This chapter's title is a song by Reel Big Fish. I think the lyrics fit Billy more than Sally… (though it does work for her on some levels) but the title fits Sally just fine.
Also, I'm ridiculously proud of this chapter for one VERY silly reason. You'll see. xD
Chapter 4: Brand New Hero
(Not quite exactly six weeks and a day after the lights went out)
................................
It was just past six in the evening. She had just finished her sector's daily project. On the television, a man with a rather comical name was talking about Horrible Labs' new Extra Potato, which was like a potato, but somehow better, like it had carrots in it or something. She wasn't exactly paying attention. There were only two channels broadcasting in L.A. anyway—one from Horrible Labs, and one which sector Q put on.
The meeting started at eight o'clock, and Sally was not stalling at all.
She stared at Johnny's letter for forty five-ish non-stalling minutes before deciding to hop in her car and follow the directions to wherever they may lead.
Johnny's letter had informed her of a small group of superheroes with plans to put an end to Dr. Horrible's plans for world domination. They needed all the help they could get. It all sounded well and good, but his directions left a lot to be desired. They caused her to circle at least twice, drive through rather shifty looking alleys, and park by a sidewalk where pretty much nothing looked like a secret hideout for the world's last shred of hope. She looked back to the directions.
There is a section of sidewalk with a yellow spot of paint and a large crack. Insert two quarters.
Having no better plan, Sally complied. The rectangle of sidewalk opened for all of five seconds before snapping shut again.
"Hey…." She stared down at the cement in disbelief. "Hey! You stole my money!"
A voice sounded from a nearby tree: "Please insert two quarters."
Sally's face fell. Secret entrances in the sidewalk and talking trees... This was either ridiculous or brilliant; she wasn't quite sure and didn't quite care. "I did! It just… closed too fast," she muttered awkwardly into empty space.
"Not our problem. Quarters, please."
Again, with no better plan, Sally complied, this time making sure to jump down immediately.
Sally was greeted by a grinning man in a tight tee-shirt. "Welcome, to the Command Center, headquarters for the Hammer Force. Care to see the Ham Jet?" He smiled haughtily and tipped her a wink.
The handsome Captain Hammer…
(corporate tool)
…the city's once-preeminent hero.
"No, no," he continued. "There'll be plenty of time for that later! You paid your dues, and my library fine, so we should go over the rules."
"Wait… don't you even care who I am?"
"First rule of Hammer Force, don't talk about Hammer Force… unless we're talking about Hammer Force, in which case, we talk about Hammer Force."
"I could be a villain, or a spy…"
"Second rule of Hammer Force: No geese."
"And that's about it," he said with a shrug. "We're not about rules, we're about The Mission, the mission to destroy that nerdy little… science guy with his beakers and… tongs. Don't trust him, never did. And that's why…"
A group of costumed people stomped rhythmically up a flight of stairs, all carrying hammers... and Sally could have sworn she heard music.
"It's a hammered life for him!" sang Captain Hammer.
"It's a hammered life for him," echoed the heroes.
"We used to rule this town, y'know?"
"Used to get free stuff, fo' sho!"
They hammered the walls in time with that music which played from God-knows-where. Sally stood stone-still, unblinking.
"Gotta hide each and ev'ry day!"
"We're sick of it, we say!"
"So with our hammers, we'll…"
They hit their hammers twice against the floorboards. Some heroes cart-wheeled and back-flipped.
"…beat him dead!"
"Drive a nail right…"
The hammering was repeated, but this time, long, dangerously pointed nails popped out from the ends of each hammer.
"…through his head!"
"It's a hammered life!"
Sally stared on in disbelief. "An Annie rip-off? Really? You're wasting time! Just stop!"
They did not stop.
"Can't you see that this city's in ruin?"
"Don't you feel like no hope is in sight?"
"Well that jury's gonna be soon in."
They all crossed their arms and Hammer grinned knowingly.
"Oh, there's gonna be a fight!"
"That pesky nerd's gonna see the truth now."
"Everything'll be goin' our way."
"We swear we'll find a way how,"
"To teach him to do what we say!"
"Ohhhhh, ohhhhh, ohhhhh!"
Sally soon found herself surrounded.
"Take those clothes off, and see."
They spun her between them, ripping off her long skirt and blouse to reveal the shorter red skirt , leggings, and superhero-ly tight shirt she was luckily wearing underneath.
"How you become part of We!"
"Just how glad you'll be,"
"You'll save the world, by gee!"
Rose Red turned to each person slowly. "Why did you just do that? That was completely uncalled for! I… I just…" She began to sing.
"What if I wasn't wearing this?"
"I'd be terr-i-bly undressed!"
Captain Hammer took over.
"I don't think I'd mind,"
"If you showed your behind!"
The hammering stopped. No one moved. Rose Red opened her mouth, but quickly closed it again. There was an awkward moment of silence before the singing resumed.
"It's a hammered life for him!"
"It's a hammered life for him!"
"That's right, we'll beat him dead!"
"Wouldn't want to be his head!"
Two heroes grabbed Sally by her arms and dragged her up to a secondary exit.
"It's a hammered life."
"It's a hammered life."
"It's a hammered life!"
Cheering erupted in the distance as the sky exploded in light.
………………………….
LOL! Of course, I claim no ownership to Annie, or any of its music. xD Did I take that a bit too far? I was going to just write a little of the song, but then… it pretty much became the whole chapter! I don't think I wrote lines for every line in the actual song, but it was close. Heh.
Anyhow… Why am I only capable of writing this story late at night? Reading over my chapters, I'm surprised they're as coherent as they are. xD!