Chapter 3

"Okay Klaus," I told myself. "Don't panic. Kitchen fires are common in households." The smoke alarm then went off. Hayley cried louder.

"It's okay Hayley!" I shouted, trying to yell over the alarm and her crying. "It's just smoke and possibly fire. Easy to fix. All we need is a fire extinguisher which is probably in the kitchen which I can't go to because your dad let his boss transplant my brain into a stupid fish body!" I then looked at the cup on the table beside Bessie. I looked at the kitchen and saw it ablaze. I had no time to lose!

Quickly, I leapt from my fishbowl into the cup. I pushed on the tabletop with my fins, making me go wherever I pleased. I felt like a disabled person in a wheelchair.

"Oh yeah! I'm moving now! This is so much better then my fishbowl!" I looked at Bessie. She's probably dead but I hopped on her just to be sure. Yep, she's dead all right, I don't feel her breathing.

I then looked into the kitchen. The fire was spreading. My eyes widened.

"Yikes! I better get moving!" I hopped down to the floor, grabbing the rims of my cup. I headed to the kitchen, hearing Haley's cries. I looked at her.

"Don't worry Hayley; it's going to be all right!" I went in, still hearing the crying Hayley.

I checked all of the cupboards for a fire extinguisher. No luck. I hope it's not in a place where I can't reach. I was about to call the police, when I saw it underneath the sink.

I grabbed it and tried to lift it. It was too heavy! Drat; if I was human, I could easily lift it. I then realized something; even if I could lift it, I wouldn't be able to operate it because the instructions would be in English, which I can't read, double drat!

I decided to call the fire department. I went back into the room where Bessie and Hayley were. Since the phone was on the wall, I jumped on a stool and tried to get it down with a broom.

"Come on, come on!" The phone came down. I picked it up and dialed 112. I then looked at the writing, trying to make sense of it.

I took too long because the phone started beeping. Triple drat! I was in a pickle. What's a fish to do?

I decided to just get Hayley and myself out of there. I dropped the phone and hopped to the floor. I scooted to the wailing one- year old.

"Okay Haley," I told her. "Come on. Come to Klaus. I'm your freund. We're going outside where it's safe. This is no place for a one-year old. I have no idea how to call for help so we got to watch the house burn down to the ground I guess." Haley looked at me and just kept crying. I sighed and started dragging her by the diaper.

Now, I felt pretty stupid pulling a baby by the diaper, but it was the only way that I can get her out of there. Fortunately, she was only one so I didn't have to work my muscles too much. We were almost to the door when Hayley stirred and reached out for something.

"Ellie…Ellie!" She whimpered. I looked at her.

"What?" I asked, tightening my grip on her.

"Ellie…Ellie!" She repeated. I looked at what she was trying to reach for. It was the stuffed elephant with the chewed-off ear.

"Oh, you want this?" I grabbed the elephant with my free fin and gave it to her. She hugged it. I smiled. She reminded me so much of Adie.

I snapped back into reality when I remembered the fire. I then looked at the note that Stan left and grabbed it as well. I dragged Hayley to the door.

Suddenly, a piece of the ceiling fell down, blocking our path. I led Hayley another way when another ceiling piece blocked our path.

I went faster while dodging debris. My heat was pounding. I made it with Hayley just as the biggest part of the ceiling blocked the door. We were safe!

I paused to catch my breath. I looked back at the house and looked ashamed. Stan is going to hate mien guts more then ever now. Francine will never talk to me. They'll think I did arson and once they find out Bessie is dead; they'll accuse me of murder as well.

Now, I don't know about how Americans arrest people or if they'll be crazy to arrest a fish for that matter. I'm a dead fish either way. I'll never return home to my family in Germany now. I won't be able to tell my family 'Ich liebe dich.' (I love you). I began to weep again.

I felt a hand on me. I looked up. It was Hayley. I smiled at her.

"Kla- Kla!" She said with a smile.

"At least you're safe." I told her.

