Title: So Much For the Afterglow
Author: Courtney
Email: courtneystovall@yahoo.com
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Mine . . . all mine!!! evil grin Oh, but I stole the title from a kickass song by Everclear.
Category: Jake/Hamilton
Summary: It's just before fall semester begins and Jake discovers she has bigger problems than hiding her gender.
Distribution: Required Reading, of course; and anywhere else, as long as you email me to let me know and keep these headers with the story.
Author's Notes: This was originally the start of an X-Files fic but I changed it around a bit to conform it to Jake and Hamilton because, frankly, I suck at writing Mulder and Scully. Oh well . . . sigh.
Thanks: To Jean, for beta reading this. Thank you, thank you, thank you! And to everyone else who keeps writing YA fic; you're going to end up saving my sanity if we never see the show again so thanks!
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Part 4
Just as the sun was coming up on Sunday morning, Jake woke with a start. It took her a second to realize that she'd been crying; another second to realize that she'd been having a nightmare of some sort. She didn't remember any of the details; just that whatever she'd been dreaming about it had her pretty upset.
When she moved to sit up she felt a pair of arms tighten around her waist. Hamilton . . . of course he'd never left. She turned slightly to look at her boyfriend. He was still sleeping, pulling her close by mere instinct. She smiled. He was always trying to protect her.
About that time, Hamilton started to wake up. He looked up to see Jake smiling down at him and he gave a sleepy grin in reply. "Good morning," he greeted her sluggishly.
"Barely," she replied. "It's only about six o'clock. Sorry I woke you; go back to sleep. I'm just gonna run to the bathroom and I'll be right back," she assured him.
"No, I'm coming with," he insisted.
"Hamilton . . ." she started to protest.
"Jake . . ." he replied in the same tone. "Come on, I need to go anyway," he told her. She finally shrugged and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. He crawled out behind her and held onto her hand until they reached the door. Once in the hallway, they walked close to one another until they reached the bathroom.
Jake retreated to one of the stalls and Hamilton did the same. "You're not . . . um . . . sick, or anything . . . are you?" Hamilton asked through the thin, pressed-wood wall that separated them.
"What? Oh, no," Jake replied. "Not everyone gets that I don't think. Plus, I think it probably takes a little longer." He didn't reply. She heard the toilet flush next to her and saw his feet as he exited the stall.
When she came back out into the bathroom, he was staring blankly into the mirror. She walked up behind him and laid a hand on his shoulder. "You okay?" she asked softly. His eyes met hers in the mirror and he nodded.
"So, how long anyway?" he asked then.
The question caught her by surprise. "How long?" she repeated.
"Yeah, you know, how long," he said again.
"Oh . . . um, I'm not sure. Definitely no more than five weeks, obviously." It had only been a little over a month since their first time. God, was that all? It seemed like forever ago. Had it only been a matter of weeks since the first time? Could it really have only been a few months ago that she first laid eyes on him? It seemed to Jake as though she'd been seeing him in her mind forever . . .
"It could have happened the very first time," he said thoughtfully.
"Yeah," she replied. "I suppose it could have."
"It doesn't really seem real, does it?" he asked. He met her gaze in the reflection again and smiled sadly.
"No," she shook her head in reply, "it really doesn't."
"I'm sorry that I let this happen, Jake," he told her as he reached back to grab her hand.
She pulled gently on his hand to spin him around to face her. "Don't . . . it's not your fault," she assured him.
"I'm supposed to protect you . . ." he said in protest.
"No, Hamilton, you're not," she said. "You aren't my bodyguard; you're my boyfriend. There's a difference, you know. Just because you love me doesn't mean that you have to be my watcher every second of every day. Bad things happen. People make mistakes and have lots of things to get over. And no matter how bad this seems, it's just another one of those things. And we will get over it," she said surely.
He looked at her then, admiration glowing in his eyes. "You're an amazing woman," he told her. "And I know you're right; it's not my job to protect you from everything that might hurt you. But, as your boyfriend who loves you more than his own life, it's what I want to do. I don't ever want you to get hurt."
She smiled at his sweet words. He really was as close to perfect as she could have hoped for. She wrapped her arms around him for a tight hug. "Thank you," she whispered in his ear.
"For what?" he whispered in return.
"For loving me too much."
* * * * *
It was the last Sunday before school started back and, though most of the students were now back on campus, they were all likely to opt to sleep in one last time before their summer ended. So, at just after eight in the morning, Jake and Hamilton seemed to have the quiet halls of Rawley Academy all to themselves. Hamilton held fast to her hand as they walked into the deserted library.
"What exactly are we doing here anyway?" she asked him as he led her over to one of the leather sofas to sit.
"Talking . . . being alone," he said.
"We could do that in my room," she reminded him.
He shrugged. "I thought we could use a change of scenery. Besides, this place is just as quiet. And no one is going to be in the library on the day before school starts back."
She nodded. This was true, after all. And he was right about them needing a change of location. The walls of her room were starting to feel like they were closing in on her. It was much better to be in the spacious library in the company only of the books and Hamilton.
