Note: I'm so sorry, there is some considerable degree of talking before the smut, referencing events in Episode 13 – Arrow on the Doorpost. Just grit your teeth and push through it. And once again thank you to all who have reviewed and favourited and followed, what started as a one shot has taken on a life of its own.

Chapter Four

"So… ya gonna talk ta me or what?"

Beth said nothing, not even turning around. She knew the silent treatment was a little childish, but she also knew if she spoke her emotions would overwhelm her; she couldn't look at him right now, she was still so upset. What could he have been thinking?

…

Everything had seemed fairly calm, and she thought it safe to leave him with the others while she deposited ammunition at various points within the prison. Of course, he'd been shooting his mouth off all day about going after the others, but that was just Merle. Then, while up on the walkway at the other end of the cellblock, she'd heard him yelling something about his brother and had known instantly there was going to be trouble.

Racing into the room, she just had time to see Merle and Glenn tumble down the concrete steps before Maggie and, more worryingly, Michonne had grabbed his arms.

Hurt and angry, she was trembling as she fired the gun. Ignoring what the others might think she'd stared hard at Merle, waiting... wanting... willing him to look and see the pain he'd caused her. But he hadn't, deliberately looking away instead as he angrily shrugged off the women's hold. Somehow they'd spent the rest of the day avoiding each other, although when her father and the others had finally returned that became impossible. Even as she'd listened to Rick's words, telling them that war was coming, that they needed to be ready, she'd been acutely aware of Merle the whole time… of how he stood propped against the cell wall in front of her… or when he had walked casually behind her while speaking to Glenn… even feeling his presence behind her as the meeting ended.

Once Rick had finished, Beth watched for a moment as everyone broke away to deal with the news in their own way, either individually or into their usual couples. She then left herself to find a deserted corner far away from the others, wanting to be left alone while at the same time perversely hoping Merle cared enough to seek her out. Sometimes she didn't know what she wanted these days… no, that wasn't true. She knew what she wanted, she just didn't know if what she wanted was for the best. Beth had no time to give it further thought as she heard heavy booted footsteps behind her… and now here they were, him trying to bridge the gulf he'd created, and her failing to meet him halfway.

"Ya know, I… uh…seems I don't much like it when ya mad at me. Don't seem ta sit right wit' me."

Quite an admission from Merle, and Beth was forced to put her hand over her mouth and shake her head, still trying to maintain control. She didn't realise he'd walked up behind her until she heard his voice right by her ear.

"C'mon, girlie, please…"

Even though she clapped another hand firmly over her mouth, she couldn't cover the sobs that wracked her small frame, and in seconds Merle had turned her around and was holding her firmly in his arms, face buried in her hair. She tried to pull away a little half-heartedly, but her strength was no match for his, and after a few seconds she gave up and wound her fingers into his shirt, while her face was hidden in the black tee that covered his chest.

"Shh… shh, I know, darlin', I'm a bastard, ya can say it, ain't tha worst thing I been called…" After a few minutes she had quieted enough to mumble something into his chest, and Merle chuckled, clearly relieved. "Well, I don't know what cha said, but I can't say as I care s'long as ya talkin' ta me again."

Rubbing her face into his chest and sniffing, Beth looked up and repeated, "I wouldn't call you a bastard." Merle gave her rather twisted smile, and reached up a hand to her chin.

"Mebbe ya wouldn't, but I sure am one, makin' pretty girls cry. Still, guess ya gotcha revenge, huh?" he grimaced, looking down at the mixture of tears and snot that now decorated the front of his t-shirt.

"Sorry, but I think you got off lightly," she said, holding his gaze, letting him know she meant it. Merle sighed and pulled her back into him, and Beth tilted her head so she could hear the steady thud of his heart beneath her ear, and the words that rumbled out of him.

"Ya know I ain't a restful soul, Beth. An' I know, ya gonna tell me ta be patient, but…i's my brother out there, my baby brother…an' it ain't right that I ain't out there, watchin' his back. Not now I found him again. Ya can understan' that, can't cha?"

Beth took her hands from their death grip on his chest, instead looping her arms around his waist. "When we first met… if it wasn't for your eyes, I would never have believed you were Daryl's brother," she said slowly, before looking up to face him. That was why she saw it, the tiniest flicker of something that crossed his face.

"Well, baby bro was always tha sweet one," he said, voice flat, clearly taking her words as some kind of rejection.

