Chapter 4. And the rest of the world

"Have you seen Jeff?" Clay asked the baseball player at the next table (Harry? Henry?) in the library as he waited for Jeff. Five minutes (typical Jeff) had turned into fifteen which had turned into thirty.

"Dude, you didn't hear? He got into an accident Saturday night," Harry or Henry replied. "Coach told us about it yesterday."

"How bad is it?"

"Not sure," Harry/Henry replied. "I know he had brain surgery and his face is messed up. You're Clay, right? A couple of guys are going to the hospital this week when we get the all clear from his mom. I think Jeff would want you to come." Clay nodded and gave Harry (turns out it was Harry), his number. "Catch you around."

Clay sat at the table and stared at his phone. Jeff had been in the hospital for 2 whole days and he hadn't known. He had spent all of Sunday and Monday beating himself up for hurting Hannah and trying it figure out exactly what he had done. He wasn't very experienced and was (it he was going to be honest with himself) very self conscious about that. Maybe she'd figured that out and didn't want to be with him? He'd dreaded facing Hannah.

Then last night everything had changed. He still didn't know what had happened Saturday night and that made him apprehensive but when they kissed last night it was like champagne bubbles of happiness. He hadn't been able to sleep, filled with the possibility and hope that just maybe she liked him too. Clay had spent all morning grinning like an idiot and daydreaming through class. Mr. Bradley had had to call his name twice to answer an algebra problem. His only thought about Jeff had been how much flack he would catch.

The bell rang, jolting Clay from his thoughts. He grabbed his lunch from his locker and headed outside, looking around for Hannah. He spotted her sitting alone at one of the tables.

"This seat occupied?" he asked.

"It's all yours unless you're going to study for algebra," she replied cheekily.

"No algebra today. Just lunch with a pretty girl," Clay tried and then winced at how horrible that sounded. Hannah's giggle at his lack of smoothness was cut off by the real world.

"When you get tired of Jensen, wanna give me a call?" someone called from the table behind them.

"Hey Jensen, heard you scored with Hannah," came another voice.

"Ignore it," Hannah said softly, terrified that he'd believe them. 'Please don't believe,' she willed silently.

"Hey Jensen, you know where she's been?"

"Wanna get out of here?" Clay asked. Hannah nodded. He picked up his lunch box as she packed up hers. He took that as well and then after a pause, held out his hand. She looked into his eyes and took it. They held hands as they exited the courtyard to the tune of whistles and cat calls. It felt radical, them against the world.

"You know it isn't true, right?" she asked cautiously as they sat down on some steps by the side of the school, away from watching eyes.

"It doesn't matter to me" he replied though a bit of relief slipped into his voice and he hated himself for it.

"It does matter to you," she challenged. "Don't tell me it doesn't." He shrugged helplessly and covered her hand with his.

"I don't want it to," he admitted. They sat in silence for several minutes, avoiding eye contact. Clay knew he should say something reassuring about what had just happened in the courtyard with all those people but he couldn't. He had always been invisible, someone people neither liked nor disliked. For the most part, he was incredibly surprised when people knew who he was. He didn't know how to react to it. "Jeff was in an accident," he said quietly, changing the conversation.

"What happened?" Hannah asked, slightly grateful for the change of topic.

"I don't know but he's in the hospital." He picked at his food. "Sorry, it's been on my mind."

"He's your friend." Hannah tried to think of other people she would call Clay's friend. He was friendly with many of the other students. She couldn't think of anyone who disliked him but she didn't know anyone else who were really his friend. Tony...maybe? Then again, other than Clay and maybe Tony, she didn't really have friends at school either. Cat had moved so far. They talked once a week, down from every day. She missed her friend desperately but she didn't know how to bridge that distance. "Sorry," she said, realizing she'd been quiet for a while. "He's your friend, of course you're worried about him."

"I saw him right before he took off and he said he was fine." At that moment his phone buzzed. "It's Harry, apparently Jeff's woken up but he's still out of it. The baseball team is visiting him Thursday after school if all seems ok."

"You should go."

"I don't know if he'd want me there."

"You know he would."

The bell rang at that moment and Clay stood quickly. "I'll text you later," he said and walked off.

"Got a quickie in? You that fast Jensen?" a voice called after him as he walked back through the courtyard to get to the parking lot and his ride. Clay did another un-Clay-like thing and raised his middle finger at the voice. He kept moving.