He was still holding one of her hands and he reached down to grasp the other as well. She turned to face him and for a moment they just watched each other, trying to decide where in all this to even begin. "So . . ." he said softly.
"So . . ." she repeated.
"We have a lot to talk about," he told her.
She nodded. "I guess so."
"What do you want," he asked forthright.
She turned her eyes skyward as she considered the question, then met his gaze again with a small sigh. "You know, I'm really not sure at this point. I have no idea what I want."
"Do you want to have a baby? Are you . . . are we . . . ready for that?"
"I just don't know," she replied. "I feel like I can't be sure of anything anymore.
"Well, I'm sure that whatever you decide, I'll stand by you," he assured her. "But it's ultimately your decision."
"I know . . ."
"Does anyone else know about this yet?" he asked.
"Just Bella," she told him. "I told her Friday . . . right after I found out."
He nodded. "So, I guess the next thing we need to do is get you to a doctor. She can probably help us find one . . . and maybe drive us."
"Yeah, she already said that she would. She called someone for me on Friday. I have an appointment on Tuesday afternoon," Jake said.
"I'm going with you," he said definitely. She nodded again, glad that he had offered.
"What about your mom? Are you going to tell her?" Hamilton asked.
"I'm not sure . . . that's going to be a really tough thing to tell her," Jake said. "I mean, she'll understand, I'm sure, but . . . well, I just hate to disappoint her. I feel like I work so hard at everything so that she'll notice me and then . . . oh, I just don't want to have to tell her how badly I've screwed up." She sniffed lightly as her eyes flooded with fresh tears.
Hamilton moved closer and put an arm around her shoulder in comfort. "I'll come to New York with you if you want . . . we can tell her together," he offered.
She smiled through her tears and replied, "That's sweet . . . but I think it's something I have to do alone. I'll just have to tell her . . . eventually."
"You just need a little time," he assured her. He knew how much Jake loved her mother. And, no matter how busy and scatterbrained her mother could be at times, Hamilton could tell how important Jake was in Monica Pratt's life. She'd help her daughter through this without a moment's thought; he was sure of that.
Jake cried a little, but managed to get herself under control fairly quickly. She was so sick of crying. At least Hamilton was still there, though. She thanked God that he had been so supportive; otherwise she wasn't sure what she'd have done.
"You hungry? We can go into town and get some breakfast," he suggested. "We can even stop at the station and talk to Bella while we're there."
"Yeah," she agreed, "that sounds good. I haven't talked to her since Friday night; I'm sure she's getting worried."
Hamilton rose from the sofa and offered her his hand, then they walked together out onto the quiet campus to head towards town.
* * * * *
Author: Courtney
Email: courtneystovall@yahoo.com
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Mine . . . all mine!!! evil grin Oh, but I stole the title from a kickass song by Everclear.
Category: Jake/Hamilton
Summary: It's just before fall semester begins and Jake discovers she has bigger problems than hiding her gender.
Distribution: Required Reading, of course; and anywhere else, as long as you email me to let me know and keep these headers with the story.
Author's Notes: This was originally the start of an X-Files fic but I changed it around a bit to conform it to Jake and Hamilton because, frankly, I suck at writing Mulder and Scully. Oh well . . . sigh.
Thanks: To Jean, for beta reading this. Thank you, thank you, thank you! And to everyone else who keeps writing YA fic; you're going to end up saving my sanity if we never see the show again so thanks!
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Part 4
Just as the sun was coming up on Sunday morning, Jake woke with a start. It took her a second to realize that she'd been crying; another second to realize that she'd been having a nightmare of some sort. She didn't remember any of the details; just that whatever she'd been dreaming about it had her pretty upset.
When she moved to sit up she felt a pair of arms tighten around her waist. Hamilton . . . of course he'd never left. She turned slightly to look at her boyfriend. He was still sleeping, pulling her close by mere instinct. She smiled. He was always trying to protect her.
About that time, Hamilton started to wake up. He looked up to see Jake smiling down at him and he gave a sleepy grin in reply. "Good morning," he greeted her sluggishly.
"Barely," she replied. "It's only about six o'clock. Sorry I woke you; go back to sleep. I'm just gonna run to the bathroom and I'll be right back," she assured him.
"No, I'm coming with," he insisted.
"Hamilton . . ." she started to protest.
"Jake . . ." he replied in the same tone. "Come on, I need to go anyway," he told her. She finally shrugged and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. He crawled out behind her and held onto her hand until they reached the door. Once in the hallway, they walked close to one another until they reached the bathroom.
Jake retreated to one of the stalls and Hamilton did the same. "You're not . . . um . . . sick, or anything . . . are you?" Hamilton asked through the thin, pressed-wood wall that separated them.
"What? Oh, no," Jake replied. "Not everyone gets that I don't think. Plus, I think it probably takes a little longer." He didn't reply. She heard the toilet flush next to her and saw his feet as he exited the stall.
When she came back out into the bathroom, he was staring blankly into the mirror. She walked up behind him and laid a hand on his shoulder. "You okay?" she asked softly. His eyes met hers in the mirror and he nodded.
"So, how long anyway?" he asked then.