"That's not what I mean. I used to think you were both so different, but now...," she looked down at his chest, frowning, trying to think of how she could convey what she meant, "Daryl, he lives in the corners. Even when we weren't here, I saw… he was always pressed against the walls, back to them, almost invisible. He wants to keep other people where he can see them, at a distance, and not be seen himself…" She looked up, and saw Merle was watching her with a narrow gaze, listening intently. It threw her, such focus on her words, but she had to continue.

"You… you're not like that at all. You come and take over a room… you put yourself right in the centre of it, stand your ground and push people back. You ain't hiding from the world in the same way as Daryl. But I see now, you're both doing it for the same reason. You're both expecting to be hurt… waiting on the pain… only Daryl's trying to avoid it, and you're wanting to prove you can take it."

Looking up, she slowly reached up to stroke her hand down Merle's face. He didn't move, but his eyes moved over her face rapidly, and he was listening, always listening. "But you're so… you fill up a place, Merle; people get pressed against the walls, and folk don't like being crushed. When I saw them three with you, all of them hating you so much…" she stopped and choked back another small sob, and Merle held her so tightly it was almost painful. "It's in them to kill you, Merle, and there wouldn't be any questions if you gave them that push. We've all got to try to live here together, or we're all gonna die here together. You've got to start giving others their space… letting them breathe too. Don't you see that?"

"Nice ta know someone would'a cared, but… I ain't much one fer change, darlin'. Been this way a lot a years now. I'm too old…"

"How is the gold become dim! How is the most fine gold changed!" mocked Beth gently, pressing a kiss over his heart just hard enough for him to feel it through the fabric, before resting her head on his chest again.

"Hey! None a that smart mouth a yers, girlie," Merle growled jokingly at her, and Beth smiled though he couldn't see it. "An' I weren't never fine gold ta begin wit'…" Beth merely slipped her arms a little higher, and was surprised to feel him tense as she gave him a hug. She looked up, trying to read his face.

"What's wrong?"

"Ain't nothin' wr…"

"Don't lie, tell me."

"Jus' my back… i's a little sore from fallin' down them steps... had worse, jus' gettin' old, like I tol' ya. Don't need no sympathy…"

"You'll get none," said Beth firmly, "you brought it on yourself. But I'd better have a look."

Merle looked distinctly unhappy at that, and his grip loosened.

"I tol' ya I'm fine."

"Then let me see…"

"No."

"Merle…"

"Dammit, no!" he replied sharply, turning away.

"Why?!"

"Fuck, Beth, ya know what's there! It ain't pretty, an' I don't wan' ya seein' shit like that!"

"But I want to see them."

"No, ya don't."

"I seen Daryl's…"

Merle's gaze snapped back to hers so fast she felt it like a blow.

"Wha' tha fuck yer mean ya seen Daryl's? When?"

"When he got injured, Daddy had him brought into our house, and I helped get bandages and things. I got a glimpse before I was thrown out."

"Oh…" Merle seemed slightly non-plussed as he turned away again, and Beth wondered if he might fleetingly have believed he had reason to be jealous of Daryl. This time it was she who snuck up behind him, and she rested her forehead between his shoulder blades, allowing her hot breath to warm his back.

"What do you think I'll see, Merle? Tell me." Merle said nothing, and after a while she spoke again. "I'm not frightened of them, or you. I won't think less of you, Merle. You can't hide them from me forever…"

"Blessed are they whose sins are covered..." he replied haltingly, and Beth rubbed his back comfortingly.

"Mmm," she agreed slowly, "and blessed are they whose iniquities are forgiven. But they're not your sins to cover; they're his. You know that, Merle, don't you?" He turned to face her, and though his expression was stoic, his eyes were shadowed.

"Then 'why is my pain perpetual, an' my wound incurable, which refuseth ta be healed?' It's 'cause they are my sin's, girlie, don't make no mistake about that. Mebbe I didn't deserve 'em when I got 'em… can't see no kid deservin' that… but I earned 'em, Beth, believe that if ya believe nothin' else. I've earned every one over tha years."

She reached up, and cupped his hard face in her soft hands. "Then show me who you are, Merle."

"Beth…"

"Trust me… show me..."

Merle gave an irritated sigh, and turning away suddenly he yanked off his shirt as best he could, while Beth stood patiently with large, solemn eyes. When he reached for the hem of his tee, he slowed and turned back to her, his face unreadable, eyes studying her face.

"Look upon mine affliction an' my pain; an' forgive all my sins," he said dryly, as though he knew she wouldn't, and Beth had a strange, sad sense that Merle was saying goodbye to her. Then he looked away, squared his shoulders and pulled off the garment, standing in total silence as he let her take it all in.

