill from his pocket and handing it out to her "And please by all means keep the change." He added.
Slowly but surely taking the bill from his hand Shirley then watched as Fred followed after Courage but instead of running or sprinting after him he simply went with a leisurely stroll which not only didn't set well with her but something else coming from the same direction in which he was headed that unnerved her as well.
"Something is definitely not right..." She said as she tucked the money away into her cloak "I must check for myself..." She decided before going back into her cart and closing the window.
"Oh i hope he's alright..." Bunny spoke worried as she paced back and forth.
"Yall REALLY need to stop scarin that dog." Cajun commented as he chopped up some fish with his cleaver "I mean yesterday he nearly got ran over by a car because of Weremole and Queenie and now thanks to Weremole yet AGAIN he's taken off to who knows where." He added before returning all of his focus to the fish.
"I would not worry about ze little doggie." Le Quack stated as he put a hand to his beak "If anything all zhis running is very healthy no? get's ze blood pumping and ze muscles toned." He explained.
"That only works if he's got something to BURN." Queenie replied with an eye roll "But as of the moment if he keeps up all this running he's going to be nothing but bones..." She added the thought of coming across Courage's bones ironically enough being very displeasing to her.
"Ah don't yall worry." Cajun said as he patted the top of a large pot "The moment that dog shows up again we're gonna sit'em down and feed him my good ol' fashioned gumbo which is sure to get him in tip top shape!" He assured.
And as usual whether it be due to an actual guardian angel or just godly writer powers (*wink wink*) the moment Cajun said that Courage came bolting into the house.
"Courage you're back!" Bunny exclaimed relieved to see he was alright.
However she wouldn't get a response from him for the second he had entered the house he began running through it several times and coming back each time he brought with him a different object to barricade the door with the size of the object increasing each time.
"HEY HEY HEY!" The object he was currently holding suddenly shouted.
"Huh?" He sounded looking up to which he saw Big Toe in his grasp.
"Where's the fire dog see? and why are you takin us to it see?" Big Toe asked getting a collective "Yeah!" from the other toes.
Surprised that he not only grabbed Big Toe by accident but also was able to somehow lift him Courage set him down carefully on the ground before explaining.
"NDSKFJQWKJFBQJBFQ KJQEWFJKQWKJBFKJQWB LEWFQJEKQBFKBKLEQ!" He shouted in his usual panicked gibberish whilst also changing shape to give a visual aid of what he was trying to say.
(Note: if there ARE actual words that are the gibberish he speaks than i apologize for this butchery but even so i tried my best to slowly sound out the gibberish to MAYBE give it some proper spelling to which i just couldn't so yeah sorry bout that.)
"What is it boy Timmy stuck in the well?" Cajun asked before bursting out in a fit of laughter to which everyone glared at him with their hands on their hips "...Geez no sense of humor..." He muttered as his laughing was brought to an abrupt end.
"I'm afraid we don't understand you dear boy." Katz stated as he held out a cup of tea "Perhaps a sip of this will calm you down a bit hm?" He suggested.
Sadly though before Courage could even try the tea a sudden knocking at the door caused him to yelp in shock before diving under the table.
"Now who could that be?" Katz wondered as he set down the cup and left his seat to investigate.
Also curious as to whom would be at the door the other villains with Kitty and Bunny in tow followed Katz to the front door completely ignoring the fact that Courage seemed to hide at this sudden occurrence. However as Katz reached the door and opened it everyone inside much like how Courage reacted felt themselves freeze as the sight of Freaky Fred filled their vision.
"Hello there~" He mused giving a slight wave as he did "I don't mean to interrupt any sort of activities you might've been engaged in but i was hoping if i might be able to see my precious pup?" He asked until a sudden bit of motion caught his eye.
Looking a bit past the group Fred saw that Courage was trying to sneak away via the backdoor and this is something he could not allow.
"Oh Courage~" He called causing Courage to freeze like the others "I think you and i have some unfinished business~" He mused before reaching into his jacket.
"LOOK OUT THE GUY'S PACKIN!" Big Toe shouted.
"Wait...what?" Fred asked with his smile still present as without warning everyone tackled him to the ground.
Watching the mass of bodies begin to struggle and squirm Courage nearly jumped to the ceiling as there was a sudden tap of his shoulder.
"Come it'll be safer with me." Shirley stated before walking out the back door.
Unsure as to how or even when Shirley got behind him Courage taking one last look at the chaos ensuing within the living room quickly decided she was by FAR his best choice and definitely the safest so of course he followed her to her cart. Upon entering said cart Courage took a seat at her table whilst she of course took the seat opposite from him.
"So." She began intertwining her fingers as she did "It seems things have changed greatly since we last saw one another." She commented.
"You got that right." He replied slumping in his seat a bit.
"Tell me where is Muriel and the stupid one?" She asked unsure as to how the farmer couple could be okay with what was happening.
"I dunno i'm pretty sure they've kidnapped them but i don't know where they're keeping them..." He answered looking down sadly as he did.
However before he could get too lost in his own emotions and worries about Muriel he felt his paw suddenly be taken by Shirley's causing him to look at her.
"Do not worry then i will help you find them." She said causing his face to light up.
"You mean it?!" He asked a little surprised by the gesture.
"But of course you have helped me as much as i have helped you it is only fair that i help you...free of charge." She explained looking away slightly with that last part.
"Ooooooooooh thank you!" He exclaimed before pulling her into a big bear hug.
Caught off guard by the sudden action Shirley felt an uncontrollable blush come to her face also due to the unexpectedness of this just remained somewhat limp as he hugged her. And so as Courage hugged the subtly blushing Shirley and Fred is stuck underneath a mass of bodies the formerly quiet and peaceful farmhouse has just officially lost all hope of EVER regaining said peace and quiet.
Alright alright alright alriiiiiiiight and THAT ladies and gentlemen is IT! no no no no NOT the end of it all unbunch those knickers i mean that is basically the wrap for the main cast we will be seeing throughout most of these chapters as well as just the overall coverage of what is going on...generally speaking of course...ANYWAYS so there's no doubt a few QUESTIONS everyone might have in mind so let me just get those answered before we wrap up.
1. Yes if i had to say what my headcanon for this show was given i've never even considered to make one for this show before it would have to be CourageXShirley mainly because EVEN AS A LITTLE KID I WAS LIKE huh...she's like...the only other dog whose almost EXACTLY like courage...they must be friends or somethin...but anyways this doesn't mean this story is gonna turn into a heavy romance thing but OBVIOUSLY expect there to be some exploitation of such for comedic purposes.
2. Yes Shirley IS aware of Muriel and Eustace being dead hell Fred had gone to see her in hopes of contacting Muriel but with her being the super awesome amazing badass medium she is she can tell that something (besides EVERYTHING) is wrong with Courage so she just went along with the notion she as well has no idea where they are so she can figure out what's going on for herself
3. You might not be wondering this because i figured it was kinda self explanatory but as to how all the villains were suddenly up and about is because well ya know Courage DID run down the stairs screaming bloody murder and what not.
4. although i dunno if it was made clear or not yet i guess it should be made clear as of now so there isn't any questioning about it in the future but basically Kitty and Bunny see themselves especially as time goes on kinda like mother figures to Courage same goes for Queenie so expect there to be some funny stuff coming from that as well as something i have planned for the Weremole but hey gotta keep some secrets am i right?
Anyways i think that's all the major things that needed to be clarified so now that THAT'S out of the way until next time you beautiful sexy peoples PEACE!