The question caught her by surprise. "How long?" she repeated.
"Yeah, you know, how long," he said again.
"Oh . . . um, I'm not sure. Definitely no more than five weeks, obviously." It had only been a little over a month since their first time. God, was that all? It seemed like forever ago. Had it only been a matter of weeks since the first time? Could it really have only been a few months ago that she first laid eyes on him? It seemed to Jake as though she'd been seeing him in her mind forever . . .
"It could have happened the very first time," he said thoughtfully.
"Yeah," she replied. "I suppose it could have."
"It doesn't really seem real, does it?" he asked. He met her gaze in the reflection again and smiled sadly.
"No," she shook her head in reply, "it really doesn't."
"I'm sorry that I let this happen, Jake," he told her as he reached back to grab her hand.
She pulled gently on his hand to spin him around to face her. "Don't . . . it's not your fault," she assured him.
"I'm supposed to protect you . . ." he said in protest.
"No, Hamilton, you're not," she said. "You aren't my bodyguard; you're my boyfriend. There's a difference, you know. Just because you love me doesn't mean that you have to be my watcher every second of every day. Bad things happen. People make mistakes and have lots of things to get over. And no matter how bad this seems, it's just another one of those things. And we will get over it," she said surely.
He looked at her then, admiration glowing in his eyes. "You're an amazing woman," he told her. "And I know you're right; it's not my job to protect you from everything that might hurt you. But, as your boyfriend who loves you more than his own life, it's what I want to do. I don't ever want you to get hurt."
She smiled at his sweet words. He really was as close to perfect as she could have hoped for. She wrapped her arms around him for a tight hug. "Thank you," she whispered in his ear.
"For what?" he whispered in return.
"For loving me too much."
* * * * *
It was the last Sunday before school started back and, though most of the students were now back on campus, they were all likely to opt to sleep in one last time before their summer ended. So, at just after eight in the morning, Jake and Hamilton seemed to have the quiet halls of Rawley Academy all to themselves. Hamilton held fast to her hand as they walked into the deserted library.
"What exactly are we doing here anyway?" she asked him as he led her over to one of the leather sofas to sit.
"Talking . . . being alone," he said.
"We could do that in my room," she reminded him.
He shrugged. "I thought we could use a change of scenery. Besides, this place is just as quiet. And no one is going to be in the library on the day before school starts back."
She nodded. This was true, after all. And he was right about them needing a change of location. The walls of her room were starting to feel like they were closing in on her. It was much better to be in the spacious library in the company only of the books and Hamilton.
He was still holding one of her hands and he reached down to grasp the other as well. She turned to face him and for a moment they just watched each other, trying to decide where in all this to even begin. "So . . ." he said softly.
"So . . ." she repeated.
"We have a lot to talk about," he told her.
She nodded. "I guess so."
"What do you want," he asked forthright.
She turned her eyes skyward as she considered the question, then met his gaze again with a small sigh. "You know, I'm really not sure at this point. I have no idea what I want."
"Do you want to have a baby? Are you . . . are we . . . ready for that?"
"I just don't know," she replied. "I feel like I can't be sure of anything anymore.
"Well, I'm sure that whatever you decide, I'll stand by you," he assured her. "But it's ultimately your decision."
"I know . . ."
"Does anyone else know about this yet?" he asked.
"Just Bella," she told him. "I told her Friday . . . right after I found out."
He nodded. "So, I guess the next thing we need to do is get you to a doctor. She can probably help us find one . . . and maybe drive us."
"Yeah, she already said that she would. She called someone for me on Friday. I have an appointment on Tuesday afternoon," Jake said.
"I'm going with you," he said definitely. She nodded again, glad that he had offered.
"What about your mom? Are you going to tell her?" Hamilton asked.
"I'm not sure . . . that's going to be a really tough thing to tell her," Jake said. "I mean, she'll understand, I'm sure, but . . . well, I just hate to disappoint her. I feel like I work so hard at everything so that she'll notice me and then . . . oh, I just don't want to have to tell her how badly I've screwed up." She sniffed lightly as her eyes flooded with fresh tears.
Hamilton moved closer and put an arm around her shoulder in comfort. "I'll come to New York with you if you want . . . we can tell her together," he offered.
She smiled through her tears and replied, "That's sweet . . . but I think it's something I have to do alone. I'll just have to tell her . . . eventually."
"You just need a little time," he assured her. He knew how much Jake loved her mother. And, no matter how busy and scatterbrained her mother could be at times, Hamilton could tell how important Jake was in Monica Pratt's life. She'd help her daughter through this without a moment's thought; he was sure of that.
Jake cried a little, but managed to get herself under control fairly quickly. She was so sick of crying. At least Hamilton was still there, though. She thanked God that he had been so supportive; otherwise she wasn't sure what she'd have done.
"You hungry? We can go into town and get some breakfast," he suggested. "We can even stop at the station and talk to Bella while we're there."
"Yeah," she agreed, "that sounds good. I haven't talked to her since Friday night; I'm sure she's getting worried."
Hamilton rose from the sofa and offered her his hand, then they walked together out onto the quiet campus to head towards town.
* * * * *