…

Her eyes welled with tears, but she didn't cry, didn't gasp; instead she swallowed it down… down along with all the rage and hate and pain she felt on seeing the patchwork of scars that crossed his back. Silvered and white and pale pink, the twisted tissue overlapping and merging… on one shoulder it even looked as though someone had tried to carve a word…

…it was the work of years...

Added to them now were a few bloody grazes from the fall, but now she saw he had only spoken the truth when he said he'd had worse.

He was wrong about her though. She wasn't scared or disgusted by him, nor was her heart broken for him; no, it only cracked a little further, letting the feelings she had for him pour out and fill her up, overflowing, until they could no longer be contained.

She reached out to him.

Merle was still frozen, his spine so rigid Beth thought it might crack with tension. She touched him, ignoring the shudder that ran through him, studying his back intently as though the gentle passage of her hands could smooth away the marks on his flesh.

He allowed her exploration, but he was still stiff and unmoving, so she slipped her arms under his, reaching over his chest and hooking her hands on his shoulders. Now he could no longer escape her, she pressed her lips to his torn flesh. He gave a sharp intake of breath and made as if to move away, but she only tightened her grip. She brushed her mouth across the puckered lines, before switching to wet open mouthed kisses, allowing cool air to trace over wounds that must have once burned white hot with agony.

He trembled before giving a long exhale, the tension finally leaving his shoulders as his head dropped a little. "Beth," he muttered brokenly, "Beth…" His hand came up and clasped over one of hers, holding her against him.

"Shh…," she whispered, kissing each inch of marred skin until finally they just stood there, her body pressed close against his; heartbeats slow, breathing together, at some kind of peace.

…

Eventually, unwillingly, she said quietly, "I should go get something for those scratches." His hand tightened a little on hers in response.

"Don't bother, ain't nothin'," he murmured. Beth smiled and kissed a sliver of smooth skin on his shoulder blade before she regretfully pulled away.

"I don't want you to get an infection. You need someone to start taking care of you, Merle Dixon."

"Hmm," he grunted, but she thought he was secretly rather pleased as he dragged her into his arms and gave her a quick kiss on the mouth. "Don't be long."

She smiled at him and went to fetch one of the small first aid boxes they'd picked up on their travels. The scratches would only need ointment, but she wanted them cleaned first; the prison was a dirty place. She was so pleased and distracted by their new degree of intimacy, she didn't notice someone watch her and start to follow.

She made her way back to Merle to find him sitting on a bench, still bared to the waist, and as Beth came through the door it was wonderful to see his eyes light up when he saw her. She began to walk to towards him, a smile on her face, when she heard a shocked voice behind her.

"What the hell is going on here?!"

Beth turned slowly, and her voice was as cold as the look she sent him.

"Isn't it obvious, Glenn? Merle and I were just about to have sex."

…

It was totally worth the embarrassment of saying 'sex' to Glenn just for the look on his face; shock and outrage and, to her annoyance, a hint of disgust. "What?!... you… you can't…"

Merle was tensed and he looked angry, so she carefully positioned herself between them.

"Can't what? Be serious? Oh, I'm very serious, Glenn," Beth continued with unnatural calm, though anyone who knew her well could see the angry tension in the lines of her body. Setting down the first aid box on a nearby table, she continued. "Please, don't let this little box of medical equipment fool you. I wouldn't want you to get the impression that I was treating Merle's injuries after your ridiculous fight! Oh no, this is merely a ruse so Merle and I can get up close and personal with some privacy…"

"God, Beth, fine! I'm sorry! Just… stop talking. It's sick!" he said, his face now a mask of disgust. Beth tried not to be angry. She knew Merle had beaten Glenn badly, had even thrown a walker at him in a fit of temper when he couldn't find out where Daryl was, but there was no need for that look on his face. Hadn't Daryl beaten Randall on the group's orders? Hadn't they then planned to hang him? They were not so far above Merle in her opinion; at least Merle was trying to be better, and he deserved his chance.

"Anyway, he started it," continued Glenn. "He was going to put the group in danger, your father in danger! He's an animal, Beth, you should stay away from him. I'm going to have to tell Herschel…"

"My father already knows I'm spending time with Merle, I have his blessing to do so, but please feel free. As to your behaviour, I've told Merle he was in the wrong, but you didn't exactly help the situation by confronting him. You must know by now Merle won't back down like that in front of other people. If you're going to be a leader you need to start working with people's differences."

"But he's…"

"I'm sorry, Glenn, I really need to put some ointment on Merle's cuts. If you have any, I suggest you ask Maggie to do the same for you. We don't want anyone getting ill right now; we'll need all the people we have in what's coming. Including Merle."