I then heard sirens and turned around to see a fire truck approaching. It stopped by the house and about six to seven fire fighters hopped out. Some got hoses and began spraying out the fire.

"Who in blazes called the fire department?" I asked out loud to myself. I then saw a hairy blond man pick up Hayley. I quickly let go and looked up at him. Who is he? One of the Smith's neighbors? I think I remember him from yesterday.

"How did you escape the fire little one?" He asked.

"Ish; ish!" Hayley pointed down to me. I smiled nervously.

"I don't believe it." He looked around. "You must have a babysitter somewhere."

"Hey!" A firefighter piped up. "There's a lady sleeping in there!" Two of the firefighters went in with a stretcher.

"Aha!" The blond man said. "I knew you had a human babysitter looking after you!" The firefighters came out carrying Bessie in the stretcher.

"She's dead!" One of the firefighters announced. "We checked her pulse and she's dead!"

"Then how…?" The man looked down at me again as I handed him the remote. "No, no, this can't be. A fish can't be a responsible babysitter like in The Cat in the Hat, right? She must've walked out on her own." He looked at the note. "I better call the Smiths about this!" He picked me up and went inside his house.

That night, we were on the news. Hayley and I were going to stay at the man's house until the Smiths came the next morning. They just landed when we called.

"I am standing in front of a burning house that belongs to Stanley and Francine Smith." A lady reporter reported on TV. Behind her were the firefighters hosing out the fire on the Smith house. "Where a strange, unusual thing happened. The Smiths' one-year-old daughter, Hayley Smith, escaped unharmed…but she wasn't alone. It wasn't a human that escaped with her but the Smiths' newest family member…. their pet goldfish. Now Hayley did have a babysitter, Bessie Applebaum, but she tragically died in her sleep police believe. We talked to neighbor Andy Hoffman for the story."

''I don't know what happened." Andy admitted on screen. "I saw the two together and I asked myself. A fish? Come on; there's got to be a realistic explanation for this. She must've walked out on her own."

"And how did the fish get out?"

"I don't know; I don't have all the answers." She took back the mike and looked back at the camera.

"And there you have it ladies and gentlemen. I am Jennifer Schnitzler reporting live for Fox 9 news. Back to you Bob."

"I still don't believe it." Andy said, eating a potato chip.

When it was Hayley's bedtime, Andy scooped her up. Hayley grabbed me before he took her to his room. He put some blankets in a bin and tucked Hayley in.

'There!" He said. "Nice and cozy! Now, you sleep well." He noticed me. "Oops! Don't want to sleep with the fish; you may accidently knock him out of his cup." He took me away. Hayley began to cry.

"What is it? Is it the elephant? Is that what you want. I bet it is. I'll go get it." He was about to stand when Hayley shook her head.

"Ish; ish!" She wailed. Andy looked at me.

"Well, okay." He set me down; farther away so she wouldn't accidently knock me down. He put me on a blanket. He stood up and went to get ready for bed. Hayley cried again, only this time the man didn't hear.

"Poor Hayley" I said, going over to her. "You probably want a lullaby, don't you?" She kept on crying. "Yeah you do." I then began to sing the German lullaby that I used to sing to Adie to get her to sleep: Brahms's Lullaby.

"Lullaby and goodnight," I began. "With roses bedight With lilies o'er spread is baby's wee bed. Lay thee down now and rest, may thy slumber be blessed. Lay thee down now and rest, may thy slumber be blessed"

The lullaby might've been in German, but that didn't seem to bother Hayley. As soon as she heard me singing, she ceased her tears. She then slowly closed her eyes and went to sleep. I did the same.

The next morning, I awoke to the sound of Stan's car. Andy was on the couch, reading the paper and drinking coffee. He put down the newspaper and set down his coffee to answer the door. Stan and Francine came in.

"How was your trip?" He asked them. They glared at him. He laughed nervously. "I'll go wake Hayley." He went to the room where she was sleeping.

