Ch 4
Andros let out a breath as he reluctantly stepped out of the shower, reaching for a towel and wrapping it around his waist. He wished that it could have lasted a little longer, but he had already been in for almost an hour and had determined himself to be clean within the first fifteen minutes. The drumming of the water against his skin had been nearly hypnotic and he had found himself with his eyes closed, just standing there. And for that length of time, he was able to escape from his memories of the past two years, instead allowing his mind to go blank for the first time in his life.
But Andros knew that he was really just stalling before he had to go to the bridge to meet the other rangers. His head ached at the thought and he quickly shook it out of his mind, focusing on what he was doing now.
He walked over to the sink, wiping away with his hand the steam that had clouded the mirror above it. Many months had gone by since he had been brave enough to study his reflection and he hadn't made much of an effort ever since…
Andros closed his eyes as he fought through a sudden wave of nausea, fearful that he'd lose the battle as he swallowed hard and leaned over the sink. I can't keep torturing myself like this, he thought with a sigh as the moment of sickness passed. He lifted his head and stared at the man that stared back at him.
And it was a man that stared, though a stranger to him now. He brought his hand up to his face, running his fingers along the long, thin scar that formed a jagged band across his forehead that disappeared into his hair.
Andros let his fingers drift from the pink scar to his hair, running through it once to the ends of it. Even though it was wet from the shower, his hair still seemed to him much darker than it had been before. He drew his hair into his hands, attempting to ring out as much water as he could into the sink. He tried to remember how long it was supposed to be as he allowed the wet strands of hair in his hand to fall limply onto his shoulders. He was almost positive that it had never reached so far down his back before.
He shrugged and decided to deal with it later, unsure if he would be able to go through with cutting it, his attention now focused on his complexion. He had noticed the patches of skin on the back of his neck and on his back that were still discolored and raw, most of them having been freshly ripped from his body. He looked down at his hands, turning them over and back, wondering if he had always been so pale.
Andros looked back up at his reflection and stared for a moment, suddenly allowing the memories to overwhelm him again, unable to put them aside any longer. He replayed his capture in his mind over and over, frowning into the hazel eyes looking back that had long since lost whatever remaining life that had been left in them.
How could he have allowed himself to be captured like that? And for so long? He tried to figure out a way that he could explain to the other rangers his subservience to the Cromians, abandoning every attempt at an explanation that made him seem weak.
"But I am weak," he muttered through gritted teeth, tightly gripping the sides of the sink. It hadn't been a new revelation for him, but he had never said it aloud before.
Somehow it was more depressing to hear it aloud, even knowing how many times he had repeated it to himself in his mind. He had allowed the Cromians to break his spirit, convincing himself within the first year that he would never be rescued. Andros had held out hope as long as he could, working on an endless number of escape plans. But by the end of the year, Andros had gained no freedom and had begun to grow weary of the punishments for his efforts.
Andros sighed sadly and pulled himself away from the mirror. He walked from the bathroom to his bed, lifting up the sheets on his bed to get to the drawers underneath. He pulled out the drawer and removed his gray uniform and red shirt, staring at them as he held them tightly in his hands. If he made the decision to put them on, he would become the red ranger once again, the leader of the Astrorangers.
Andros continued to stare at the uniform. He wasn't strong enough to lead a new team. After all, the others had died under his leadership, so what would be different this time?
Nothing will be different, he decided and tossed the uniform onto a nearby chair. Besides, there was no guarantee that they would want him to lead them anyway. They didn't even know him.
Andros stooped back down and rummaged through the drawer. There had to be something else he could put on.
-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-
"So, what happens now?" Andros heard someone say as he slowly walked down the corridor towards the bridge. He had regretted not taking the Megalift, opting instead to explore the ship a little and take the long way there, his ankle throbbing with each painful step.
"What do you mean?" he heard Zhane ask.
"Do we ask him now or should we wait until he decides on his own?" a different voice asked. Andros stood next to the doorway, his back to the wall.
"Are you spying, Andros?" DECA asked quietly, making him jump. He brought a finger to his lips and continued to listen, having missed Zhane's reply.
"Well, I guess you're right," a female voice was saying. "If he isn't ready, then he might feel like we're pushing him into it."
"He'll do it," Zhane assured them. "Besides, he's the Red Ranger. He can't really say no."
Andros lowered his head and sighed, wondering if he should ask DECA what they were talking about, but the discordant sounds of the Megaship's alarm interrupted his thoughts. Andros lifted his head, waiting for information from DECA.
"What is it, DECA?" Zhane asked urgently.
"Ecliptor is attacking Angel Grove," DECA informed.
"Let's go," Zhane said to the others, heading from the bridge to the jumptubes. "DECA, make sure you tell –"
But Zhane stopped in his tracks when he saw Andros, silenced by what his best friend had chosen as his current attire. He wore a dark red long-sleeved button down shirt, its black buttons buttoned up to his neck, and black pants. Dressed this way anywhere else, Andros might be making the statement that he was going out on a date, but Zhane decided that he'd laugh at him for that later. Right now, Zhane understood the statement Andros wanted to make now.