Glenn stared hard at her, then at Merle. For once Merle didn't provoke him with one of his smirks, but instead returned the glare. Then Glenn shrugged, and nodded at Beth. "You be careful with him, watch him close." Beth nodded back, and he turned and walked away, muttering over his shoulder, "I hope you know what you're doing."

…

"Lil' chink prick," grumbled Merle angrily as she smeared the cream over the broken skin, "I oughta…"

"Shh… no you shouldn't and don't call him that. Let's not spoil today; just don't think about him." She finished and started to put the various bottles away, before feeling Merle's hand slip around her waist, and his lips press against her neck.

"Don't know 'bout that," he whispered, "kinda liked seein' ya all riled up like that, least when i's against somebody else."

Laughing a little, Beth replied, "Seems like I'm not the only one that's a little riled up, but I need to put this back first."

"Leave it," he said, sucking lightly on her neck. Beth moaned and reached back to cup his jaw, but eventually pulled away.

"I'd better put it back now. We don't want to be interrupted by someone looking for it."

"Fine, fine," he said resigned, dragging himself away. She was tempted to touch him, but she thought she might not get away again. When Beth did return, she did so quietly, hoping to surprise him.

She was lucky.

She walked in to find him, face relaxed and eyes closed, leaning against a wall and bathed in a little pool of warm sunlight that had somehow broken through the prison gloom. This time as she looked at him, worn by a hard life and hard time but still strong and indomitable, the rush of affection was coloured with lust.

Dropping back behind the door, she felt a rush of disbelief and nervous excitement at what she was about to do. Checking quickly back down the corridor, she silently took off her shirt, the vest beneath and, after a moment's hesitation, her bra as well. She shivered slightly at the cool air, but it was worth it. Moving forward quickly and quietly, she dropped her clothes on the floor.

Opening his eyes at the noise, Merle looked slightly stunned to find a half-naked Beth throwing her arms around his neck.

"Beth! Jesus, girlie, ya…," but Beth cut him off with a kiss, starting a little tentatively at first. He had initiated all their kisses until now, and she knew he liked to be in control of any situation. Still, she stood on tiptoe and pressed her lips softly to his, kissing him gently at first before flickering her tongue at the seam of his mouth, temping him to give her entry. Eventually he opened it and gave her the access she craved, and she enjoyed teasing a tongue as slick and sweet and dangerous as the man himself.

However, it wasn't in Merle to sacrifice full control; even as he let her take his mouth, he wrapped his arm around her and spun them round, trapping her between his body and the wall. The concrete was chilly against her back, but it just gave her an excuse to press herself harder into the warmth of his chest. As the kiss became more heated, she slid her hands up to run them through his hair, raking through the shorter bristles at the back before tousling the longer softer hair at the top. Merle moaned and dragged his head away and down her neck, until his roving hand reached up to cup her breast and squeeze it as he suckled the nipple.

"Merle…" she groaned, as he tugged at it with his teeth before letting it go, panting a little as he brushed his rough thumb over the aching bud.

"Shit, girlie, look at ya tits… so fuckin' perfect. Tha way they tip up at a man, all perky an' eager, beggin' fer his touch…"

"Your touch," she whimpered, "just yours…" and she pulled him back down to her breast. While he feasted there, Beth tried to pull her wits together enough to put her plan into action. Carefully she moved her hand lower to his belt. She'd just about pulled the strap from the buckle when his hand caught her wrist firmly.

"Girlie…" he said warningly.

"Don't tell me no…" she begged, pushing against his hold, "let me touch you."

His grip slackened slightly, and she could see want and caution war on his face. "I don't…"

She slipped neatly out of his loose hold and rubbed firmly at the bulge in his pants. "Say yes, Merle," she whispered against his mouth, "tell me yes…"

Merle gave an exasperated growl and kissed her hard, his hand slipping up to grasp her hair as he plundered her mouth before pressing his forehead to hers. "Dammit, girlie, yes," he muttered, "tha answer's always yes…"

Smirking at her victory, she nimbly undid his belt and pulled down his fly, before reaching into his pants and cupping him in her hand; Merle gave a pleased sounding rumble against her. He felt good in her hand, so hard and hot, but she was already past the limits of her experience now, so she proceeded to rub him rather uncertainly.

"Ya alright, girlie…?" he rasped, voice a little unsteady.

"I'm just… I don't want to hurt you…"

Merle half groaned as he chuckled, "Ya ain't gonna hurt me, angel… lemme jus'…" and he reached down and helped her move his boxers so he was fully exposed. Beth held him, admired him, studying the thick shaft and angry head… but she was not without certain sense of trepidation. He seemed so large in her small hand. How would he ever fit inside her? Even his finger had felt…

"Beth, ya don't have ta do nothin' ya don't want…" he said, picking up on her nervousness, but she detected the faint trace of regret in his strained voice, and she wouldn't let him down.

