A/N: All the usual will be said in the next chapter when I'm not using this pesky library computer... for more details see the update on either of my other stories...
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When Loki awakens again, he is on the Avengers' helicarrier, surprised at the fact he is awakening at all, as well as the fact that he is not shackled hand and foot – but any questions as to why evaporate as he sees Thor looking down at him, concern written in those blue eyes despite everything he has done, including killing the Thunderer and more recently almost killing one of his mortal friends, but Loki feels too wrung out emotionally to find it within himself to even feel scorn for Thor's still surviving affection towards him, and he falls back asleep, physical injuries taking their own toll on him.
He awakens again to a heated argument in the next room between Thor and the other Avengers, as well as the head of SHIELD. They are debating his fate, but he cannot bring himself to care when across the room from him lies the mortal he had nearly killed earlier, still too weak to breathe on his own.
Pushing himself to his feet, Loki walks over, perching on the side of the medical cot and traces a gentle hand over the now unmistakable features that rest before him.
He does not know how he did not recognize the mortal sooner, because now that he thinks about it, there are so many similarities between the two incarnations of this one soul that it is in retrospect painfully obvious – and that is not even counting the fact that they look practically identical.
Tony Stark does not seem to share his counterpart's ability to reach a conclusion from seemingly insignificant details in the way that Sherlock Holmes did – he does not bear what the detective had called his curse – but that same gift, that same attention to detail and brilliant mind are what has made him the brilliant inventor he is in this life.
They share that same heartbreaking willingness to sacrifice everything for those they have chosen to protect, despite the fact that both are so reclusive and hard-to-understand, the world considers them arrogant. They share the same incessant drive to know, to experiment – and live with the same burning passion in all facets of their lives… and though when he had executed his plan to take Ironman out permanently, Loki had not realized who he was…. for the first time Loki knows the truest meaning of regret.
He rests his hands gently on the mortal's chest, vaguely wondering as he feels the warmth seep through the thin fabric of the hospital sheet and into him, if the mortal will ever remember what they shared in another life…. because though in the process of being reborn, mortal souls are stripped of their memories, if there was one soul that could defy that rule, it would have been him. Yet his hopes are quickly crushed by the fact that he cannot possibly have a chance with the mortal after what he has done to him today, and though he cannot ever stop loving him, he knows that Tony Stark should hate him, both for the havoc he has wreaked on this realm and the pain he has subjected him to….. and though Loki feels that for all this he deserves nothing better, it still hurts.
Driving away the weight of his emotions he begins to whisper again, knowing he will not be able to do this for long with his own injuries weakening him, but still needing to do something to help heal the mortal, and he keeps at it until he again collapses from exhaustion again.
Loki is vaguely aware of Thor walking back in, filled with defensive anger that is not directed at him this time, as he gently
scoops Loki from the floor, cradling him almost as if he is fragile – as if he truly is the Aesir's younger sibling, not an adopted monster, while he calls over his shoulder, no doubt to the people he has been arguing with: "If this is not proof of his intentions, what is?".
He awakens fully when Thor sit by his side, gently brushing the hair from his face, telling what he assumes is an unconscious Loki hat he has missed him, that he always loved him….. that he is sorry….. and that last statement hurts more that Loki can bear, because he does not want love or forgiveness now that he has committed this last unforgivable crime …. he is not worthy of any apology…. and in an effort to escape the pain, he lets himself slip back into sleep.
But even there he cannot find peace –because he dreams of the death of Sherlock Holmes – and the near-death of Tony Stark…. because suddenly it is he who has the mortal strung up by a hook thrust though his shoulder while he pulls at him and revels in his screams of agony, and he who has caused his death….. Subjectively he knows it is not true, that was Moriarty, but after this day, Loki knows it makes little difference because he has done the same….. and the nightmares only get worse from there.
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