"So, you've decided then?" Zhane asked more sadly than Andros had ever heard him speak.
"Yes," Andros said firmly, ignoring the hurt reflected in Zhane's eyes as he focused instead on steadying his voice. "I have."
Zhane sighed softly. "Are you absolutely sure?"
"Yes." Andros' voice wavered a bit and he hoped that he sounded as sure as he felt.
"Well, we've got to go to Earth," Zhane said, suddenly remembering the alarm and following the others past Andros and to the jumptubes. "Don't decide for sure yet. We'll talk when I get back, okay?" He waited until Andros nodded before morphing and disappearing with the rangers into the jumptubes.
But there wasn't anything left to talk about, Andros had wanted to say. He had had two years to make this decision and he was fairly content with it. Giving up his morpher wouldn't be the easiest thing for him to do, and he knew it wouldn't be any easier on Zhane, but it was the only thing left to do now.
Andros sat down at a console with a sigh and looked around the bridge. For one moment, it felt as though he had never left at all and everything was as it had been… just he and Zhane, waiting for Dark Specter's next attack and the next time they could return to their people. Andros stared down at the console in front of him and sighed again.
There's nothing else to think about, he convinced himself silently. The other rangers had been killed under his leadership, not to mention the countless Karovan lives he had failed to protect. He was sure now that he'd be making the right decision.
He traced around the buttons of the console with his finger, wondering how long he would have to wait. He had never thought to time any of his battles before, although he knew that DECA would probably know. But they had only been gone for two minutes, which was not a very reasonable time for defeating any monster, especially one as powerful as Ecliptor, he thought as he caught something move out of the corner of his eye. He swiveled his seat around and faced the short robot that began shuffling toward him.
"Hello, you must be Andros," it said, surprising Andros that something so inferior-looking could actually speak. "My name is Alpha and I have something for you."
Alpha opened his hand and held out Andros' fixed morpher. "There was an awful lot to fix, but it should be better than new now," Alpha said proudly.
Andros looked at the morpher, tempted to hold it once more, but held his hands in his lap and looked back to Alpha. "Thank you, Alpha," he said uneasily. "But I won't be needing it anymore."
"I'm not sure I understand," Alpha replied. "Do you mean to say that you've chosen not to be a Power Ranger anymore?"
"Yes, Alpha," Andros said, turning away from the robot and the morpher. "There's no place for me here anymore."
"Of course there is," Alpha assured. "There's always a place for the Red Ranger. You're the undisputed leader of the Astrorangers. The team is not complete without you."
"They seem to be doing just fine without me," Andros said quietly, unsure if he really felt as hurt about that as he sounded.
"That's not true at all," Alpha said. "The rangers have only scratched the surface of the powers at their disposal. Powers that cannot be used without your help."
"I can be replaced," Andros said pointedly. "There are plenty of Red Rangers out there who still have their powers, not to mention the rangers-in-training. It doesn't have to be me."
"Andros, listen to me," Alpha said quietly. "There's a reason that you were chosen to be a Power Ranger. Besides, Zhane mentioned that you've been using the Megaship to look for your sister."
"My sister is dead," Andros said quietly, looking down at his hands. He hadn't meant to say it, but once it had escaped his lips, the words immediately struck at his heart. Although he had no evidence that Karone was dead, thirteen years of searching had revealed no clues as to her whereabouts or whether she was still alive.
"Well… where will you go?" Alpha asked.
"Wherever the Rebels are, I guess," Andros said, turning back to face Alpha.
"But no one knows where the Karovan Rebels are, not even the neutral planets," Alpha explained.
"The rangers-in-training have to learn to train on different planets, so their ship must be somewhere. They should know where the Rebels are." He was determined to leave the Astro Megaship one way or another.
"They left for KO-35 over a year ago to retrieve supplies for the Rebels, but they never returned," Alpha explained. "No one knows where they are either."
"Then… I'll live with the Neutrals until the Rebels are found," Andros said, grasping for the nearest idea that came to him.
"Why don't you think it over, Andros," Alpha suggested, placing the morpher on the console in front of Andros. "Just because leaving feels like the best thing for you, it doesn't mean that it is."
"I was just thinking the same thing about staying," Andros muttered as the robot toddled away from him and out of the room.
He stared at the morpher in disgust, now frowning at the thought of holding it again. He was sure that if Alpha had placed it in his hands he would have thrown it to the floor. Why should he want to stay? He didn't know these new rangers and he didn't really want to know them. He just wanted to go home.
The only problem now was, where was home? Even if the rangers managed to stumble across the Rebels, what would his family and friends say once they found out that he had quit… again?
Andros sighed deeply and reached for the morpher, stopping himself right before he could touch it. He needed a better reason to stay than what others would think of him. He wasn't sure that he wanted a reason to hold it again.
"DECA," Andros called out, "Bring up the fight on the viewing screen."
"On screen now," DECA said.
Andros turned to the screen, immediately met with an image of each ranger being attacked by Ecliptor's sword. Several burn marks and slashes were visible on their suits from what were probably more brutal attacks from the fight. Andros sighed deeply and placed his hand on the morpher, closing his eyes.
"One more time… old friend," he said softly.