Stan and Francine looked at me next, both looking mad. I waved my fin at them. I dropped it when I realized that it was no use.

"So you really hate us that much that you went and burned our house." Stan said.

"I didn't burn the house down." I admitted. "The oven caught on fire."

"We had to give up our trip and come in on the next flight. I was supposed to work yesterday, but Bullock gave me time off to go to Vegas with Francine. Now I have to work tomorrow because I'm here again."

"I'm sorry."

"Oh, I bet you are! You also killed Bessie Applebaum."

"I did not! She died while she was sleeping. I think she wasn't well, she had nasty coughs."

"Well, she was 95." I was shocked.

"What?" I questioned. "She was 95?"

"Yeah. She must've died of old age."

"Then why did you guys let her babysit Hayley?

"We had no choice. She said she could do it and we called at the last minute."

"You should have called someone younger. You're lucky that I was there otherwise your daughter would be dead."

"Yeah, we're real lucky that our fish saved Hayley from a fire that he caused because he's really peeved about the fish body thing."

"What's that suppose to mean? You still think that I caused the fire, don't you?"

"Yeah, this was all part of your plan. You created a fire, killed Bessie and saved Hayley. You did it because you thought you'll be rewarded by having me convince Bollock to change you back so you can return to your family in Germany."

"NIEN! There was no plan, but that is a good idea. You're not going to do it, are you?"

"Nope!" I sighed.

"Look, I didn't set the house on fire and I didn't kill Bessie Applebaum."

"Oh, we believe you, fish."

"You do?"

"Nope!" Just then, Hayley came crawling up to me.

"Kla-Kla!" She screeched, hugging me.

"Kla-Kla?" Francine wanted to know.

"Ja. Hayley believes me! I'm her Kla-Kla now; got a problem with that?"

"No."

"Good. At least someone believes me!" Andy came into the room then.

"When I woke up Hayley," He began. "She came zooming in here." He noticed Haley hugging me. "Wow! Hayley is really attached to that fish. Usually it's cats and dogs, but this time it's a fish."

"Don't worry." Stan assured him. "It'll pass when she gets older." Francine gave Andy some money.

"Here's for your trouble." She said. Andy put up his hands and shook his head.

"No, no. It was no trouble at all. Keep the change; I don't need it."

"Are you sure?"

"No, no! Well, maybe a razor so I can shave. Nah; you better keep it."

"Well, okay." She was about to stash them back into her purse when Andy took them.

"Oh, what the heck!" He put the change in his pocket. He led us to the door. Francine put a cloth around Hayley to keep her warm and carried us outside.

"Bye!" He waved when we were outside. "Call me anytime if you need anything!"

"We will!" Francine called. "Bye!"

"Bye!" Stan shouted.

"Auf Wiedersehen!" I hollered. Francine gave Haley to Stan.

"What was that?" Stan asked.

"That was how we say 'good-bye' in German. I'm shocked you didn't know that."

"No, I knew that. It's just, you are a fish now so you shouldn't be talking. People might get suspicious and take you away."

"Oooh!" I squealed. "To put mien brain back into a human's?"

"No, for profit." I frowned.

"Besides I told you, you'll never get out of that body."

"You never told me that."

"Oh, I didn't? Well, you'll never get out of that fish body until Bullock says you can." I frowned again, and then changed the subject, not wanting to argue any further. "Where are we going?"

"Well," Francine told me. "We can't go home, so we're going to my adoptive parents' place until it's safe for us to live at our house again."

"Okay." She led me to a couple that was admiring Hayley. The man had Hayley in his arms while the woman tickled her, making her giggle. The couple looked at us. The man gave Hayley back to Stan. The mother looked at me.

"You got fish?" She asked in her Chinese accent.

"I know mama." Francine told her. "I wanted a bunny or a kitty, but we got a fish instead."

"Okay, whatever. Just hop in car and we go to house." So, we went in. As soon as we were settled, they drove off. Francine holding onto me and Stan holding onto Hayley.