"I like seeing my hand on you," she said simply, looking into his eyes, "you feel like velvet…" Somehow his eyes seemed to darken even as he looked at her. "Merle, show me how to make you feel good…"

Holding her gaze, Merle placed his hand over her own, helping her grip him more firmly before setting her a steady twisting rhythm as she stroked him. Beth began to work him then, feeling the soft slide of his skin beneath her palm. He kept his eyes on her face as long as he could but eventually they flickered shut, his breathing becoming a shallow rasp while his face went slack with pleasure. He removed his hand from hers and placed it on the wall by her head, using it instead to support his sagging form.

Beth loved watching him, seeing the slight tremors that went through him as she brushed her thumb over the tip, spreading the liquid there over him, and he began to thrust slightly into her hand in time with her movements. He was so strong in comparison to her fragile frame, and yet now so vulnerable to her; she thrilled to feel the pulse of his blood in her hand. She remembered once when her father had taken her to the zoo as a child, and she seen the tigers prowling in their cages… how the temptation to rub her face into their soft looking fur had almost overridden her fear of their sharp teeth and claws. Now she had a tiger of her own; his back striped and red in tooth and claw… but all hers… all hers…

As her hand moved on him, he thrust as little more urgently, and her fingers brushed his balls. He gasped and jolted a little, his head falling back slightly, and Beth smiled at him. "You have to tell me what you like, remember…?" she said softly, as she dropped her other hand from his chest to delicately cup and caress their heavy weight, ever mindful of hurting him.

"Beth, Jesus…" he gasped, thrusting harder now, and Beth kissed his chin gently.

"Shh, don't blaspheme…" She moved forward into him, so on each thrust his throbbing head could brush the soft skin of her naked belly.

"Fuck," Merle choked out instead.

"Better…," she smirked, loving how much pleasure she could give him.

"Girlie, I'm gonna… I can't…"

"Then don't. I want you to, Merle," she whispered to him, "I want to... I want to see you come. I want to know how you feel on my skin…"

It was enough to send him moaning and shuddering over the edge, and she watched with an innocent's surprise as he came over her hand, splashing warmly onto her belly and breasts. She continued to milk him until he stayed her with a shaky hand, the sensation clearly becoming too much.

"Fuck, Beth, that was… ya were…" he broke off in wonderment as she trailed a finger through some of the fluid that covered her breasts and put her finger in her mouth. It wasn't as bad as she had heard; just odd, salty with a strange consistency she couldn't identify. She dipped her finger back for another sample, more from curiosity than anything, but it seemed Merle could take no more and pulled her roughly to him, kissing her thoroughly, ignoring the fact he was smearing his cum over both of them, that he must be able to taste himself in her mouth.

He kissed her until she was breathless, and his own breathing was heavy when they broke apart. He dropped his hand to the fly of her own jeans, but she stopped him. "No, that was all for you. You don't need to."

"Sure I do. An' I wanna…"

"I know, but we should get back," she kissed him, "but… it was good, wasn't it?"

"Tha best, girlie," he murmured, holding her tightly, "tha fuckin' best."

…

Merle sacrificed his tee to clean her tenderly before roughly wiping himself, and once they'd dressed she explored her new found confidence by stealing another kiss from him. He smirked. "Can't get enough a me now, huh?"

Beth grinned. "Never could."

This time they returned together, though they kept a little distance for appearances sake. As it turned out, once they got back to the central room there was only Glenn there, accompanied by Maggie. Antagonised by Glenn's sullen look, and feeling wicked with delicious secrets, Beth turned to Merle and gave him an exaggerated wink.

"Same time tomorrow, big boy?"

Merle grinned as he realised what she was doing.

"Ya know it, darlin'," he replied smugly, looking directly at Glenn before heading for the exit. "An' wear somethin' pretty fer me, ya hear?" he called over his shoulder as he left.

Beth laughed and went through to the kitchen area, but not before she heard her sister's bemused voice behind her.

"Uh… Glenn, what on earth was all that about?"

…

I know, I'm sorry they still haven't had sex, despite it being a consummation devoutly to be wished, but I have to build up to the full on Meth experience. Anyway, I hope you still enjoyed and reviews are as always so very, very welcome.

For those of you awaiting another chapter of Weeds, in the next few days I promise. I just need to make it through tonight (or tomorrow for me, since I'm in the UK). I think some of you may know why.