This chapter is mostly for comic relief, although I'm sure you could figure that out yourself. I'm sure you noticed in the prologue how I made a slight joke about an Easter egg that's found in Ocarina of Time. You know if you go to the ranch and look at Talon and Ingo, they bare a slight resemblance to Mario and Luigi. Well, my historic explanation for that is that their ancestors were the Mario and Luigi. May they rest in peace--yet in our hearts, they will live on forever. Especially since they get their own video game series. How do the owners of a small ranch end up becoming the stars of a popular video game franchise? Well, that's the little story of this chapter. I hope you enjoy it, and I hope it's comic enough to give you relief. No, not that kind of relief. Let us begin!
"Hehe," said the guard. "This is going to be fun."
"I really don't think we should do it," said the other.
There were two guards standing in the castle courtyard, in the small garden that you could look out at from the throne room. They weren't allowed to be there, and they certainly weren't allowed to do what they were about to do—that was, fire a rock through one of the three windows (There was one in the throne room, and two looking out from the hallways on either side. They intended to shatter the window to the left of where they were standing and then run away as quickly as they could.).
"Here goes," said the first guard. He pulled back on the band and with a whoosh of air he let the rock fly. It struck right on the target and the window shattered, splattering glass across the floor like water droplets.
"Hey! Quit messing around!" someone shouted. Then a man appeared in the broken window frame and threw a bomb at them (I guess this is something that runs in the family.). "HOLY SHIT!" screamed the one that had fired the rock. "RUN!" They ran, and the bomb exploded behind them, searing the grass and flowers in its blast radius.
Inside, a painter placed down his brush and looked with agitation out the window—the one opposite the other which had just been shattered. "What is going on out there?" he asked. "An artist needs complete concentration in order to work. Someone ought to…"
"I'm not paying you to talk," said Princess Zelda. She was the very first in a long line of girls born to the royal family that would bear that name. "Is that portrait almost finished?"
"You cannot rush art," said the artist.
"Let me see it," said Zelda. She stood up and walked across the room. "No! Don't move! I told you to stay in that same position…"
"This isn't even a picture of me," said Zelda.
The artist looked at his painting. "You're right," he said. "How puzzling."
"What do you mean, it's puzzling? You're the one who painted it! Hey, aren't those the two guys that own the ranch? Well, owned the ranch, I should say. Mario and Luigi, right?"
"It does bare a striking resemblance to them," said the artist.
"I told you to stop acting like you don't even know what you painted. It looks EXACTLY like them, right down to the green and red clothing that they always wore. But…what's this dinosaur thing that's standing over Mario's left shoulder?"
"I believe that is called a Yoshi," said the artist.
"You really are on crack, aren't you," said Zelda. "Hey, there I am! In the corner!"
"That DOES look like you," said the artist. "But she looks more like…a Princess Peach. Yes, that's what I'll call her. Princess Peach."
"Princess Peach? So then I'm not in this picture at all?"
"I'm afraid not," said the artist. "I'm sorry."
"But I specifically TOLD you to paint ME! These all look like characters out of a video game series, or something!"
"Hold on," said the artist. "You're absolutely right about that."
He picked up a phone on the wall and dialed a number.
"Hello?" asked a Japanese voice.
"Guess what, Miyamoto," said the artist. "You're going to love this new idea I just came up with."
While the artist was talking on the phone, Zelda walked over to the wall and hung up the picture. If you stood at the right place in the courtyard and turned to your right, you could see it hanging there. And there it remained for a very, very long time, as we all know.